“Yes, Hawk. Please, please, please!” she begs as her juice floods around my cock. At the same time, I release myself into her and look to Zane.
“Raven is my woman, and mine alone. I’ll let everyone know I’m claimin’ this pussy here and now. She’s my property,” I roar out, still releasing myself inside her. She’s had my cock worked up for ages, I suppose, at the rate I’m going.
I direct my attention back to Raven and smile at her. “I’m going to fuck you as much as I can, girl. You’re too fuckin’ addicting.”
28
In the end, karma will be a bigger bitch than I’ll ever need to be
~ Your Tango
Raven
Zane has been avoiding Hawk and I for the last three days. I’m not sure why, but I’m betting walking in on Hawk ramming his cock into me wasn’t exactly what he wanted. Especially when he was the one fucking me a couple weeks ago.
I don’t think Hawk noticed but Zane made a face when Hawk informed him I was his, that he was claiming me. Again, I don’t believe Zane is jealous, but I do think he’s envious. Something tells me that Zane will never admit I’m right . . . even if in my heart I know it to be true. He needs a woman to ground him, someone to anchor him through all this chaos. I hope, for his sake, he’s officially made Prez soon because from what I understand, that’s when his fiancé will be flown out here to start the alliance between the Raiders and the Reapers.
Zane is a good man, but like any other man, he has his own flaws. It’s obvious to me he isn’t the type who enjoys talking about his feelings, so I hope whenever his woman does come up here she has better luck. Who knows, maybe love will change him a bit.
I was hoping to be able and visit Matthew today, but I didn’t know about the policy the rehab has in place. No one can visit anyone for thirty days after they were admitted. While they want family support for anyone struggling with addiction, certain aspects of being seen during treatment can have negative effects on a patient. However, I was allowed to call Matthew so I did that instead.
My reason for calling was strictly to see how he’s been doing. While the beginning was rough, he started to feel a bit better after withdrawal. He said he’s enjoying therapy and my heart warmed up at hearing him speak like that. As kids, we never spoke about our feelings. In fact, I remember our mother telling us to toughen up because the world is a grim, dark place most of the time. So, from a young age, we both dealt with not wanting to discuss things about the environment we lived in. Coming from that setting, it makes me more than happy to hear therapy is working well for my brother.
Honestly, after speaking with him this morning I’m angered even more at our Momma. She exploited my brother to make herself feel better in some sort of sick, twisted way. A real mother would never do that. Even in catching up with my brother, I couldn’t refrain from asking him if he had a way of contacting our Momma. I’ve been going around town, trying to see if I could spot her, but I haven’t been able to.
He wasn’t able to give me a phone number, but he gave me something even more useful— her address.
I’m about ten minutes away from her house and from what Matthew told me, her house is owned by General. Matthew told me a lot of what I thought I knew was wrong. Momma doesn’t owe money to General. She’s his girlfriend, and the two of them work together in a business sense. “When we get there, I’m going in alone. I don’t want them to see I’m with you,” I tell Hawk, keeping my eyes trained on the road in front of me.
“No, that’s bullshit and I won’t do it. You could be shot right on the spot,” he argues. I understand the risks, however, my Momma wants something from me which means she won’t hurt a hair on my pretty little head.
“You will do it because you love and respect me. This is a matter between my mother and I. Plus, I’m a little offended that you think I can’t take care of myself. Look inside my purse, Hawk.”
I wait a moment and hear him go, “Hmm,”
“Yeah, I got that after the first attack. If they even try to fuck with me I’ll take my revolver out and shoot them. I’m not screwing around here. I’m tired of my family doing the worst shit to me. It’s sickening, Hawk. I get nauseous every time I think about my Momma shaking me down for money. Then what she did to Matthew? It’s wrong.”
“Yeah, it is. It’s fucked up, babe. Can I ask you somethin’?”
I look over to Hawk for a second, “Yeah, what’s up?”
