“Ow!! Must have hurt.” Her eyes widened. “Let me kiss you better.” She kissed him over the tat, somewhere just above his heart. Her soft lips felt like heaven against his skin. “What made you get it?”
“Nothing special.” He answered, meaning every word. He really didn’t want to have this conversation.
Cassidy frowned. “Why would you get a tattoo for no reason? Go through all that for nothing”
York lifted his brows. “It’s nothing. We all got one.” He dropped down, taking her nipple into his mouth praying that she would drop it.
Cassidy shrugged him off. “Oh…who’s everyone?”
“The guys.” Leave it the fuck alone.
“Guys?” Her frown deepened.
“The ten of us.” He couldn’t say the words.
She sucked in a labored breath and he watched her shut down. Her eyes flashed away from his. Her arm came up across her chest and her mouth tensed. “As in, the rest of the guys enrolled in the breeding program?” It wasn’t a question really, but rather a statement.
“Yeah...the dating program.” It was his turn to look away.
She let out a shuddery breath. “This isn’t…I’m not sure…” Her face took on a pinched look and her eyes still wouldn’t meet his.
Fuck!
This was it. The moment he had been dreading. York clenched his teeth so hard that he tasted blood and reveled in it. He’d hurt her…again. At least this proved that she had feelings for him. The knowledge gave him strength for what he was about to propose. She had to buy into it or he didn’t know what he would do.
“What the hell are we doing?” She finally blurted. “I should’ve left town days ago. I mean, are you sleeping with them as well as me?” She made a freaked out noise. “No, don’t answer that. It’s none of my business.” Her eyes were wide and her lip quivered. A tear tracked down her cheek. He heard her mutter something about the lighting which made no sense to him.
“Please don’t cry, Cass.” He couldn’t stand to see her like this.
She quickly wiped away the tear. “I’m not crying. It’s the harsh lighting in here. It always makes my eyes water.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Always. I have sensitive eyes.” Her voice hitched, belying her emotion.
Using the pad of his thumb, York wiped away the moisture at the corner of her eye. “You can admit that you are crying.”
“I’m not damn well crying.” She shook her head, her hair flew about her face.
“I’m in love with you.” He growled, watching as different emotions registered on her face. Shock to elation to pain. It clouded her eyes and pinched her features even more. Another tear tracked down her honeyed skin.
Cassidy swallowed hard, shaking her head. “No, don’t say that. We can’t be together so it’s useless information. It’ll confuse things…make things more difficult.”
“We can be together,” York growled. “We have to find a way. I can see you feel the same about me whether you are willing to admit it or not.”
She lifted her gaze and stared at him in the eyes for a long while. “It doesn’t matter how I feel.”
“It does.” He took her hand. “I’ll get you into the program, Cass. All you have to do is agree. Please.”
She shook her head even harder and stood up off the bed before pulling her dress back on. “You have to leave. Go.” She pointed in the general direction of the door. When he didn’t respond, other than to gape at her, she threw his shirt at him. “Go!” She yelled this time. “You and me are never going to happen. This thing between us is over. It has to be.”
York leapt up off the bed and came to land in front of her. Cassidy’s expression changed from one of pain to one of shock. Vampires could move pretty fast when they wanted to.
“How can you say that? I just told you that I’m in love with you and I would bet serious money that you feel the same way about me. I’m not going anywhere.”
She chewed on her lip, her eyes looked anguished.
“Tell me that you don’t feel anything for me and I’ll leave…right fucking now.”
Cassidy shook her head. “Don’t do this. Just go, York.” She turned away from him.
“I’ll say it again”—he let out an exasperated sigh—“I’m not going anywhere, Cass. I’m going to get you into the program whether you like it or not. I’m fucking in love with you and I’m going to find a way to be with you. If you won’t fight for us then I’ll have to do it for the both of us.” York felt desperate. Her reaction told him that she felt the same. Why wouldn’t she just admit it?
Cassidy let out a big gust of air. Her eyes were tear soaked. Her lip actually fucking wobbled and he curled his hands into fists wanting to kill the thing that was making her feel this way. Not sure what the hell it was.
A small whimper escaped her and she pursed her lips together for a few beats. “It won’t work, York. It just won’t work.” His name on her lips made him want to fall to his knees in front of her and beg…fucking beg. For all he was worth and he would gladly do it if he knew it would help.
“You can’t know that,” he growled. “We have to at least try.”
Her eyes fluttered closed and she put a hand to her forehead. “You don’t understand.”
“Make me understand, Cass,” he growled. “Why is it that I’m willing to fight and you’re not? Is this one sided? Was it just about the sex for you?” He could hear how wounded he sounded and there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it.
“It wasn’t just about the sex and you know it!” She yelled, her eyes on fire with a mix of emotions.
“All I know is that any time I mention something deep or meaningful like how much I’ve missed you or how I long to wake up with you, you clamp up or change the subject. You even turn my words around making them sound flippant. I want to wake up with you…every damned morning. I miss you to fucking death when I’m away from you for any length of time.”
“We hardly even know each other.” Her voice sounded incredulous.
