5,331 Miles

by Aster, Willow

  We walked toward baggage claim and when we got through customs and security, Anne was standing with a bouquet of flowers. We beamed at each other as she walked toward us, but I quickly looked behind her and all around…even behind myself…but I couldn’t spot Jaxson. Maybe he was in the loo. Anne hugged my mum and me at the same time, the two of them laughing and crying.

  “Where’s Jaxson?” I asked when we pulled away.

  “He had to stay after school for football practice,” she said.

  My shoulders sagged with disappointment, but Anne put her arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry, he’ll be home by the time we get there.”

  We were only going to be there for a week, so I’d hoped between our limited time and the preparations for the wedding, he wouldn’t have to worry about school.

  Anne saw my expression. “He’s had to work really hard to get caught up at school…I barely see him between homework, his jobs doing yard work, and sports.” She scrunched up her nose. “They don’t allow them to miss any practices unless there’s an emergency.” She rolled her eyes. “Believe me, it’s killing him to not be here.”

  That soothed me a bit.

  “And I’m so sorry,” she added. “Charles is mortified that you had to fly in here instead of closer to home. When you leave, you’ll fly out of San Diego, and it will be much closer!”

  We didn’t care; we were just happy to be on the ground. When we reached her car and I saw the steering wheel on the wrong side and the beautiful sunshine with the most perfect puffy white clouds, I got excited all over again. America. I was finally there! Where they made movies! It was too much. I wished Jaxson was by my side when we passed the ocean, which was love at first sight. Jaxson and I had talked about learning to surf, thinking it would come in handy when we swam with the dolphins. Maybe we could try it out that week. The traffic made me a nervous wreck, but there was too much to see and the stretches of moving at a snail’s pace gave me time to take it all in.

  It took a couple of hours to get to the house. I thought the anticipation would kill me if we didn’t get there soon. By the time we finally pulled into the driveway of a mansion, I figured we were making another stop before home and I couldn’t take anymore. I flounced back against the seat and groaned just as my mum gasped.

  “You’re kidding me,” she yelled. “Is this your place?”

  I leaned up, sticking my head between the two of them. “What? This is where you live? How is that possible? Jaxson said swanky, but this is beyond! This is outrageous!” I clamped my hand over my mouth because my voice was getting too loud for the car, but I was in shock.

  Anne laughed. “I’m still in shock about it myself. Wait until you see the view from the back. It’s a dream. I’m—well, I assure you I had no idea Charles had…anything like this…when I met him. Honestly, I think he was scared to show me at first. And he was right to be. I nearly did a runner.” She laughed again and I took a good long look at her, noticing for the first time how happy she seemed, how peaceful.

  “I’m so happy for you, Anne,” Mum said and burst into tears.

  Anne looked at her sharply and put her hand on Mum’s arm. Mum shook her head and opened the car door.

  “Don’t pay me any mind. I’m tired and overly sentimental. I can’t wait to meet Charles. And if anyone deserves this lavish lifestyle, it’s you,” she said.

  Anne didn’t look like she quite believed my mother’s explanation and I didn’t either, even though I knew she meant what she said about Anne. But she’d been crying more than ever lately and had tried to no avail to get my dad to come with us on this trip. I thought maybe she was depressed and as I stepped out of the car, I hoped being here would help her feel better. Anne came around the car and hugged my mum. I leaned over on my mum’s back and hugged both of them. And then we were nearly barreled over by someone huge who joined the hug. His hair was wet and I pulled away to avoid getting wet too.

  I looked up and up and there stood Jaxson.

  “What happened?” I asked dumbly.

  Jaxson just stood there smiling proudly while Anne answered, “I can’t keep this guy in pants and shoes! All of a sudden, he’s outgrowing everything. Six inches taller since we got here and some days I swear he’s growing right before my eyes.”

