by James Joyce
Hightime is up: be it down into outs according! When there shall be foods for vermin as full as feeds for the fett, eat on hearth as there’s hot in oven. When every Klitty of a scolderymeid shall hold every yardscullion’s right to stimm her uprecht for whimsoever, whetther on privates, whatther in publics. And when all us romance catholeens shall have ones for all amanseprated. And the world is maidfree. Methanks. So much for His Meignysthy Man! And all his bigattens. So till Coquette to tell Cockotte to teach Connie Curley to touch Cattie Hayre and tip Carminia to tap La Chérie though where the diggings he’s dweellst amongst us here’s nobody knows save Mary. Whyfor we go ringing hands in hands in gyrogyrorondo.
These bright elects, consentconsorted, they were waltzing up their will-side with their princesome handsome angeline chiuff while in those wherebus there wont bears way (mearing unknown, a place where pigeons carry fire to seethe viands, a miry hill, belge end sore footh) oaths and screams and bawley groans with a belchybubhub and a hellabelow bedemmed and bediabbled the arimaining lucisphere. Helldsdend, whelldselse! Lonedom’s breach lay foulend up uncouth not be brooched by punns and reedles. Yet the ring gayed rund rorosily with a drat you for a brat you. Yasha Yash ate sassage and mash, and so foor shay bash, poor Yasha Yash. And you wonna make one of our micknick party. No honaryhuest on our sposhialiste. For poor Glugger was dazed and late in his crave, ay he, laid in his grave.
But low, boys, low he rises, shrivering, with his spittyful eyes and his whoozebecome woice. Ephthah! Cisamis! Examen of conscience scruples now he to the best of his memory schemado. Nu mere for ever siden on the stolen. With his tumescinquinance in the thight of his tumstull. No more singing all the dags in his seng ageng. Experssly at hand counterhand. Trinitatis kink had mudded his dome, peccat and pent fore pree. Hymserf, munchaowl, maden, born of thug tribe into brood blackmail, dooly redecant all-bigenesis’ henesies. He, by bletchendmacht of the golls, proforhim penance and come off enternatural. He, selfsufficiencer, eggscumuddher-in-chaff sporticolorissimo, what though the duthsthrows in his lavabad eyes, make-tomake polentay rossum, after Aasdocktor Talop’s onamuttony legture, out of bianconies, hiking ahake like any nudgemenoughgorude all over Terra-cuta. No more throw acids, face all lovabilities, appeal for the union and play for tirnitys. He, praise Saint Calembaurnus, make clean breastsack of goody girl now as ever drank milksoep from a spoen, weedhearted boy of potter and mudder, chip off old Flinn the Flinter, twig of the hider that tanned him. He go calaboosh all same he tell him out. Teufteuf man he strip him all mussymussy calico blong him all same he tell him all out how he make what name. He, through wolkenic connection, relation belong this remarkable moliman, Anaks Andrum, parleyglutton, pure blood Jebusite, centy procent Erserum spoking. Drugmallt storehuse. Intrance on back. Most open on the laydays. He, A. A., in peachskin shantungs, possible, sooth to say, notwithstanding far former guiles and he gaining fish considerable, by saving grace after avalunch, even while lossassinated by summan, to look most prophitable with glazzy okodoko allserene out of smily skibluh eyes. He repeat of him as pious alios cos he ast for shave and haircut people said he’d shape of hegoat where he just was sheep of herrgott with his tile togged. Top. Not true what chronicles is bringing his portemanteau priamed full potatowards. Big dumm crumm digaditchies say short again akter he coaxyorum pennysilvers