“You’re always talkin’ about your mom. What about your dad?”
I think hard for a minute but all I can remember are bits and pieces. “I don’t remember much besides having him for a short time. Honestly, when I try to remember him it’s like I have a wall there. I can remember certain things, like going out for ice cream or to the zoo on daddy-daughter dates . . . but after those, I go blank. To sum it up, he left. I don’t know why. He took a suitcase, got in his car, and never came back.”
“Wow. I’ve never heard of anyone forgettin’ memories before. Well, besides people who have been through some serious trauma.” Hawk immediately grows quiet. “Did anything ever happen to you when you were a kid?”
I try to understand what he’s saying, but I can’t figure it out. “No, not that I can recall. I had a pretty normal childhood before he left and Momma went down the drain. Enough about my family, though. You’ve never said a thing to me about yours.”
Hawk chuckles for a second. “My family is . . . pretty normal, I guess. Dad works for a financial investment firm. He has since I was a kid. Mom worked at a small café in the town I grew up in while my sisters and I had school. I lived in a suburban neighborhood with two Golden Retrievers. Honestly, we were almost like those families in the insurance commercials. Just average Americans.”
I nod. “Yeah, it sure sounds like it. Must’ve been nice.”
“It was a good way to grow up, that’s for certain.”
My GPS cuts in and tells me to make a right in half a mile and I’ll arrive at my destination. I glance to Hawk for a moment before returning my attention back to the road. “I need you to stay in the car. I’ll be perfectly fine. Just hand me my purse and I’ll handle everything I need to. Okay?”
Hawk grumbles but nods. “There’s only one way I’m letting you do this. You’re going to call my cell phone right now and keep it in your purse the entire time. This way I’ll be able to hear everything going on in the house and if I need to intervene, I can.”
“Don’t you trust I can handle this by myself?” I ask, getting a bit frustrated.
“I trust you more than words can express, but I don’t trust your mother, no offense.”
“None taken,” I reply as I get closer to the address. I don’t pull in the driveway but instead, park on the street and grab my purse. Before I get out of the car, I call Hawk’s cell phone and we test to make sure everything is working. After he clears me, I exit the vehicle and walk toward my Momma’s house.
The snowfall we’ve had over the last few days crunches underneath my boots as I venture down her driveway up to her door. She lives in a country setting so they don’t have a paved walkway or anything like that leading up to the door. I step on a concrete porch and knock a few times before I see a pair of eyes peeking through the curtain. I’d know these eyes from anywhere.
“Open up, Momma. I see you starin’ at me.” I grumble out, a bit aggravated she’s already tried to act like she didn’t see me.
The door comes open and she reveals herself to me. Her dark hair is pulled up in a messy bun, she has awful bags under her eyes, and she’s wearing a pair of pajamas. “What’re you doin’ here, sweetheart?”
“Oh, save the bullshit. I got your address from Matthew. I’ll have you know he told me everything about what you did when he came to you for help. To say I’m disgusted doesn’t even cut it.”
“Honey, you know how your brother is. All those drugs in his system. You never know what’s the truth and what he’s fabricating.” She tries to make an excuse, but I’m
not a little girl anymore. I see right through it.
“So the same is accurate about yourself, right?” I retort, staring into the same hazel eyes I inherited from her.
Momma looks shocked, so much so she takes a step back. I bet she’s thinkin’ I might hit her. Boy, do I wanna, but I want to hurt her in ways so much worse than this. “I’m nothing like your brother, Chelsea. You see, Mattie is . . .”
