by Ally Miller
“You chose to live here instead of with our parents?” she asked intrigued.
“How is it different than living in that boarding house?” he questioned.
“I’m twenty-four,” she countered. “I’m independent.”
“So am I.”
“It just seems…” She took in the vast barn and his small living space. “...lonely.”
“No lonelier than eating whatever your landlord cooks and reading in your room before bed.”
He gave her a long, scrutinous look with his brown eyes before Lucy admitted. “Fair enough.”
Will rose from the table and searched among the piles before he returned with a bottle of whiskey. “I’ve been saving this for a special occasion,” he explained. “I think tonight is just the time.”
It was Lucy that gave him the long look this time. Who was this person that she thought she'd grown up with? Will poured her the glass and after they clinked their cups, she surprised herself by draining its contents in one swallow.
“Oh, don’t have the town folk seeing you do that,” Will mocked and when Lucy showed him a crude gesture, he filled her cup again. “Or that.”
This continued until they’d each had three shots and Lucy felt warm and giggly. Will went to fill her glass a fourth time and she shook her head no. She watched him refill his own when she asked, “So do you think someone still wants to kill you?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’m sure they were shocked when I came back here, but it’s been awfully quiet. Even the boss stopped talking about the future.”
“Who would want to kill you? You are the best cowboy on this ranch!”
“That’s the issue,” he replied and Lucy almost thought he looked like he was rushing. “You really think I’m the best cowboy here?”
Lucy nodded, feeling sluggish as the world moved with her. “You’ve been at this as long as I’ve known you.”
Will stood up and closed the space between them. If Lucy wasn’t drunk she would have felt anxious or even moved, but she remained unmoving as her heart pounding against her ribs.
“I’m sorry...I need to do this.” Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers firmly.
A sober Lucy would have tried to figure out what led up to this moment. Instead, she kissed him back, letting her instincts take over.
Chapter 4
It was frantic after that. Will pulled her to her feet and continue to crush his lips against hers as he guided her toward where a makeshift bed had been made near the straw. There were sheets on top of the straw and a pillow nestled in the corner, only visible if someone walked completely into his living area and even though Lucy was drunk she prayed that no one did.
What were they doing anyway? This should have been wrong. She should have been having sick taboo sibling thoughts about him, but she wasn’t. Will had never felt like a brother, just a boy that lived in her home and asked her to pass the salt at dinner. She thought about how she always thought he was brave and how she always thought his eyes were the perfect color for his complexion. God, what was the matter with her?
Breathless, they broke apart and he stared at her. “I’m only going to move forward if you tell me it’s okay.” His face looked like he wanted nothing more than for her to tell him to continue. Why had they never talked about this?
Lucy’s head was spinning. She could feel the whiskey tingling on her lips. The sensible part of her told that they should talk about this, that they were moving too fast, but that part of her was smothered by the part that was filled with desire. “It’s okay,” she replied.
Will pushed her onto the bed and covered her with his body. His fierce kisses moved to the rest of her body; her neck, her collarbone and even her breasts once he freed her shirt from her skirt. Lucy made sounds of pleasure in spite of herself, and she couldn’t believe that she was enjoying something so much.
Growing up, Lucy never had a boyfriend. She was just too busy trying to figure out who she was or what she wanted to be when she grew up. Now she almost cursed herself for not finding out this sort of thing sooner. She wished that she knew how to reciprocate the way Will was making her feel. She wanted nothing more than to please him.
After they’d kissed for a while, Will began to pull his pants down and lift Lucy’s skirts up so that their bare skin grazed against one another. “It’s still not too late,” he murmured against her, “You can tell me to stop.”
Lucy looked at him, and how his manhood was erect and ready to fulfill his carnal need. A part of Lucy was torn because she knew that if she committed this sin with Will and someone found out about it, her life would be ruined. She’d lose her job and her spotless reputation. The other part of her was so aroused that she had to know what sex felt like. Having liquid courage flowing through her veins certainly helped.
“I’m a virgin. I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.
“Don’t worry,” he replied, “I’ll show you what to do.”
Lucy nodded. “Please don’t stop.”
She had expected pain, but only felt a small sting as Will slowly entered her. He kissed her tenderly as he began to thrust in and out. He was never like your brother anyway. She tried to remind herself as the heat between her legs began to grow and the feeling there was making her cry out. She found herself running her hands through his sandy brown hair and the higher she climbed she found herself clutching onto him as if her very life depended on it. Will must have been getting close because his breathing was becoming labored and she could hear him hissing under his breath.
“Help me,” he whispered in warning, “I don’t want to finish inside of you.”
Will pulled out of her and he grabbed her hand and placed it around his shaft. He told her to pump her hand up and down and it wasn’t long before he had reached his climax and Lucy was shocked when his seed spilled onto her.
“I’m so sorry,” he said as he sat up and searched for something to clean her with.
