“But this is personal against you. Wasn’t he at least worried about you?”
“I began to wonder the same thing.”
“How were the notes delivered?”
“Different places at different times. After the first note, which was slipped under my door at home, I had security cameras placed in my home and office. The second one was under my windshield wiper when I came out of the grocery store one Saturday.”
Megan sucked in a hiss. “Someone stalked you.”
“Which is what still frightens me. People come into the mission all day long. I wouldn’t know if someone was stalking me.”
“Did you get police protection?”
“They drove by my house more often at night, checked on me at work, but they couldn’t do much.”
“So Gerard moved in with you. That’s when he was gone so much. I remember he had some local pastors help out in his absence.”
“Gerard hung around a lot after the second note. When he didn’t, either Hans or Sean took turns flying up to sit in my office, chauffeur me and sleep on my sofa.”
“And Tanner? Didn’t he ever do anything to protect you?”
“No, and that was what killed the engagement for me. Plus he hated my so-called ‘missionary’ views on physical relations before marriage.”
“So, you weren’t engaged to him when he was killed?”
“I was planning to break the engagement the night he was killed.”
“That’s what Sean meant about your guilty feelings. But he’s right, you know. You can’t control the world.”
“I had my car in the shop for a week and had just gotten it back a couple of days before. When my brothers weren’t around to chauffeur me, I drove Tanner’s car, because he was on a tour bus. The night Tanner was run down, it was raining, and he was wearing a hooded jacket. Tanner and I were practically the same height. He was five-ten, I’m five-eight. Someone could easily have mistaken him for me.”
“Despite all his faults, it’s sad to see his life end so early.”
Tess studied Megan’s expression. “You sound as if you knew Tanner.”
“We attended the same university in Columbia, Missouri.”
“Aha! So I’m not the only one keeping secrets.”
“He just didn’t rate a mention.”
“I always told myself that without the constant confusion of his parents’ divorce and his high-profile life, Tanner Jackson was really just a sweet country boy.”
Megan’s gaze darted away. “Sorry, Tess. I didn’t know him when he lived on the farm.”
“And?”
“All I ever saw was a spoiled brat who once threw a fit when he was given the wrong sports car on his twenty-first birthday.”
That sounded like the Tanner whom Tess had finally discovered beneath the facade. “Tanner threw a fit when he found out Sean was spending time with me, in spite of the fact I was receiving threats. Why didn’t I see it sooner?”
“Oh, he could turn on all that Jackson charm, believe me.” Megan leaned forward. “Face it, real men like the Vance men and Sean Torrance are rare as dinosaur eggs. I think they’re the last of their breed.”
“True.”
“Gerard told me you worked at a nearby packing house for two years to pay for your first car when you were in high school,” Megan said. “No taint of spoiled brat in you. What did you do when Tanner got mad about Sean?”
“I backed down, told the men I could take care of myself—fought mightily with all three of my protectors over it—and lost the fight. That was when Sean started helping out here from time to time, so Gerard could spend more time with me.”
Megan gave a perceptive nod. “Tanner saw it.”
“Saw what?”
Megan’s eyes looked tired, but for a moment they glowed with humor. “Sorry to interrupt. Continue.”
“It was also when I bought some mace. The day he was killed I’d received another note, this one taped to the door of my office. The security video showed only a slight figure in black in the wee morning hours. Couldn’t even tell if it was male or female.” She gestured to the final note Megan held.
Megan glanced at the two lines. “‘You destroyed my life. Turnabout is fair play.’”
“Sean thinks a woman wrote these. The police and Gerard weren’t sure.”
“It really does read like the words of a jilted woman, Tess.”
“You mean, a woman saying that if she couldn’t have him, no one would? We all considered the same thing, but if that was the case, why didn’t she ever warn me to stay away from Tanner? Ironically, since Tanner was coming to the house that night, Gerard flew home that day to take care of some things, so no one else was with me.”
Megan leaned her elbows on the desk, her face going pale. “Maybe your stalker was watching for anyone—maybe the first vulnerable prospect? She could have gotten Gerard?”
“I thought about that, but Gerard’s too intuitive. I don’t think he would have been caught like that.” Tess smiled. “Though it’s nice that you care so much.”
“That happened in March. Why do you still feel as if you’re in danger?”
“We had a trespasser up here late last night. It’s the first time I’ve gotten my mace out since I came here.” Tess described it.
“Gerard hasn’t harassed you about using deadlier protection?” Megan asked.
“You mean a gun?”
“Can you shoot?”
“I used to compete with Gerard, until he joined the police force. I just know I wouldn’t be able to use a gun against anyone.”
“Not even if your life was threatened?”
“A gun’s not a lot of good against a speeding car coming at you out of nowhere.”
Megan reached beneath her lab coat. “It’s not much good against illness, either.” She pulled out a powerful .357 Magnum, short barrel, which fit in her hand. “This thing shoots like a dream, you know. Gerard made me start carrying. Especially when I’m with you.”
A trickle of goose bumps climbed Tess’s spine. “Gerard did that?”