offarings bloadonages with candid zuckers on Spinstresses’ Walk in presents to lilithe maidinettes for at bloo his noose for him with pruriest pollygameous inatentions, he having that pecuniarity ailmint spectacularly in heather cliff emurgency on gale days because souffrant chronic from a plentitude of house torts. Colossul rhodomantic not wert one bronze lie Scholarina say when he, greyed vike cuddlepuller, walk in her sleep his pig indicks weg more als femtifem funts. Of so little is her timentiousnest great for greeting his immensesness. Satt soonas sett they were, her uyes as his auriholes. Kaledvalch! How coold one classically? One could naught clitically. Ininest lightingshaft only for lovalit smugpipe, his Mistress Mereshame, of cupric tresses, the formwhite foaminine, the ambersandalled. Good savours queen with the stem of Swuith Aftreck! Fit for king of Zundas! A mish he is as good as a mountain and, holy balm of seinsed myrries, everybody what is found of his gients he know Meistral Wickingson, furframed Noordwogen’s kampften, with complexion of blushing dolomite fanned by ozeon brisees, what naver saw his bedshead farrer and nuver met his swigamore, have his ignomen from prima signation of being Master Milchku, queerest man in the benighted queendom, and, adcraft aidant, how he found the kids. Other accuse about him as lochkneeghed forsunkener, dope in stockknob, all a meltingmoult after rhomatism, purely simply tammy ratkins. The kurds of Copt on the berberutters and their bedaweens! Even was shes whole begeds off before all his nahars in the koldbethizzdryel. No gudth! Not one zouz! They white-liveried ragsups, two Whales of the Sea of Deceit, they bloodiblabstard shooters, three Dromedaries of the Sands of Calumdonia. As is note worthies to shock his hind! Ur greeft on them! Such askors and their ruperts they are putting in for more osghirs is alse false liarnels. The froekenhalted victims! Whore affirm is agains sempry Lotta Karssens. They would lick their lenses before they would negatise a jompetter from his sodalites. In his contrary and on reality, which Bishop Bubwith bares to his whitness in his Just a Fication of Villumses, this Heer Assassor Neelsoen of sorestate hearing, diseased, formerly with Adenoiks, den feed all lighty, laxtleap great change of retiring family buckler, highly accurrect in his everythinks, from tencents coupoll to bargain basement, live with howthhold of nummer seven, wideawake, woundabout, wokinbetts, weeklings, in black velvet on geolgian mission senest mangy yaars, his rear in the lane pictures blanking same with autonaut and annexes, and got a daarlingt babyboy bucktooth, the thick of a gobstick, coming on ever so nerses nursely, gracies to goodess, at 81. That why all parks up excited about his gunnfodder. That why ecrazyaztecs and the crime ministers preaching him mornings and makes a power of spoon vittles out of his praverbs. That why he, persona erecta, glycorawman, arsenicful femorniser, for a trial by julias, in celestial sunhat, with two purses, agitating his theopot with wokkleabout shake, rather uncoherend, from one 18 to one 18 bis, young shy gay youngs. Sympoly for infusing up pritty lipidities to lock up their rhainodaisies and be nice and twainty in the shade. Old grand tut tut toucher up of young poetographies and he turn aroundabrupt red altfrumpishly like hear samhar tionnor falls some make one noise. It’s his last lap, Gigantic, fare him weal! Revelation! A fact. True bill. By a jury of matrons. Hump for humbleness, dump for dirts. And, to make a long stoney badder and a whorly show a parfact sight, his Thing went the wholyway rutup Suffrogate Strate.
