“Vindictive.”
“Of course, but how vindictive?”
“You think enough to poison homeless people?”
“I’m thinking all kinds of things right now.”
“And you’re driving yourself crazy in the process.”
“I’m not crazy,” she snapped.
“You know that’s not what I’m saying.”
“Whoever wrote those notes threatened to hurt me or those I loved.”
“I know. I still have copies, and I’ve reread them a few times myself.” The paper and print had both been impossible to trace because they were so common. Sean knew how frustrated Tess had been when the police gave up searching for Tanner’s killer. Some of the officers had even suggested that Tess was imagining the attack, despite the solid evidence of tire rubber on the asphalt. As one officer had pointed out, that could have been done at any time.
“Something about the wording leads me to believe the writer was female,” Sean said.
Tess slowly raised her gaze to his. “You really are still on the case.”
Sean didn’t mention that her ex-cop brother was, as well. “Someone did die, Tess. Nothing’s happened since. Whoever wanted to get revenge on you got it with Tanner’s death.”
“So you’re saying I’m being unreasonable to think that same someone might try again.”
“I’m saying you need to stop torturing yourself.”
“What do you mean?”
“With guilt. You’ve been overwhelmed with it all these months.”
“He was crossing the street to see me when he was hit. I’m going to feel some guilt about that, Sean. It’s a human emotion.”
“You weren’t the driver.”
She rubbed her neck and turned away. “It wouldn’t be hard for someone to track me down with my last name matching the name of this mission, and someone did try to break down my door last night. You heard the noise yourself.”
Sean had known she’d been more shaken up by that intruder than she would admit to him. He’d thought she was doing better, and he had told Gerard to keep watch on the house last night.
Not only did Gerard have thoroughly vetted help on his small ranch, but he had a state-of-the-art alarm system and two protective Dobermans who lived indoors, adored Tess and would never let a stranger close to her. Romper, the male, would barely even let Sean close when he drove out to the house for a visit, though both dogs were affectionate with him, as well.
He put an arm around her and walked her farther from the clinic entrance and into the larger rooms toward the back. “There’s no reason to think a simple outbreak of food poisoning could have anything to do with Tanner’s death. It wouldn’t match the M.O. Poison would be a whole new profile.”
“Not necessarily. Didn’t you once tell me that sometimes a killer simply uses whatever’s at hand?”
Sean paused. “You know what we’ve discussed about Tanner’s reputation before,” he said quietly.
She gave him a querulous look.
“He was a rising country music star,” Sean said. “He had the bad-boy persona. You told me yourself that before the two of you became an item, he left a trail of broken hearts. That’s why you kept your engagement quiet. He also got into a few fistfights at some late-night establishments.”
“Staged. I told him not to do that, but he wanted that kind of publicity.”
“The multiple romances—often at one time—weren’t staged, were they?”
“You think he might have dated a killer?”
“At least he finally had the sense to know a good woman when he saw her,” Sean said, rubbing his knuckles over her cheek. “You’re an amazing woman, Tess.”
She swallowed daintily and looked up at him, her olive complexion deepening a shade. She didn’t say anything, just looked at him.
A woman walked past them toward the connecting secondhand store and drop-off facility, and the moment was gone.
Sean straightened. “But Tanner also aligned himself with unsavory people of both sexes, if you ask me.”
“Been reading the rags?”
“Let’s just say I did a few background checks.”
“While I was engaged to Tanner?”
He nodded. For a moment, he couldn’t bring himself to reveal what he’d discovered.
She tilted her head, obviously intrigued. “You never told me this stuff.”
“You weren’t the one who made enemies—he was.”
“The crime wasn’t solved, Sean.”
“An entertainer doesn’t behave the way he did without making enemies. You’re not being fair to yourself. I don’t like to accuse a man who isn’t here to defend himself, and I certainly don’t want to hurt you, Tess, but Tanner lived a self-indulgent life and he didn’t give two cents for who he hurt.”
“He cared about me.”
“His actions didn’t back up his words or the ring he put on your finger.”
“You’re saying he dated another woman when he was engaged to me?”
For some reason, she didn’t sound surprised. Had she guessed? She also didn’t sound devastated. “Women. Plural.” Sean studied her expression, confused. “I’m sorry, Gerard and I had decided not to burden you with some of the information we dug up about him, but in my opinion, the guilt is proving to be more destructive to you than a broken heart.”
But he saw no signs of a broken heart. What he saw was a brief whisper of, what—simple sadness?
“There’s no danger of that,” she said, confirming his suspicion. Intriguing.
More people walked past them. The drop-off and the store were getting busier.
“Want to go upstairs?” Sean asked. “Maybe we should discuss this further.”
“Megan needs help.”
“She has a very efficient nurse, two more techs just walked in to help Mamie, and you brought her the supplies she needs. I’m not saying there is any more danger from Tanner’s killer, but if there is we should see if we can get to the bottom of it.” Or at least divert her attention from the break-in and dial down the stress a few notches.
Tess hesitated, then sighed and nodded. “Don’t you dare tell Gerard I’m doing this.”
“Doing what? Struggling because you see people suffering?”
