by Smoak, Ivy
"And what'd you do to fix it?"
"Got someone to jump it."
"Exactly!" said Lulu. "So think of your sex lives like a battery. Over time, they fade, and eventually they need a little jumpstart. This is the jumpstart."
"That actually kind of makes sense," said Phoenix. "But won't our husbands be mad?"
"Well, the key is that you both have to do it before one of you gets caught. At that point they will have both cheated, so they can't be mad at you. In fact, with all the couples I've tried this with, the guys have been very accepting and appreciative that their wives were willing to go so far to resurrect their sex lives."
"What's to keep my husband from falling in love with Phoenix?" I asked.
"Don't be ridiculous. He's not going to fall in love with her because she makes him cum once. Is he in love with his hand? No, and I'll bet his hand has made him cum thousands of times. Anyway, I have an appointment in a few minutes, so I need to get going. Best of luck, girls."
The phone clicked off. I looked at Phoenix to try to get a read on what she was thinking.
"She seems less crazy on the phone," said Phoenix.
"Does that mean you're considering taking her advice?" I couldn't believe it, but I was considering it too. Perhaps not having sex in so long was clouding my judgment.
"Yeah. I think we should do it. What's the worst that could happen?"
"Uh, our husbands divorce us?"
"Right. But isn't there a good chance of that happening if we can't fix our sex lives?"
"I guess."
"I mean, you heard Lulu last night. If we don't let them cheat, they're going to do it on their own. Maybe doing it in a controlled environment is best."
"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but okay. I'll do it." What am I doing?!
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I'll do it," I repeated, trying to convince myself that I was making the right choice.
"Great!"
"Do you really think we can do this without getting caught?" I asked. I was already having second thoughts.
"Yeah, we totally can. We just have to help each other. I'll text you whenever Sean is alone in the house, and you can do the same for me. And I'll also give you his number so you can call him over for help with things around the house. He's quite handy."
My mind started drifting to ways that I could get Sean alone and seduce him. The thought made me uncomfortable, but also kind of excited. This might be fun after all.
Chapter 8
Connor
I glanced down at my phone while I waited at the red light outside our neighborhood. I had texted Rosie when I left work to tell her I was stopping by the grocery store on my lunch break, but she had never said anything back. And she still hadn't. I really hoped that she wasn't preparing another police raid on the house for lunch, because if she did, I'd probably lose my bet with Sean.
The car behind me beeped to tell me the light was green. I stepped on the gas and pulled into the neighborhood. As I approached our house, I saw Phoenix in her driveway hosing down her black BMW. She was barefoot with a white tank top and super short jean shorts that exposed the bottom of her firm ass. Her tan, wet skin glistened in the sun.
I refocused my attention back on the road at just the right moment. A squirrel with a penchant for vehicle assisted suicide had run out in front of my car. I slammed my foot on the brake at the last second to avoid turning him into a squirrel pancake. The sound of my brakes squealing made Phoenix look up. When she saw it was me, she smiled and waved.
I awkwardly smiled back as I pulled into my driveway. Did she know I was staring at her? Probably.
When I stepped out of my car, Phoenix turned her hose off and called over, "Hey, neighbor."
"Hi, Phoenix," I said, waving back.
Phoenix motioned for me to come talk to her.
"One sec," I said. I popped the trunk and grabbed all the grocery bags in one trip. When I came back out, Phoenix was bent over scrubbing the hood of her car. The way she had her back arched with her ass hanging out of her jean shorts was so hot. "Damn that's hot," I mumbled. Did I really just say that out loud?
Phoenix looked back at me. "Huh?"
"It's hot. That's what I meant. It's really hot out. Great day for a car wash."
"Oh, yeah," replied Phoenix. "It really is. Maybe this will help you cool down." She grabbed the hose and sprayed me right in the face.
I tried to dodge to the side, but my suit still got soaked. I shook my head and arms to get some of the water off.
