“Why would you think about hurting each other when we haven’t even started anything?”
“Good point. I don’t have a good answer to that except to say I was scared.”
“Of what?”
Jaxon took a deep, slow breath. “You’re a superstar, Holly. There’s the fact that you meet men much more eligible than me all the time. I keep thinking, why me when you can have anyone you want? Then there are your super fans, who’d no doubt check every single thing about me and make judgements on whether I’m good enough for you.”
Emotions rose up inside Holly’s chest. She guessed she shouldn’t be surprised by his answer. It was nothing new.
She turned from him and walked out the balcony. She didn’t want him to see her eyes watering.
No matter how attracted Jaxon was to her, if he hated the kind of attention he was bound to get by merely having drinks at a cafe with her, then it would never work. Those were things she simply had no control over.
Argh, this sucked! But such was her lot in life.
Perhaps she’d already received more blessings than she deserved, so she wasn’t entitled to anything else other than a successful career. But, hey, who was she to complain? She’d already been so incredibly fortunate. And there was always a counterbalance, right? Given that she was so lucky with her career, her bad luck seemed to be in her romantic relationships.
“Please give me another chance,” Jaxon said quietly behind her.
She inhaled, filling her lungs completely before she turned to him. “If we do date and the media finds out, your life will never be the same. If you can’t stand the thought of being in the spotlight with me, then you’re right in trying to avoid me. I totally understand. Even I wouldn’t want the kind of intrusion into my private life that I constantly get. Unfortunately for me, it comes with the territory.”
“It’s not like I can’t handle it. But we can keep it a secret while we’re trying to get to know each other better, right? Why does the world have to know?”
She smiled sadly. “If we decide to date, they’ll eventually find out. Even the fact that I’m here will be eventually discovered. Sooner or later, the paps and my OZs will wonder where I am, and then they’ll start following those near and dear to me. Finding my exact location will become a sport to them. So unless I totally isolate myself and not allow anyone to come and see me…” She threw up her hands in frustration. There was no way to keep her dating life a secret, no matter how much she’d love to try.
Jaxon took her hand and squeezed it. “But for the time being, we can hide from the public, right? I guess I just want us to have some time to enjoy each other’s company without being watched, so that we can figure out if we’re meant for each other or not without outside pressures. I’ve read about other famous people having dated for months before being found out. That’s what we need—a few months of relative privacy so that if we got to a serious stage, then we would have built a strong foundation that can withstand the inevitable public attention.”
Holly stared into Jaxon’s eyes. It was one thing to say it, but another thing to live it. “If you want to date in private, that would mean not being able to go to the cinemas and watching a movie together. We won’t be able to walk hand-in-hand by the beach or have romantic dinners in restaurants. We can’t even be glancing too often at each other in public, in case someone notices and pictures of our loving stares get splashed all over. In fact, we can’t even be seen alone together. It would be a terribly restrictive and boring dating life.”
Jaxon’s forehead creased. “Are you saying you don’t even want to try? We only need to hide until either we’re both ready to show the world we’re together or we decide we’re better off as friends. For me, I’m hoping for the former. And I don’t care if we stay indoors all the time. There’s plenty for us do and talk about without going out. ”
Her chest expanded and a rush of heat spread through her body. She most definitely could think of pleasurable activities they could do a lot of indoors.
But was she ready to open herself up to him again? He’d already hurt her several times with his rejections.
“I’m so sorry for hurting and embarrassing you before,” Jaxon said softly, as if reading her mind. “It wasn’t my intention. I truly wanted so much to let you know I’m interested in you too, but I was just a stubborn mule who wanted to avoid complications in my life. But I’m so incredibly drawn to you, Holly. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I sure as hell want to find out. I know now that I’ll regret it forever if I don’t.”
That did it. Without another thought, she curved her arms around his neck and lifted her lips to his for a brief kiss.
Jaxon slid his arms around her waist, sighing.
Well, he was beaming, actually. And he looked mighty relieved.
And so was she. Her mouth had never stretched so wide.
A faint buzzing intruded on their moment.
Jaxon wrinkled his nose, reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone.
Aidan, the screen said.
“Mind if I get this?” Jaxon asked. “It’s one of the managers at work.”
“Sure.”
Jaxon gave her another peck on the lips before releasing her and going back inside.
She turned towards the railing, the light from the full moon filtering through the trees. How romantic their conversation had turned out to be. She hoped that whatever Jaxon’s employee was calling about wouldn’t cause their night to end abruptly. Work calls this late usually meant something was urgent.
A strong breeze blew her way, and she smiled. Regardless, this was only the beginning for her and Jaxon. And she couldn’t wait to spend more time with him.
She felt him approach before she heard his footsteps.
“Hey,” Jaxon said, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling her cheek. “I’m afraid I have to do some work downstairs.”
She exhaled her disappointment, leaning back against him. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. It’s just about an important project that’s overdue. I have to check and approve some documents. What are you doing tomorrow?”