I cut her off, not wanting to hear another moment of her bullshit. “Oh, stop with your shit, Momma. I know everything. I know you’re on drugs and you’ve been hooked since I was a little girl. I know you’re the one who is unsavable at this point. Hell, I always hoped you’d get help, but I think we all know it’ll never happen. Honestly, I’m shocked you’re even still alive with the amount of poison you put in your body.” I pause for a moment, wanting to gather my thoughts instead of going on a hate-spewed rampage. “I came here to give you payback, to hurt you far worse than you could ever hurt Matthew and I . . . but I don’t want to do it. Not because I give a damn, but because that would only mean I’m no different than you, and Momma, I am not you. I’ll leave you with this. Don’t ever come near Matthew or me ever again. I’m going to formally obtain a restraining order against you and I will keep doing so for as long as necessary. If you violate the restraining order, I will take it as a threat against my life and I’ll have no other choice than to respond with force,” I finish, turning around and walking back toward my car. I hear her screaming in the background for me to come back, about how much she needs me, but we all know it’s bullshit. She only wants to use me like she always has.
The only thing she doesn’t know is I saw the scales and drugs on her dining room table. I wanted to get back at her, and I will— only it’s in a way I never thought possible.
29
Never let your loyalty make a fool of you
~ Unknown
Hawk
I can’t say how proud I was of Raven when she confronted her mother, who in reality was never much of a mother at all. I’m not her but I imagine she’d been holding in feelings for a very long time. She didn’t act out in a violent way, which I had assumed she would’ve done. Instead, she killed her mother with kindness in a way, so to speak.
“I’m so proud of you for how you handled your mother,” I finally say after we’ve been on the road for forty minutes. With any luck, we’ll be back on Reapers property in about twenty or so minutes. The snow makes roads a bitch up here so we have to be a bit careful.
“Yeah, I’m gonna mess with her in other ways. You couldn’t tell on the phone but when I was on her doorstep, I saw a scale and white powdery stuff in bags on it and beside it. I assumed they’re drugs and I took pictures.”
“What? How? I didn’t hear you tappin’ on your phone or anythin’,” I say, baffled she did this.
“When I called you to make sure the phone was on, I pulled the camera up and kept my right hand near my purse. I had a gut feeling she had drugs in the house and knew if I got concrete evidence of it, I could provide it to the police and they could lock her up.”
Holy shit. My girl is so fuckin’ smart. “I have a better idea.” Agent Williams left four cards on Ashley’s kitchen island so we’d be able to get in contact with her. “Send me the photos, your mother’s address, and I’ll give them to a contact of mine.”
Raven turns toward me and narrows her eyes. “What do you mean contact?”
“I know someone who works at ATF. I’m bettin’ they’d love to crack a case like this, especially since your mother is tied up with that General dude. It’ll get loads of drugs off the streets in the process.” Meanwhile, the Reapers still deal with drugs. It’s how we make a majority of our cash. But Raven doesn’t need to know that.
“How do you know someone at ATF?” Raven questions. and I think about not being honest with her but I can’t bring myself to lie. She told me about her and Zane, so I have to do the right thing here and let her know about the other night.
“Remember when I was at Ashley’s and I was late comin’ home?”
Raven nods. “Yeah, I’m still pissed about that.” Of course she is. What woman doesn’t know how to hold a grudge?
“You have to promise you won’t tell a soul this, Raven. I mean it.” I sound a bit firmer than usual with her, however, I need her to understand the seriousness that comes with this.
“Geeze. Okay,” she grumbles, paying attention to the road.
“We had a visit from an ATF agent who wants the Reapers’ help with somethin’. It won’t affect you or I because we’re movin’ down to Vegas, but the guys up here will be helpin’ them. I have her contact info so I can send Agent Williams everything she needs to toss not only your mom in the slammer but maybe the General too.”
Raven pulls over to the side of the road and within a minute I have every image she took of her mom’s house, including the address. “You should text her soon. The quicker she gets the evidence she needs, the faster they’ll be thrown in jail. Honestly, I think my Momma has always deserved to be there. I don’t know how she’s evaded the law this long, especially doing drugs for as long as she can.”
“She probably flipped and became an informant to keep her ass outta jail,” I reply. Most addicts end up doin’ it to save their own asses from gettin' in trouble. After all, if you’re in jail you can’t get high.