  My mum gave him another hug while I swallowed hard and looked over his face, which had a few zits that weren’t there before either, but other than that, he looked like my Jaxson. Just lots bigger. It was unsettling, but then he put his arm around my shoulder and turned me toward the house. I could see the ocean waves just past the house.

  “As soon as we get your things inside, Mum said I could take you down to the beach. You’re gonna love it here,” he said.

  Anne started to say something, but Jaxson jumped in. “Yes, I finished my homework,” he said, smirking.

  My shoulders loosened when he smiled down at me. I couldn’t believe how different he looked. While I’d stayed the same short, slightly tubby girl, my best friend had grown into a humongous teenager. I always thought he was beautiful, and now he really was, hormonal skin and all. His newly tanned shade helped conceal the imperfections. A pang sharpened in my chest. It felt like he was passing me by, in more ways than one. He even sounded a wee bit different…deeper, and like the California was weaving its way into every part of him.

  “Come on, Bells. I’ve been waiting forever to show you everything.” He picked up Mum’s luggage and I took mine, leaving our mothers behind as we hurried into the house.

  He didn’t give me time to gawk at the stunning high ceilings and enormous chandelier in front of the winding staircase. He loped up the stairs and I followed, wishing I hadn’t packed so many outfits. When I reached the guest room, he had the suitcase sitting on a luggage rack and took mine and placed it on the one next to it.

  “It’s like a grand hotel,” I told him, excitedly. “This place would fit like, twelve of our houses from home.”

  He motioned for me to follow him and when he reached the door, he turned and looked at me. My cheeks bloomed with shyness, which was just crazy. It was Jaxson, for crying out loud.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” he said. He reached down and hugged me.

  My world suddenly righted—we were together again. When we pulled away from each other, I beamed up at him. “Me too. I can’t believe how tall you are.” He puffed his chest out, looking even taller, and I rolled my eyes at him as he laughed. “Let’s see that beach.”

  * * *

  I loved the feel of the sand on my feet. Jaxson ran straight to the water and motioned for me to follow him. When the water hit my feet, I yelped and backed up.

  “It’s bloody freezin’!” I yelled.

  That cracked him up. He tried to pull me in and I tried with all my might to stay on dry ground.

  “How are all these people in the water?” I looked around in shock.

  “You get used to it,” he said. “Come on. You have to try it if you’re ever going to learn to surf.”

  He looked behind him and pointed at the surfers coming in. A couple of them rode the waves all the way in. When they got closer, one of them waved at Jaxson. He flushed and waved back. When I got a better look, I realized it was a girl. She picked up her board and walked toward us, sending sprays of water flying when she shook her hair. It was hard to ignore the fact that her curves were perfectly accentuated in a wet suit. She smiled up at Jaxson, and against her tanned skin, her teeth gleamed bright. I waited for him to introduce us, but he stood still, looking transfixed by her beauty.

  I wished I could burrow into the sand like a crab, but then Jaxson spoke.

  “Heather, this is the friend I was telling you about…Mirabelle Hart. She’s a year younger than us but cool.”

  My hackles rose at that, but he smiled so charmingly, I shoved those feelings down and smiled at Heather. “Hi.” I held my hand up into a tiny wave and awkwardly dropped it when she didn’t say anything.

  She moved closer and
threw me completely off guard when she put her arm around my shoulder. “Aren’t you adorable!” she said, squeezing my shoulder. “Jaxson has told me all about you and how you’re like his sister. He’s missed you so much.” She gazed at me fondly, but I was stuck on the “sister” part and couldn’t quite formulate words.

  “You must be thinking of Gemma,” I muttered.

  “No, no. You’re Bells, right?”

  Glumly, I nodded. I looked at Jaxson then, hoping he’d say something—anything—to set her straight. Like his sister? But he just looked at us with such contentment on his face, I realized I was the one who needed to be set straight.

  8

  Past

  2010

  Life is really hard sometimes, D.

