by Renee Rose
Except he knew that was wishful thinking. He’d forged a bond with her and then broken it. A master did not abandon his pupil—or slave, as the case may be.
Still, separating from her was the only answer. He couldn’t give himself to her. He owed his allegiance to Becka. He would never mate again. And Leora deserved more than a master who used her body without any intention of mating. At least there was one thing he could do for her—send Lily back to visit.
Touching the communications device on his cuff, he called Rok and Lundric. “Seke to Zandian Freedom.” He used the new name they’d given the death pod. “I’m coming in for landing on Shooku. Send someone to meet me at the hatch.”
“Welcome, Master Seke. I’ll be there,” Lundric answered.
He landed the ship, putting an oxygen helmet on before disembarking, as the atmosphere on the planet was toxic. Until they recovered Zandia, the occupants of the death pod had to stay on it.
The hatch of the death pod opened, and he stepped into the decompression chamber. Once the opening sealed, a green light blinked, telling him it was safe, and he removed the helmet.
Lundric opened an interior door for him and bowed. “Master Seke, welcome.” Lundric briefed Seke on the status of the training, and they walked together to Rok’s headquarters.
“And the female?” Seke asked after his questions about the training had been satisfied.
A muscle under Lundric’s eye jumped. “What female?”
“The one holding you by the balls—was it Cambry? Have you won her yet?”
Lundric scowled. “Don’t ask.”
Lily rounded the corner as they arrived in front of the office used as a headquarters, and came to a stop when she saw them. Rok stepped out into the corridor, dropping a hand on her shoulder in a subtle sign of support and protection.
“Master Seke—what’s going on with my mother and sister? Are they prisoners?”
Rok folded his arms over his chest, his gaze assessing.
“No.” Thank the stars that matter had been cleared up before he arrived. “They await your visit—both are eager to spend time with you. Rok, if you wish to take her to the palatial pod, Lundric and I will oversee things here.”
Lily tilted her head to look up at her mate. Her hair slid back to reveal chips of flawless Zandian crystal decorating her ears. Rok, despite his lack of allegiance to Zander or his species, had mated her in Zandian tradition.
Why did that make Seke’s chest ache even more? Was it because he missed having a mate? No, the ache for Becka had left long ago, though the guilt had not. This pain came from longing for what he’d never have—Leora pierced and decorated with his crystal.
Bitterness welled up, coated his tongue. But bitterness at what? Returning to his celibate lifestyle had been his own choosing.
“May I fly the ship?” Lily asked Rok. The unguarded eagerness in her expression would have charmed him, except it, too, reminded him of Leora. Lily—though mostly a stranger—looked just like her mother. And he’d seen that same openness in Leora after he’d broken past her reserve. He’d been fortunate enough—honored, even, to catch a glimpse of what she kept hidden inside.
Before he left her.
Rok smiled indulgently. “Of course. How else will you learn?”
Lundric shuddered beside him, and Seke had a feeling it had to do with an innate Zandian instinct to protect their females—which meant keeping them out of the cockpits of battleships. But Rok clearly had a different viewpoint on the matter.
“And land, too?”
“No.” Rok spoke with the quick decisiveness of a true leader. Lamira had once had a vision of Rok leading their troops, and it seemed her vision would prove true. “It will be too difficult. You can land when we return to this planet.”
“When can we leave?”
“I’m waiting on you.”
She flashed a grin and dashed into the office, returning with two oxygen helmets. “Let’s go.”
Rok inclined his head to Seke. “Lundric knows the status of things here on the death pod. Insert yourself wherever you see fit.”
For one charged moment, Seke considered correcting Rok. Seke outranked him, and it wasn’t Rok’s place to give him instructions. But Lamira had seen Rok leading this troop. For whatever reason, this wasn’t Seke’s show. Perhaps Seke would be needed elsewhere when they attacked the Finn.
Seke nodded and turned to Lundric. “Take me to the training ground.”