“Don’t tell him I’m being paranoid. Again.”
At least she was admitting it. Sean pulled two keys from his pocket, gave Tess one and used the other to unlock the door to the administration offices. “Changed the locks myself at first light this morning.”
She took hers from him, took his hand, looked up at him. “Thank you, Sean. How can you be so many places at once?” Her voice was suddenly soft, tremulous. Some light had returned to her eyes.
“Believe me, I wish I could be.”
“You’re always there when I need you. You always have been.”
His skin felt the warmth of her skin, and he couldn’t resist losing himself, for just a moment, in that vulnerable, dark gaze. “Ever think that’s a touch from God?” he asked.
She smiled, then nodded. “I think that’s exactly what it is.”
It seemed an appropriate time to reassure her. He pressed a light kiss on the top of her head. “Don’t want to miss my calling.”
Her smile widened. She pulled out her key ring. As they went up the steps, she switched the new key for the old one on her ring, and Sean watched her steps for her. He was being overprotective, and he knew it. She’d pick up on it soon if she hadn’t already, but doggone it if she hadn’t settled over his heart like moist, rich chocolate frosting on a dried-up cake.
He unlocked his door and drew her inside. His office was the largest in Admin, with extra chairs. This was where they held their meetings, and this was where he or Gerard interviewed potential employees. Gerard also insisted on background checks on those volunteers who might be working with the homeless for a long period of time. He was protective of his people, and he’d grown especially so since Tanner’s death. Sean suspected tha
t Gerard also worried that there might be another attempt to hurt Tess.
“Have you heard anything about the straw and manure we found last night?” Tess asked.
“Yep. At first glance they decided it was straw, manure and mud. Sorry. Hard to be any more specific yet, but it’s most likely from a nearby barn lot. They’re running more tests at my request.”
“Did Megan send out any blood and stool samples yet?”
“She did. Mamie had Joni take some of them to the lab to get started,” Sean told her. “They’ll check for Norwalk virus and rotavirus since there are sick children—and salmonella, Shigella, and E-coli, as well as the usual intestinal parasites. Those are all the scientific words I can remember.”
“What about the food?”
“Volunteers are scouring through the stores of food we have right now.” As he talked, he was aware of the warmth of her beside him, the smell of her hair, and his hands still felt the touch of hers.
“They won’t find anything off in our kitchen. No one will,” Tess said.
“All seems fresh so far. Dates are good, freezers have worked perfectly, and if anything, the cooks overcook the food. The stomach pains seem to have hit the Hispanics harder for some reason.”
“You think this might be a racial thing?”
“Megan doesn’t see a reason for racial profiling. There just happened to be more Hispanic people in the line yesterday and Monday because Angel and Sandra did a great job of bringing in their church members to help, and word spread in their community.”
“I called Gerard on my way here and left a message,” Tess said. “None of this makes sense, though. If it isn’t a virus, and we’re sure it isn’t our food, then what?”
Sean allowed the silence to return as he watched Tess nibble at her lower lip. She was really obsessing over this. “Tess, we can’t go around second-guessing every action we take simply because we might accidentally make it convenient for some psychopath to commit murder.”
She sighed, resting her chin in her cupped hands.
“Just don’t jump to any conclusions yet, okay?” Sean bumped shoulders with her. “Hey. Okay?”
She leaned back, as if to leave some space between them. “A psychopath did kill Tanner, but that psychopath also sent the threatening notes to me, not to him.”
“You showed them to the police, to us, to Tanner. You’re off the hook completely.”
Tess held Sean’s gaze, looked down at her hands. “Remember last Christmas? When Mom and Dad took that cruise on the Mediterranean, and the rest of us came to Gerard’s for Christmas dinner?”
Sean hesitated. That was a sudden and uncomfortable change of subject. “Not willingly.”
“I’m sorry. I promise I don’t mean to bring up bad memories, I’m just trying to make a point.”
Sean took a deep breath and braced himself. He had brought a date—a sales rep from Houston—simply because he had known Tess would be there with Tanner, and he was a little too sensitive about that. His date turned out to be the biggest mistake of his life. If only he’d never met Kari Ann. He’d allowed things to go way too far. They’d used no protection. He didn’t find out she was pregnant until she’d already decided to abort.
Tess placed a hand on Sean’s arm. She was no longer ice-cold. “Kari Ann made her choices, too. You tried to stop her. I was here, remember? I saw how hard you tried.”
He took another slow, deep breath to control the fury-riddled frustration at the situation he’d helped create—and the grief over the abortion of his offspring. He’d have gladly raised his baby alone, if only Kari Ann had been willing to bring that helpless, beloved child to term.
All that rage and pain had brought him to his knees and to Christ, with Gerard’s support.
But today, Tess was the one in need of strength.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “What were you going to tell me about last Christmas?”
“Only that something changed in me during those days. I realized that I’d left my faith behind when I left my family and went out to make my own life.”
“You were always ethical.”
“Oh, I always tried hard to be ethical in my business dealings, but I made my own plans without seeking God’s plans for me.”
“You’re talking about Tanner?”
