With My Last Breath, Book Three

by Cori Chaffee

  ‚I’m much better now, my love,' I answered softly. ‚I’m happy to be with you.'

  He grinned a cocky grin, one that was still laced with concern. ‚Heleyne, there are better ways than this to spend time with me, I assure you.'

  I laughed and he laughed with me, his voice husky and rich. I felt like I could take a bath in the sound.

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  With My Last Breath, Book Three

  A soft knock resounded on my open door and I glanced up. An old medicine woman creeped into the room, her back hunched and her face concealed by a heavy black hood. She trudged across the room, my mother following on her heels.

  With one arm, she motioned Lucan to move away from me. He stood, but I could feel his reluctance as he lingered close by.

  ‚Move,' she hissed to him. ‚I do not want you here.'

  Lucan’s head jerked up and he glared at her. ‚Old woman, I would like to see you make me leave,' he thundered. ‚This woman will be my wife. I will know what ails her.'

  The old woman turned to him, her fragile back humped grotesquely. ‚And you shall. You shall know when I tell you. But you will wait in the hall. Go.'

  The look on Lucan’s face was priceless because for once, he was speechless. The woman, who could barely be four feet tall, certainly knew no fear. I spoke up.

  ‚My love, I will be fine. We’ll send for you when she is finished. Trust me, I feel better already.'

  He glared once more at the old woman before bending to brush a kiss on my forehead.

  ‚I’ll be waiting,' he assured me. I nodded and watched him stride across the room and disappear into the hall.

  After he left, the old woman slowly turned to me and I gasped.

  She was the same woman who had brought Cleopatra and I the deadly snakes in ancient Alexandria. Was nothing ever what it appeared? What kind of tricks were the Fates playing? Was everything simply a game to them? I turned to my mother and found the same startled look. She recognized the woman, too.

  The old woman’s face was ancient, thick wrinkles lining it. She was the oldest living person that I’d ever seen. Her curled fingernails rasped against my clothing as she began to undo my buttons.

  ‚What are you doing?' I asked, pushing her hands away. ‚I feel much better now. I can keep my clothing on.'

  ‚Heleyne,' my mother interrupted. ‚Let her examine you. You really don’t look well.'

  I glared at my mother for a moment before allowing the old woman to continue her examination. Nausea threatened to overwhelm me with every breath that I took.

  There was definitely something wrong with me.

  The old crone took several minutes unbuttoning my gown and then she shoved it out of her way as she felt along my back, her calloused fingers trailing along my skin.

  Goosebumps formed wherever she touched. Her fingers drifted along my spine, up to my neck, back down to my sides.

  ‚Lie back,' she instructed gruffly.

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  With My Last Breath, Book Three

  ‚Your bedside manner could use some work,' I grumbled as I complied with her request. My head rested in my pillows and I tried to imagine that I was anywhere other than here as the old woman’s probing hands explored every inch and orifice of my body. I kept my eyes glued to the stone ceiling as she pushed my legs apart, my thoughts firmly with Lucan.

  Finally, she raised her head and stood upright.

  ‚You will be fine,' she announced matter-of-factly. ‚You are with child.'

  ‚With child?' My jaw dropped open. ‚You must be joking. You’re mistaken- that’s impossible.'

  I could feel my mother’s eyes frozen on me as I stared at the old woman. She nodded once again, her leathery face impassive.

  ‚I do not make mistakes,' she confirmed. ‚You are with child. I am certain.'

  She drew a handful of sage from her robes and laid it on my nightstand.

  ‚Burn this in your rooms,' she instructed. ‚It will ward away evil spirits. Some spirits try to take the unborn.'

  She turned and trudged toward the doorway. I was in too much shock to reply. My hands automatically flew to my stomach, which was still completely flat. In wonder, I flattened my hand out, gripping at my belly. Could it be true?

  ‚I don’t know,' my mother answered my silent question, crossing to sit next to me.

  ‚I don’t see how.'

