“Hi,” he said, sliding into the booth across from her. He’d debated giving her a quick hug or a kiss on the cheek or some other token of not-enemy-ness, but decided that would be more awkward than not doing anything at all. “I like your hair.”
“Thanks.” She touched it. “I wasn’t sure I was going to like it, but I needed something different, and I let my stylist choose for me.”
“It looks good.” He fingered his menu, wondering where the waitress was. It’s not that she was being slow—he just wanted her to be faster.
“You look good too,” Kassidy said. “Like you’re staying fit.”
“Yeah. As much as I can, given my schedule. Gotta be able to get up the ropes.”
She nodded. “So, the Oregon Coast is really pretty this time of year. You should come out—the wind surfing in some spots is amazing.”
“I’ve heard that.” He couldn’t imagine anywhere in the world he’d want to go less—his ex-wife’s hometown. That would be awkward on a whole new level. “So, you said you had some questions about the job?”
Now the waitress appeared. “Hi! My name is Lindy, and I’ll be your waitress today. What can I get you?”
Kassidy looked surprised. “You refer to yourself as a waitress?”
Lindy blinked. “Um, yes. That’s what I do.”
“Well, it just seems to me that in today’s world, you’d call yourself a server. It’s less demeaning.”
Lindy laughed. “Oh, we don’t worry about that kind of stuff around here. Don’t you think people get a little too worked up about titles and all that? I’m just doing my job—I don’t care so much what it’s called.”
“But it’s part of your identity,” Kassidy insisted. “How you view yourself.”
Lindy considered that. “No, actually, it’s not,” she said thoughtfully. “It’s my job for now, not my career forever. I’m taking online college courses, and I’m going to be a vet and work with Jess and Jake Wheldon in their clinic—they’ve already offered me a job once I’m certified. I mean, I know that’s a ways down the road, but it’s an awesome plan, don’t you think?”
“Yes, I do, and I’m glad you have that mind-set,” Kassidy said.
Apparently, though, Lindy wasn’t finished. “But if waitressing was going to be my career forever, I still don’t think that’s such a bad thing,” she went on. “I’m doing something good for people—I’m feeding hungry stomachs, and that’s one of the best things you can do. Now, what can I get you?”
“I’ll take a black coffee and the Sunrise Special,” Kassidy said, looking a little irritated.
“I’ll have an orange juice and the Bob’s Breakfast platter,” Logan added. He’d liked it so much the first time, he decided it deserved an encore.
“I’ll be right back.” Lindy flashed a smile and walked away.
“You were kind of hard on her, weren’t you?” Logan asked once she was out of earshot. “Not everyone is as . . . progressive as you are.”
“I just don’t like seeing women put themselves in submissive roles,” Kassidy replied.
“Neither do I, but I don’t see her as being submissive. It’s kind of like she was saying—I’m hungry, she’s feeding me, and I’m grateful for that. She’s working hard so I don’t have to be uncomfortable.”
“You think waitressing is a noble calling?” Kassidy sounded surprised.
“I never thought about it before, but yes, I do. And I’m giving her an extra-big tip. She’ll have you to thank for that.”
Kassidy sighed. “And I come off looking like some kind of freak because I want her to have a better life?”
Logan shook his head. This was taking him back three years ago and reminding him of the frequent small arguments they used to have. “No, not a freak. I just think that your idea of a better life might be different from hers.”
“Well, I didn’t come here to argue about differences in socioeconomic standings,” Kassidy said, waving her hand. “I’m here to have a little fun. Mr. Weston—er, Wes—sounds like a nice guy. How is he to work for?”
“I haven’t been here very long as an employee, but he and I were friends years ago, and I know he’s a really good guy,” Logan said. “You know what? We should have invited Paislee to eat with us. She’s the one who actually knows her way around this place. Why don’t I text her?”
“No,” Kassidy said quickly. “I mean, I’m sure she’s great and all . . . wait. Did you say her name was Parsley?”
“No. Paislee. Entirely different.”