“Yeah, I bet you’re right.”
While Raven keeps on drivin’, I prepare a message for Agent Williams giving her all the information she needs. I make sure to give her the address, all the photos, and I let her know that Raven will be more than happy to make an official statement if needed. However, I’m unsure if Agent Williams has any details about the General so I make it known Raven’s mother is dating him, he owns the house her mother lives in, and tell her everything Raven has told me. I don’t want to leave any small detail out because it could alter everything.
Within five minutes, I have a response back from Agent Williams thanking Raven and I for supplying ATF with this information. Apparently, the General and Raven’s mother have been on their radar for quite a while but they didn’t have concrete evidence there were drugs in the home. Since they have it now, they’ll be able to act on it.
“I think they’re finally goin’ to get them,” I tell Raven, going on to repeat everything Agent Williams told me.
“You know, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but it blows my mind she did all that. How she fucked with Matthew to get money from me and used him for almost a year. On top of it all, she came to visit me and said she was in trouble, begging for cash to get out from under this General guy and she’s fucking dating him the entire time. She’s despicable. If I had a child I would never treat them the way she’s treated Matthew and I.”
“And there’s the difference between you and your mother. Raven, you are compassionate and wouldn’t want to hurt a fly unless you absolutely had to. Your mother obviously never took her role as a parent seriously. This experience was awful for you, but at the end of the day you might have your brother back so it’s worth it.”
“Yeah, you’re right about that,” Raven confirms, and for the first time in ages, it’s like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. I’m hopeful since all this is over we can begin to start our life together in Vegas. Now nothin’ is holding us back.
30
“I’m not looking for someone to save me. All I want is for someone to stand by my side as I save myself.”
~ Relationship Rules
Raven
I begged Hawk to let us stay in Billings for another week. Even though I was physically ready to leave Montana . . . mentally was another story. I wasn’t thinking about just how much I’d miss this place or the memories that I’ve made here. While there have been some shitty ones, I had better ones to make up for them.
I put in a week’s notice at the bar. The only good thing I did was give it to Bernie in person. To say he was shocked is a complete understatement. He almo
st cried when he got to the end of it, gave me a massive hug, and wished me well on my future endeavors. He asked me what my plans were and I was honest. I told him I wasn’t sure what I’d be doing career wise, but my life was pulling me in another direction and I’d be moving to Nevada. He cracked a few jokes about never needing my winter gear ever again. Honestly, the weather is one of the things I’m looking forward to. I’d much rather trade in my winter coat for a bikini.
Hawk was successful in getting Frank to agree to drive my car down to Vegas. It makes me a little bit uncomfortable he’s traveling so far by himself, but he assured me he’d be fine. He said he’s looking at it like he’s on vacation, road trip style. I’ll still be an anxious wreck, but whatever. There’s no calming my anxiety.
Not much has changed over the last week except for how much packing I’ve been doing. I never realized how much stuff I had until I was throwing it all into large trash bags and shoving it in the backseat of my car. I was so determined to put everything into boxes, however, not everything would fit. We tried and failed miserably.
With the shooting and all, I forgot about things at my old apartment. Luckily, my old landlord Verlene is the sweetest woman on the face of the planet and was nice enough to hold my stuff in the storage unit in her basement. Most would’ve just sold it or thrown it in the dumpster out back. After I got shot, I told her I couldn’t stay in the apartment anymore. I was too paranoid. Even though Connor was going after Ivy . . . I couldn’t help but feel terrified. It was awkward staying with the Reapers, but at least I was safe.
Hawk and I have been in the air for a couple of hours. We were able to find a pretty affordable flight— the only catch is we have an overnight layover in Denver. Much like Frank, we’re using it as an excuse to get a mini-vacation sorta thing in. I’ve never been to Denver and neither has Hawk, but I’m sure we’ll make the best of our time in this new city while we’re here.
Hawk: Reapers MC Book #6 Page 12