by Nicola Marsh
‘No, I’m right for now. Thanks for your help.’
She stood quickly, grasping the information he’d thrust at her to her chest like a shield, and made for the door.
‘Miss Lewis?’
She paused and turned back. ‘Yes?’
‘Congratulations. Bringing a baby into this world is a truly wonderful experience.’
Easy for him to say. He was a man.
She managed a grim smile, which must’ve come out more like a grimace, and tore out of the room, stuffing the information into her handbag, desperately craving fresh air and a reality check.
‘Hey, wait up!’ Hallie called out, and she forced her feet to stop.
She needed time to compute what the doctor had just told her, and if her overzealous friend got wind of her predicament the news would travel around RX with the speed of a film on fast-forward.
‘What’s wrong? Are you all right?’
Kristen nodded, knowing nothing would ever be right again. ‘Some viral bug.’
Hallie’s eyes narrowed as if she didn’t believe a word of it. ‘Why were you tearing out of here like a bat out of hell?’
‘Fresh air.’
Kristen fanned her face, pretending a slight stagger, and Hallie made a ‘be right back’ sign at the medical receptionist and hauled Kris outside before she collapsed.
Taking in deep breaths, and feeling like the worst kind of fraud for deceiving the closest person she had to calling a friend, Kristen braced herself against a stubbly brick wall.
‘Must be some virus to make you faint,’ Hallie said, her head cocked to one side like a curious sparrow.
‘Mmm,’ Kristen mumbled noncommittally, wondering when she legally had to inform RX about her condition.
Her condition.
She’d hated hearing pregnancy labelled that way in the past, like it was an illness and not a natural part of life. The women she’d worked with had been having babies, not suffering from some debilitating sickness, yet colleagues had blamed the slightest thing—from a missed meeting to a late memo—on their ‘condition’.
She hadn’t fought it back then, not deeming it relevant, but boy did she have a different outlook now. The first person to label her with a ‘condition’ would get slugged. Though that could just be the irrational hormones kicking in and making her want to slug anybody, including the infuriating guy who’d got her into this predicament in the first place.
‘Ready to go back inside? I’m sure that beady-eyed woman thought we were running out of there without paying. Typical receptionist!’
Hallie rolled her eyes, and Kristen laughed for the first time in hours.
Hopefully, she could be that self-deprecating when the time came for her to face the inevitable sly comments about her pregnancy.
Suddenly grateful for Hallie’s presence, she reached out and squeezed her hand. ‘Thanks for being here. You’ve done nothing but make me feel welcome since I started at RX, and I really appreciate it.’
Hallie blushed. ‘No worries. For an uptight exec, you’re okay.’
‘Enough with the compliments.’ Kristen matched her smile, and turned back towards the medical centre before swinging to face Hallie. ‘Can you do me a favour?’
‘Sure.’
‘Let Nathan know I’m fine? I think he kind of freaked out when I fainted in that meeting, and said he’d ring me later, but I just want to head home and go to bed.’
‘No worries, I’ll tell him,’ Hallie said, bristling like a protective feline before continuing. ‘He’s a great boss, though, isn’t he? Not many bigwigs would take an interest in their employees like he does.’
Kristen stilled. Was Hallie fishing for info? Had she sensed a past connection between Nate and herself?
‘I’ve worked with worse,’ she said, keeping her voice devoid of emotion, hoping to nip Hallie’s possible fishing expedition in the bud. ‘Now, let me pay this bill, organise taxis for us and head home. I’m beat.’
‘Okay.’
Hallie didn’t push the issue, and Kristen attributed her comments to the run-of-the-mill frank statements the receptionist was famous for.
Hallie thought the boss was great?
Well, Kristen would soon find out if that was true once Nate heard that his newest executive was pregnant.
More importantly, that he was the father.
‘Though I’ll share the taxi to your place, then head home from there.’
Kristen opened her mouth to argue, but Hallie held up a hand. ‘It’s not open for debate. Besides, this may be the only chance I ever get to boss you around.’
