Insulted, I frowned. “It wasn’t pity money.”
“And the sad thing is though my pride wanted to give it back, I couldn’t because we needed it so desperately. I’m just tired of being poor.”
“Most people in life are tired of something. My dad always says, ‘Everybody has issues, but successful people are the ones who can manage their issues well’.”
“How do you manage living in a homeless shelter?”
I put my right hand on his hand and said, “I can only imagine that’s hard, but you don’t take it out on your girlfriend.”
When I socked him lightly in the jaw, he said, “Point taken.”
Our team won the football game, and it was actually good sitting in the stands with Spencer and Shelby. Hugo liked him. When let his guard down, they actually got along pretty well.
The good times ended when, after the game, Spencer said, “Let’s go to Red Lobster to eat. We passed one on the way in.”
Immediately, Hugo got tense. “Nah, I can’t afford that man.”
“I got you. I got you guys,” Spencer smiled and said.
Hugo got angry and said, “No, I don’t need you to have us. You and Shelby, if you guys want to go on to Red Lobster, Blue Lobster, or Brown Lobster, y’all do that, but me and Ansli, we ain’t rollin’ like that.”
“Why you gotta be all uptight about it, man?” Spencer stepped to Hugo and flexed.
“I ain’t uptight. I just don’t want a handout. Come on Ansli, let’s go,” Hugo retorted.
In a softer voice Spencer said, “Dang, man. You don’t have to get upset about it. Sorry. We’re a long way from home.”
“I know how to read the signs. We can get back just fine,” Hugo said.
Hugo took my hand and pulled me toward the parking lot. I knew he was embarrassed. I knew he wished he had more. I knew he felt belittled, but no one was trying to make him feel that way, and he didn’t have to have an attitude.
“I just can’t believe you, Hugo. It’s gonna be all weird everytime we get together,” I said when we got to my car of the stadium parking lot as I jerked away from him, totally angry. “Maybe you had the right idea when you broke up with me. Though I didn’t like it then and I wanted you back so much, this ain’t working.”
He just stood there looking at me, like he couldn’t believe I was saying what I was saying.
But I meant it. It really didn’t matter what he thought about it. He’d ticked me off.
“Get in!” I shouted after unlocking the door and getting in myself.
He got inside, but wouldn’t let me start the car. He put his left hand on my right hand, which was on the ignition. I looked at him a bit disgusted.
Hugo sweetly uttered, “Come on. We should be able to talk about this, Ansli. I’m sorry. I was rude. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m a jerk. I care about you. You know I do. I want to be able to pay when I’m out with you. I just didn’t want someone else to feel like he had to take care of what’s my responsibility to handle.”
“My problem with it, Hugo, is that you thought he was taking pity on you. You didn’t have to get defensive. All he wanted to do was have a good time at a very nice restaurant and make sure you had no worries about it. Who knows? The way life is tomorrow you might be helping him out.”
“How am I going to help him out when I live in a homeless shelter, Ansli? You’re talking crazy.”
“No I’m not. He could fall down, and you could have to pick him up. He could need help with a homework assignment, and you could tutor him. He could need a friend, and you could be there. Everything isn’t about dollars and cents,” I explained.
“When you have no money, everything is about dollars and cents, okay? It’s the haves and the have-nots. My mom says it all the time. I see how we’re treated. Not because I’m Hispanic, not because I’m a male. People look at me like I’m going to steal their purses sometimes … ”
I looked at him like ‘really?’ and he nodded. “Yeah, that junk don’t just happen to black guys. Black and white folks think Hispanics want to steal from them too, and it all stems from the fact that most of us are poor.”
“Y’all are just frugal, living two and three families in one place … supporting each others’ businesses. My dad talks about it all the time. If other races follow the strength you guys have, we’d be a better nation.”
“You don’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like to walk in my shoes. You don’t know what it’s like to not be able to help your mom stay in her house.”
“That’s not your responsibility,” I shouted, knowing he wasn’t his mom’s husband.
“In my culture, if I need to get a job and drop out of school, that’s what’s expected of me. My mom doesn’t want me to do that, but I’ve already gotten the message from my relatives who don’t live in the United States that dropping out is what I need to do. So, forgive me if I’m stressed out and don’t want to take a hand out.”
My phone rang and, although it was my mom, I was actually happy to answer it to break some of the tension building in my car. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hey. Is the game over?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Okay, well you and Shelby be careful please.”
“Yes, ma’am we will.”
“We probably won’t be home ‘til three in the morning.”
“How did the fundraising event and rally go?”
“It was great. I missed you and Shelby with us, but your sisters did good for Dad. Slade even sung,” my mother shared.
“No way. Dad let her?”
“Yup. I know you girls will be asleep when we get in, so make sure you lock the doors and set the alarm. It worries me that the guard gate isn’t up in the front of the neighborhood.”
“Alright, Mom. Are you guys on your way back now?”
“No, we’re going to finish up at this last reception. Dad thought it would be rude if we cut out early. Your sisters are upstairs in the hotel room.”
“Well, you guys should just stay.”
“No, we’re going to get back to you and Shelby.”
