by Tim Greaton
warned.
“’Just need to grab my binoculars.” Gerald patted his chest. “’Forgot them in the refrigerator.”
“Your binoculars are in your fridge?”
Gerald shrugged and said, “That’s where I keep the milk,” as though that was somehow supposed to make sense.
“Zachary!” came a shrill voice. “Zachary!”
He waited just long enough to see Gerald slide safely to the ground then hurried out into the dining room where he could see Madame Kloochie standing in the living room holding the phone receiver.
“Your coach is on the phone,” she said.
Zachary didn’t have a coach.
She tossed the handset on top of a pile of dirty socks in the chair beside her, then slumped back onto her couch. The long seat sagged―as it had every right to do―then sprang back up in the middle. Whoever made that particular piece of furniture deserved a statue.
“Don’t keep him waiting,” Madame Kloochie said, eyes narrowing. “I’m sure your coach must be anxious to have your skinny butt playing football for him.”
By this time, Zachary suspected who might be on the phone and, judging from the look on Madame Kloochie’s face, she suspected it, too.
“I figured joining the team would toughen me up,” Zachary said. He lifted his cast. “That way I won’t get picked on so much.”
Madame Kloochie’s eyebrows rose.
“I’ll get it in the kitchen,” he said.
The big woman continued to glare as he hurried through the swinging kitchen door and grabbed the wall phone. Of course, it had frosting smeared all over it.
“I’ve got it!” he yelled so she could hear in the other room. He made a face and wiped most of the frosting on his pants.
“Is that you, Zach?” a poorly disguised voice asked.
“Hold on a second..., Coach.” Zachary pushed the door open and saw Madame Kloochie had the living room phone pressed to her ear.
“I’ve got it!” he repeated.
She scowled but placed the receiver back in its cradle. He heard the click in his own handset and ducked back into the kitchen.
“Uncle Ned, did you find him? Is my dad all right?”
16) History and Secrets
“Not yet, Sport, but I’m working on it.” His uncle’s garbled voice sounded more like a mouthful of bread than the foreign accent he was trying for.
“I need to help find my dad,” Zachary said. “I’ll go anyplace you want, do anything you want. Please come get me!”
“She’s not on the line, is she?” his uncle asked, his poor disguise still in use.
Pushing the door open a crack, Zachary could see Madame Kloochie hovering over the phone. He eased the door closed. “She’s off but probably not for long. Will you come get me?”
“Things are worse than I hoped,” his uncle said, dropping the disguise. “Your father has gone off planet.”
“Off planet!” Zachary said. Then more quietly, “What does that mean? Like he went to the moon or something?”
“I can’t get into it over the phone, buddy,” his uncle said. “But it looks like your dad went back to Pandemone our home world, which is not out in space, at least that’s not how people get back and forth. There are corridors, very long magical corridors.”
Zachary immediately remembered Doctor Gefarg talking about the Corridors. “Is that where Krage is,” he asked, “on the world where our family comes from?”
“Yeah, Sport, it is.”
Zachary forgot about his throbbing arm, aching back and even the rotten stench of Madame Kloochie’s house. Instead, his mind was focused on one thing: his father was in danger!
“You’re not getting into any fights, are you?” his uncle asked.
“How could I,” Zachary said. “I’ve been cleaning ever since I got here.”
“You’ll survive, Buddy.”
“I hope,” Zachary said. Just then, he pulled a gray piece of cloth from between the refrigerator and stove. Horrified, he realized a pair of women’s underwear hung from his fingertips. Four people could have crawled inside. Disgusted, he threw them onto the stack of dirty clothes he and Bret had piled up the day before. “But there were a lot of bats last night.”
“Bats!”
“Yeah, bats. The old guy next door said there were thousands of them last night.”
“Did they try to get into your house?” There was urgency in his uncle’s voice.
“No, but they circled above the street for a while.”
“Sounds like Krage hasn’t pinpointed you yet. But he’s getting close. I hoped that having you live so close to the nostrils would have confused him.”
“The nostrils?” Zachary asked.
“Look, Sport, it doesn’t matter right now. The important thing is that you’re reasonably safe right now.”
“I should be with you.”