Hallie winked, and in a small way Kristen was happy to have the company home. Chatting to Hallie might keep her mind off her predicament—for all of two seconds.
She paid the bill and called a cab, her head spinning the entire time, and thankfully Hallie kept up a steady stream of conversation until they reached her place.
However, as soon as she laid eyes on her terrace house, a thousand doubts plagued her: could she bring up a child in a place like this? Was it too small? What about the steep stairs—and the split-level lounge? And her totally impractical furniture?
‘Kris, are you okay?’
Hallie covered her hand with hers, and with that small, caring gesture Kristen snapped and burst into tears.
Not dainty tears, but huge drops which trickled down her cheeks at the speed of light and plopped onto her cream linen skirt, accompanied by sobbing and hiccups and the works.
‘I’ll take it from here,’ Hallie said, thrusting the fare at a bemused taxi driver and assisting her out of the taxi like an invalid.
‘I’m sorry,’ Kristen murmured, trying to stem the tears, only to find they flowed faster as she unlocked her front door and stumbled into the hallway.
‘Hey, don’t apologise. Viruses can make us do strange things.’ By the dubious look on Hallie’s face, she didn’t believe the virus story for a second. ‘Now, sit down and I’ll get you something to drink. What would you like?’
‘Water, please. Kitchen’s through there.’
‘I’ll find my way around,’ Hallie said, casting her a concerned look before hurrying away, giving Kristen valuable time to regain control.
She never cried. Ever.
She’d had plenty of opportunity in the past thanks to her upbringing, but tears had been seen as a sign of weakness by bullies, and she’d soon learned to never give them an inkling of her emotions.
Now, it looked like the floodgates had opened and wouldn’t stop in a hurry.
‘Here you go.’
Hallie thrust a tall glass of water into her hand and plopped onto the couch next to her, waiting till Kristen had drained most of it and her tears had subsided before speaking.
‘You know I’m your friend, right?’
Kristen nodded, surprised to find she did consider Hallie a friend. They’d bonded over a few coffees at work, and she’d almost blurted the sorry tale about Nate’s cold treatment several times but had stopped at the last minute, aware that loose lips sunk executive producers’ ships.
However, if ever she needed a friend, it was now.
‘In that case, why don’t you really tell me what’s going on?’
Kristen opened her mouth to fob Hallie off, to repeat the virus story, to give her any number of false platitudes.
Instead, ‘I’m pregnant,’ popped out.
Hallie’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. ‘You’re preggers? For real?’
‘Oh, yeah, it’s real,’ Kristen said, rubbing her flat belly in a reflex action, finding it almost impossible to equate herself—the ultimate career girl—with a mother. ‘The doc just told me. I had no idea.’
‘Wow.’
Hallie collapsed back against the cushions, her stunned look soon replaced by the cheeky grin Kristen had grown accustomed to. ‘So, who’s the father? Anyone I know?’
Hallie’s exaggerated, conspiratorial wink should’ve made Kristen laugh. Instead, dre
ad shot through her at the thought of anyone at work finding out Nate was the father before he did.
Forcing a nonchalant tone, Kristen said, ‘No.’ Not a lie, exactly. The Nate she’d known for that one brief, magical night in Singapore was nothing like the Nathan Boyd, CEO that Hallie knew.
‘So you’re doing this on your own? That’s pretty brave.’
‘Actually, I have no idea what I’m going to do.’
Hallie’s grin faded. ‘You’re going to keep it, right?’
‘Uh-huh.’
Kristen’s tentative response encapsulated her doubts. She’d never have contemplated any other outcome than going through with this pregnancy. But not wanting this baby had nothing to do with her lifestyle or job, and everything to do with the gut-wrenching fear which had gnawed at her since childhood; the soul-destroying fear that she’d never be a good mother because she’d never had one herself.
Being shunted from foster home to foster home had taken care of that, where the women so casually labelled ‘mothers’ hadn’t known the first thing about caring or nurturing a child. Instead, their focus had been strictly on the dollars allocated by the government for the care of parentless kids like her, and she’d grown to hate their cold, callous indifference.
