When I heard the knock at the door I took a deep breath, gave myself a final once over and opened the door.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi -wow-” Luke said, looking at my robe, “I’m sorry, am I early?”
I smiled and shook my head. “Right on time.”
I moved aside so Luke could enter and I let my hand run down his neck and back as he passed me.
“You look great,” I told him. He wore a light blue button up shirt that made his eyes look amazing. Now that I knew what was under his clothes, I found it hard to stop imaging how I’d like to run my tongue all over his chest.
“So do you,” he said, bringing his hands to my hips. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been thinking about this all week.”
I smiled, happy about his confession, and ran my fingers lightly along his chest, feeling the strong pecs beneath the thin fabric.
“This is nice,” he said, rubbing his hands on the satin of my robe.
“Oh yeah?” I replied, cocking my eyebrow and giving him a little spin. “I hope you aren't too attached. I wasn’t planning on keeping it on long.”
Luke grinned mischievously. “I suspect I’ll like it even more when it’s on the floor.”
I stepped back and undid the sash, slowly working the knot with my fingers. I looked up and caught his eye as I let the robe fall to the floor, revealing the demi-corset I wore underneath. I saw his eyes widen as they took in the way my breasts stood out, nipples already hard with excitement. I tossed my hair and ran my hands along my body, putting on a bit of a show. Luke opened his mouth as if to say something, but no sound came out, and instead he swallowed hard. I walked closer to him, letting my hips sway seductively. When I reached where he stood, I put my hands on his chest and went in for a kiss. Our tongues met with urgency and he wrapped his arms around me. I cupped his ass and let my bare breasts tickle his chest, circling his nipples with my own. I lost myself to the kiss, letting the arousal wash over me in a wave of heat.
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” I said, pulling away from the kiss. I suspected if I didn't lead him to the bed soon we’d never make it there.
I took Luke by the hand and brought him to the foot of the bed. Kissing him gently on the lips, I then shoved his chest, causing him to fall back on the bed. I crawled on top of him, taking time to make my movements slow and deliberate, extending all my actions and building desire. When I reached his mouth I kissed him deeply, letting my tongue tease open his lips. Luke brought his hands to my tits and squeezed them, teasing my nipples with his fingers, causing me to gasp with pleasure. It was as though my skin was suddenly alive with sensation, ultra-sensitive to every touch. I needed to feel his flesh against mine.
Concealing my urgency as best I could, I slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it open so I could rub my hands over his beautiful chest, leaving a tattoo of lines where I scratched my nails across his tender flesh. I touched the top of my tongue to one of his pink eraser nipples and heard him gasp. I did the same to the other nipple, revelling in his reaction, his desire for me.
Working my way back downward, I got onto my knees in order to take off his pants. I undid his belt and pulled them down, leaving him in his boxers. I could see his gorgeous erection through the thin material of his underwear, and the sight of it sent a thrill through my body. This was definitely more than just sexual excitement, it was being with Luke that was making me feel this way. He was the only person I wanted to be with right then. I vowed I would talk to him about that later, but for now, I wanted to act on the more immediate, physical part of my desire.
Luke sat back up, legs hanging off the foot of the bed, and I sat in his lap, straddling him. We made out for what felt like both seconds and an eternity all at once. I could feel his heart beat fast against my chest, echoing my own.
I pulled back a bit and he leaned forward, taking one of my breasts in his mouth and sucking it, drawing a gasp from my lips. He moved to the other one and I pushed him back down on the bed and fell on top of him, our tongues entwined. I brought my hand down to his gorgeous cock and let my fingers glide along its length, squeezing it as I went up and down. Luke was grinding his hips beneath me now, and I took one of his hands and guided it to my pussy. I was delighted when he found the clit right away and, what’s more, seemed to know what to do with it. Before long I felt my body responding to the excitement, and my pussy was wet with anticipation. I pulled back from the kiss and looked him in the eyes.
“You ready?” I asked
Luke nodded. “Yeah, more than ready.”
I smiled and moved to my knees, guiding his cock to my eager slit. Not wanting to rush things, I first only lightly let the tip of his cock enter between my folds. I ground my hips ever so slightly above him, letting his eager member work its way slowly into me.
“That feels fucking amazing,” he gasped.
“It does for me too,” I whispered.
There was some resistance as he penetrated me further, so I braced myself as I eased further down onto his cock, taking in as much of his length as I could until I was completely and wonderfully full.
“Oh my god, Luke,” I moaned, stopping a moment to savour the feeling.
I pulled back until he was nearly completely out of me, then I slid all the way down until our bodies were pressed together perfectly; two pieces of a puzzle. Luke put his hands on my hips and moved in time with my movements, matching me with thrusts of his own. We created our own divine rhythm, lost in a hazy daydream of skin, sweat, pleasure, and lust.
Flattening my body against his, I took hold of his shoulders and gestured for him to roll us over. Luke obliged, and I found myself on my back with him on top of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he renewed his thrusting from above me, my breasts bouncing in time to our movements.