"Feel cooler now?" asked Phoenix. She was grinning playfully.
"Oh, it's on now," I said. I sprinted towards Phoenix. She sprayed me again but when that didn't stop me, she screamed and started running. I grabbed the hose off the ground and chased after her. I caught her within a few seconds and absolutely drenched her with the hose. "Feel cooler now?" I asked.
Phoenix laughed and tried to snatch the hose from me, but I held it out of her reach. As she jumped to try to get it, I couldn't help but notice that she wasn't wearing anything under her shirt. The water had turned her tank top see-through and it clung beautifully to her hard nipples. She didn't seem to realize her shirt was see-through, because all she could focus on was trying to get the hose.
"If you could just jump a little higher," I teased.
"Come on, just give it to me," she said.
"Why would I do that? You're just going to spray me."
She feigned a shocked look. "Spray you? I would never do something like that. Especially not while you're wearing your suit."
My arm was tired of holding the hose, so I decided to play along. "Okay, here you go." I handed her the hose.
And she immediately sprayed me right in the face. "Just joking. Payback, bitch!"
I grabbed her arm and turned it so that she was spraying herself. It just so happened that she was spraying herself directly in the chest. Does she not realize it's see-through, or does she not care? Either way, it was super hot.
"Okay, okay. I give up!" she screamed.
I slowly let go of her arm. She didn't spray me back this time. "Did you really call me over just so you could drench me?" I asked.
"Oh, no. I had a real reason for calling you over. But spraying you was just too good to pass up."
"Suuure..." I said.
"I did!"
"Then what was it?"
"Uh, I don't remember. So you're home for lunch?"
"Yeah, I just picked up some groceries and I was going to make myself a sandwich."
"Lame. Who eats sandwiches for lunch?"
"What do you eat for lunch?"
"Popsicles. Come on, we can share."
How can she stay so skinny eating popsicles for lunch? Is that her only meal of the day? She turned and walked into her air conditioned house. I quickly followed her. After all, I didn't want to be rude to our new neighbor. Seeing the effect the AC would have on her nipples wasn't a bad reason to follow her, either. They were rock hard. I could even see the goose bumps right around her nipples. It was hard to keep my eyes on her face.
"What flavor do you want?" asked Phoenix. "I think we have cherry, orange, and grape."
"Cherry, please."
Phoenix opened the freezer and looked inside. "Damn it," she muttered. "Why does Sean always put my popsicles on the bottom shelf?" Rather than crouching down like a normal person, she kept her legs straight and bent over. Her jean shorts rode up even higher than before and I could basically see her entire ass. As she rummaged around in the bottom of the freezer, her ass shook from side to side.
I looked down and noticed that I was turning my pants into a horizontal teepee. Shit. I didn't have anything in my hands to cover up with, so instead I took a seat at the counter and put my hands in my lap.
"Found 'em!" she said and stood back up. "Cherry?"
"Yup."
"Good choice. That's my favorite too. And that's all we have left." She pulled the last two popsicles out of the box and tossed
one my way.
I looked down as I unwrapped it. When I looked back up, Phoenix was leaning over the counter. Her breasts were pushed together and she was swirling her tongue around the tip of the popsicle. There was no way that she didn't realize how suggestive she was acting.
"God, I love popsicles," she said.
"This is pretty good," I agreed.
"What's your favorite thing about them?"
"Uh, I dunno. I guess the flavor."
"My favorite thing about them is how many different ways there are to eat them. I mean, most foods you have to cut up with a fork and knife or just use a boring old spoon. But with popsicles, the ways to eat them are almost limitless."
What the hell is she talking about?
"The standard method is to lick them, but everyone does it differently. A lot of girls I know just swirl their tongue around the top like this." She paused to act it out for me. "But I like to switch it up a little bit. Sometimes it's fun to lick all the way up the side of it."
Is this really happening?
She held the popsicle up and ran her tongue along the length of it. I think she even moaned a little bit while she did it.