“My bad. Anyway, I’m sure she’s knowledgeable and all that, but let’s just keep it to you and me, all right?” Kassidy looked down at her hands where they rested on the table. “I was hoping to catch up with you a little bit, make sure you’re really okay.”
Logan glanced around. Now would be another great time for Lindy to show up . . . no Lindy. “I’m not sure why you want to have that conversation.”
“I’ve felt so bad about everything, and I just need some closure.”
Logan pressed his lips together. How could he respond to something like that? “You need some closure?”
“It would be nice, yes.”
Lindy walked up just then, about ten seconds too late, but he was glad to see the orange juice. He took a sip before replying. “Is it closure you’re looking for, or forgiveness?”
Kassidy reached for the cream. “In this case, they’re probably the same thing.”
“The thing is this, Kass. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what you did was no big deal to me. It means that I choose not to dwell on it, that I don’t wake up every day and think about it and throw darts at your picture. And I did make that choice—I made it a long time ago because I didn’t want to carry it around with me anymore. So, if that’s what you want, you got it.”
“Maybe . . . maybe I was hoping for the first thing. That you’d say it wasn’t a big deal.” Kassidy’s voice was small, smaller than he’d ever heard it. She wasn’t the kind of woman who was used to humbling herself, and he knew this conversation was costing her a lot.
“But it was. It really was. And if you’re feeling guilt about it, maybe that means you know it was too.”
“It’s not like I meant for it to happen . . .”
“Maybe not, but you didn’t mean not for it to happen.”
She blinked. “What?”
Logan looked up as Lindy slid their plates in front of them. “Here you go. Let me know if I can get you anything else.”
“Thanks.” He waited until she walked away. “Look, Kass. Married people have a level of commitment to each other, right? It’s what being married is all about. And when you care about keeping those vows, you show it by how you behave around other men. You don’t hang out with them. You don’t have long giggly phone conversations with them. You don’t meet up for lunch. You said that was all in the name of business, that you wanted to get a sponsor for our company, but as your husband and your business partner, I should have been in on those meetings. It should have been something we did together—it was all just your excuse to go behind my back. You planted the seeds the whole time, and then when it became something more . . .” Logan sighed. “I really don’t want to rehash this, Kassidy. I’ll just say this. People who are committed to their spouses are committed all the time, not just when it’s convenient or when they remember to be. And you weren’t.”
“You’re right—I should have been more careful. I shouldn’t have met with him alone, I shouldn’t have gone out to lunch, I shouldn’t have done any of it. And I didn’t mean to fall for him—that was accidental. I messed up—I know I did. And it’s been eating me up inside ever since.”
“And so . . . what are you hoping I’ll say? Yes, you did mess up. That’s a statement of fact. Yes, I have moved on. Also a statement of fact. What else is there for me to say?”
She poked at her eggs. “That you don’t hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. Done.”
“Then why do I fe
el so horrible?”
Logan felt a pang in his chest. He’d loved this woman once, and yes, she’d hurt him, but that didn’t mean he’d stopped caring about her. “The way I feel doesn’t change the way you feel—only you can change that. And you change it by doing better in the future and letting the past go.”
She wiped her eyes with the tips of her fingers. “You make it sound possible.”
“I think it is possible.”
She sniffed. “Thanks, Logan. You’re being a lot kinder to me than I thought you would be.”
“I’ll be honest—it took me a little while.” He chuckled. “But being angry wasn’t doing me any good. And I realized that even more than cheating on me, you cheated on yourself by not being the kind of person you could be.”
“You’re right. You’re so right.” Kassidy grabbed a napkin from the dispenser and dabbed more tears from her eyes. “It’s been almost impossible to live with myself. And you want to know the stupidest thing? He and I aren’t even together anymore.”
“Yeah, I figured as much.”
“How?”
“A couple who gets together because of infidelity doesn’t tend to stay together. I read an article about it once.”
