by Ivy Blake
It was so utterly disappointing I didn’t know what to do.
“What happened?” My sniffles died down and I tried harder to speak coherently.
“I overheard someone today in the office. She left Logan’s office angry after talking to him and Jake. I heard her on the phone saying they were selling off one of their new ‘college conquests.’ That’s how I knew it was me. I was the only one.”
I grabbed more tissues and blew my nose out and cried more. She muttered something but I couldn’t hear through my ringing ears.
“Oh no. What did they say?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. I didn’t talk to them. I left after I heard.”
I felt her face fall. I knew she was looking at me with those eyes of hers that see right through me.
“Oh god, Madeline. What the hell? You don’t know for sure!”
She yelled and my face curled up with more tears, but she held strong as she still rubbed my back soothingly.
“I got so mad. I didn’t know what to do. I know I shouldn’t have left so please don’t say that. I just didn’t know what to do. I’m so stupid. And I missed the meeting! I’ve wrecked it all.”
Even though I wasn’t sure there would even still be a meeting. I thought I was being bought off.
“I know. I know. You have to get it together and be professional about it so that you’re sure.” I nodded.
“I can say I got held up studying. They didn’t see me there. I just don’t think I can do anything until tomorrow.”
She patted my back soothingly.
“Okay. Sounds good.”
I nodded.
I went to my room and dried my tears. But once I was in the shower new ones appeared. I felt so betrayed, it was just so hard to stop my heart from constricting at the pain. I knew I wasn’t sure but what else could she have been talking about? I had no idea how they felt about me, and they never said much besides bedroom talk. I had to tell myself that was all it was.
It sounded good and it stayed in my head forever but that’s all it was. It was meant to get me hot and bothered and that was all. I have to find a way to walk in there and break things off. Since they were buying me out anyway, they don’t need my company.
But I need them.
I got out of the shower and dressed in sweats to fit the occasion. I thought maybe I should call? I couldn’t reach for the phone. I was disappointed in them and myself. For being so unprofessional, and for letting them affect me. I knew I was so torn up because of how I felt about them. Hurt was the only thing I felt. I love them, I love them both and it hurts so much to not feel it back.
It was fast and sudden but it was real and it was consuming me. It wasn’t healthy or good for me. I’m sitting here in my bed, unable to move or do anything. It was sad and unfortunate. I was afraid and embarrassed to face them and that’s what was worse. I knew I wasn’t performing as well as I could, and they only saw me as a bedroom puppet. I dutifully played their game but now I need out.
There was nothing I could do but wish I wasn’t in love. Or wish I were loved.
Either way, I lose.
18
Jake
I was starting to realize how serious this thing with Madeline was. That week without hearing from her showed me that. And that night in her apartment was proof enough. I have had my fair share of women before, and it always felt the same. There was nothing different about any of them. They entertained me, and I always came, but there was nothing special about them.
But Madeline…before her it was like I was frozen, and she had thawed me out. Every time I touch her I seem to come alive, and when she touches me it reaches my insides, making me all soft and shit. It had been a few days since then and I could still feel her on me.
I wanted her so bad all the time, I was constantly hard and always picturing her. On my desk, on my chair, on my couch, on me. I want to see her take Logan up the ass as she sucks me off, but I know she isn’t ready for that yet. We knew she would be soon, though. And I was eagerly waiting for that day.
Everything was looking up when I went in to the office. We set up a meeting with the marketing director to make the first stride in her start-up, making a full marketing plan that we would actually stick to. Even still, I came into the office looking like one of Logan’s students, but I’m just not about suits. Everyone here knows that.
I was putting files together, all the information we had on it. Madeline was due here any minute and I couldn’t wait to see her. I even smiled at the thought of her before Logan came bursting in my office. And he wasn’t alone.
The smart thing to do is never sleep with your employees, but a few months ago I couldn’t even manage that. Stacy has been our PR director for years, and she does the job well. She is also very, very fuckable. She isn’t beautiful like Madeline, just fuckable with large tits. Anyway, we were in the office late one day and somehow ended up having sex in her office. I told her to never speak of it again, and she didn’t, but she’s often made innuendos to try and get me in her again. It was a mistake the first time, but I knew I was never going to do it again.
“We need to talk.” Logan slams the door behind him and locks it. Well shit.
I stepped around the desk tentatively, unsure of what was going on. I couldn’t read Stacy’s face, her lip job made her have permanently pursed lips, so she always kind of looked annoyed. Plus, those things feel horrible around your dick, it’s like they lose their ability to suction. Looking at her just made me think of Madeline, but not in a comparative way. Madeline was soft, natural, fucking gorgeous. Where the hell was she?
“About?” I had a feeling I would need a drink so I poured a glass of Gin, since it doesn’t smell on your breath and I had a meeting in a few minutes.
“I’m pitching a new business.” Stacy says. She crosses her arms and looks at both of us. Logan shoots me a look that screams annoyed, but I wasn’t sure why.
“What?” I managed to ask.