“Mom, we’re fine. You guys should stay. We’re seniors.”
“We might, we might. Call me when you get home. Where’s your sister?”
“She’s not right here right this second,” I said, knowing my folks thought we were together.
“Then where is she?”
“Not far away. I can tell her to call you right back,” I lied.
“Alright. Y’all just stay together.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Quickly, I dialed my sister.
“Hey, you okay?” Shelby immediately said, always caring about me.
“Yeah.”
“Well, Spencer’s sorry if he offended Hugo.”
“Don’t worry about all that.”
“We’re going to stop off and get something to eat.”
“Good, but I called ‘cuz Mom is trying to get you, so you need to call her back. Heads up they’re not coming back until three though.”
“Ooh yes, that’s good,” Shelby said. “Spencer and I are just going to hang out. We’re going to the restaurant up here. Can you get back alright?”
“No problem.”
“Alright, I’ll be home in about a couple hours.”
“Before, three o’clock though. You better be good,” I told my sister.
“Or good at trying,” she said in a slick kind of way.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I hung up the phone. Was Shelby ready to get busy? Thinking about that possibility for her, I was nervous and excited at the same time.
“I think I know the way back,” I mumbled to myself.
“Just keep straight. The interstate is going to be up here on your left,” Hugo replied.
“Oh, okay.”
I was really irritated. I didn’t know what to say to him. As we neared the city limits of Charlotte, he started talking to me. He got extra touchy feely as he took his hand and stroked
my hair. The way he was staring I could tell he was now enticed.
“I’m sorry. I care about you. I think about you at night. I got a lot going on, and I don’t want to go back to the shelter right now. Let’s be together. One of the things that helps me sleep at night is that I see you in my dreams. Can they become a reality tonight?” Hugo voiced in a husky tone, as he leaned in and kissed my neck.
“Stop,” I said, not even realizing that I got off on the exit near my house. However, since I did, and since my folks weren’t home, and since he was making me feel all hot with his touches, I said, “I’m taking you to my house.”
“Really?” he said, as his hand started sliding between my legs.
I removed his hand, got out of the car, and said, “I want to show you some of my pictures and get your take on them.”
He got out and nodded. As we walked to my door, he seemed a bit distant again. I felt like he was pulling away because my house was like a mansion.
Needing to make sure he didn’t get bummed out, I said, “Now, though my parents and sisters aren’t home, I’m not taking you here so you could feel like, ‘Oh, I live in this great big place and you…”
But before I could even say any of that, he moved my head to the back of the door and kissed me passionately. Our hands were roaming all over each other. I guess I was still sort of mad at him, but I was crazy about him at the same time. We made it inside, and one thing lead to another. I didn’t show him my pictures. I showed him something more intriguing—my bare body. And he liked what he saw.
His kisses on my neck made me feel like I was floating in outer space. I wanted him to send me to the moon. I wanted to lose my virginity with him, but I had to be safe.
As hard as it was to pull away, I said, “Where’s the protection?”
“I don’t have any, baby,” he said as he came back and started licking in my ear.
I never breathed so deep and hard in my life. The passion was exhilarating, and it was so easy for me to surrender and let him have his way. But my brain just shouted, “No!”
“I can’t without protection,” I uttered. “When was your last cycle?”
“Huh?” I said, not wanting to discuss any of my personal business like that with him, but, reluctantly, I did. “Last week.”
“Then you’re fine.”
Confused, I said, “How do you know?”
“My mom schooled me on all this. A time that a girl can get pregnant is during the middle of her cycle.”
“Well, if mine was last week, I’m close to the middle. Uh uh, stop! No.”
I reached down, grabbed my clothes, and dashed to the bathroom. Quickly, I splashed water on my face. I was trippin’ anyway thinking of going all the way in my parent’s home. Though, they might be spending the night away, they could also be pulling up in any moment. When the doorbell went off, I had a panic attack.
“Oh my gosh! I’m going to get in so much trouble. Where is my bra? Where are my panties? Oh my gosh!”
I was even more scared when Hugo started banging on the bathroom door. “Somebody’s here.”
“I’m going to be in so much trouble,” I said to him as I threw on my clothes, pants inside out, shirt on backwards, and took no time to put on underwear.
“It’s got to be Shelby,” Hugo said. “She rode with Spencer, so he’s got to be dropping her off. Your parents wouldn’t be ringing your doorbell.”
“When they’re in the limousine, they forget their key sometimes, and I haven’t even checked my phone to see if they called to say they were on their way. It could be them!”
“Just stay behind me. I don’t want you going near the door by yourself,” he said. “What if it’s not your parents.”
“Then we have nothing to worry about.”
“It could be someone trying to rob you guys.”
“Not in my neighborhood.”
“You must not have been watching the news lately.”
Forgetting what he was saying, I went to go open the door. Who was this, I wondered? I was startled to find Katera standing before me shaking like she’d been left out in a blizzard for days.
“Come in,” I quickly said to her.
When she stepped inside, I looked outside and saw a car driving away.
“How’d you get here?”
“I got dropped off.”