Stars knew he needed a long, hard, physical fight. Every hour for the rest of his life. How else would he dull the ache of living without Leora?
~.~
After being shut up for so many planet rotations in Seke’s chamber, Leora should have been out in the pod, visiting Barr in his kitchen or tending to her plants.
But she couldn’t face any of it.
She couldn’t bear to see Seke, or anything that reminded her of him—which meant she’d have to go through the rest of her life with her eyes sealed shut. So she’d holed up in her chamber, curled in a ball, sleeping on and off all planet rotation. Her dreams showed her oldest memories of Johan. Their first kiss. The moment he left her, pregnant with Lamira, to lead the slave uprising.
Some small part of her had resented him for it. It wasn’t fair, she knew. He’d been fighting for the freedom of their daughters, of their species. He was noble and brave. But he’d put her life in danger. When the uprising failed—as unorganized and spontaneous acts of defiance often do—she’d been picked up and transferred to the agrifarm. If they’d known she was Johan’s mate—carried his child—she’d have been executed.
And now Seke had abandoned her as well. Granted, she was neither pregnant, nor in danger, but he saw a lofty ideal as more worth pursuing. And why shouldn’t he? She was just a human slave. A female he’d been attracted to, but to whom he owed nothing.
She moaned and changed positions on the bed. If only she didn’t feel as if her very soul had been ripped from her with a serrated knife.
A light tap came on the door.
She didn’t move, even though she knew it would be Lamira.
“Mother? Are you in there? Let me in.”
She sighed and dragged herself from the bed, feeling as if she weighed as much as three airships put together. She activated the door, and Lamira pushed past her, taking her hands.
“What happened? I heard Seke left for the death pod.”
Had he? Veck. That didn’t make it any better..
“That’s all.” It felt as if a giant brick had been placed on her chest.
“Zander has declared we’re no longer slaves. He told you that?”
She blinked at her daughter, noticing the color back in her cheeks, the brightness of her eyes. “You’ve mended the rift with Zander?”
“Yes. He made me so angry I tried to leave again first, though.”
Relieved to listen to someone else’s problems, Leora led her to the hoverseats by the little corner table. “What happened?”
Lamira explained their quarrel, blushing as she arrived at their reconciliation. No doubt she’d just had incredible, ravishing sex. She wondered if all Zandians had the capacity to turn human females into weak-kneed, swooning fools with a simple touch or command. Was it their natural dominance? Their size and stature? Or was it something particular to Zander and Seke?
“So what happened with Seke? He never broke his vow of celibacy, then?”
Her shoulders sagged. “Actually, that’s the worst part. He did. But he hated himself and me for it. And when Zander gave him leave to end my training, he took the opportunity and dropped me like a hot coal.”
“I suppose you are like a hot coal to him.” Lamira tapped her lips with her fingertips.
“Thanks,” she said drily.
“I don’t mean you would burn him. Only that there’s fire between you. He can’t touch you without coming away changed.”
Lamira’s unexpected poetics had tears filling her eyes. “I don’t think that�
�s it,” she said stiffly.
Thankfully, Lamira changed the subject. “Lily’s coming. She’s on her way now—Zander just told me. Why don’t you wash up so you’re ready when she gets here?”
Leora took that to be Lamira’s kind way of telling her she looked awful, so she agreed, trudging to the washtube. The idea of seeing Lily did brighten her outlook slightly, as did the shower.
After she dressed, she and Lamira went to the kitchen to let Barr know another human would be arriving, and they’d require extra food.
~.~
A mother’s reunion with her long-lost daughter shouldn’t include moping over a male. Somehow, though, she’d blurted the whole story. After taking Lily on a tour of the pod, the three women had spent at least five hours sitting at one end of the long dining table, eating, talking, and drinking sweet blueberry wine.
Zander and Rok had left them to it, although the males had checked in a few times to see how they were doing. Lily had filled them in on her torrid love affair with Rok—how she’d stolen his ship, only to have him rescue her and keep her prisoner, punishing her in ways she’d discovered she loved.