‘You don’t sound terribly convinced.’
Straightening, Kristen said, ‘I’m having this baby.’
She might not have the foggiest idea how to be a good parent, but suddenly she knew she could do a darn sight better job than the poor excuses that had raised her.
‘Fabulous!’ Hallie clapped her hands like an excited two-year-old. ‘I can be a surrogate aunt. Though I still think you’re super-brave to be doing this alone.’
Kristen shrugged, strangely uncomfortable with an admiration she didn’t deserve. ‘Not really. There are tonnes of single parents out there. I’m just adding to the statistics.’
‘Yeah, but a baby? Man, is that going to cramp your style.’
Hallie’s eyes sparkled as she sent a pointed look at her fitted skirt and matching jacket. ‘Especially your clothes style. Mind if you throw a few casts-offs my way? Your clothes are to die for.’
Kristen chuckled. Nothing fazed Hallie, even an unexpected pregnancy, and she hoped Nate took the news as well.
‘I hate to tell you, but I won’t be the size of a house for long. I plan on getting back into my clothes one day.’
‘Too bad.’
Hallie smiled and smothered her in a hug. ‘Actually, this is cool. It’s the best news I’ve heard in ages. Congrats, Kris. You’re going to be a great mum.’
‘Thanks,’ Kristen mumbled after disengaging from Hallie’s bear hug, gulping the rest of her water to dislodge the lump of emotion stuck in her throat, fervently hoping the tears wouldn’t start again.
‘You know you can count on me, right?’
Kristen nodded and made a frantic grab for a tissue out of her handbag, dabbing at her eyes before she turned on the waterworks again.
‘Stop trying to make me cry,’ she sniffled, while Hallie grinned and slid an arm around her shoulders.
‘Okay. I’ll stop. And, by the way, don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.’
‘It better be. I haven’t had a chance to tell Nathan yet.’
Hallie gave her a comforting squeeze. ‘The boss will be fine about it. He’ll hire a maternity-leave replacement for your position, and you’ll be back before you can say “pooey nappy”.’
‘I hope you’re right,’ Kristen said, sending her friend a watery smile.
She had no qualms about Nate accepting the news of her impending maternity arrangements.
It was sharing the news that he was the father of her baby she had her doubts about.
‘What about the dad—are you going to tell him?’
Kristen stiffened. ‘I hadn’t thought that far ahead,’ she said, doing her best to avoid the topic.
‘You know it’s the right thing to do?’
Hallie’s astute stare made Kristen squirm, and she shuffled back on the couch, picked up a cushion and hugged it to her tummy.
‘Right?’ Hallie prompted.
‘Look, I’ve barely absorbed the news myself,’ Kristen said, knowing that no amount of time would make this decision any easier.
‘Well, if you don’t, I think you’re selfish.’
Hallie flopped back and folded her arms, her mouth a ridiculous, sulky pout.
‘Tell me what you really think,’ Kristen muttered, hugging the cushion tighter.
Mostly she agreed with Hallie, but this wasn’t quite that straightforward.
This was Nate they were talking about. The same Nate who had erased that amazing night from his memory banks, the same Nate who had given her the cold shoulder for the last fortnight, the same Nate who was her boss.
Could she really tell him the truth?
Hallie turned to face her, a surprisingly stubborn frown firmly in place. ‘Every parent has a right to know if they have a child. One of my closest friends would’ve given anything to know her dad, but her mum always said he was dead. Well, guess what? Turned out Dad was living around the corner the entire time, and when my friend turned up on his doorstep twenty years later he was ecstatic. Mad as hell at my friend’s mum for cheating him of playing a part in her life all those years, but really chuffed he had a kid. So, unless your baby’s father is an axe-murderer, which I seriously doubt, you should tell him. It’s the right thing to do.’
Kristen had never seen Hallie so serious. Joking around, teasing, flippant, yes. But delivering a stern lecture like that? Uh-uh.
