She had given him purpose again. After centuries of his own kind of hell, something inside of him was reaching out for this woman who had truly suffered. Her pain was her own. He knew he could ease her life, protect her.
He had limitations during the sunlight hours, but the nighttime was his. It was his world, in all its dark and ugly colors. He knew how to walk through it, how to live in it. If this threat she feared should come looking for her again, none would live. That was his silent vow to her.
Except for that softest caress of her skin, he had not tasted her, yet he knew her scent, her voice, her thoughts, and it seemed to grow only stronger with each touch of his mind to hers. She thought he only knew her thoughts when she actually spoke to him, but since the first musical sound of her on his soul, he had been no less than a shadow to her own musings.
“Dude,” Nathan said with a low growl of warning, now at his side.
Joaquin gave his attention to the younger man.
Meaning snapped in his eyes. “Hurt her and you’re dead.”
“I’ve already heard that warning,” he mused, not at all offended. “I mean her no harm whatsoever.”
Nathan tipped his head in the pugnacious way that the youth of this time seemed to understand. “Just don’t forget it.” He walked up the stairs and Joaquin followed until he paused at a door in the hallway. “We all have rooms,” he said as he opened the door. Joaquin walked in and Nathan shut the door behind them, leaning against it. “I guess you’ve figured out we don’t use them.”
“I wasn’t sure. There is a hollow beneath the house.” He mentioned it offhandedly, not expecting anything other than what he knew he’d hear.
“That’s Diego’s lair. Trust me, you don’t want to mess with him. I think he’d defy the sun itself if something threatened the girls. Anything less doesn’t stand a chance.”
He looked at the younger man who stood with his arms crossed, staring coolly. He never looked away. “How do they not know?” he asked, knowing what he inferred wouldn’t be misinterpreted. It was one of the questions that wouldn’t leave him.
Nathan shrugged. “The girls were a wreck. It took them weeks to even understand they were free. I don’t think they would even really care, to be honest. They’ve all seen real monsters. We’re tame in so many ways in comparison. Houston and Laney know. Don’t mess with him either. He bites, and not in any way you’d like.” Nathan flashed him a laughing grin, the one he’d seen downstairs. “He plays hard too.”
“None of you use the humans?” A raw stillness sank into the room. That was the question he had to know. The wrong answer and he’d take Lily away without a single bone of remorse.
“None. We all leave to feed. Diego takes care of Tani. Just remember,” Nathan said, laying the ground rules with a firm note. “No fun stuff where they can see you. Always scan ahead before popping in somewhere. The girls are getting used to their situation, but don’t take it for granted. They still have nightmares and spook easily. No walking through walls or changing shape near the house. The grounds are safeguarded for about five miles in all directions, but Diego let you in, so they won’t affect you.”
“He has that kind of power?” Joaquin asked. Was that the barrier he had encountered at the cabin? Was that how they had managed to slip away, undetected by the invading forces, because they hadn’t been able to get any closer because of Diego’s strengths? The possibility of that much power in one being was boggling. The reality was almost frightening because, if he’d really wanted to, Diego could have killed him without lifting a finger in effort.
Nathan snorted. “Dude, you don’t ever want to see the kind of power that man has. Let’s just say, it’s a good thing he’s on our side.”
Joaquin wasn’t surprised to hear that. Nathan only confirmed it. He had a feeling what he’d seen the night before was only a fraction of what Diego was capable of. “I appreciate your help.”
Nathan turned and reached for the door, pausing to look over his shoulder. He shook his head. “Dude, I’m not doing it for you. Lily would fall apart if Diego had to destroy you. Whatever happened, meeting you has done something to her. She’s stronger. I can tell. She won’t let anyone touch her, but she reached out to you. And she smiled. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile.”
A moment later, Nathan left him alone in the room to…what?
Only time would tell him if he’d made the right decision to listen to an angel’s voice. What he didn’t know was if this angel would lead him to his redemption, the one he truly needed, or to his own personal Hell.
Chapter Six
Leaving his room to begin his nightly routine, Joaquin paused in the well lit upstairs hallway, right outside the half opened door to Tabitha’s room. Lily’s clear voice drifted to him as she read ceaselessly to her friend. Just as she had every night since he’d first heard her voice. Her voice wasn’t musical or light. There was strength and depth in her tone, feminine but firm, a rich sound that embraced the listener. He fell under her magic charm nightly. It still caught him by surprise the same as when he’d heard her the first time, the way he felt himself become, for no better description, spellbound. She would read for hours. It didn’t matter the book, or the words. It didn’t matter if the woman lying in the bed didn’t move. Lily read. Every night.
Catching every word, he could listen for as long as she would read. Lily was dedicated to Tabitha’s recovery, and her voice was one of the sweetest sounds he had ever heard. Tonight, she was reading Shakespeare. He leaned against the doorframe on a shoulder, not intruding to listen.