  ‚I’ve always thought that I was barren,' I continued, still palming my belly. ‚The Fates always told me that Keepers couldn’t have children. But obviously, I’m not a Keeper, so… ‚

  ‚So, maybe it is true,' Guinevere acknowledged. ‚The Fates cannot control you as a goddess. They could only control your mortal form.'

  ‚But I’m in mortal form now,' I replied in confusion. ‚So I don’t understand how it could be.'

  My mother was already shaking her head. ‚Your body here is mortal, but you’ve already been awakened as a goddess. As long as you are aware of it, you are a goddess no matter what body you are in.'

  ‚But how can this body be pregnant?' I wondered, still completely in awe at the idea. I would be a mother?

  My mother chewed at her lip. ‚If I had to guess, I would say that you brought the pregnancy with you. It makes sense. You and Cadmus were together in the Spiritlands, were you not?'

  My cheeks flared as I nodded. This simply wasn’t something that anyone wanted to discuss with her mother. But she was right. We had been together in the Spiritlands… beginning in Eris’ bathroom and then again in Zeus’ palace. It truly did make a pregnancy possible.

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  ‚Then, I do think that you brought the pregnancy with you,' she concluded. ‚Your mortal body isn’t pregnant, your true body is. Once you leave this place, Heleyne will no longer be pregnant. You will take it with you to the Spiritlands.'

  ‚As confusing as that sounds, that makes sense,' I agreed. ‚Which means that we will need to rush our business here. Heleyne is not meant to be pregnant. We cannot have her body begin to show.'

  ‚I agree,' my mother said. ‚But we should rush anyway. We absolutely must find that sword and soon.'

  She sank onto the bed next to me, pulling me into a hug.

  ‚Congratulations, daughter,' she beamed. ‚We shall have to restore the palace nursery in Olympus. I cannot wait to spoil this child. Although, I must say, I’m too young to be a grandmother.'

  ‚You’ll be the most beautiful grandmother on the face of the planet. You are ageless,' I assured her. ‚But this brings with it so many complications. We are in Camelot, Cadmus is trapped in the Wastelands, the future of the Spiritlands is uncertain…'

  ‚The future is not uncertain,' Guinevere stated firmly. ‚We will save the future.

  We have no choice. For now, all you can do is use caution and protect the child that you carry. All will work out, daughter.'

  She smiled Aphrodite’s smile at me and I couldn’t help but return it. I was pregnant. It was a miracle. I was filled with such a feeling of wonder that I could hardly contain it. My mother beamed at me once more as she stood.

  ‚I’ll leave you to rest,' she said as she walked toward the door. ‚And I’ll send Lucan in. I’m sure he’s beside himself right now. Do not tell him,' she cautioned.

  ‚I won’t,' I answered as I nestled into the softness of my pillows. Lucan was beside me in one minute flat, sliding up next to me, wrapping me inside his strong arms.

  ‚The queen said that you are fine?' he inquired, nuzzling the back of my neck.

  ‚That you just got too warm. Is that correct?'

  No, I’m carrying your child, I wanted to say. But of course, I did not.

  ‚Yes, my sweet. It is just as I thought. These skirts do get warm in the heat. I feel so much better now,' I assured him. Ecstatic, exuberant and joyful, to be exact.

  ‚Do not scare me like that again,' he instructed, pulling me closer into the warmth of his hard che
st and I inhaled his masculine scent. He smelled like the outdoors.

  ‚I won’t,' I promised as my heavy eyelids closed. I was so weary. It felt as though every cell in my body was tired and I knew a nap would do me good.

  But even still, sleep wouldn’t come to me. All I could think of was how much I wanted to share my miraculous news with Cadmus. He was going to be a father and he didn’t even know.

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  As I snuggled deeper into Lucan’s arms the strangeness of my current situation hit me. I was here with my husband, but he was in another body and didn’t know who and what we were. I was pregnant with his baby, but I couldn’t tell him because he had impregnated me from his god form, not his mortal form. And I couldn’t tell him in his true form because he was trapped by the Fates in some godforsaken wastelands. If I hadn’t known it before, I would certainly know it now. The Fates were cruel, cruel beings.