When she looked up at me, I saw a black eye. “What in the world is going on?”
“It’s a long story. It’s definitely not what you think. I got kicked in the eye, and it wasn’t on purpose.”
“That doesn’t even sound right. Come on. You need a blanket, and a bath, and a bed.”
Hugo stepped into view and said, “You need to get me home before your parents get back.”
“I didn’t know you had company. I had no other place to go,” Katera voiced as she held her head down.
I leaned in and asked, “I thought you were staying at that place.”
“No, Momma Dee and me had to bounce,” Katera said, as I squinted. “Remember the guys who were on motorcycles?”
“Yeah, I remember from when I took you back that time,” I said as I shivered thinking of the thugs.
“They just make it difficult for everyone staying back there.”
“Did they do this to your face?” I said as I looked at the deep black and blue bruise. She quickly looked away. “Okay, well come on and go with me in the car. I gotta get Hugo home.”
“I don’t know. I’m too tired. I just need to take a quick bath, please.”
Hugo’s eyes were saying to me “there is no way you can leave her here.” Then I got to thinking that if my parents came back, checked in on me, and saw she was in my bed, they wouldn’t come over to give me a kiss and all that good stuff. Even my sister wouldn’t bother me if I was sleep. I always had to ask my parents’ permission for anyone to stay over. Out of the five of us girls, I never had anyone stay over, so I’m sure when I explained everything, all would be okay.
Just sticking with my gut, I said, “Okay, take a bath. You know where my room is. Just get in the bed and shut the door. I’ll be right back.”
“No rush,” Katera said, being kind. “When are your parents coming back?”
“I don’t think they’re coming back until the morning…”
Hugo was coughing like I was giving her way too much information, but he didn’t know Katera. I was a little salty with him anyway. He wanted to put his hand in the vanilla pudding, but he didn’t have a glove. He and I thought differently. Though he was my first boyfriend, I didn’t want to set a precedent for myself of letting a man run over me.
“Smile!” I said when I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture of her.
“Why’d you do that?” she asked insulted. “Your eye looks bad. Always have evidence,” I said to her. “This is in case you report it.”
“I told you it was an accident. Please erase it, and don’t post it anywhere,” Katera angrily barked like a pit bull.
“I’m not going to erase it. I’m not going to post it either. Calm down,” I said, before leaving out.
All the way to the shelter Hugo was giving me grief. “You don’t know her. You should’ve made her come with us. You didn’t even tell Shelby she was there. What if she scares your sister? What if your parents come home and they do go in your room to check on you? Why are you putting yourself out there for this girl?”
Finally, I got tired of him drilling me and said, “You of all people said people going through need help, not handouts all the time. I’m trying to help.”
“Yeah, but you don’t need to be stupid with the help either. It just didn’t seem right, and who was flying out of your neighborhood all crazy?”
He went on to explain that when I opened the door, a car sped away. He was paranoid. When we pulled up to the shelter, I leaned over and gave him a kiss.
Changing the subject, I playfully jabbed him, “Next time be prepared.”
“I got this prepaid phone. Please, cal
l me when you get home so I know everything is okay,” he said, changing the subject back to my safety.
“Alright. Alright.”
When I got back to my house, it looked like Grand Central Station outside. I hadn’t been gone for an hour, but there were police, there were my parents, there was Shelby, and they all were looking at me. Had something happen to Katera? I ran inside the house, and I was at a loss for words when I saw that our great room was ransacked. Flat-screen television, gone. Computer at the workstation, gone. The speakers from the surround sound, gone. And who knew whatever else was missing?
“Where is Katera?”
I ran upstairs and saw my bedroom empty, but there was a note on my bed that said, “Sorry.” Was Hugo right? Did she trick me? Did she take advantage of me? I could not believe she stole from my family after I helped her. At that moment, I was gritting my teeth while tears were pouring down my face. I wasn’t sad. I was angry. And honestly if I saw her again, I’d punch her in her other eye, beat that heifer, and kick her tail. I showed her kindness, and in return she stole from me? I was heated and had a boiling attitude.
CHAPTER FIVE
ALIKE
Both my mom and my dad rushed up to me with a look of pure disappointment on both of their faces. Out of five girls, I’d never been the bad one. I wasn’t brash like Shelby, bold like Slade, but I wasn’t brazen like Sloan either. Nobody was as sweet as Yuri, who barely said a peep, but I didn’t give my folks any problems. Now that wasn’t the case anymore.
“I’m sorry,” I looked at both of them and said, throwing my hands up in the air and trying to control the emotions that were stirring up inside of me.
“You’re going to have to give us more than that, Ansli,” my dad said.
“Go easy, Stanley,” my mom said to him.
I didn’t deserve any mercy. I didn’t deserve for them to be sweet to me. I didn’t deserve for them to cut me slack. They deserved the truth. I’d been angry at them for not being honest with me for so many years. I’d be a hypocrite if I did anything other than that. I had to stand up, take a deep breath, put both of my shoulders back, look them both in the eye, and tell them the truth, but when I tried that, the words just wouldn’t come out.
Better Than Picture Perfect Page 5