Helpmeat too, contrasta toga, his fiery goosemother, laotsey taotsey, woman who did, he tell princes of the age about. You sound on me, judges! Suppose we brisken up, kings! Meet the Mem, Avenlith, all viviparous out of couple of lizards. She just as fenny as he is fulgar. How laat soever her latest still her sawlogs come up all standing. Psing a psalm of psexpeans, apocryphul of rhyme! His cheekmole of Allaph foriverever her allinall and his Kuaran never teachit her the be thee owner of thyself. So she not swop her eckcot heim for Howarden’s Castle, Englandwales. But be the alleance of iern on his flamen vestacoat, the fibule of broochbronze to his winter-mantle of pointefox. Who not knows she, the Madame Coolley-Couley, spawife to laird of manna, when first come into the pictures more as hundreads elskerelks’ yahrds of annams callaway, factory fresh and fiuming at the mouth, wronged by Hwemwednoget (magrathmagreeth, he takable a rap for that early party) and whenceforward, Ani Mama and her fiertey bustles, terrified of gmere gnomes of gmountains and furibound to be back in her mytinbeddy? Schi schi, she feightened allsouls at pignpugn and gats a pann in her stummi from the pialabellars in their pur war. Yet jackdicktating all around her about his poorliness due to panellism and grime for that he harboured her when feme sole, her zoravarn lhorde and givnergenral, and led her in antient consort ruhm and bound her durant coverture so as she cowed not steal from him, oz her or damman, so as if ever she’s beleaved by chec
kenbrooth death since both was parties to the feed it’s Hetman MacCumhal foots the funeral. Mealwhile she nutre him jacent from her elmer’s almsdish, giantar and tschaina as sieme as bibrondas with Foli Signur’s tinner roumanschy to fishle the ladwigs out of his lugwags, like a skittering kitty skattering hayels, when his favourites were all beruffled on him and her own undesirables justickulating, it was such a blowick day. Winden wanden wild like wenchen wenden wanton. The why if he but would bite and plug his baccypipes and renownse the devlins in all their pumbs and kip the streelwarkers out of the plague and nettleses milk from sickling the honeycoombe and kop Ulo Bubo selling foulty treepes, she would make massa dinars with her savuneen dealinsh and delicate her nut-brown glory cloack to Mayde Berenice and hang herself in Ostmannstown Saint Megan’s and make no more mulierage before mahatmas or mosle-mans, but would ondulate her shookerloft hat from Alpoleary with a viv baselgia and a clamast apotria like any purple cardinal’s princess or woman of the grave word to the papal’s legate from the Vactucum, Monsaigneur Rabbinsohn Crucis, with an ass of milg to his cowmate and chilterlings, on account of all he quaqueduxed for the hnor of Hrom and the nations abhord him and wop mezzo scudo to Sant Pursy Orelli that gave Luiz-Marios Josefs their loyal devouces to be offered up missas for vowts for widders.
Hear, O worldwithout! Tiny tattling! Backwoods, be wary! Daintytrees, go dutch! Bring lolave branches to mud cabins and peace to the tents of Ceder, Neomenie! The feast of Tubbournigglers is at hand. Shopshup, Inisfail! Timple temple tells the bells. In syngagyng a sangasongue. For all in Ondslosby.
But who comes yond with pire on poletop? He who relights our spearing torch, the moon. Evering height in chrystaldome, pritheeso, ana liev! And the hag they damename Coverfew hists from her lane. And, haste, ’tis time for bairns ta hame. Chickchilds, comeho to roo. Comehome to roo, wee chickchilds doo, when the wildwerewolf’s abroad. Ah, let’s away and let’s gay and let’s stay chez where the log foyer’s burning!