“You have to trust me on this, Sport. This isn’t a game. I know you’re not having a good time, but things are too dangerous right now. Your cousin Ted was found dead the night before you and I left Boston. That means you, me and your dad are the only Pills left.”
Zachary fell silent.
“They found Ted in the backyard with his head cut off.”
“Gross, Uncle Ned! I’m still a kid, you know.”
“You need to understand that Krage is tracking down our entire family and killing us one by one. I don’t want you to be the next dead Pill.”
“I’d be safer with you.”
“The last thing your dad and I need is to worry about you.”
Wiping at the tears that suddenly streaked his cheeks, Zachary said, “Does Krage know my dad is going there?”
“Maybe,” Uncle Ned admitted. “Krage has ruled Pandemone ever since he stole the throne from your grandfather over forty years ago, and kings know a lot.”
“My grandfather was a king?”
“On Pandemone our family name was Lip,” Uncle Ned said. “My father—your grandfather—reversed it when we escaped to Earth over forty years ago. And, yes, he was Mer Sevilip, Pandemone’s king. Your dad would probably have been king by now if it hadn’t been for Krage’s rebellion.”
“So that’s why Krage is killing all of the Pills? He’s afraid we’ll take the throne back?”
“Your father never wanted to be the king of anywhere, but Krage made the mistake of putting you in danger. And your dad will do anything to protect you, Sport.”
“Even if it means taking on an entire world by himself?”
“Your dad is one of the most powerful wizards that ever lived, on Earth or Pandemone.”
“Stronger than you?”
Uncle Ned laughed.
“The most powerful wizards don’t need muscles. They rely on magic instead.”
“Is Dad stronger than Krage?”
“That’s why I called, Sport. Your dad might beat Ker Sevikrage but he can’t fight the entire Krage family alone. I have to go help him.”
“I could fight,” Zachary said.
“Sport, you’re a helluva kid, but you’re not a wizard.”
“I could learn.”
“You’re only half Pandemone, Sport, so I’m not sure you can learn magic; but even if you could there’s no time to teach you.”
“I can study as we travel!” Zachary insisted.
“I’m sorry, Sport, but for now it’s better that you stay with Flora. I know she’s odd, but she’ll keep you safe.”
“But—”
“But nothing. I’ll find your dad and get him back here. I promise.”
Zachary mind swam. He wanted to ask a thousand questions, but at that moment the dining room floor creaked. He started to ease the door open, but it suddenly jerked forward and pulled him into the dining room where he fell and hit his head on the table leg. Somehow, he managed to keep his grip on the phone receiver.
“Give me that!” Madame Kloochie exclaimed. “I know who’s on the phone!”
“I’ll be to practice on time, Coach,�
� Zachary said hurriedly. “My arm should be healed by―”
Madame Kloochie snatched the receiver. “Hi, Sweetie.”
Uncle Ned must have hung up because her expression grew sour. Thick lips twisted and she glared down at Zachary.
“That man has a crush on me,” she said, “and you better―” She reached into the kitchen and slammed the phone receiver onto its hook. The extra flesh under her arm jiggled like a bag of water. “―tell him to stop fighting it and visit me!”
Under different circumstances Zachary might have laughed, but as Madame Kloochie stomped back to her couch, all he could think about was that his cousin Ted was dead and his father might be next.
17) One Bully, One Ally
Zachary rushed to get dressed so he could open Madame Kloochie’s store on time. Though he had no idea what he would be doing, it made sense to be on time given how angry she had been about Uncle Ned’s call. Unfortunately, it was a minute past nine when he hurried through the dining room. Madame Kloochie sat on the couch with one hand on her lap and the other hidden suspiciously behind her back. Newly applied purple lipstick smiled wickedly at him.
“I told you to open my store by nine o’clock,” she said. “You’re late.”
Zachary gauged the distance to the front door: about six steps. Could he make it?
Her arm snapped back.
Too late!
Zachary raced through the living room and yanked the hall door open.
“I warned you,” Madame Kloochie exclaimed as a Boston cream donut hurtled toward his head. Zachary jumped through the doorway and slammed the door just in time to hear the gooey pastry smash against the other side.
“Don’t forget to turn the sign to “OPEN” and unlock the front door,” she yelled.
He leaned against the stairway wall and let out a sigh. No wonder he and Bret had been forced to wash a dozen spots of