Lamira had shared her story of being purchased as Zander’s breeder, and what it was like to be the first female the palatial pod had housed. Lily had some fierce questions about their captivity—whether they were still held as slaves or not—which led to telling Leora’s short and tumultuous tale with Seke.
“If he didn’t bear so much guilt for saving Zander instead of his mate and children, he might be a different being,” Lamira said. “But holding himself away from you is how he chooses to punish himself.” Sometimes Lamira sounded wiser than her years. “How did Rok escape Zandia?” she asked Lily.
“He said he got lucky. He lived in the palace because his father was a laborer there. A guard helped him and two daughters of an important advisor get out through an underground tunnel. They got to a ship and flew off the planet. They were shot down over Stornig, where he was adopted and raised by locals.”
“Two daughters of an important advisor.” Lamira’s eyes had the unfocused look they took on when she was seeing with her inner eye. “Seke’s two daughters.”
Leora stiffened, sitting straight up in her hoverseat. “Are you sure?” she asked sharply.
“Remember? I only saw his mate and infant had died in the invasion.”
Lily focused on her sister. “Rok told me there was something unusual about you.” She glanced over at Leora. “I’ve always thought I had good gut instincts. Does it run in the family?”
Leora nodded. “Gut instinct is what I rely on as well. Lamira was born with this special knowing. We had to hide it to keep her from being logged as unusual and executed.” She turned back to Lamira. “What do you see?”
“The girls were Seke’s.”
“Did they survive the crash?” Lily asked. “Rok never knew.”
Lamira was quiet for a long moment, listening, looking inward. “They’re alive. I can’t see where. It feels dark to me. Imprisoned, perhaps. Or just unhappy.” Her focus returned. “They need our help.”
Leora rose to her feet. “You must tell him.”
“I must tell him? Shouldn’t you?”
Just the thought of seeing Seke’s face sent her heart rate crashing, a tumble of sputtered breath and seizing muscles in her chest. “I—I can’t. I don’t want to see him. This won’t change anything between us.”
“Maybe not, but he should know. And you’re the one to tell him. You’re the one he confided in about his family.”
Her heart continued to flip-flop in her chest. “All right. I’ll tell him. But I’ll wait until he returns and I can do it in person.”
Rok ambled in. “Are you three still eating?” he teased. “I’ve never understood how such tiny beings could require so much food. Lily depleted my ship’s entire store of food while she was on it.”
Lily’s laugh rang out. “That’s not true.” She stood up and sauntered to her mate, whose eyes followed the swing of her hips with an appreciative gaze. “Did you recharge in the crystal room?”
He nodded. “I did.” He flexed his biceps. “Can’t you tell?”
She laughed again, her pleasure at being near her mate so palpable, Leora thought she could almost see waves of love transferring between the two.
Both her daughters had found their true mates—in an alien species, no less. She couldn’t be happier for them.
Sweet Mother Earth.
She wanted her own alien mate. She wanted Seke. But not if he didn’t want her. The weariness returned to her limbs. She stood, too, needing to be alone.
At least she had a grandbaby to look forward to. It would give her some purpose in her otherwise empty life.
~.~
Seke worked without a break all planet rotation, but nothing distracted him from, nor made a dent in, his misery. Leora filled every thought. He felt her presence with him, as if they were still locked together in his chamber, as if he might turn and find her just a few meters away at any moment.
He’d made Lundric practice hand-to-hand combat with him for two hours after most of the pod had bedded down for the night, hoping to dull his agony, but it was no use.
Now, as he walked through the silent corridors, the unease of the humans seemed to radiate from the very walls. The Zandians had saved them from their death, but the humans still didn’t trust them. No one slept in the prison cells that had housed them on the way there, even though Rok had disabled all the locks. They chose, instead, to bed down together on floors in the larger halls. They obeyed orders warily—interested in learning how to defend themselves but not sure they could trust their trainers.
