“What are you doing?” Alan asked her when she got back. “Cruising? Not when you're my date. That guy you go out with is really giving you bad habits.” He pretended to be mad at her, but she knew he wasn't.
“Oh, shut up and behave yourself,” she said with a grin as she sat down, and a few minutes later they were served dinner. As soon as coffee was served, the lights went down, and they were on the air with the music, the show, the televised Golden Globe awards in all its glory. As it began, their hearts all began to beat a little faster. They skipped back and forth for a while between movies and TV, and began with some of the lesser awards, but even at the beginning of the evening a number of people she knew were honored.
People were quick to powder their noses and put on lipstick during the commercial breaks, and with each award the cameras would zoom in on the nominees, and make everyone even more nervous. Then, finally, it was her mother's turn. She had won the award for best comedy series for so many years that Allegra never doubted for a minute that she would win it this year. She and Alan exchanged a look of certainty, and she was sorry she wasn't closer to her parents' table so she could squeeze her mother's hand in anticipation. It seemed hard to believe that her mother would be really worried after all these years, but she said she always was, and as Allegra saw her mother's face on the monitor, she realized that she was as terrified as all the other nominees. She looked panicked, and then they called out the names, one by one. The music, and then the endless silence, as everyone waited. And then her name … except that this year, for the first time after seven successive years of victory, it was not her mother's name they called out, but someone else's. Allegra was stunned, as she was sure her mother was. She just couldn't believe it. She looked at Alan and her eyes filled with tears, thinking of her, and the pain and disappointment she knew she must feel at that moment. They showed her mother's image on the monitor again, right after the winner's, and as the new winner made her way to the podium, Blaire was gracious and smiling, but Allegra could see that she was devastated. It was a reflection of what the audience had told them with their ratings.
“I can't believe it,” she whispered to Alan, feeling crushed, and wishing she could offer her mother some comfort. But they couldn't move around the room with the cameras rolling.
“I can't believe it either,” he whispered back. “It's still one of the best shows on TV. I watch it whenever I'm home,” and she knew he meant it.
But seven years of awards out of nine was a long time. It was time for someone else now. And that was exactly what Blaire Scott was afraid of. As she sat in her seat, she felt a stone sink from her heart to her stomach, and as she looked at Simon, he nodded and patted her hand, but she wasn't sure he really understood what she was feeling. He had won so many times, but his victories were always individual events. He didn't have a recurring show like hers, which had to maintain its standard of excellence time after time, week after week, season after season. In some ways, what she did was much harder. Then she reminded herself that Simon was also nominated, and she tried to remind herself not to be so selfish. But it was difficult anyway. She felt as though she was losing in a number of ways, even if no one else understood that.
“I hope my mom is okay,” Allegra said, worrying about her as the awards went on, and Alan shared her hope with her. She wished it were over now, but there were so many awards left to be given. It started to feel like it was taking forever. And then it was Carmen's turn. The names for the best film actress award were read, and the cameras zoomed in on each of them, and under the table Carmen was squeezing Alan's hand, and he was holding tightly to it, and hoping she'd win it. And then suddenly the explosion of her name, the cameras, the flashes, the applause as she stood up and looked down at him, and he beamed up at her as though he had lived his entire life for this moment. And at that very instant, Allegra knew, looking at them, that something had happened that night which neither of them really understood yet or were aware of. She didn't know how long it would take for them, but she sensed that something magical had occurred between them.
Alan was standing up, waiting for her, when Carmen returned, breathless and overwhelmed, laughing and crying and clutching her award, and he put his arms around her and kissed her, just as one of the photographers snapped their picture. Allegra was quick to tug at his sleeve, and he quickly sat down next to her.
“You'd better watch out,” she warned, and he knew she was right, but for a moment he just couldn't help it. Carmen was so excited, she could hardly sit there quietly, and Allegra was so happy and proud of her, it almost took away some of the disappointment of her mother not winning. In some ways, Carmen was like her kid sister. She had groomed her and helped her, and overseen her career for the past three years, almost since she'd joined the firm, and now Carmen had come up winners. And what's more, she deserved it.
There was another hour of awards after that, when people started wishing that they could go home, and everyone began to feel that they were spending the week there. And then, at last, the final awards. Best actor in a film, the counterpart to Carmen's award, which went to another of Allegra's firm's clients. Best film, best director, and finally best producer of a feature film. Best producer went to her father this year, as it had twice before at the Golden Globes. And he looked immensely pleased as he went to the podium and picked up his award, and thanked all the appropriate people, and his wife, Blaire, whom he said would always be number one to him. There were tears in her eyes as she smiled up at him, and he kissed her when he got back to the table.
And then, at the very last, there was the humanitarian award, which they did not give every year, but only when it was truly deserved by an outstanding human being in show business. They showed film clips from various films, and listed countless achievements across forty years, and by then everyone had figured out who it was, except for the recipient himself, who looked completely dazed as they called his name, and this time Blaire stood up to salute him, and cried as she kissed him and he walked to the podium. It was Simon Steinberg, her father.