Diego, Titania, and Nathan had left only two nights before searching for Tenorio, hunting to remove the chance of any more attacks like the one at the cabin. His acceptance had come the night Nathan had explained the tracking and the embedded chip, but it was with only a very thin line of trust from Diego that he remained in the house. There was a grudging consent to leaving Joaquin behind in their place, and he had received his fair share of warnings before they had departed. Understanding the birth of their mistrust, he didn’t take offense. He would have likely done the same in Diego’s place. His protectiveness toward those in this house was genuine. In that, he and Diego were the same.
Joaquin woke every night as he had for centuries, except now, he awakened aware he’d been given a second chance at deliverance for his mistakes so long ago with Angelica. His purpose was clear now after he’d spent a few nights in her company. Lily must be kept safe. No matter how difficult or impossible the task seemed, it was his purpose now. Where he’d failed before, this time, there was no room for it.
The bitterness he should have felt was cold and faint when he thought of his long lost wife. He’d suffered for long, soul-numbing months after the wreck of the Manila Galleon Nuestra Señora de Ayuda in 1641 off the Catalina Islands. Barely surviving the wreckage, he had reached the mainland physically drained and emotionally destroyed after watching his beloved wife wither and perish on the long, arduous journey across the seas. Then, when there had been no life, no reason to continue, he saw death coming and had welcomed it. He had wept, thinking he had finally been forgiven and he would soon be in his Angelita’s arms again.
Instead, the Devil had played with his soul and had made him pay for his sins and failings in the worst imaginable way. To live as he was, a monster, the undead creature of timeless fable, the kind told to children when they did not want to listen to their Doña at bedtime. He paid for his sin every night, for allowing his love to die on that journey. He should have taken better care of her, kept her safe. The guilt never left him, no matter how hard he tried to forget.
He should have died, not her. She’d had family in California, expecting them both to join them and start a new life in the new world and untamed country.
Neither had ever arrived at the rancho. She was gone, and he was the myth of nightmares, walking when he shouldn’t be. Paying for his failures as a husband and as a man to the woman he loved for all eternity. And here he
was, circled back again to weigh the want to end his life as a soulless wraith, or to remain, to learn how deep the perfection he saw in Lily ran.
Watching Lily care for her friend, he knew her perfection ran deep. The sorrow and pain he felt when she spoke to him, when she let her defenses down enough to link her mind to his, was hard to hide. He knew it was there. Diego had been firm. It was her choice to tell him what had happened. No one, none of the women or David, were to have their privacy invaded for any reason. That was unquestionable. He remembered clearly the discussion they’d shared before Diego had left.
“Do others invade often?” Joaquin asked after Diego had taught him the intricate wards camouflaging the house within the embrace of the wilderness surrounding them. Diego’s ease with the magic created more questions, but he withheld them for the moment. Remembering the protections was the important thing, not curing his curiosity.
Diego moved with a fluid, confident kind of grace, the black leather trencher he wore swirling around him. He was a commanding figure. Joaquin stood at just over six feet and Diego was taller still. The man carried himself with a regal bearing, an assurance in himself Joaquin knew only came from hard earned experience. There was no doubt Diego had once been a great warrior. Considering the battle he’d witnessed during the invasion on his home, he still was.
“No. We are far from the major cities to keep the girls safe. It is paramount they heal.”
“What happened to them?” Joaquin had known there was something hidden in Lily’s deepest thoughts, wrapped tightly in a blanket of fear, something in her past that affected all of them. Learning Diego had not been responsible for it compelled him to understand her deep seated fear better.
“It is not my place to tell you,” he replied after a deliberate pause. “Do not pry at Lily. It will be her choice to tell you, or not.”
Joaquin heard the hidden truth in those words. Lily needed control in her life. “I will not.” And he’d upheld that vow, even though every part of him ached to ease the pain she suffered from. His one intrinsic ability. The one gift that had given him a remarkable ability to calm horses, a love of his and his wife’s. He’d been an exceptional breeder and trainer.
He swallowed the cruel memory down into the pit of his history. Had been. Now they wouldn’t let him near without mind manipulation. Most prey animals wouldn’t. They knew a predator when they saw one. He’d had no need for his one special gift in his silent world. Until now. The ability he hadn’t needed made him very sensitive to Lily’s flares of anger and pain with this unusual bond he’d formed with her. Especially when he was close to her.
The night they’d fled the cabin, distance had made the thread between them weaker, stretched, yet he’d still felt her intense trembling as though he sat right next to her. It had frustrated him that when she had almost imploded on the bus, the single embrace of comfort was the most he could offer. Even now, he didn’t feel it had been enough. Those fears and angers were held tight, behind a locked part of her mind she hadn’t let anyone into. He didn’t blame her for not wanting to pull them up to be examined or extinguished. The little he’d already unintentionally stumbled across had churned his stomach with its viciousness.
Her strength, her determination to go on after living through so much agony, awed him. Humbled him.
Because he had wanted nothing more than to die when he’d heard her voice. Yet, she would defy any threat to live, to stand beside her friend and keep her alive. Joaquin had never met her level of resilience in any other person, man or woman, ever.