“Last March. Didn’t tell me why.”
Tess closed her eyes and sighed. “You have a license to carry?”
“I do now. He’s more worried about you than you think. I know you two are always trying to keep secrets from each other, but he’s constantly watching out for you. So is Sean.”
“I don’t think I’m safe for my family and friends to be around.”
“I think they can take care of themselves.” Megan tapped her finger on her weapon. “I’m a pretty good shot. And Sean would die for you. You know that, don’t you?”
Tess slumped against the window sill. Sean. She closed her eyes.
“I’m beginning to wonder why you were really going to break your engagement,” Megan said. “If it was simply because you figured out Tanner was a jerk or if you realized you’d actually loved someone else all along.”
Tess didn’t meet Megan’s gaze, because Megan was good at reading her by looking her in the eyes.
“Tanner could turn heads,” Megan continued. “Sean, on the other hand, proved he was willing to put his life on the line for a woman engaged to another man.”
“Because I was Gerard’s sister. A friend. He’s an ex-cop, Megan.”
Megan shook her head. “You should’ve seen the fear in his eyes when he carried you downstairs this morning. I mean, I always saw the way he looked at you…actually, the way you two look at each other.”
Tess attempted to stop the grin that insisted on spreading across her face. Didn’t work.
Megan returned the grin. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
“You’re turning into a romantic.”
“There was terror in his eyes when he laid you on that cot down there. Panic when he beckoned me to come to you and such relief when you sat up on your own.”
“Sean’s off limits for me.”
“Why?”
“I thought I loved Tanner. I was crazy about
him, until I wasn’t.”
“All that charisma can be overwhelming, even for a woman of your substance and discernment. You know Sean and have known him for years. Huge difference there.” Megan sighed as she replaced her pistol in its holster. “If you’d told me you were dating Tanner, I could have saved you a lot of time. As for Sean—”
“Don’t you get tired of carrying that around?” Tess asked.
“You mean my excellent insight into men? Never.”
“Your gun.”
“As Gerard told me, I’d feel worse if someone threatened one of my patients and I had no way to protect them. This is not the safest part of town, even without your worries about Tanner’s killer.”
Tess’s phone buzzed. It was Gerard calling to let them know the morgue van had arrived for Stud’s body.
“You stay up here until we get him loaded, Tess.” Megan pressed her hand against Tess’s shoulder. “You’ve had enough excitement for the morning. Try not to worry.”
“I’ll be fine, lots of work. I’ll call Mamie and Joni to assist.”
“Gerard wanted you to take a break with Sean.”
“This is one time my big brother won’t get what he wants.”
Megan rolled her eyes as she turned to walk from the office. “When will you learn?”
When Megan emerged from the admin stairwell alone, Sean caught the door and went through it and up the stairs. He found Tess standing at the window near the very spot where she’d picked up the straw last night. She was staring out over the street below, and he caught a glimpse of her profile. So sad. Still so vulnerable. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and take her far away from here. But she was Tess. She thought she was strong and tough and independent, and he had to help her keep up that image, until she decided otherwise.
And yet, who was he to be her knight in shining armor? He wasn’t even able to save his own child.
“Hey.” He didn’t want to startle her.
She turned. When she saw him, the sadness seemed to retreat. “Did I ever thank you for watching out for me after the second note?”
“You told Megan everything?”
She nodded, pushing her wavy, black hair from her neck as she turned and walked toward him. She had a stride that could enchant an army. “I did thank you, right?”
“You treated all of us to a three-hundred-dollar meal and offered to buy us all cars.”
She laughed. He loved to see her laugh.
“Do you mind if I ask you something extremely personal?” she asked. “About what?”
“Kari Ann.”
Whoa. Nothing like getting to the point. “You can ask if you keep in mind that she was before—”
“I’m not playing the blame game, you know. And yes, I know Kari Ann happened before you finally listened to Gerard’s preaching.”
“Actually, that whole nightmare was why I finally did listen. And you never play the blame game. It’s one of the…” He paused. This wasn’t the time.
She raised her eyebrows.
He shook his head. He’d been about to say that it was one of the things he loved about her. One of the many, many things. “Ask away.”
“Did you love her?”
The question didn’t surprise him—leave it to Tess. It did disturb him, though. Now it was his turn to look out the window, but he didn’t see the street or the small glimpse of the bay he could catch from here.
He saw the ugliness of his heart. He hadn’t realized at the time that he was using Kari Ann to take his mind off Tess. He didn’t deserve Tess. She deserved better.
“For a while, I convinced myself that, in time, I might learn to love her.” How lame it sounded now.
“You stopped seeing her in early March.”
Sean nodded.
“Did your duties guarding me cause problems between you?”
“Are you asking if Kari Ann was jealous? She always was, but I didn’t tell her I was guarding you. We were keeping the whole thing quiet, remember?”
“Why did you stop seeing her?”