  At long last, my eyes grew too heavy and I felt myself drift into slumber. And almost immediately, I found myself standing face to face with my husband amid swirling white wind.

  ‚You’re pregnant?' he asked incredulously.

  Unfortunately, although amazement and joy was inflected in his tone, I knew he didn’t feel it in his heart. He wanted to, but he couldn’t muster it up in this horrible place.

  I nodded. ‚How did you know?'

  He shook his weary head. Lines were etched on his face now, lines that hadn’t been there before. The wastelands were hard on him and I ached to take him from here. I had never felt so helpless.

  ‚I do not know. Every once in awhile, something just occurs to me. I don’t know how. It is just dropped into my mind.'

  I thought on that for a moment as the wind whipped my skirts around me. Was it possible that he was inadvertently gleaning information through his life as Lucan?

  He paused and ran his gaze up and down my length. ‚By the gods,' he breathed.

  ‚You’ve traveled time again, haven’t you?'

  I nodded. ‚Yes,' I answered. ‚It was necessary. I think Zeus’ sword is in Camelot.

  We’ve returned there to find it so that I can save you.'

  He examined my clothing once again, his eyes widening.

  ‚You’re in Camelot?' he asked in shock. ‚Do you remember how dangerous it is there for you? I have no wish for you to be there. You must return to the Spiritlands.

  We’ll find some other way to get to the sword.'

  ‚There is no other way, my love,' I shook my head. ‚We’ll find it, I’ll return, then I’ll save you.'

  ‚And then you’ll spend all of eternity reminding me of that?' he raised his eyebrow humorlessly. Again, it was something that he would normally say in jest, but it was apparent that all laughter was gone from his heart.

  ‚I’m going to be a father,' he marveled as his jaw clenched. ‚I can’t believe it, Harmonia. What a blessing!'

  ‚Yes,' I whispered. ‚And I cannot wait to get you back home so that we can truly celebrate it in the happiness that it deserves.'

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  ‚I’m sorry, wife,' he murmured, pulling me to him. ‚I will be happy. I promise it.

  This place sucks every emotion out of me, I cannot help it. But I do love you. And I will love our child. It will be the most loved child in the history of the world.'

  Tears streamed down my cheeks, soaking the front of his tunic, as sadness for what I was now missing overwhelmed me.

  ‚I know, Cadmus. Ours will be the luckiest child in the world.'

  He glanced down at me. ‚So, you’ve managed a way to be with me, even though I am trapped here. You’ve always been wily, wife.'

  I smiled against his chest. ‚It wasn’t my purpose, but I will admit that being with you as you are Lucan is a comfort to me right now. I miss you so much, Cadmus. But I am trying my best to save you. We will beat them, I promise you that.'

  He nodded silently, his large hand stroking my back.

  ‚I know,' he answered. ‚I have faith in you, Harmonia. But leave here now. You don’t belong here.'

  And I was awake.

  Lucan was stroking my back in the same way as Cadmus had been a moment ago, his long fingers splayed across my hip identically. And although it was comforting, it wasn’t quite the same. Somehow, even though I had loved Lucan with every ounce of my heart, Cadmus was who owned it.

  A large part of Cadmus existed in every mortal life that he had lived, but he wasn’t truly himself except for when he was Cadmus. It was more pressing than ever that I get him back - not only for me, but for our child. I curled my hand against our unborn child protectively and closed my eyes once more.

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  With My Last Breath, Book Three

  Chapter Ten

  The castle herald woke me from my nap with a bugle and his grating shout.

  ‚Hear ye, hear ye! The royal tournament will continue as planned for this eve. A feast will ensue after.' I could tell that he passed beneath my window and then continued onward, because his annoying voice grew more distant. ‚Hear ye, hear ye!...'

  I rolled to my side and found Lucan’s eyes open. His arm was under my shoulders.

  ‚King Arthur is still having the joust' I asked. ‚Even after the massacre of the peasants?'

  Lucan shrugged. ‚I believe he probably wants life to continue as normal, as much as possible. Why should we allow the Saxons to change what we do?'