He didn’t blame them.
Utilizing the humans to fight their war in exchange for sanctuary once Zandia was won was either a stroke of pure genius, or it would be the downfall of their war plan. Since the vision had come to Lamira, he had to trust it was genius. Still, Prince Zander had been granted sanctuary on Ocretia, and their empress wouldn’t take kindly to the siphoning off and freeing of their slaves.
Hopefully by the time they realized they were harboring escaped slaves, the Zandians would have regained enough power to hold their own.
Seke’s cuff blinked with an incoming hologram from Zander. He accepted it. “Please tell me you worked everything out with your mate.”
“I did. I’m not sure whether to thank you or throttle you for the advice you gave me.”
“Come over here and try to throttle me. I could use a challenge.”
“Yes.” Zander hesitated, and he realized, for once, his pupil might have been trying to give him advice. “A vow of celibacy may have made sense before our species was in danger of extinction.”
His brows slammed down. Veck this. Zander had no vecking idea what his vow was about.
“You saved me instead of them, didn’t you?”
Breath whooshed in his lungs before he expected it, and he almost choked.
“I should have known that. I should have guessed. I’m so coddled here, it never occurred to me. I knew you lost them, but I didn’t realize you might have had a choice of who to save.”
Seke swallowed, hard. His stomach sank like he’d eaten a boulder. “There was no choice.” He barely got the words out. Zander had become a son to him, after they escaped. He’d practically raised the boy—he loved him like his own family. “I am Master at Arms. I serve the Zandian throne.”
Zander looked stricken. “I’ll never be able to repay that debt. Even if I win back Zandia.”
It was a heavy task Seke had set on the prince’s shoulders from a young age. Seke had forced the same sense of duty on Zander he’d upheld himself. Zander had to study for war, amass enough wealth, and lead a campaign to regain their home. But there was no way he’d let the boy carry the weight of his family’s death, too. Seke forced breath into his lungs. Out of them. Memories from the invasion flashed before his eyes. The marble ceiling of the ancient palace crashing down around th
em, explosions everywhere.
“You were closer,” he croaked. “I had a better chance of getting you out than I did going for them. We’d probably all be dead if I’d chosen differently.”
He’d forgotten that truth in his daily self-condemnation. He hadn’t just chosen for duty. He’d made the only choice there had been—the one that saved two Zandian lives.
Zander rubbed his ear. “If you’re honoring your family with this vow out of love, then I bow to you. But if it’s out of obligation, or guilt—”
“Don’t.” He held up his hand. He didn’t want Zander’s philosophies on the matter. He had enough swirling in his head to keep him up every night for a solar cycle.
Zander raised his arm with the fist bent at a ninety degree angle, as was the traditional Zandian greeting. “I honor your honor.” He spoke the benediction in their native tongue.
Seke bowed to his hologram. “I honor your honor.” He ended the transmission before he choked up. As he walked slowly back to his chamber, a tenuous peace settled like a mantle over his shoulders. He hadn’t chosen honor over family—he’d made the only choice available to him. Saving Zander over his own children had been the result of circumstance, not his orchestration. That adjustment of focus changed things, somehow. It put to bed the largest chunk of guilt he carried.
And it had been so long since he’d lost them, his grief for his family no longer stung. With the layer of guilt removed, their death was like a box he could move within, instead of the coffin he’d chosen. What did that mean for his vow? Did it change things?
He activated the door to his own small sleeping chamber with a numeric code—the death pod was a primitive craft. The room was no more than a cot and washtub. With a groan, he sank to the cot and dropped his face into his hands. His body was weary, but his mind still ran in one hundred directions. And all of them led to Leora.
He hoped her visit with Lily had gone well.
Maybe he’d just check on her. He had access to the security feed from the palatial pod via his wrist cuff. He wouldn’t let it become a habit to spy on her, but tonight—just tonight—it might put his mind at ease to see her.