It didn’t take long for the guilt to sink in. She might have been sobering up, but as she began to adjust to her clothes, the severity of the situation creeped into thought. She had just had sex with her step-brother. Her job depended on her being pure and virginal. Oh God, she thought as he put her head in her hands. What would her parents think?
“I knew you would be like this. I knew you’d start freaking out.”
Lucy picked her head up and for the first time since Will came to her with an arrow in his side, she glowered at him. “Do you blame me? I’m not supposed to be in a relationship with anyone. Hell, I don’t think I know one school teacher that was married.” She shook her head, trying to keep calm. “I didn’t just fool around with any old cowboy. I just had sex with my step-brother!” she despaired.
“If it makes you feel better,” Will tried to muster. “I’ve never seen you as my sister. Never.”
Lucy’s stomach dropped at that admission. “I...I always felt the same way about you. I never recognized how handsome you were until just now. But no, I never looked at you and felt the way I felt when I looked at Grace. It was always more. Intrigue I guess.”
Will sat next to her on the bed and offered her his hand. Just like that night in her room, she took his hand and clasped it tightly. “I have no regrets.”
“That may be so, but no one in this world will ever understand that. Not even our parents.”
Will smiled at her. “No one has to know.”
“Oh Will,” Lucy replied sadly. “It’s like I tell my students. You can lie but someone always finds out. That how it always works.” She dropped his hand and stood up. “I should go before I am missed.”
Will stood and closed the space between them one more. “Please think about it and I’ll see you again. I promise.”
Lucy brushed his cheek with the back of her hand and kissed him lightly. Deciding at that very moment that this was going to be a memory that they would look back at one day fondly but nothing more than one that things got out of control
. Then she made sure she looked presentable before she allowed Will to escort her back to the boarding house no longer touching, not a word spoke between them her entire walk home.
Chapter 5
Besides reading and leading a boring a life, another thing that Lucy did quite well was run from her problems. She didn’t go back to the ranch, she didn’t even try to think about Will. It was as she had told herself as she had left him that night. It was a drunken mistake, a night of passion that would never be spoken about again. Or at least that is what she thought.
Several days later Lucy was ringing the bell for the school house so that the children would come in from playing or talking before the day started, when one of her youngest students skipped up to her and placed an envelope in her hand.
“What’s this, Zachary?” she asked the boy that could have been no more than five.
The little boy shrugged. “I’m not sure. I just know it’s for you. A man gave it me on my way to school.”
Lucy felt a jolt in her stomach when she remembered that the child lived near the ranch. Was Will trying to reach out to her? She tore open the envelope, expecting a letter full of terms of endearment but it was not what was written on the page at all:
I know you screwed your step-brother. This is just one more thing I can use against him. Maybe I’ve got the goods on you now too.
Lucy went from feeling a jolt in her stomach to feeling like she was going to be sick. This was her worst fear. If word of this got out, she’d be shunned from town, she’d lose everything.
“Who gave this to you?” she demanded and felt bad when the little boy flinched. “Zachary I need to know what the man looked like.”
The child looked confused again. “I don’t know his name. He looked old enough to be someone’s daddy. He had dark hair and a beard.” Lucy racked her brain for someone that fit the description but came up with nothing. The town wasn’t that large, but cowboys came in and out of town so often that many of them blurred together. “Thank you, Zachary,” She replied as sweetly as she could muster. “You can go inside.”
For the rest of the day, Lucy tried to keep a level head as she worked with her students, but all could she could focus on what the letter she had received. Someone knew. Someone was threatening her. Lucy didn’t know what to do. She could keep on running from her problems; she could pretend that nothing was wrong. She could deny it even, it would be her word against someone else's. But then she thought about how Will had been severely injured once before. Was this the same person that had wanted him dead? This was more than just about her. She could run from her own problems, but not if the problems could hurt someone else.
She canceled her tutoring that afternoon, telling the students that she wasn’t feeling well and she quickly grabbed her bonnet from her room in the boarding house before she set off for the ranch. The long walk did nothing to settle her thoughts as she thought of the worst-case scenarios: public humiliation, becoming homeless. She was surprised at herself when one of those awful day dreams was of Will being maimed or killed. Maybe the two of them would have to revisit their feelings for one another. If they got through this unscathed.
As she reached the ranch, she scanned the acres of land, trying to spot Will among the men that were herding cattle and working around the farm. She also kept an eye out for anyone that fit the description of who Zachary had said gave him the letter. She kept her eyes low as she darted from building to building, finding Will’s barn and letting herself in to wait.
What felt like hours later, Will entered his living quarters and was shocked to find Lucy sitting on one of his makeshift chairs.
“Lucy…” he said breathlessly and went to take her in his arms.
She pushed him away, shaking her head. “Someone one knows.”
“What?”
She handed him the letter. “Someone knows what we did. I told you that the truth is always discovered.”
Will eyes darted back and forth as he read the short note. “How did you get this?”