It darkles (tinct, tint), all this our funnaminal world. Yon marshpond by ruodmark verge is visited by the tide. Alvemmarea! We are circumveiloped by obscuritas. Man and belves frieren. There is a wish on them to be not doing or anything. Or just for rugs. Zoo koud! Drr, deff, coal lay on and, pzz, call us pyrress. Ha! Where is our highly honourworthy salutable spousefounderess? The foolish one of the family is within. Haha! Huzoor, where’s he? At house, to’s pitty. With Nancy Hands. Tsheetshee! Hound through the maize has fled. What hou! Isegrim under lolling ears. Far wol! And wheaten bells bide breathless. All. The trail of Gill not yet is to be seen, rocksdrops, up benn, down dell, a craggy road for rambling. Nor yet through starland that silver sash. What era’s o’ering? Lang gong late. Say long, scielo! Sillume, see lo! Selene, sail O! Amune! Ark!? Noh?! Nought stirs in spinney. The swayful pathways of the dragonfly spider stay still in reedery. Quiet takes back her folded fields. Tranquillest thanks. Adew. In deerhaven, imbraced, alleged, injoynted and unlatched, the birds, tommelise too, quail silens. ii. Luathan? Nuathan! Was avond ere awhile. Now conticinium. As Lord the Laohun is sheutseuyes. The time of lying together will come and the wildering of the night till cockeedoodle aubens Aurore. Panther monster. Send leabarrow loads amorrow. While loevdom shleeps. Elenfant has siang his triump, Great is Eliphas Magistrodontos, and after kneeprayer pious for behemuth and mahamoth will rest him from tusker toils. Salamsalaim! Rhinohorn isnoutso pigfellow but him ist gonz wurst. Kikikuki. Hopopodorme. Sobeast! No chare of beagles, frantling of peacocks, no muzzing of the camel, smuttering of apes. Lights, pageboy, lights! Brights we’ll be brights. With help of Hanoukan’s lamp. When otter leaps in outer parts then Yul remembers Mei. Her hung maid mohns are bluming, look, to greet those loes on coast of amethyst: arcglow’s seafire siemens lure and wextward warnerforth’s hookercrookers. And now, with robby brerfox’s fishy fable lissaned out, the threads simwhat toran and knots in its antargumends, the pesciolines in Liffeyetta’s bowl have stopped squiggling about Junoh and the whalk and feriaquintaism and pebble infinibility and the poissission of the hoghly course, and if Lubbernabohore laid his wizard’s horker to the ribber, save the qireqareqol and dabardin going on in his mount of knowledge (munt), he would not hear a flip flap in all Finnyland. Witchmam, watch of your night? Es voes, ez noes, nott voes, ges, noun. Darkpark’s acoo with sucking loves. Rosimund’s by her wishing well. Soon tempt-in-twos will stroll at venture and hunt-by-threes strut musketeering. Brace of girdles, brasse of beauys. With the width of the way for jogjoy. Hulker’s cieclest elbownunsense. Hold hard! And his dithering dathering waltzers of. Shtright! But meetings mate not as forsehn. Hesperons! And if you wand to Livmouth, wenderer, while Jempson’s weed decks Jacqueson’s Island, here lurks, bar hellpellhullpullthebell, none iron welcome. Bing. Bong. Bangbong. Thunderation! You took with the mulligrubs and we lack mulsum? No sirreebob! Great goodness, no! Were you Marely quean of Scuts or but Chrestien the Last (our duty to you, Chris! royalty, squat!), how matt your mark, though luked your johl, here’s dapplebellied mugs and troublebedded rooms and sawdust strown in expectoration. And, for ratification by specification of your information, Mr Knight, tuntapster, buttles; his alefru’s up to his hip. And Watsy Lyke sees after all rinsings and don’t omiss Kate, homeswab homely, put in with the bricks. A’s the sign and one’s the number. Where Chavvyout Chacer calls the cup and Pouropourim stands a stirrup. De oud huis bij de kerkegaard. So who over comes ever for Whoopee Weeks must put up with the Jug and Chambers.
But heed! Our thirty minutes war’s alull. All’s quiet on the felled of Gorey. Between the starfort and the thornwood brass castle flambs with mutton candles. Hushkah, a horn! Gadolmagtog! Qod es El? Housefather calls enthreateningly. From Brandenborgerthor. At Asa’s arthre. In thundercloud periwig. With lightning bug aflash from afinger. My souls and by jings, should he work his jaw to give down the banks and hark from the tomb! Ansighosa pokes in her potstill to souse at the sop be sodden enow and to hear to all the bubbles besaying: the coming man, the future woman, the food that is to build, what he with fifteen years will do, the ring in her mouth of joyous guard, stars astir and stirabout. A palashe for hirs, a saucy for hers and ladlelike spoons for the wonner. But ein and twee were never worth three. So they must have their final since he’s on parole. Et la pau’ Leonie has the choice of her lives between Josephinus and Mario-Louis for who is to wear the lily of Bohemey: Florestan, Thaddeus, Hardress or Myles? And lead raptivity captive. Like a Finn at a fair. Ready! Now for la bella! Icy-la-Belle!