His perusal of Tabitha’s room showed it was similar to the one he had been given, except for the medical equipment. Simple in style with pale colors on the walls and floor, even on the curtains to give it an airy, welcoming feeling. Large windows opened to the wildness outside, currently showing a brilliant sky of glittering diamonds in a cloudless sky. A sky he had just visited on his return from the closest town to fulfill his waking needs. It felt odd, but somehow comforting that when he returned nightly, he slipped through his bedroom window and unlocked his door to emerge as the nighttime watcher as though he’d been in that room all along. All signs of normalcy were given to make himself and the others seem human. Gifted, but still human.
Movement brought his gaze to Lily as she closed the book to set it aside. She brushed blonde hair away from Tabitha’s face even though its shorter length was in no danger of causing her problems where she lay so still on the bed.
Then, Lily spoke. “You know, I never expected to see the outside again. I honestly thought I would die in that cage.”
He straightened from his casual pose, letting his arms relax to his sides. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Cage? Just what had she lived through?
“I just want Tabitha to wake up,” she said with a wealth of emotion clogging her throat, making the words hoarse. “I think if I thought I was on the verge of drawing my last breath, that I was going to die the next time someone touched me, it would be hard for me to wake up too.” She took a steadying breath. “I know I can’t give up on her.”
“Your care, and the others’ will help her heal, Lily,” he offered, unsure what kind of comfort she needed or how much to give. Except for the one handshake they’d shared, he hadn’t touched her. He believed she’d drawn the strength to allow his touch because she had been surrounded by friends, and he hoped he’d never given her a threatening sensation. He hadn’t let a single flicker show that he’d felt, sensed and tasted her fear in that simple, congenial contact. He hadn’t touched her since, and had given everyone ample space to never feel crowded or encroached upon. It was taking time to ease himself into the rhythm of the home, but the others were growing accustomed to him. Patience was one thing he did have in abundance. And time. It didn’t insult or anger him when Kathy or Amy raised a questioning stare in his direction. He was what he was, but he was still a gentleman and he treated them all with respect. He hoped, in time, they could all find the peace that they deserved. After what he’d encountered from Lily alone, he knew they were due.
She nodded at his words. “Tani said she only needs time. I know she’s right.” Raising her hands upward, she tugged the waves of hair where it had fallen to cover her cheeks, hiding her away from him. “But it doesn’t make it any easier to watch her like this night after night.” Desolation darkened those tawny eyes when she finally rose to look in his direction. “I think she’s given up. Just when things are improving.”
“Titania is right. She will have time here. She is in there.” He flicked a look to the woman sleeping on the bed, sensing her, but not seeking or intruding as he’d promised. “She is tired, and scared. She will have to find the strength to wake up to see if her world has changed on her own, to decide what she’ll be able to do with it.” It only took a moment longer studying her in return to realize why Lily was so distraught. “You’ve been trying to reach her, haven’t you?” he asked gently. In her own world of pain and fury, she was trying to reach out to her friend. Just like she had with him.
Her head wobbled as she admitted it with a stilted, guilt-laden movement, avoiding his searching looks. He walked close enough to see her face and noticed the shadows under her eyes for the first time. “Have you been sleeping?” A dismissive shoulder roll was her reply. He wanted her to answer him on her own. He meant what he’d said. Only if she wanted to. It would be her choice whether she revealed herself to him or not. He enveloped the words in a soothing timbre, wanting to do more, wanting to wrap her into a safe ball of cotton to keep the world from hurting her more.
A hesitant catch in her voice drew him a step closer. “No, I haven’t been sleeping.”
Joaquin remembered what Nathan had explained to him that first night. Nightmares. He was sure they all suffered. Being a vampire, the most he lived with was a vision on his mind that he could wake with when the sun set. There were no dreams. Not any longer. Slowly, he watched her relax as he did what he could, exuding the comfort
he knew she needed, managing to not touch her in the process, even though he wasn’t prepared for how hard it was not to touch her, to help her the way he intrinsically knew he could. Physical touch would have expedited the aid. In the end, the result was the only thing on his mind as he poured himself into helping her.
The small clock on the dresser ticked while the strain apparent in her body and on her features seemed to melt away. Lifting her hands, she scrubbed them over her face, then drew a deep breath. “How do you do that?” Wide eyes met his when her hands fell. “It’s almost as if you can take it all away.”
“Almost. It’s the one gift I was born with.” The only one he’d actually thought of as a gift until he’d been cursed, and then, even his gift was useless. Until now. Until Lily, he’d never even known humans responded to it. He’d always directed it to the animals he’d trained. Three hundred years ago, he wouldn’t have ever considered using it on another human being. When he’d helped her the first time, he’d done it in instantaneous reaction. Without thinking of if it would work, without thought to repercussions or worries about if it would backfire. Simply, he had to help her the only way he knew how. Keeping her talking, she hadn’t been aware of his subtle touch. Now that he knew she did respond to it, he would do anything to help her. No one deserved to exist in the living hell he knew she kept hidden from the world. A hell he’d caught in glimpses. Considering how close Lily was to the woman on the bed, it was a miracle she hadn’t fallen into the same mindless non-existence to escape her pain. He didn’t blame either woman for their personal answers to their suffering.
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