Luke leaned down to kiss me and I ground my hips against his as hard as I could, making him moan into my mouth. I knew it wouldn't be long now, and I increased the urgency of my movements, as did he.
The orgasm gained momentum, rushing through my nerves seeking escape. It wasn't until I felt him release his orgasm inside me that I came, shouting his name as he twitched those delicious final thrusts into my perfectly satiated and exhausted body.
Luke collapsed on top of me and I hugged him against my body, luxuriating in the feel of his weight on top me and the sensation of being surrounded in his scent.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Luke and I lay side by side on my bed for a while not saying anything. I could have lain like that forever, I think, just silently basking in the afterglow. So often orgasm feels like the end of something, and for once it felt more like a beginning.
“Wow,” said Luke, breaking the silence.
“Wow, indeed,” I responded, fingers idly tracing his chest.
“I had some pretty high expectations for this but, damn, that was incredible.”
I giggled, unable to conceal my delight, and kissed him on the lips.
“It was amazing for me too. I’m really glad we did this.”
“Hey, any time, Cass. You have no idea how happy I am that you suggested this.”
Luke smiled and it gave me butterflies, as his smile always did these days. This seemed like a good a time as any to discuss our feelings about things.
“Hey, my pleasure,” I started, “but listen, about that. You know when we spoke about it, we talked about it being just a sex thing…”
Luke cut me off before I could go any further.
“I know I know, and you don’t have to worry. I’m not gonna get all clingy virgin on you.”
I frowned, “What? No, that’s not what I-”
“I know how much you like to do your own thing and have your adventures or whatever, and I’m not gonna cramp your style. I really appreciate what you did for me, Cassandra. I don’t want you to like, be my girlfriend because of this. Don’t worry.”
I covered my still exposed breasts with the blanket. The corset didn’t make me feel sexy a
nymore. It made me feel stupid and cheap, and more than anything I just wanted to get out of it. I must have used the expression “broken-hearted”, or “you’re breaking my heart” a million times before, but it was only then that I really understood how apt the metaphor was. I swear I could feel the pieces of my heart being chiselled off and shattering in my chest.
“Right, great. Glad we’re on the same page. Would you excuse me a moment?”
I grabbed my robe off the floor and ducked into the bathroom. Making sure the door was locked behind me, I ripped the corset off and tossed it to the ground as though it were contaminated.
I felt like the world’s biggest moron. I had been about to confess my feelings at the exact same time as he was basically thanking me for a sexual transaction. How could I have misread the situation so completely?
Holding back tears, I cleaned myself off as best as I could and threw on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I felt a little less vulnerable and exposed now, both physically and emotionally, but I still wanted to hide in the bathroom forever.
I looked in the mirror and stared my reflection in the eyes.
“If you never go back out there and face him, he’s never going to leave,” I told myself.
I took a deep breath and went out to face Luke.
***
When I got back into the bedroom, now completely covered head to toe, Luke was still naked.
“Oh,” he said, sounding surprised, “I didn’t realize we were getting dressed now.”
“Well, it’s getting pretty late,” I said, pointing to an imaginary watch on my wrist, “I figured we should probably call it a night.”
“I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow morning,” he said as he came up behind me to pull me close to him, “I could spend the night and we could mess around some more, grab some breakf-”
I moved out of his reach and went to make the bed.
“That sounds great Luke, but I’m gonna have to take a rain check. I have TONS of shit to do tomorrow, and I really need a good night’s sleep.”
I picked up his clothes and handed them to him.
Luke looked puzzled, but started to get dressed. “Oh, OK. Did I do something wrong?”
“No, of course not,” I stopped fussing with the bed and flashed as sincere a smile as I could muster, “I’m just tired and I have a lot do this weekend, that’s all.”
“Oh, alright then. I guess I’ll see you Monday,” He said, furrowing his brow.
He didn't look like he believed me, but I didn't care. I just wanted him out of there as soon as possible so he wouldn't see my stupid feelings.
“Right,” I said, leading him to the exit, “Monday morning bright and early!”
I opened the front door and nearly shoved him out.
“OK, have a great evening!!” I shouted, managing to close the door just as the first tear rolled down my cheek.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The second he was gone, I jumped in the shower, relieved to finally be alone. I let my tears get lost in the water pouring down my face, and wondered how this could have happened. The whole point of casual sex was to not have to deal with feelings, and here I was dealing with more feelings than I remembered having in the last ten years of my life.
I put on a pair of pyjamas and called Julian.
“You better not be calling me mid-coitus, girl.”
“Ugh, gross! I’m calling you mid-freak out.”
“Jesus, was he that bad?”
“No,” I said, wincing, as the vivid memory of Luke on top of me flashed across my mind, “it was fine. Great, even.”
“So?”
“So you were right, you fucking mind reader. I have feelings.”
“Ha! I knew it!” Julian whooped, obviously thrilled at having been right.