  Is it wrong that I don’t want to be an adult? I already feel like the oldest person in the room most of the time…like gnarly-grey-and-veiny old, not cool, I-know-the-wisdom-of-life old. What’s it going to be like when I really am the adult?

  I don’t think my heart can take the sadness.

  Our week in California was amazing. After we got over the initial adjustment of being around each other again, Jaxson and I got back to normal. We spent quite a bit of time with Jaxson’s friend Derek, who was almost as good-looking as Jaxson, and Heather, who I liked more than I had expected to. The time flew by and at the wedding, when I was crying over how beautiful everything was, I realized I never, ever wanted to go home. When my mum and I said our goodbyes at the airport, there were a lot of tears between us. Jaxson stood there stoically, but even he looked devastated.

  “Please come back soon,” Anne said, clasping my mum’s hand.

  Charles patted Anne’s back and passed each of us a tissue. I liked him. He didn’t talk much, but it was clear by the way he looked at Anne and Jaxson that he adored them.

  Anne and Charles were waiting until we left to take their honeymoon but hadn’t acted like they minded whatsoever, despite my mother’s protests that they should go on their wedding night.

  “Come back for Thanksgiving,” Charles added. “We’ll take care of everything. Just hurry back.”

  My mum smiled, but we both knew it would be a long time before we’d be able to do this again. She couldn’t afford to miss work, and even though it had worked out for us to fly on Charles’ plane, we didn’t want to assume that would happen again.

  “I’ll text you,” Jaxson promised. “Now that we both have phones,” he grinned at Charles, “it’ll be a lot easier.”

  I still couldn’t believe Charles had given me a phone. “So you and Jaxson don’t have to wait so long to hear from one another,” he’d said when he handed me the box with a big red ribbon around it. He swore to my mother that it was an extra one he had, but I thought it looked brand new. I’d squealed and hugged him and he’d flushed bright red but looked very pleased.

  I looked back at Jaxson until we had to round the corner and he waved each time. My steps felt heavier with every step away from him. I looked at Mum and tears were streaming down her face too. Afterward, I thought she must have known what we were going home to, but she didn’t say anything on the flight.

  We took a cab home and even then I still thought everything was okay. The house was dark when we pulled into the driveway and I looked at Mum. She patted my arm and the driver helped us get the luggage to the door. The note from my dad was on the table in the entry. It fluttered slightly when we came in the door, calling my attention to it. I picked it up and Mum snatched it from my hand. She read it then crumpled it into a ball with her fist and walked numbly to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

  Something was wrong, but I wasn’t sure what I could do about it. I knocked on my mother’s door and cracked it open. Her room was dark and she was in bed.

  “I’m exhausted, Mirabelle. Go to bed. We’ll talk in the morning.”

  I nodded. “It was a fun trip, wasn’t it?” I said softly.

  I shut the door and dragged my suitcase to my room. All the excitement from the week faded into bleak loneliness.

  * * *

  Mum didn’t come out of her room until the next afternoon. I’d unpacked my suitcase by then and done laundry all day. I had to go back to school the next day and wanted to wear the new outfit I’d gotten in California.

  “Mira?” she said, cracking my door open.

  She looked like she hadn’t slept at all. The rings around her eyes were dark and puffy.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, stepping toward her. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’ve made a decision,” she said. She smiled faintly and sat down on my bed.

  “Okay.” She was making me nervous, but I smiled back at her and waited for her to come out with it.

  “I didn’t tell you this because I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but Charles offered me a job with his company while we were there. I can start as soon as we get back there if I want. How would you feel about moving to California?” she said it calmly, as if her words wouldn’t completely change my life.

  My mouth hung open as I stared at her. I sat by her on the bed, taking her hand. “Are you serious? Yes! I love it there! When can we go?”

  She swallowed hard and looked like she wanted to cry.

  “Why aren’t you happy about it?” I asked quietly. “What about Dad?”

  “Your dad will stay here and sell the house. We’ll let him worry about that. We only need our necessities—we can get new furniture out there. It was time for an update anyway,” she said. “He’ll meet us when he’s quit his job and has everything squared away here.”