“Well, we added data to the statistic, I guess.” She took a sip of her coffee. “I guess we’d better eat and get going, huh? Don’t want to be late.”
“No, we don’t.” They still had a little time, but Logan knew her tendency to change the subject when things were getting a little too hard for her to handle. They’d probably done enough soul searching for one day anyway.
***
Paislee climbed the porch steps of the main house and leaned on the railing next to Logan. “Hey, did Kassidy get here all right?”
“She did. We went to breakfast, and now she’s in the office signing her employment paperwork with Wade.”
Paislee felt a twinge of jealousy, which was silly because she had no claim on Logan whatsoever. It was that just she’d had breakfast with him the day before, and now he was having breakfast with someone else, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day . . . and she was making this into something it wasn’t.
She looked up and saw Jaclyn marching up the road, a piglet under her arm. That was unusual—Jaclyn normally carried a rabbit around the ranch with her. “Good morning, Jaclyn,” she called out.
“It’s not a very good morning at all. I found this in my garden shed. I think Jamal miscounted his little piggies. It was cowering under my shelf of pots—although, it’s not a cow. Does that mean it was piggering? At any rate, I’m returning this beast to whence he came.” She kept marching, jaw set and resolute, and Paislee turned to Logan with a grin.
“Oh, my gosh, I love it here,” she said. “This is the best job I’ve ever had in my life.”
“Your coworkers certainly keep things interesting,” he replied with amusement in his voice.
“They sure do.”
Paislee turned again when she heard more voices coming up the road. Kevin and Bridget were chatting animatedly as they approached, but broke off and waved when they saw Paislee and Logan.
“Logan, this is Pastor Kevin, and this is his wife, Bridget. She’s the nurse here on the ranch.”
Kevin shook Logan’s hand. “Have the McClains gotten here yet? I wanted to be here when they showed up.”
“Not yet,” Paislee replied. “But they should have landed about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Good. I’m right on time.” Kevin turned to Logan. “I grew up on the McClain ranch—it’s a place that takes in boys who don’t have much chance at life otherwise. I credit them for everything I’ve become.”
Bridget put her hands on her hips. “Ahem. I believe maybe a little bit of that credit should go over here.”
Kevin put his arm around her shoulders. “What I’ve become recently is all due to my kind, loving, patient, beautiful wife.”
“Thank you. That’s better.” She spoke to Logan. “I hope you’ll love it here, and I hope I won’t see you in the infirmary any time soon.”
Just then, the ranch’s white shuttle van pulled up in front of the house, and six teenage boys and two men piled out. Kevin gave the two men hugs, then showed them inside where they’d check in and register. The six boys stayed outside, stretching their backs and looking around.
“Hey there,” Paislee said to them. “How was your trip?”
“It was great,” one of them replied. “We flew most of the way on a regular plane, and the rest of the way on, like, a baby plane.”
“It wasn’t a baby plane,” another boy corrected.
“I said it was like a baby plane,” the first boy said. “Anyway, it was a great trip.”
Paislee smiled. This should be a fun week. “I’m Paislee, and this is Logan, and we’re two of your guides while you’re here. We’re going to take you rock climbing.”
“That’s so cool!” Two of the boys fist-bumped each other.
“So now you have to tell us your names,” Logan said.
Nick, Hunter, Jose, Christopher, Michael, and Tyler—Paislee didn’t know how she was going to keep them all straight, but she’d definitely try. Then she noticed something unusual. Hunter’s shirt read “Don’t feed the bears” on the front, but on the back, it said, “I’m a bear.”
“Hunter, tell me about your shirt,” she said.
He looked down and then back up, seeming a little embarrassed. “I’ve got a weird medical condition that means I have to eat a certain way,” he replied. “This shirt’s a way of letting people know that I can’t just have whatever they offer me.”
“I think that’s a great reminder—it’ll definitely stick in my head.”
She turned as the door opened and the two McClains stepped out, Wes right behind them, along with a really pretty woman. Like, really pretty—the kind who made her feel plain and awkward. She didn’t have to guess that this was Kassidy—she knew.