“Yeah, yeah, you know everything, congratulations. I guess the joke is on me though, because he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“That skinny white boy you work with? Honey, I met him when I came down to visit, remember? I saw how he looked at you; that boy is infatuated. Believe me, I know a thing or two about infatuation.”
“Maybe he was, but he’s not anymore. He was pretty explicit about not wanting me to be his girlfriend.”
“What? That doesn’t sound like him.” Julian said, the disbelief clear in his voice.
“Well, that’s what happened.”
There was silence on the other end as Julian tried to find something suitably comforting to say.
“He’s a nerd, Cassandra. He doesn’t have the best social skills. You said so yourself. Maybe there was a misunderstanding.”
I snorted. “I love you Jules, and thank you for trying to make me feel better, but you weren’t there. It was awful. I think it’s best I just forget about this whole thing. He got what he wanted; now he can go fuck his way across town. Maybe I will too, now that I think of it.” My mind flashed back to nude picture from Dan the week before. Maybe the offer was still on the table?
“Well, you do whatever you want, honey,” said Julian, “but I think you’re giving up too easy. You gotta let yourself be vulnerable to feel love, you know.”
“Sure Julian. Good night.”
I hung up and let myself fall face down on the bed. I could still smell Luke all over my sheets and it made me feel better, if only for a split second. I fell asleep like that, breathing him in, not caring that once that split second was over, being surrounded in his scent only made the pain worse.
***
The next morning I woke feeling fresh as a daisy...until the memory of the night before hit me like a ton of bricks.
I wasn’t sure what made me feel worse: the fact that he didn’t feel the same way as me, or the fact that I had reacted so dramatically. Looking back, what he said obviously hadn’t been meant to hurt me, and it wasn’t as though it came out of left field or anything. He probably didn’t even know I had feelings for him.
Well, maybe he didn’t before, I thought, now that you freaked out all over him he probably figured it out.
I liked to think of myself as pretty tough; someone who kept her shit together and let things roll off her back. I didn’t like all these wild emotions and this emerging vulnerability. Not one bit.
“Fuck that!” I said aloud. I wasn’t interested in sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I grabbed my phone and sent a message to Dan.
Been a while. Tonight?
I pressed send and was about to toss the phone aside when it buzzed in my hand.
That was fast, I thought, he must want it bad.
Instead, I found a message from Luke.
Hey, are we cool? You seemed kind of upset last night.
My face reddened in humiliation. Great, my stupid meltdown had not gone unnoticed.
Yeah, I’m just moody when I’m tired :) Have a great weekend!!!!
I packed on the exclamation points in the hope that it would look extra cheerful. I threw the phone aside, determined not to let Luke’s message spoil my mood, and went to take a shower.
The water felt great on my skin and I let it metaphorically wash away any bad feelings I had about the night before. I had some great sex, had a great orgasm, and helped a nervous dude get over his social handicap. All good things; why not just leave it at that?
My phone beeped: a message from Dan. I smiled to myself.
You see that? Best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody.
I was still smiling when I opened the text message, but stopped pretty quickly when I saw it.
Sorry babe, I have a date.
I threw my phone on the bed in disgust.
“Whatever,” I said to the empty apartment, “Fuck everybody else. I can have fun alone.”
I changed back into my sweats and grabbed my phone, ordering from my favourite Chinese takeout place. While I waited for the delivery guy, I passed the time deciding what movie to watch. I had just made my choice when the doorbell rang. The smell wafting from the bags of food made my mouth water and
I paid the delivery guy quickly, excited to begin my feast.
Before I even had a chance to put the food down, there was another knock at the door.
Shit, I thought, did I not count out the tip correctly?
I swung open the door, anxious to get this over with and get to my food, and found a serious looking Luke standing on my doorstep.
CHAPTER NINE
“Uh, hi,” I blurted out from behind my stack of Chinese food containers.
“Hey. Are you having a party?” he asked.
“No, this is just my supper,” I said.
“Are you sure you don’t have people coming over? That’s a lot of food for one person.”
“Look, fuck you OK?” I said, embarrassed and still recovering from the shock of his being there, “I like getting enough for leftovers.”
Luke held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, no judgment. Can I come in, or are you too busy with,” He gestured towards my food. “This?”
I glared at him. “Come in.”
I turned my back on Luke and went into the kitchen, letting him close the door. I wasn’t thrilled about him seeing me in my bumming around clothes, but at least I had showered and put makeup on. Thank God for small miracles.
“So what are you doing here?” I asked, “I figured you’d be out banging everything on two legs by now.”
Luke raised an eyebrow. “Right, because that’s how I usually spend my Sunday nights.”
I felt stupid for taking such a nasty tone with him.
He didn’t do anything wrong, I reminded myself, and you still have to work with this guy, so you may want to make nice.
My stomach rumbled loudly and I knew if I didn’t eat soon it would be a bad scene all around.
“Do you want to join me?” I said, changing the subject, “I was going to watch a documentary about sharks, and as you pointed out, I have plenty of food.”
Luke grinned. “That sounds great.”
The IT Guy Page 3