“Well, since you obviously have the means to throw around money on young start-ups, I thought you would look at investing in mine.”
“You’re our PR rep. You aren’t supposed to pitch us…I think.” I looked to Logan, and he nodded to tell me that I was correct. We don’t accept pitches from our internal employees, for obvious reasons.
Anything done within the company is subject to a bunch of complicated business laws that I never bothered to really know. I just listen to human resources and don’t leave myself subject to sexual harassment. It’s a wonder I haven’t failed that task. But Stacy knows better than anyone what’s best for the company, and she knows about the meeting we have today. Why would she come and do this now?
“I know that. But you could at least hear me out.”
“Hear you out?” Logan raised his voice. Stacy held up her hands and jutted back in shock, giving him a look that said why on earth are you shouting at me. She always had this entitled aura about her, and it usually goes unnoticed since we don’t see her very much unless there is a new launch. But right now it’s getting under my skin and it made me pour another drink.
“Yes. I think I have a good idea, and if you would just look at it…” Logan cut her off.
“I won’t be looking at anything. Have you even finalized the PR packet for our new start-up?” Logan asked her. I wondered what was even up his ass today, usually he isn’t this rude. I’m the asshole in this duo.
“No, because it isn’t important.” She crosses her arms defiantly and sticks her nose out.
“Excuse you, it is important.” I murmured.
Her and Logan go at it for quite a while, firing back a bunch of banter they must have paid attention to in college. I barely recognized most of the terms but I got most of it. Stacy isn’t doing her job, for whatever reason I have no clue. She had been looking out for herself. She only met Madeline once, so maybe she was jealous. Maybe she didn’t like what was going on. She may not even know we were sleeping together, but for some reason she c
ouldn’t stop bringing up our start-up. We hadn’t even named it yet and she wanted to stomp on it. It didn’t make any sense to me.
“I don’t understand why you can’t just have an open mind.”
“Maybe because you stopped doing your job weeks ago! Where is the last press packet I asked for over a week ago?” Logan scolded her.
He crossed his arms and glared at her. I stood with my hands on my hips, watching the scene unfold and trying not to laugh. I knew it was serious, we can’t lose a PR director, but we could hire one just the same. We have resumes up our ass from people who want to work for us. I would do anything to stop this madness.
“It’s hard to get anything done around here, what with your new collegiate whore running around.” She spat.
I pointed my finger angrily at her, “that’s enough. You don’t talk about her like that. I’m about done with this conversation.” I rolled my shoulders and stood back, glancing at Logan.
“Stacy, you’re fired. You can take your courtesy two weeks if you want. But I don’t want you coming into the office anymore, and your office will be cleared out tomorrow.” Logan frowned and practically growled at her.
She gasped as she stared at us, with her mouth open. She looked over to me, as if to plead with me or something. I looked away. Maybe I felt a little bad, but I always stand with Logan. Even if I missed half the conversation they had. I trusted that why he fired her was justified. Maybe I don’t pay much attention to what goes on around here.
“Logan.” She pleads. We both knew she was trying to stay strong.
She looked to both of us again, and Logan didn’t say anything. The tension in the air was thick, and strong. I could hear Logan’s labored breathing of anger. When the tension was at its thickest, she finally turned on her heel and left, slamming the door behind her.
I let out a deep exhale, and poured Logan a drink. He looked like he needed one, with his face all red. I keep telling him to tan but he doesn’t listen. Most of my workouts I did outside, so I tanned naturally. Anyway, I poured his scotch and he drank it greedily.
“So, I missed half that conversation. What happened?” I sat on the couch, and looked at him apprehensively. He shook his head and blew out a breath of exasperation.
“Stacy came in my office to show me the budget from the last three months. But it wasn’t adding up, maybe she didn’t expect me to check it. But I did. Anyway, she tried to play it off but then she started asking us to invest in one of her ideas.”
“What idea?” I leaned back and casually spread my legs. The only thing that would make me feel better was if Madeline was between them.
“I didn’t even listen, dude. I was pissed off.” He scoffed. He swirled the last sip of scotch and then downed it before he slammed the glass on the counter.
“Well, why did you bring all that shouting in here?” I was mostly joking, and he wasn’t amused. He glared at me with his angry expression.
“I wanted it to look like a joint effort.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, it was. If you thought it was best to fire her. But we have three new launches coming up, who is going to do our PR?” I asked him.
He shrugged. It wasn’t something he had thought about, obviously. But Logan could quickly make plans.
“I don’t know. I can look through the resumes we have on file. Someone can be in tomorrow, I bet.”
I nodded in agreement. A lot of people wanted to work for us. With the college just down the street everyone was pining for our internships and training programs. We had a lot of opportunities people were eager to get into. Still, it wasn’t the time to try and hire a new person. We have introductory periods, training periods, and a bunch of other shit. We may have to freelance someone we had used before.
“I guess. When is that meeting?” I glanced at my Rolex.
“Ten minutes. Madeline should be here soon.”