“My God … I—I don't know what to say to all of you,” he said, looking deeply moved. “For once, I'm completely speechless. If I have won this, and I certainly don't deserve it, it's because of all of you, and your kindness to me over the years, your decency, your hard work, the goals you've helped me achieve, and the extraordinary moments we've shared. I salute all of you,” he said to the audience, with tears in his eyes, as Allegra felt hers roll down her cheeks and Alan put an arm around her shoulders. “I thank you for all that you've meant to me, and done for me, and given me. You are the great human beings here, along with my wife, Blaire, my daughter Allegra, my two children at home, Scott and Sam, and all of you whom I've worked with, and I remain your humble servant.” And with that he left the podium, and the entire audience in the grand ballroom of the Hilton Hotel gave him a standing ovation. He was truly the great man they said he was, and Allegra stood there and cried tears of pride and joy for her father.
It had been, in many ways, a wonderful evening, and as they all gathered up their things, Allegra told Alan that she wanted to go and see her mother. He told her he'd wait for her at the table with Carmen, and she found her mother in the midst of a group of friends and colleagues a few minutes later.
Allegra gave her a big hug, and told her she loved her. “Are you okay?” she asked in a whisper, and her mother nodded. Her eyes were still damp from the tears she had shed for Simon. It had been an important night for him, and she was happy for him, and proud enough of him to forget her own disappointment.
“We'll just have to try harder next year,” Blaire said, apparently undaunted, but Allegra saw something in her eyes that she didn't like, and as she left her and approached where her father stood, she noticed her mother glance nervously in his direction. He was speaking to Elizabeth Coleson, a director she knew he had worked with. She was English and very unusual, in that she was very young, and had already been made a “Dame” in En
gland in recognition of her enormous talent. They were deep in conversation, and her father was laughing, and there was something infinitesimally intimate about the way they stood. It was nothing Allegra could put a finger on, but it was just a feeling she got as she watched them. And then, before she could pursue the thought at all, her father turned away from Elizabeth and saw her. He beckoned to her immediately, and introduced her as the only respectably employed person in their family, and Elizabeth Coleson laughed a deep, husky laugh as she shook Allegra's hand and told her how pleased she was to meet her. She was only five years older than Allegra, and she had the sexual quality that some English women had, seeming very alluring while remaining enticingly aloof, and making no visible effort to be sexy, but achieving it totally because they didn't pursue it. Looking at her, Allegra thought she exuded sex and talent. There was an I-just-got-out-of-bed quality about her that made you wonder if she was wearing anything at all under her rather plain, somewhat out-of-date navy blue evening gown. It was obvious even to Allegra that her father liked her.
They chatted for a few minutes, and she told her father how proud she was of him. He gave her a big hug and a kiss, but when she left them, Allegra still had a faintly uneasy feeling about Elizabeth Coleson. She went back to her own table then, and the next time she looked over at them, she could see that her mother had joined them. And Allegra sensed easily that it had been a difficult evening for her mother, though she would never have admitted it to anyone, even to her older daughter. She was desperately worried about her show anyway. After nine years, it was hard enough to keep it interesting and keep it going. They had lost some important advertisers recently, as a result of the ratings dip. And not winning an award could make the ratings drop even further.
But Allegra could see yet another kind of worry in her mother's eyes tonight, and she wondered if it had anything at all to do with Elizabeth Coleson, or if she was imagining it, and Blaire was just dismayed that her show hadn't won the award after all. It was hard to tell with her mother. Blaire Scott was a pro, and a consummate good sport. On the way out, at least a dozen reporters asked her how she felt about not winning. She expressed her excitement for the writer/producer who had won the award, and her admiration for that show, and as usual, she was completely gracious. She said how much her husband's awards meant to her, and what an exceptional human being he was, and that maybe it was time for some of the younger, and very talented, people to be recognized.
On their way out, Carmen was set upon by reporters again, even more so than on the way in, and the fans went wild when they saw her. They threw flowers at her, and reached for her, and a teddy bear almost hit her in the head as a woman threw it at her, screaming her name. But fortunately, Alan caught it.
“Just like football,” he grinned at Allegra. Much to his own surprise, he had actually enjoyed the evening. And he suggested to Allegra that they go to a fifties-style restaurant he knew for a hamburger, and they take Carmen and Michael with them.
It took them half an hour to get back into the car again, and by the time they did, they all felt as though they had been pawed and mauled and dragged around by ten thousand hands and twice as many reporters.
“God, I think I want to be a bagger at Safeway when I grow up,” Michael said from the front seat with an exhausted groan, and they all laughed. But when Alan suggested a hamburger to him he said he was wiped out, and was working on a film, and had an early studio call the next morning. He said that if they didn't mind, he wanted to go home, and Carmen said that was fine. She was happy to go out with Allegra and Alan.
They dropped him off first and then went to Ed Debevic's on La Cienega, and Carmen said she was only sorry she couldn't change into a T-shirt and blue jeans.