“There you go again.” It came out sounding gruff. York clenched his jaw, feeling his molars roll together. He tried hard to get a handle on his emotions. “I know you well enough, Cass. I’ve been with plenty of females and it was never like this. I can’t get enough of you and it’s only becoming more intense the more time I spend with you. You are it for me.”
“No, no…” She repeated the word several times. “This needs to end before…” She let the sentence die.
“Before what, Cass?” He was growling but couldn’t help it. “Before what?” he growled again, louder this time when she didn’t answer him.
“Before we’re in too deep!” Her voice was shrill.
“Too fucking late. I’m already in over my head and so are you. Why are you being so damned stubborn? I want you, Cass…I want us.” He cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “I want you as my mate.” And there it was. Out in the open. All his hopes, dreams, every one of his feelings were on his sleeve. Exposed.
Her heart rate picked up a whole lot and she licked her lips before sucking in a shuddery breath. “I can’t.”
It hurt to breathe. His chest ached. “Why? You’d better have a damned good reason.”
“I’m infertile!” She all out yelled. Saying the one thing he least expected. Cassidy sniffed, pulling free of his grip. “Don’t you see? Your kings would never accept me into their program. I’m broken…flawed. There will be no children’s laughter or cute, cuddly babies in my life.” Her tears fell freely but she wiped them away with an angry swipe pulling in a breath which she held deep inside her until the tears stopped.
“Fuck, Cass.” It wasn’t the best thing to say in this situation but he was at a total loss.
“I have a really bad form of anovulation. It’s normally treatable with drugs but…” She shrugged once, pulling her lip between her teeth. “It didn’t work on me. Sean and I tried to conceive for over two years. We had plenty of shitty sex but it didn’t help…nothing d
id. The chances of my ever actually conceiving a baby is almost at zero. I don’t ovulate like normal women…” The tears continued to stream down her face. Big drops of pain and anguish. “I don’t ovulate period.” Her lashes were soaked. Her nose ran freely. “I even tried fertility drugs, designed to stimulate the ovaries into producing eggs. It was awful…” She continued to cry. “I got hot flashes, bloating and terrible headaches. What I didn’t get was pregnant. I can’t be with you, York.”
“Cassidy,” he whispered. It felt like his heart had just been ripped out of his fucking chest. He was in a semi state of shock. Numbness seeped into him.
What the fuck did he say to that?
How did he make this better?
“I can’t join your program.” She yelled, pushing him in the direction of the door. York allowed himself to be shoved. “I can’t become your mate. You need to go now.” Her voice was a little hysterical.
York struggled to think coherently. It felt like his whole future had just been snatched away. Another shove and he stumbled in the direction of her front door. “We need to talk about this,” he said.
“What’s to talk about?” At least her tears had dried up. “Just go, York. Choose one of those women.” Her voice hitched. “You and I both know that your uptight king will never allow an infertile woman into the breeding program.” She gave a humorless snort. “I can’t let you forgo on your dreams.” Another hard shove and he was outside her front door.
He couldn’t recall her even opening it. “Cass, please.”
Her face crumbled as she closed the door in his face. He pushed his hands up against the wood. “Let me in.” He knocked a few times. “Cass, please. Let’s talk about this. This doesn’t change my feelings for you. It doesn’t change anything.”
Chapter 14
Buildings and houses sped by. York had to force himself to take his foot off the gas. To stop at the red light. He gunned it as soon as the light turned green, having to force himself to slow down all over again. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel. Everything inside him was a tense churning mess.
After standing outside her door for at least a half an hour, York had finally left. Only because he was afraid one of her neighbors might end up calling the cops. He didn’t want trouble for the covens. Not with all the negative press the program had already received.
As he turned onto the open country road, York pushed down on the gas putting Sweetwater behind him.
The longer he had stood there banging on her door, the more he realized that he’d meant every word. He loved Cassidy. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t bear him children. If his choices were a lifetime with someone he didn’t love and a house full of kids or being with Cassidy, there was just no contest. York was hooked on her beautiful smile, her stunning eyes, that splash of freckles over her little nose made something inside of him clench every time he saw them. The sound of her laughter, the softness of her touch…every damned thing about her drove him wild. There was no one else for him.
The Program could go to hell. So could Brant for that matter.
Minutes later, he pulled up to the castle. Parking in a spray of gravel and exiting the vehicle like his butt was on fire.
Someone shouted his name but he ignored it, not even turning to see who it was that needed him. It could all wait.
He made his way down the hall that led to Brant’s office. If the male wasn’t there, his personal assistant would be able to tell York where he could find his king.
Gideon was in the waiting area. York gave the male a curt nod and walked over to Allison’s desk.
The female continued to type at her computer, which annoyed the hell out of him. York put both hands on her desk and leaned in. If this didn’t get her attention he’d close her laptop and force her to acknowledge him.
Allison stuck the tip of her manicured nail between her lips and lifted her eyes to him. “Anything I can help you with?”
“I need to see Brant right now…please.” He added the last as he watched her eyes widen and her brows lift.