I rubbed my lips with my finger as I thought of her. I wish there was time to have a little fun with her before. We hadn’t had sex in a few days, but Logan and I always tried to get our hands on her. If we were in her office, in private, we liked to tease her. Touching her thighs, her neck. God she loved when we touch her neck; just below her ear it makes her mewl and melt between us like goo. I was getting hard just thinking about her; better yet, I’m always hard. Like she was permanently in my veins.
“Dude, you can’t go in the meeting like that.” Logan gestured to my obvious hard on, against my leg straining my pants.
“Right.”
I stood up and sat back at my desk. The numbers and terms on business plans always bore me to death, and effectively make my erection disappear.
“When do we look for another PR director?” I asked him. “I mean, who is going to look through all those resumes?”
He shrugged in response. “I don’t know. I can delegate it, but I think I want to see for myself. Maybe after the meeting with Madeline”
I scoffed. “I had other plans after the meeting. Preferably with Madeline.” I smirked. He tried to hold a straight face but he smiled too.
“Do you think she likes us?” I asked him with a heavy sigh.
“You sound like a co-ed.”
“You know what I mean,” I rolled my eyes. “What does she think of us? Is she just having fun? We’re both falling for her.” I arched my brow, and I knew I was right.
“I don’t know. Maybe that’s a conversation we should have. Right now we have to get going.”
He stood up and tried to smooth his shirt out. I was surprised he wasn’t even in a full suit. He always looked so hard and serious. I was starting to think Madeline had an effect on him. She was doing the same to me too. Though I always had an easy-going personality, she was making me see beyond a hook up or one night in bed. I wanted more with her, with us.
It wasn’t conventional to some people but I knew it was just what I wanted. But how would I even begin to tell her that? Surprise, surprise; I’m not good with emotions at all.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
I took what I needed, which was just my phone, and headed to the conference room with Logan. Except, Madeline wasn’t there. I saw Dan, the head of marketing with the presentation, but Madeline wasn’t there.
“Should we wait?” I asked Logan. He shrugged.
“Where is she?” Logan asked.
“I don’t know. But she shouldn’t be missing meetings.” I shook my head with a frown.
“Uh, should we reschedule?” Dan asked. He probably wanted to get home to his wife and kids. He was a classic family guy.
“Yeah. Fine.”
I stormed out and went into my office as Logan followed.
“I can’t believe she missed this meeting. Didn’t she know how important it was?” I paced around the room.
“Yeah, she did. I guess something could have come up.” Logan defended. My temper was a lot shorter than his, and so was my rational.
“Like what?” I tried not to shout, but I was pissed.
I don’t like when people miss meetings, or don’t call when or if in fact, something does come up. This was the second time she ran off and disappeared.
“It’s finals week. Students get really stressed during this time.”
I rolled my eyes as I scoffed. “Bullshit. I’m sick of that. Lots of students have jobs and balance school.”
I groaned and sat on the couch, wringing my hands out. Logan sat down as well.
“Well, they may not be sleeping with both their bosses, too.” He said.
I sighed as it all shifted into place. Madeline had a lot on her plate, and we definitely added to that.
“Shit.” I breathed.
“Yeah…and we haven’t exactly been up and coming gentlemen.” Logan added. I nodded in agreement. “And we want to be, right?”
I scratched my jaw as I thought. Madeline was special, and she does mean something to me. To us.
“Right.”
“Okay then. I should call her.” He took his phone o
ut and dialed her.
She answered near the end, and he put her on speaker.
“Madeline.” We said at the same time, and it was a little weird. I could hear her breathing on the other end.
“Yes?” I could hear tears in her voice. Maybe something did happen.
“You know you missed the meeting today, right?”
She feigned a gasp. “I…I’m so sorry I was studying. I had so much to catch up on. I’m—really sorry.” She inhaled sharply. Why was she trying to hold back tears so hard?
“It’s…it’s fine.” I said.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. But you need to come in tomorrow morning, is that okay?”
“I can be there around noon, I have two exams before.”
I shrugged. Maybe she was really stressed out. I had no idea, and neither did I ever ask.
“Of course. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye Madeline.” I said. And she hung up.
“We should do something for her. Her finals are tomorrow and then she is graduating soon.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “and find a new PR director.”
19
Madeline
I let their voice ring through my ears over and over. It soothed and comforted me in so many ways. As I cried my eyes out I let rationality find me again. I had no real proof they wanted to buy me out, as plausible as it sounded I didn’t know for sure. And I was still hung up on not knowing how they felt about me.
When Logan called I was relieved, and hearing both their voices wrapped me in a vice. I fell hard for them and I didn’t know how to tell them. But I knew I had to. Eventually.
What I really needed to do was focus on the essays I am submitting tomorrow. I had to do it in person, so it wouldn’t take long but I still wanted time to recuperate before the meeting. I had to be professional, and I saw everything flash before me before they called. I couldn’t lose a good career over my loose reaction time.
Sarai came in my room later that night to check on me.
“How are you doing?” She sat by my bed, and she brought ice cream. It was a miracle.