  ‚Or the Romans?' I added. ‚It could be either, from what I heard.'

  ‚True,' he acknowledged. ‚Although, my lady, this is something that you do not need to concern yourself with. That is my job as your man. I won’t allow harm to come to you.'

  At times like this, I did truly miss Cadmus. Cadmus, in his true form, knew very well that I was perfectly equal to him in every way. In our earlier mortal lives, not so much. I swallowed my annoyance and smiled cockily.

  ‚Yes, Lucan. You are correct. I should sit by the fire and embroider something.'

  He grinned. ‚You’re such a cheeky one, Heleyne. Anyway, it is too hot to sit by a fire. You’ll have to sit outdoors in the shade or in the queen’s bower.' I swung around and punched him on the arm and he laughed.

  ‚You’re not meek enough by half,' he observed. ‚But I love you to distraction.'

  ‚As I love you,' I answered softly, stroking his bulging muscle where I had just punched him. ‚But do not become distracted this day, Lucan. Not at the joust.'

  He rolled his eyes as he stood.

  ‚Must you think so little of me?' he looked toward the ceiling in mock despair.

  ‚Do you think me so unskilled? I will win tonight, my lady. For you. Shall I carry your favors?'

  ‚Of course,' I replied lightly, rising from the bed to choose a red scarf from my armoire. ‚We’ll tie this around your arm.'

  He took it and bowed low. ‚I will have my squire see to it,' he said obediently with a grin. ‚And I will win the tournament for you.'

  ‚Only for me?' I asked doubtfully. ‚Not for the fame and glory?'

  He shook his head. ‚Only for you. I will hand your scarf back to you as a champion.'

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  I shook my head with a smile as he dipped to kiss me and walked from my rooms.

  I took one moment to straighten my disheveled hair and set out to find my mother.

  It wasn’t hard. She was overseeing the servants who were setting up the seats for the joust. I crossed the field to the side of the castle, treading across the wildflowers and grass that led to the jousting arena.

  One side of the arena backed up to the cliffs that the castle itself was situated on. I stood on the edge for a moment, looking down. The ocean crashed below me, magnificent and strong, with sandy beaches unfurling for miles on each side. Amid the call of the seagulls and the smell of sea salt, I closed my eyes with
the sun on my face.

  The baby was rapidly stealing my energy and I would swear that I could fall asleep in this standing position if I stayed still too long. Shaking the weariness from my eyes, I turned to meet my mother.

  On either side of the arena, wooden tiered benches were arranged for the crowds.

  On the far end, a box filled with seats sat, with a bright green canopy snapping in the wind. Arthur’s green crest hung in front, just below the seat that he would sit in, if he didn’t participate. However, there was seldom a joust in which he did not participate.

  His seat, like normal, would sit empty today.

  Next to him, was Guinevere’s seat and my own, as well as several other chairs for visiting dignitaries and any noblemen of the kingdom who were in attendance. From this vantage point, we had a perfect view of the tournament. Any time a knight crashed into the dust, his lance splintered, we would see it perfectly. And to be honest, right now I just didn’t have the stomach for it. Men from this era so loved blood and sport.

  ‚I wish that Arthur would cancel this today,' Guinevere muttered as she straightened the chairs that we would sit in. Turning, she took a vase of flowers from a servant girl and placed them on a pedestal in the corner of the gallery box.

  I didn’t know why she bothered. The smell of the roses would not come close to overpowering the strong scents of horses, manure, dust and blood that would fill this stadium in a little while.

  ‚We do not have time for this,' she grumbled to me. She looked at the servant girl who was patiently waiting for further orders.

  ‚You may go,' she nodded kindly to the girl. The girl turned and walked down the steps leading to the gallery and Guinevere looked back to me.

  ‚Well? What say you? We do not have time for this.'

  ‚What would you like me to say, mother?' I stared at her in exasperation.

  Aphrodite had such a tendency to work herself up into a frenzy and expected that her agitation would spill to everyone around her. And sometimes it did. But not today.