Yup, this is happening.
"Have any ideas for other ways for me to eat a popsicle?"
"Oh, um. Maybe just suck on it?"
"Like this?" Phoenix puckered her lips up in a kissing face and pressed the tip of the popsicle against them. Then she slowly slid the popsicle in.
I had no idea what to say, so I didn't say anything.
"Or like this?" She pulled the stick sideways and pushed the popsicle into her cheek.
All I could do was picture her sucking my cock like that. My boner was nearly ripping out of my pants.
"Well, which do you prefer?" asked Phoenix. "I don't mind doing either."
"Both are pretty good. It's hard to pick a favorite."
"Let me give you one more option then. Sometimes I just get too excited and stick the whole thing in my mouth." The entire popsicle disappeared into her mouth. It must have been a few inches down her throat.
I put my popsicle down on the wrapper and put both my hands in my lap to cover up my boner.
She pulled the popsicle out of her throat and looked at it. The top half of it was missing. "Damn."
"What happened?"
"It busted in my mouth. Not a big deal though," she said with a shrug. "That happens sometimes. When it does, I always just swallow it down."
This is the best lunch ever.
"So what's your favorite way for me to eat it?"
"That one," I muttered.
"Yeah, me too," she agreed. "Mind if I do it to your popsicle?"
"What?" Did she just offer to deep throat my cock? I'm pretty sure she did.
She walked around the counter and stopped a few inches away from me. Her nipples were still visible through her shirt. "Well?"
"I don't know if that's..."
She reached down and grabbed my popsicle off the wrapper. "I think it's the last cherry one so I'd hate for it to go to waste."
"Oh yeah, go ahead." I couldn't decide if I was disappointed or relieved. On the one hand I was extremely horny, but I loved my wife. I didn't want to cheat on Rosie. And Phoenix was Sean's wife!
Phoenix shoved the popsicle in her mouth. And moaned. Yup, I definitely heard it that time. She was moaning. A few seconds later she pulled it out and most of it was gone. "God, that was so good. I just wish I could have another one."
My phone buzzing in my pocket got me out of having to respond. I picked it up, wiped the water off the screen, and answered the call. It was my boss.
"Hello?" I asked.
"I'm going to go put my clothes in the dryer," whispered Phoenix. "Be right back." As she walked into the other room, she grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Her back was turned to me, but her breasts were so big that I could see the sides of them. Then she disappeared into the other room.
"Hello? Connor?" asked my boss.
"Hello? Sorry, the connection crapped out for a second," I lied.
"I needed your ass in here ten minutes ago. We have an emergency."
"Okay, be right in."
Click.
"What was that about?" asked Phoenix from the other room. Her head appeared in the doorway, along with her left shoulder. If she had leaned in an inch more I would have seen her nipple, but she didn't.
"Sorry, I have to go. Emergency at work. Thanks again for lunch."
Before I could change my mind, I turned in my chair and tried to exit without Phoenix being able to see my boner.
Chapter 9
Rosie
As soon as I had received the text from Connor saying he was going grocery shopping and then coming home, I had texted Phoenix about it and left the house. I didn't really have anywhere to go, so I just went to Barnes and Noble. The travel section there always gave me great inspiration for my romance novels. After all, every great love story needed a breathtaking backdrop, and the books in the travel section were full of exactly that. Maybe that's the jumpstart my love life needs rather than fooling around with the neighbors.
I picked up a book about the Costa Rican rainforest and flipped to a random page. A full color picture of an infinity pool looking out over a rainforest jumped off the page. The Blue Parrot Resort. It was beautiful, but rather than conjuring stories of romance, it just made me wonder if such a place could fix my broken sex life.
This isn't working. I slammed the book shut and sat down in the middle of the aisle. Images of Phoenix seducing Connor kept floating through my mind. How would he be able to resist a girl like her, with her stupid dark hair and big tan tits? I assumed I'd get a text any minute from Phoenix informing me that she had just blown my husband.