‘You’re probably right, but I just want some time to think this through, okay?’
Hallie deflated, and her trademark smile returned. ‘Okay. But if you don’t you know I’ll be on your case, right?’
‘I know.’
Kristen rolled her eyes, knowing she was lucky to have a friend like Hallie to confide in, especially considering they’d only known each other two weeks.
‘Well, you’ve got some thinking to do, so I’ll leave you to it. Ring me if you need anything.’
‘Shall do.’
Kristen showed Hallie to the door and gave her an impulsive hug, before realising she didn’t have any transport home.
‘Hey, come back inside and I’ll ring for a cab.’
‘Don’t worry about it. I’ll catch a tram. It’ll take me ten minutes to get home, max.’
‘Sure?’
Hallie gave her a gentle shove back through the door. ‘Go. Sit down. Think.’
‘Okay, okay.’ Kristen held up her hands in surrender, smiling as Hallie bounced down the path, and waved till she hit the street corner.
However, her smile faded as she closed the door and silence descended.
Sure, she might have to do a lot of thinking, but did that necessarily mean she’d come up with the right answer? The right answer for them all?
She needed time, time to adjust and figure out what to do.
CHAPTER SIX
NATE braced himself as Kris’s front door creaked open and her frowning face appeared through the crack.
‘Hi, how are you feeling?’
‘Better.’ She opened the door a fraction further, the frown intensifying as she fiddled with a chain. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Sorry to drop by unannounced, but I was worried about you.’
‘You don’t need to be, I’m fine.’
The chain clattered against the door frame, but she didn’t invite him in. Instead, she hid behind the door, only her head visible.
‘Hallie said it’s some kind of virus?’
‘That’s right.’
Her lips compressed into a thin line, and she glared at him like he’d diagnosed her with a terminal illness rather than a transient one.
So much for being concerned. He was floundering here, way out of his depth, and he’d made a major mistake dropping by.
‘I’m glad you’re okay. If you need more time off work,
take it.’
‘I’ll be in first thing in the morning,’ she said, her tone softening as she opened the door wider. ‘Look, you may as well come in now you’re here. I’m just not dressed to receive visitors, and you kind of took me by surprise showing up out of the blue like this.’
‘You sure? I don’t want to impose or anything.’
Her raised eyebrow told him he already had. ‘You better come in before I change my mind and slam the door in your face.’
‘Put like that, how can I refuse?’
He stepped into the hallway, quickly averting his gaze when he caught sight of the long, silky, purple kimono draping the gorgeous body he remembered all too well.
‘The lounge is through there. Make yourself at home while I get dressed.’
He opened his mouth to protest and snapped it shut again. He didn’t want her going to any trouble, especially if she was comfortable, but then having to sit across from her dressed in that sexy robe, wondering if she was naked beneath it, would make him extremely uncomfortable.
She padded up the stairs, her bare feet softly thudding against the worn boards, and he watched her for a moment, admiring the gentle swish of silk around her slim ankles and the way the material draped her toned butt, before heading for the lounge, and not up the stairs like he wanted to.
This was a bad idea.
If seeing her in those sexy suits on a daily basis was bad enough, seeing her in that flowing kimono had set his mind off on tangents he shouldn’t be contemplating.
Stepping into the lounge, he did another double take. The outside of the quaint terrace house had a homely feel to it, with its cream rendering and bottle-green fretwork but this room quickly dispelled that impression with its stark modernistic furniture, all sleek lines and devoid of colour. Beige walls, beige suede suite, and a large beige rug covering the pale floorboards, without a splash of contrasting colour or bright pictures in sight.
Another noticeable absent feature was photos. She’d told him she didn’t have much family apart from two sisters, but it looked like they didn’t rank highly on her scale of personal importance if their absence was any indication. He didn’t have many lying around any more either, but that was because of the painful memories every time he caught an unexpected glimpse of Julia’s smile, or the characteristic sparkle in her eyes he’d loved since high school.