“So am I,” Alan said wickedly as the two women laughed. “Actually, I'll bet you look incredible in jeans. How about coming to Malibu with me tomorrow so I can decide what I like you in better, red evening dress or blue jeans? You know, kind of like the Miss America Pageant … hell, you could win the Miss Congeniality Award … or the bathing suit competition….” Carmen was laughing at him, and Allegra grinned as they slipped into a booth, and a few of the regulars watched them, as Carmen's two bodyguards slipped into their own booth. It was after midnight.
Alan ordered a double cheeseburger and a chocolate malt, which reminded Allegra of their youth, and she ordered a cup of coffee and a side of onion rings, which was all she wanted. And they all smiled at the waitress, done up in fifties housewife garb. She looked just like Ethel on I Love Lucy.
“What about you, Miss Best Actress of the Year?” Alan asked Carmen, and she giggled. He had a nice quality with her, part big brother and part romantic hero, and Allegra had to admit as she looked at him that he was everything most women wanted. She had just known him for too long to ever take him seriously, or be turned on by him. And all she wanted now anyway was Brandon.
“I'll have apple pie a la mode and a strawberry milkshake,” Carmen said, feeling wicked.
“Now that we've all won our awards, to hell with calories, give me greasy food before I die,” he said, and then gave Carmen a squeeze and a look of admiration. “You were great tonight, by the way. You handled it a hell of a lot better than I could have at your age. All that star stuff is pretty goddamn scary.” Only another person who lived with the same pressures and pains really understood it, although Allegra did because she lived so close to it.
“Every time they come at me, photographers or fans, I just want to run back to Oregon,” Carmen said with a sigh.
“Tell me about it.” Allegra rolled her eyes, and then looked at her more seriously. “Alan's right, you were terrific. I was very proud of you.”
“Me too,” Alan said softly. “For a minute there, I was afraid they'd trample you on the way in. The press and the media sure get out of hand, don't they?” But the bodyguards Allegra had hired had done a good job, she thought, as she glanced over at them at their separate table.
“The press scares me to death,” Carmen confessed, not that anyone was surprised to hear it. And then Alan asked Allegra how her mom had been when she went over to see her.
“Upset, I think, not that she'd ever admit it. She's too proud to ever let anyone know she was hurting. And she probably had mixed emotions. I know she was happy for my dad. But she's been pretty worried about her show and this won't help it. When I went over to talk to her, she was telling my father how great he is, and he looked very excited. I think the humanitarian award really meant a lot to him. More so even than the one for his picture.”
“He really deserves it,” Alan said, and Carmen looked longingly at Allegra.
“I sure would like to be in one of his pictures.”
“I'll say something to him,” she said. He was probably interested in her too. She was a big name at the box office, and she had a rapidly growing talent. But Allegra didn't say anything to either of them about Elizabeth Coleson. It was the first time she had ever seen her father look quite that way at anyone other than her mother, but it was probably just professional admiration, and the look she had seen in her mother's eyes was probably just raw emotion after a very exciting night, full of roller-coaster rides of pride and disappointment.
They left Ed Debevic's at two o'clock, after talking about what it had been like to go to Beverly Hills High School, and what Carmen's childhood had been like in Portland. Hers sounded a lot more normal to them than theirs had been, and it made it even harder for her to adjust to the insanity of her life now with tabloids and paparazzi, and awards, and death threats.
“Just an ordinary life we all lead,” Alan said with a look of amusement as they got back into the limousine, and he pulled Carmen onto his lap, and she made no attempt to escape him.
“Would you two like me to take a cab?” Allegra teased. It had become even more obvious in the last two hours that they were both extremely attracted to each other.
“How about the trunk?” Alan asked, and Allegra got into the car and gave
him a shove, as Carmen laughed at both of them. In some ways, she envied them their long-standing friendship. She had no friends like that in Hollywood, no friends there at all in fact, except for Allegra. The only people she knew were the people she had worked with, and she never saw them after she finished a picture. They just moved on, and so did she, and one of the things she disliked most about her life in L.A. was how lonely she was, and how seldom she went out, except for evenings like this one, with a studio-appointed date, who was as bored as she was. And she said as much to both of them on the way home, as Alan looked at her in amazement.
“You know, half the guys in America would probably give their lives for a date with you. And nobody in the country would believe that you sit home and watch TV every night,” he said, but he believed her. His own romantic life was less exciting than most people thought it was, except for the occasional sensational brief affair, which always wound up in the tabloids. “Well, we'll have to see about that,” Alan said matter-of-factly. She had already agreed to go to his house in Malibu with him the next day, and now he was talking to her about going bowling.
Allegra asked to be dropped off first, and she kissed them both good night, and congratulated Carmen again, and then she let herself into the house, and was surprised to realize how tired she was as she slipped off her high-heeled sandals. It had been an exhausting evening.
Alan and Carmen seemed to be well on their way to a new romance. She was happy for them, and it made her think of Brandon again, as she walked into her kitchen and listened to the messages on her machine. He wasn't supposed to call, but there was always the chance that he had anyway, or had called just to tell her he loved her.
The Wedding Page 8