Right on cue, I heard my phone vibrating in my pocket. I stayed still. I didn't want to look. After a few minutes I finally got up the courage to read the text. It was from Phoenix.
"Your turn. Sean will be home in an hour."
What?! That's all she's going to say? She's really not going to tell me if she succeeded?
I immediately hit the call button on my phone. I knew it was poor etiquette to talk on the phone in the middle of the bookstore, but I couldn't wait to talk to her.
"Hey, Rosie," said Phoenix.
"So how'd it go?" I asked.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes!"
"I don't think I should tell you."
"Oh God. Did he try to have sex with you?" I asked way too loud. Some lady who had just entered the travel aisle shot me a dirty look.
"No, no. That's not why I don't think I should tell you. I just don't want what I tell you to mess with your head. You still have to try to seduce Sean this afternoon."
"It won't mess with my head. Just tell me."
"Nope. Not until you have a story for me too. Sean gets home in an hour, and I won't be here. Good luck!"
"But..."
Click.
"Hello? Phoenix?"
I pulled my phone away from my face and saw that the call had ended. Damn it, Phoenix!
Not only did I not know if my husband had just cheated on me, but now I had to figure out how to seduce Sean. I immediately ruled out staging an erotic police raid on his house. But how else could I get him alone in a sexy situation?
I was in a book store, so I figured maybe I could find the answer to my question somewhere. I looked for "Seducing the Neighbor For Dummies," but for some reason that title didn't exist. A few of the other titles in that section got me thinking, though. Perhaps I could take advantage of the fact that Sean was a contractor. A plan started to form in my head as I made my way to the car. Game on.
***
Sean's pickup truck pulled up to his driveway a few minutes after 2 o'clock. I closed the blinds and ran upstairs to finish prepping. I stripped off my jeans, t-shirt, and underwear and put them in a pile at the foot of my bed. Then I went to the bathroom and added a few strokes of eye shado
w for maximum sluttiness before grabbing the hammer and ice pick off the bathroom counter.
Is this really going to work? I had no idea, but I hoped it would.
I stood on a step stool and positioned the ice pick against the pipe behind the showerhead. The first swing of the hammer connected cleanly with the back of the ice pick, but didn't even make a dent in the metal pipe. I brought the hammer back a little further and tried again. Still no luck.
"Come on you stupid pipe," I muttered, as if hurting its feelings would make it break.
That didn't work either, so I pulled my arm all the way back and swung at the ice pick with all my strength. I missed the ice pick. But I did hit the pipe. And it really fucked it up. The pipe bent at a 30 degree angle where I hit it. Shit. I had been trying to punch a small hole in the pipe, but instead it looked like sasquatch had gotten angry at the shower head and tried to snap it in half. I turned the water on to see if I had succeeded in creating a leak. Water shot out of the bent pipe and hit me in the face. Success!
I hopped in the shower for a second to get a little wet, but not enough to mess up my hair or makeup too much. Then I turned the water off and called Sean's number that Phoenix had given me.
It rung a few times before Sean picked up.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hi, Sean?"
"Speaking. Who's this?"
"Rosie, from next door."
"Oh, hey, Rosie. How'd you get my number? Did you want me to get Phoenix?"
"No, I was actually calling to ask you for a small favor."
"Of course. What do you need?" asked Sean.
"I was just taking a shower and it started leaking. Do you think you could come take a look at it real quick? I'm worried it will flood if I don't fix it."
"Sure thing. Let me grab my tools and I'll be right over."
The phone clicked off. I wrapped my towel around my torso and ran downstairs. The towel was a little shorter than I expected. Is he going to see my ass when I walk up the stairs?
Waiting for him to come was the worst. I kept readjusting my towel to make sure it wouldn't fall off in front of Sean, which was a bit ridiculous when the ultimate goal of the afternoon was to suck his cock. Maybe it would be good if my towel did fall off.