  “Okay.”

  I couldn’t believe it. I looked around my room and besides my clothes and a few things I had collected with Jaxson, I didn’t have an attachment to my furniture. It wouldn’t take long to be ready, but I couldn’t believe we were really going.

  “What was the note about?” I asked. “You seemed really upset.”

  “I was upset Dad wasn’t here when we got home, but he’s going through a rough time. The move will be good for him. It’ll be good for us.” Her eyes were resolute as she nodded and smoothed her shirt. “Anne said Charles has already set up our flight. We’ll go day after tomorrow.”

  “What? Day after tomorrow? Aren’t there…things we have to take care of here first? Not just the house, but…our whole life!” I stood up and turned around in my room, panicked. “I don’t have to take much, but seriously? Day after tomorrow?” I jumped up and down then went to pick up her hands and tried to get her to jump with me. “We’re moving to California?”

  She stood up and laughed with me. When we stopped, she hugged me and began to cry.

  “It’ll be good for us,” she repeated over and over.

  * * *

  So, just six months after Jaxson and Anne moved to California, there we were, following in their footsteps. I knew there was more to the story than what my mother would tell me. It was more than a job—I knew that. It was confirmed with the way Anne took Mum in her arms and held her as she wept.

  “It’ll be okay. We’re here for you,” Anne whispered to my mother.

  Jaxson looked more serious than usual when he said, “I’m glad you’re here, Bells.”

  “Do you know what’s going on?” I whispered when I got the chance.

  He shook his head. “I only overheard Mum saying she was angry with your dad.”

  I sighed, wishing someone would clue me in.

  We stayed with Jaxson while we searched for a place. Three days into our search, we found a cottage five minutes from Jaxson’s. It was tiny—but it was charming, and it had a view of the ocean that took my breath away. The best part about it was that we could move right in, and even though I loved staying with Jaxson, I hoped my dad would come sooner if we had our own place.

  Our second week there, I started school. It was within walking distance and Jaxson met me out front, his grin split wide open.

  “You ready?” he asked, falling into step with me. “You’ll love it here.
Everyone is so friendly.”

  I nodded. I wasn’t ready; I was extremely nervous. I lay awake the night before, my stomach churning with nerves.

  “I wish I had some classes with you,” I told him. “Not the first time I’ve wished that though.” I’d always hated being a year behind him, but I shrugged like it didn’t matter and walked through the door he held for me.

  “I have practice today,” he reminded me. “If you want to stay, I can walk home with you; otherwise, call me later to tell me how it went.” He saw a guy he knew and waved. He looked at me and shifted his bag into his other hand. “Smile. You look terrified.” He put his finger on my neck and made me look down then tweaked my nose, laughing as he walked away.

  I groaned. I fell for it every time.

  I walked into class after class where everyone already knew each other. Too occupied to pay attention to the new girl, they didn’t really notice me in the back until each teacher had me introduce myself. I got fleeting glances from a few people and a couple of girls introduced themselves, but by the end of the day, I wondered what Jaxson meant about everyone being so friendly.

  I didn’t see him all day and decided to wait for him after school. He was on the football field and stood out, even in his uniform. They seemed to be having a break because Jaxson and Derek were surrounded by cheerleaders. I pulled out my package of Reese’s peanut butter cups and sat on the bleachers behind a group of kids, watching where I hoped he couldn’t see me. He seemed to be in his element with all the pretty people hanging on his every word. Heather was in the group. She stepped closer to Jaxson and touched his arm, laughing at something he said. Over his shoulder, she looked up in the bleachers and saw me sitting there. Maybe it was for my benefit or maybe I was imagining things, but she leaned up on her tiptoes and whispered something in his ear then gave his hair a tug. He was completely oblivious to the fact that I was even there, and who could blame him? He had a beautiful girl who had claimed him before I even got here.