She nodded. “Somewhere along the way, God stopped being my reason for living, and Tanner turned my head—much like he did all his female fans. I mean, the man had the looks, the personality and the moves, you know?”
“Um, not really.”
“Okay, no, you wouldn’t. But that voice alone could melt a person.”
Sean felt suddenly restless. He did not want to think about the effect Tanner had on Tess.
“But when I spent time at the mission last Christmas,” she continued, “I saw what Gerard and Hans were doing. It made an impact. I slowly began to realize I was missing it all, and that my relationship with Tanner Jackson might not be the right one for me.”
“But you continued your engagement.” That, too, had been frustrating to Sean, especially after he realized, just watching Tess with Tanner that week during Christmas at the Vance ranch, that the two didn’t belong together.
She hadn’t realized Tanner’s depraved mind, his selfish disregard for anyone who didn’t serve his needs. Tanner hadn’t understood—if he cared at all—the kind of man Tess needed in her life. It simply was not him.
“It’s one thing to make a life-changing discovery about yourself,” she said, “but it’s another thing altogether to break it off with the person you’ve been planning to spend your life with.”
“You need to learn to listen to your heart.”
“I continued to believe we could make it work, despite the rumors and some of the sly innuendoes on gossip TV and trash magazines. I talked to him about my faith and how it had been reaffirmed, how I had finally realized that serving God wasn’t just following a set of rules, but knowing Him and putting Him first.”
“And?”
“He didn’t like the change in me.”
“So he was jealous of God?”
Tess shrugged. “You could put it that way, I guess. We pushed each other further and further away.” She nibbled again on her lower lip. “He’d never been the person I tried to convince myself he was.”
“You always like to believe the best about people.” It was one of the things Sean loved about her.
“But here’s the crux of the matter, Sean,” Tess said. She leaned forward. “The night he died, I’d called him to come over. I had the ring in its original box, ready to give to him.”
“What? You mean…you’re saying you were breaking the engagement?” All Sean’s memories of that time suddenly shifted sideways in an effort to contain this new information.
“Yes. I couldn’t keep it up. I was holding the ring in my hand when I heard the gunning of an engine outside and then the squeal of rubber on the street.” She closed her eyes.
“You don’t have to relive it. I have everything memorized.” She hadn’t loved Tanner when he died. She was blaming herself for that?
She looked up at Sean sadly. “I still have nightmares about running out the door and seeing that car disappearing around the corner two blocks away. I still dream about the blood.”
Sean was reaching out to cover her hands with his when his telephone rang. He glanced at Tess, pressed the speaker button and answered.
“This is Dr. Bradley,” came a shaky voice over the speaker. “We’ve been coding Stud. He’s asystole. Ambulance is on its way.”
“Flatline!” Tess jumped up.
“We couldn’t get him to respond to shock,” Megan said.
Tess grabbed Sean’s hands. “He’s dying.”
Sean caught her as she fell.
THREE
Tess floated through a dark tunnel, aware of nothing but the sound of a man’s voice shouting in the far distance. She couldn’t understand what he was saying and didn’t know why he was shouti
ng. Was it a warning? Or was he angry?
He fell silent, and she drifted until something cold and wet dripped onto her face. Then she felt herself being lifted.
Sounds finally smacked through her ears again: the thud of footsteps, hard breathing, other voices, doors opening and closing.
“Tess? Honey, wake up now. You’re scaring me. Please open your eyes.” It was Sean’s deep voice, directly above her.
Light slid beneath her eyes, and she squinted up to find Sean carrying her into the clinic.
“Tess,” he breathed. “Thank goodness.” He laid her on a cot at the far end of the room from where paramedics and Megan stood around a supine man.
“I’m wet,” Tess said.
Sean brushed her hair from her eyes, standing between Tess and the crowd around the cot across the clinic, where privacy curtains had been pushed back. “I splashed water on you to wake you.”
“Stud?” She remembered.
Sean hesitated. “He didn’t make it. Megan called medical control to see if they need to take his body to the hospital or have him taken to the morgue.”
Megan rushed from the crowd to Tess’s cot. “Tess Vance, when’s the last time you ate anything?”
“About midnight.”
Without pulling a curtain, Megan pressed her stethoscope over Tess’s chest.
Tess breathed for her. “You okay?”
“Hush and let me listen.”
“Your eyes are red, and your face is white as—”
“Tess.” Firmly.
“Megan, relax. I was shocked to hear about Stud. That’s all.”
“Heart and breathing sound okay, despite the fact that you’ve suddenly turned into a chatterbox. I’ll check your blood sugar.”
“You don’t have to do—”
Sean touched her shoulder. “Be good and listen to the doctor.”
Megan pricked Tess’s finger and read the number on the glucometer. “Seventy-nine. Not low. You fainted over the death of someone you don’t know very well.”
“PTSD, okay? I faint easily. Look, you already have your hands full, and you don’t need me complicating matters.” Tess glanced at Sean. At least he wasn’t offering any unsolicited information the way Gerard would do if he were here.
Season of Danger: Silent Night, Deadly NightMistletoe Mayhem Page 3