“I’ll be in the studio for most of the day. I’ll probably be back here at around six-ish.”
“Can I drive you there? Then I’ll pick you up and we can have a date in here tomorrow night.”
She turned around to face him, surprised. “What happened to keeping us a secret?”
“You’ll be wearing your trusty blonde wig and glasses, won’t you?”
“But Bryce drives me to and from the studio.”
Jaxon made a face. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I’d prefer if I do it.”
She chuckled, enjoying his show of jealousy. “Come on, he’s my bodyguard! He hasn’t done anything inappropriate.”
“He came here to see you tonight.”
“Okay, I admit I wasn’t expecting that either, but it is part of his job to ensure I’m safe. He wanted to assess the situation during the nights that I’m all alone here—that was why he decided to come tonight.”
Jaxon stared at her, his brows furrowed.
“Are you really this jealous?” she asked with a mock frown.
Jaxon smiled grimly. “No, not usually. But I don’t trust Bryce. I think he has designs on you.”
“How can you tell?”
“Well, he asked me earlier if you’re dating someone. He said it’s important for him to know as part of his job, but wasn’t comfortable asking you directly. I’m sure he asked because he wants to know if he can make a move on you.”
She cupped his face. “Bryce is friendlier and more personable than my previous bodyguards, but he’s never given me the impression that he’s attracted to me. I’m sure he meant it when he said that he simply didn’t feel comfortable asking me about my dating life. And I can understand why he has to know about it.”
“Maybe you just haven’t noticed because he’s also trying to be
professional.”
“Well, there you go! I doubt he’d try anything if it means losing his job.”
The consternation on Jaxon’s face was obvious. Placing her arms around his neck, she kissed his lips. “Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I do.”
“I have no reason to sack Bryce. He hasn’t done anything wrong. And you know what? I’m kinda getting worried about your jealousy,” she said teasingly. “What would you do if you read something in the papers that I’m dating someone else? A lot of falsehoods get written about me, you know.”
Jaxon rubbed his face. “Sorry. I’m really not the jealous type. I’m just…worried about you.”
“You don’t think I can handle Bryce if he started flirting with me?” she asked gently.
“It’s not that.” Jaxon exhaled harshly, looking around like he was unsure of something.
Worry cloaked Holly. Why was Jaxon being like this? She’d hadn’t known him to be…unreasonable.
Or was Jaxon thinking about her playgirl reputation? That was a topic he’d never raised, ever. But did he believe she was one?
“Jax,” she said quietly. “You can trust me. I’m not someone who plays around, despite what the tabloids say.”
Jaxon’s mouth dropped, and he took her in his arms. “Hey, I wasn’t thinking that. I’m just worried that you’re starting to like Bryce too much and…I don’t want to lose you. I know I’ve been an asshole to you, but this… This has woken me up. And I’m scared of losing my chance with you.”
She smiled, her heart beating hard from his declaration. “Please don’t worry. And if Bryce shows the slightest interest in me, I’ll ask for another bodyguard. That’s a promise.”
“Okay,” Jaxon said, shutting his eyes as if pained. Then he sighed, smiling at her. “I wish I didn’t have to work tonight, but I do.”
She nodded, throwing herself at him and kissing him thoroughly. “Good night,” she said against his lips.
Jaxon grunted, running his hands up and down her back and pulling her closer.
Their kiss deepened, and she couldn’t get enough. How long had she dreamt about this? She couldn’t believe it was finally happening.
She pressed herself flush against him, kissing him more hungrily—if that was possible.
Oh God, he was getting hard—and she wanted him too.
Jaxon’s hand strayed to her ass, and she moaned. She was burning from want.
But Jaxon pulled away abruptly, shaking his head. “Next time, don’t kiss me like that when I have to go.”
She took a deep sigh. He really couldn’t stay? She guessed she had to be patient.
She smiled. “I’d invite you to come back when you finish work, but I’ll probably be asleep by then. I’m working on a new song tomorrow and my creativity suffers when I lack sleep.”
“Minx,” Jaxon muttered, going for another hot kiss before turning on his heels and walking out.
Despite her discomfort from unfulfilled desire, Holly went to bed with the biggest grin on her face. But after about an hour and a half of tossing and turning, she was still wide awake.
And hot and bothered.
Sleep simply wouldn’t come when her mind was filled with Jaxon, and when her body was filled with need.
Well, what was she waiting for?
With some trepidation, she picked up her phone from the bedside table and rang him.
“Hi.” Jaxon sounded very pleased.
“Hi. Are you still working?” she asked shyly.
“I just finished. I thought you’d be asleep by now.”
“Can’t sleep.”
“Shall I come up?” Jaxon asked in a low, sexy voice.
She bit her lip, her body responding to his tone. “If you like.”
“Yes. I like very much, please.”
Her breath hitched. “Since you asked so nicely…”
“Give me ten minutes to have a shower,” Jaxon said hurriedly before hanging up.
She giggled. He’d sounded impatient. Frankly, so was she. Every cell in her body was already tingling in anticipation.