She removed the finger and gave him a regretful smile. “He is busy at the moment. His schedule is fully booked for the day.”
Gideon made a snorting noise. When York looked over at him, he shook his head looking pissed.
“If you’re going to insist…like others I know.” Allison looked pointedly at Gideon. “You’ll need to get in line.” She gestured to the seat next to the male.
“All I need is five minutes.” Gideon growled, looking agitated, his muscles were bunched, even his hands were fists on his lap. York had never seen him this way.
Allison shook her head, drawing his attention back to her. “No can do. That goes for the both of you…” Her gaze moved back to York. “Come back in”—she typed on the keyboard, her face illuminated by the computer screen—“three days. He has a half hour slot at—”
“Forget it,” Gideon growled. “I’ll sit right here until he sees me…in fact…” The male rose to his feet. “I’ll go and talk with Zane.”
Sheesh, his role as head guard of the program must be taking its toll on him. There were dark smudges under his eyes and they were bloodshot as well. That’s when he caught a whiff of Gideon’s scent. It was as he brushed past him.
Human.
Too much to just be from casual contact but not enough to be caused from rutting. What the…Gideon must have caught his quizzical look because he clenched his teeth. “Don’t even go there. It’s not what you think.”
York put his hands up. “I didn’t say a thing. It’s none of my business.”
“Damn straight it’s not…” Gideon took a step towards the door.
“What the fuck are the two of you doing here? You…” Brant half snarled the word as his eyes narrowed on the other male. “Fuck, Gideon…I gave you my answer yesterday. It’s not going it happen. Rules are rules. My answer is still no, so unless you are here for something else I suggest you leave.”
Gideon’s jaw tensed along with every other muscle in his body. “I was just going.” His voice was low and only just shy of a growl. Taking long, fast strides, he left the room.
Brant shook his head. “You had better not be here for anything other than to report on your duties as my Elite Leader.” He put emphasis on the word. “Or to tell me how you are struggling to choose between the human females in the program because they are all so fucking amazing.”
York shook his head. “I am here to discuss her.”
Brant’s eyes turned dark and stormy…as in hurricanes and tornadoes. “I wasn’t born yesterday. I know you’ve been leaving our territory. I know where you’ve been going.” He snorted. “To think I had hoped that you would get her out of your system. I’m a fucking idiot. Get in there.” He gestured inside his office.
“Not the table.” Allison called after them. “Try not to hit anything.” He heard her add just before the door closed.
“Sit the fuck down.” Brant stormed behind his desk but didn’t sit himself. “You had better not be here to ask what I think you are going to ask.” He cursed loudly, not giving York a chance to talk. “I’m not bringing her into the program.” He paced up and down. “Fuck that, York. It wouldn’t be fair of me. It’s not fair of you to ask.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I should have you flogged, should throw your ass into the fucking dungeon. You don’t deserve to be in the program.”
He finally stopped pacing and turned to face York, eyes blazing.
York took a deep breath. “Good. We’re on the same page then because I want out.”
Brant snarled, hitting both his hands on the desk which splintered. The entire structure collapsed in a flurry of papers and files. Brant’s computer crashed just to the right of York’s foot.
The door opened and Allison put her head around the jamb. She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically before closing the door.
“Why? You can’t have her anyway!” Brant yelled.
“Ross got to have his mate. I wa
nt mine. Cassidy is my mate, Brant. I don’t care if I have to live in Sweetwater. I don’t care if you throw me in the fucking dungeon, it won’t change the way I feel about her.”
The sound of a ringtone stopped him for a second but when Brant ignored it, York carried on talking. “I love her, Brant. I don’t want any other female.”
Allison stuck her head around the jamb. “Sorry to interrupt but there is a female at the gate claiming that York will want to see her. She has an expired entry pass. Her name is Cassidy Parker and—”
“Let her in.” York growled, feeling his heart accelerate and his breath freeze in his lungs and all at the same time. She had come…for him.
Cassidy was here.
Allison turned her gaze to Brant. After several long seconds, his king nodded. “Send her here.”
Allison nodded and closed the door.
York let out a ragged breath. “Thank you.” He locked eyes with Brant.
“This doesn’t mean I’m agreeing to anything.” He ran another hand through his hair. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were dark.
After a minute or two, he grabbed his phone and dialed. York could hear Zane answer. Brant relayed the events to the other male.
“I’m kind of busy dealing with an issue.” was his cryptic reply. “Whatever you decide is fine with me.”
“Fine.” Brant ended the call. “Your female must join the program. We need to keep this above board,” he growled. “We can’t have our males getting funny ideas. We’ve had protestors at the gate. Just as much bad fucking press as good. We know for a fact that there is a faction out to get the royal family and maybe even the elite in the program. Vigilante shit is not going to fly.” He sighed loudly. “Clearly you care too much about this female to let it go.”
“She can’t join the program.” York said, keeping his eyes on the male. “She is infertile.”
Brant’s face contorted in rage and he cursed a whole string of hard words. “I thought you were desperate to procreate.”
A Mate for York (The Program Book 1) Page 15