Everyone was introduced to everyone all the way around, and she stepped back because it was getting a little crowded there in front of the building. Caleb and Daniel, the two McClains, herded the boys and all their suitcases over to the cabin they’d rented, saying they’d be back in a few minutes for their first rock climbing stint of their trip, and after everyone dispersed, Paislee was left standing there with Logan and Kassidy.
“So, Kassidy, how was your drive?”
“It was good. Very peaceful once I got out of Portland—it gave me a lot of time to think.” Her glance made Paislee feel like she was being measured. “Logan tells me you’re a fantastic guide.”
“I enjoy what I do,” Paislee replied. She didn’t like the dynamic she was sensing, that they were somehow in a competition for Logan’s attention. This woman had been his wife. Paislee wasn’t going to step into the middle of whatever they were dealing with—that was between the two of them.
Wes came back out just then and broke up the building tension. “Today will be fun. Caleb McClain is an experienced climber, so he’ll function as an extra pair of hands, and Daniel is a doctor, so we’ll have our own built-in emergency staff. Bob’s boxing us up some food, which I’ll go pick up now and pack onto my four-wheeler, and we can head out as soon as our group’s done putting their things in their cabin.”
“Did Bob get a note that Hunter needs a special diet?” Paislee asked.
“Yep, it’s in their paperwork, so we’re all set.” He turned to Kassidy. “We’re just tossing you into the mix without a real orientation. I apologize for that.”
She shrugged. “I’m a quick learner. It’s all good.”
Soon, the McClain group came back, laughing and bumping each other’s shoulders as they walked. Caleb seemed to be doing just as much of the laughing and joking as the boys, while Daniel just smiled and shook his head. Paislee was amused at this advance look she was getting of the personalities involved.
After getting all the equipment they’d need for the climb, they doubled up on the four-wheelers and t
ook off. Kassidy hopped on behind Logan like that had been the plan all along, and Paislee rode with Wes. She’d ridden with him plenty of times before, so it’s not like that was any kind of big deal, but when she’d been hoping to ride with Logan . . . well, she shouldn’t have hoped it. Simple.
The boys whooped and hollered when they reached the wall. Caleb and Daniel looked around with appreciation, and Kassidy nodded. “This is a great location,” she said. “You’ve got shade for the people waiting their turn, plenty of variety in handholds and toe holds—this is going to be fun.”
“Let’s break up into a couple of teams,” Wes said to the group. “Because we have so many beginners, we’ll have a guide climb up alongside the first set to offer advice up close. Then we’ll have a guide on the end of each rope to belay. Kassidy, I’ll have you climb up with the beginners, and we have three ropes set to go, so Logan, Paislee, and I will each belay one on the ground.”
“Sounds great,” Daniel replied.
“What we’re doing today is called aid climbing, meaning that your equipment is designed to aid you in getting to the top. Because you’re beginners, this is the best way to go,” Wes continued. “There’s a pulley up at the top, and your climbing rope is threaded through the pulley. You’re on one end, and your guide is holding the other end tight so if you slip, you won’t fall.”
One of the boys—Paislee thought it was Christopher—said, “So . . . we really aren’t going to fall?”
“Nope. You might lose your grip, but you’d just hang there. No falling.”
Christopher slugged Jose’s shoulder. “You said we were going to fall!”
Jose laughed, rubbing his arm. “I didn’t say we were going to. I said we might. There’s a big difference.”
“Not when you know I’m already scared!”
The two good-naturedly bantered for a few minutes, making everyone chuckle. In the chaos of the teasing, Caleb walked up to Wes.
“Hey, Wes? Can I talk to you for a minute?” Caleb said, and Wes nodded.
Caleb stepped off to the side, away from the boys, but not out of earshot of the guides. Paislee assumed this was an “adults only” conversation, and since she was an adult—most of the time—she didn’t feel bad about being able to overhear.
Paislee's Path (River's End Ranch Book 48) Page 5