Being with someone new was always exciting, but it was different with Jaxon. He was the first guy she’d liked enough to pursue herself.
She thought of the men who’d given her standing invitations for a date. She’d discovered a long time ago that most of them weren’t interested in relationships. Rather, they simply lusted after Holly Stirling, the superstar, not Holly Stirling, the person. In fact, there had even been one guy who kept on contacting Christine, saying his private jet was ready to fly Holly to his mansion at any time for a night of passion.
Those kinds of propositions insulted her. And she just felt sad that for all the attention she got, none of them translated to love.
Could Jaxon be different?
She pressed her hands against her heart. She truly hoped so.
Sighing, she got up and brushed her hair. Pity Eve hadn’t packed lingerie. Her spaghetti-strap top and silk shorts would have to do.
What would Eve and Xavier say when they learnt that she and Jaxon were going out? Or—she snickered—staying in together.
Jaxon was right, though. Having some privacy while they got to know each other better would help tremendously. Then they could be stronger as a couple before facing the complications brought about by her public profile.
She rolled her eyes. Listen to her! She was already thinking long-term when they hadn’t even started their very first date—which they’d be conducting in bed.
She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Was sex the right start for the two of them? Was she giving Jaxon the wrong impression about the kind of woman she was?
Her heart skipped when she heard a knock. Oh, damn. He was already here, just when she’d started to confuse herself!
She took a deep breath and went to open the door, nervous as hell.
Jaxon was wearing a plain white shirt and track pants, the bulge at the front rather obvious.
She looked away and shuffled back, giving him room. “Come on in.”
Jaxon’s brows furrowed at her demeanour. He closed the door behind him and touched her face. “Everything okay?”
Her lips tugged up. “Yeah.”
“Change your mind?” he asked softly.
She let out an embarrassed laugh. “Um… not really. I just… I was just thinking that I might be giving you the wrong impression.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want you to think I’m not serious about this. I mean, I know we’re nowhere near serious, but it’s not about just a short fling for me. I’m mean, I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way, but I’m really after something serious. Oh, God, I’m just babbling here.”
She covered her face in mortification. How desperate had she just sounded? What was she trying to do? Scare him off?
“Hey.” Jaxon took her hands and squeezed them.
Her heart thudded, and her fears started to dissipate at the wide grin on his face.
“Didn’t we have a good conversation earlier?”
She nodded.
“Not once did I think you invited me up here because you only wanted something casual. I know you called me because, like me, you were still thinking of the hot make-out session we had earlier. That’s all. We agreed to date and get to know each other. For me, that means seeing if we have a future together as a couple. I’m not here for a short fling, either.”
Relief washed over Holly. It meant so much to hear him say that.
“So,” Jaxon said, stepping closer to her. “I’d love to stay the night, if that’s okay with you.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Yes, please.”
Jaxon inhaled sharply and bent down to capture her lips. In an instant, they ignited. His kiss was hot and devouring, and she was more than eager to return it in kind.
Jaxon pushed aside the strap of her top and started kissing her neck.
She moaned, flicking her hair out
of the way and lifting her head to give him more access. Then she sneaked her hands under his shirt, running her fingers across the smooth skin of his back, and the top of his butt.
Jaxon groaned, cupping her ass and pulling her closer.
God, he was already hard—much harder than he’d been earlier. But then she knew she was already soaking, and they’d only just started.
Jaxon shifted them, and she felt her back against the door. Not wanting to be outdone by the ardent kisses he was showering on her face and neck, she ground her hips against his, wanting him to know that she was just as hungry as he was.
“Hols,” he moaned, impatiently pushing her strap further down her arm until a breast popped out of her tank. Then her nipple was in his mouth.
“Ah,” she cried out, desire racing in her veins and congregating in her groin.
“I think this needs to go,” Jaxon murmured, swiftly lifting her top over her head. Then he bent again to flick the bud of her other breast with the tip of his tongue, and his hand crept between their bodies, finding her crotch and rubbing his fingers against her clothing.
“Jax,” she gasped, her head banging on the door. She was burning for him, and with every movement of his fingers, he stoked the fire even more.
Then he was pushing her shorts and panties down her legs. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed against her neck.
She was about to suggest going to her bedroom when his fingers started rubbing her again—this time with nothing in the way. She moaned.
“So wet,” he hissed.
“I want you,” she said unashamedly.
“Like this?” he murmured, concentrating his movements on her swollen clit.
“Oh God.” She shut her eyes and yielded herself to his ministrations. She couldn’t have done anything else but that. Her body stood in surrender, a willing recipient of all this pleasure.
“And this?” Jaxon said before she felt his tongue once again lave a nipple.
When his other thumb started circling the twin bud while a finger continued to play with her clit, loud gasps came out of her, unbidden.
She clutched his shoulders for support, her legs weakening as her pleasure rose higher and higher. Then her body tightened, ecstasy washing over her as she cried out her release.
Jaxon_The Assignment Page 7