Lucy recounted how one of her students had given it to her and that the messenger had been middle aged and grisly looking. “Do you have idea who that might be?”
He paced around as he replied. “I do, but if it’s who I think it is we are in for huge problem. He’s one of the other men being considered for inheriting the ranch since our boss has no children. Richard Polk.” He spat it out like a curse word. “He’s a snake. He would use you as a way of getting to me.”
Lucy tried not to feel sick as she thought about him eavesdropping on their intimate encounter. She felt even sicker when she thought of him approaching young Zachary. She hadn’t even seen his face and she was frightened. “What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know.” Will looked like a cross between defeated and hopeless.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Lucy admitted.
His face brightened slightly. “You could lose everything and you care about what happens to me?”
Lucy nodded. “I wish I could figure out what that means. But for now, we’ve got more important matters to handle.
Will agreed with her before he told her to go back to the boarding house and resume her normal routine. “Lucy,” he called after her, “Be safe.”
“You too,” she replied.
Then she put her bonnet back on and made her way back to town in the setting sun.
Chapter 6
Lucy went to dinner feeling like everyone was watching her and judging her. She barely touched her meal of roasted meat and potatoes and mostly pushed her food around the plate with her fork. She had to think of a way to get out of this mess, but she was fooling herself. The only way this could have been avoided would have been to not drink the whiskey or agree to go back to the ranch with Will in the first place.
“Everything all right deary?” her landlord asked as she noticed that her plate was barely touched.
Lucy nodded. “It smells heavenly. I just don’t have an appetite. I think I must be getting sick.” She rose from the table. “I think I’ll take this up with me on the off chance that I feel better later.” She smiled at her landlord and headed for the stairs.
When she reached the landing she knew that something was wrong. Her door which should have been locked was open slightly. I know I locked that, she thought as she reached for the door knob. A part of Lucy told her to flee, to run right back to the dinner table or even to the schoolhouse where she could lock herself in. You can’t run from your problems anymore, she reminded herself. She took a deep breath before she pushed the door open.
The man that had been described to her multiple times since receiving the letter was leaning against her windowsill. His sun-weathered face smirked at her as she tried to process how he’d gotten into your room.
“How...How…” Lucy trembled.
“Your landlord is pretty much deaf,” he replied curtly. “I stole her keys while she was cooking dinner. Put ‘em back without her knowing anything.”
“You’re Richard Polk?”
The man nodded, taking off his hat and attempted to give a bow. “Yes ma’am.”
“Why are you here?” Lucy knew that it was to taunt and intimidate but she asked it anyway.
“I hate your step-brother,” he answered. “Or is he your lover now?” He laughed and it made Lucy sick to her stomach.
“That...That was a mistake!” she wailed. Did she beg for him not to tell? What did she do? As it was, if anyone saw him in her room she’d be done for.
“Be that as it may, I still saw you enter and leave with him and I definitely heard you two fooling around. What will the innocent, god-fearing people in this town think when they find out that the school teacher is a harlot? An incestuous harlot at that?”
Lucy found her eyes narrowing. This man despised Will so much that he was willing to drag her through the mud to get what he wanted. “He’s not my blood brother,” Lucy retorted, but she knew that it sounded weak and wrong even to her
own ears. “All his because you want the ranch?”
The man nodded once. “You better believe it. I have worked longer than that boy and I’ve been through more than he will ever know.” Even though he didn’t say the words out loud, Lucy could tell that he was insinuating because he’ll be dead.
“There’s got to be a way that you can reach an agreement.” Lucy tried to reason, but it sounded more like a plea and she hated it.
Richard Polk looked her up and down with his hard grey eyes. “There’s a few ways we could make an agreement.” He paused to do nothing more than make her squirm. “The boss is never going to choose me over him, so he leaves town or he dies. But, I’ll keep quiet about your part in this…” Once more he flicked his eyes over Lucy’s body. “If you let me show you how to please a man.”
There was the catch. Now that she’d thrown out her virtue, anyone thought they could have it. While it was enticing to know it might silence him for the moment. Lucy knew that it wouldn’t make him not tell forever. “No thank you,” she replied as strongly as she could.
“No?” The man looked at her like she was stupid. “What about your role of being the virginal schoolmarm?”
Lucy swallowed hard as she tried to not waver. “I’ve made a mistake. Having sex with you isn’t going to help that. It’s only going to make it worse.”
The man’s demeanor changed immediately. He was no longer was the calm, cool and collected man that had started this conversation. He grabbed her by the arm and gritted his teeth as he spoke just inches from her face. “I can ruin your life in an instant. If you love your step-brother at all. You’ll do this. Or I’ll kill him. I’ll tell them he raped you and they’ll hang him.”
“I’ll scream and they’ll do the same to you,” Lucy retorted. “How will you get your ranch then?”
The man’s eyes widened before he released her and stalked to the door. “You’ll be sorry for this. Your life will be miserable. You’ll wish you were dead.”