“Because I realized I would never love her the way…” He looked at Tess, and wanted to devour her dark-eyed beauty with his gaze. “The way a woman deserves to be loved.” The way he had come to care for Tess after spending so much time with her, watching over her, driving her all over the city to meetings, lying awake on her sofa, wishing things were different between them. Wishing she wasn’t in danger.
And yet, that time they’d spent together had solidified the powerful attraction he’d felt for so many years into honest, painful love. Painful for him, anyway.
“I can be a dunce with some things,” Tess said.
“What things?”
“Relationships. Romance. Love.”
“I don’t think any of us really get it. I obviously didn’t.”
“I see a few happily married couples at church,” Tess said. “Not all, but quite a few. My parents were happy. Hans and Linda were happy for twenty years. He still grieves her death. My choices haven’t always been that great.”
“How so?”
“You really think Tanner was such a prince?”
“He slipped into a different character when he was with you and let it drop when you were gone. Gerard did a slow burn for months.”
“He did? He never said anything to me about that.”
“I think your brother trusted you enough to figure things out for yourself. You were my example, Tess. Instead of jumping into a physical relationship with Tanner, you gave yourself time to discover what he was like, and you made the right decision. Very wise, Tess. Exactly what I would expect from you.”
She perched on the window ledge and looked up at him. “You really do know how to make a girl feel better.”
“Yeah, well, how are you supposed to see a person’s identity when a guy hides that identity beneath charm?”
“You don’t do that.”
“What? You’re saying I don’t have charm?”
“You’re just you, and that doesn’t require extra charm.”
He gave her a slow smile. “I think that was a compliment.”
“Of the highest caliber.”
What was it about this woman that could make him weak as a kitten in her presence? Or make him feel drunk on the finest wine? He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her until he could no longer breathe.
She pushed away from the window sill and strolled along the hallway. “I used to think I could read people.”
“So did I.” He followed her. “With some people, I just know they are trustworthy. When Gerard and I were first partners in the police force, he was outspoken, what he said made sense, and he had follow-through. He proved himself to me.”
“Well, okay, but this is my superhuman brother we’re talking about. What about others?”
“You mean like you? Oh, yeah, I instinctively trusted you the moment I met you.”
“Why?”
“You have a steady gaze, a firm handshake.” Sean grinned at her. “You want me to help find you a man as trustworthy and true as your brother?”
Tess blinked up at him, and he felt the impact of her sudden attention on him. Her mysterious gaze traveled across the width of his shoulders and then rested on his face, his mouth.
He glanced out the window again, toward that small section of the bay. “Want to go on a walk? You’ve been working too hard, and Megan’s worried about you.”
“The whole world is worried about me lately.”
“We could drive to the beach and feed the birds. You always love that.”
“I don’t know.” She narrowed her eyes as if seriously concerned. “Are you still packing heat?”
“Always.”
A grimace. “When will I be able to walk outside these doors without someone having to protect me? I mean, really, even on a girls’ day out?”
“I’m…uh…not a girl, and I’m not suggesting we shop for makeup or dresses.”
“Sorry, I was thinking of a cute li
ttle .357 Megan carries.”
“Come on, let’s get out of the neighborhood for a while. Doctor’s orders.”
“And you know how well I take orders.”
“Okay, doctor’s urgent plea.”
Tess paused and looked up at him. Her gaze softened. She reached up and brushed her fingers through his hair, let them trail down the side of his face to his chin while he tried hard to breathe normally.
“Okay,” she said, dropping her hand away.
His breathing came easier, but he’d much rather feel her touch than have oxygen. It seemed to him that both were equally vital.
FIVE
Tess felt the tension ease from her neck muscles. She gazed out at the sun-rippled water as Sean turned his red Chevy truck onto a seashell drive and parked near the water. From here they overlooked Laguna Madre of the Intracoastal Waterway. No waves, only seabirds and an occasional fish. From where Sean parked, they could see no other people, no other cars, only ocean craft on the water. Tess knew he’d done that on purpose.
“Sixty degrees, faint gulf breeze,” Sean said as he slid from the truck. “Hard to believe it dropped to thirty one night.”
Tess had learned to wait for him to open the door for her when he was guarding her in Austin. By the time he had her door open, she had her shoes off and the wide legs of her jeans rolled up above her knees.
“Wish I’d brought shorts,” she said.
“I said sixty, not eighty.”
“Yeah, but the sunshine says at least seventy-five. Perfect weather.” She slid from the seat and dug her bare feet into the rough sand, releasing more of her tension. “Better yet, I wish I’d brought my swimsuit. At least the walk will toughen up my feet.”
Sean chuckled.
“I love the scent of the gulf.” She strolled out to the edge of the water. A boat raced by, too far away for her to see the people onboard.
This was one of her favorite places, not a long drive from the mission, so on those stressful days when she just had to get some fresh air, she could usually depend on this isolated stretch of beach being unpopulated.
Sean received a call on his cell while she walked slowly, digging her toes in the sand, trying not to eavesdrop. But there was nothing to hear. All he said was, “Yes. I see. Nothing at this point. Thank you.”
Season of Danger: Silent Night, Deadly NightMistletoe Mayhem Page 5
