by Kate Stacy
KATE STACY
Contents
Long Road Home
Copyright
Playlist
Dedication
Quote
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Thirty-Two
Thirty-Three
Thirty-Four
Thirty-Five
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Coming Soon
About the Author
Connect
Long Road Home
Copyright © 2019 by Kate Stacy
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written consent of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Editing & Proofreading: Tracy Atencio
Cover Photo: Crystal Shaw / Unsplash
Back Cover Photo: Alice Hampson / Unsplash
Chapter Banner Graphic: rawpixel.com / Freepik
Cover Design: Kate Stacy
Some of the songs on the playlist are mentioned in the book; others are songs that captured the feel of a certain scene or that I listened to while writing the book.
Listen to the playlist on Spotify.
Marry Me – Thomas Rhett
What Ifs – Kane Brown ft. Lauren Alaina
Drunk Me – Mitchell Tenpenny
Small Town Boy – Dustin Lynch
Bottoms Up – Brantley Gilbert ft. T.I.
Something ‘Bout You – Sir Rosevelt
Meant to Be – Bebe Rexha ft. Florida Georgia Line
Ride – Chase Rice ft. Macy Maloy
Highway Don’t Care – Tim McGraw ft. Taylor Swift
DJ Got Us Fallin’ in Love – Usher ft. Pitbull
Starving – Hailee Steinfeld
Alive – Adelitas Way
Something Just Like This – The Chainsmokers ft. Coldplay
Good for You – Selena Gomez ft. A$AP Rocky
Tequila – Dan + Shay
Turn the Page – Metallica
Mirrors – Justin Timberlake
Just the Way You Are – Bruno Mars
Most Girls – Hailee Steinfeld
One Little Kiss (Never Killed Nobody) – Jake Owen
I Like Me Better – Lauv
What Makes You Beautiful – One Direction
Where It’s At – Dustin Lynch
Pull Me Deep – Logan Henderson
There Goes My Everything – Kane Brown
Yours – Russell Dickerson
Eyes on You – Chase Rice
Not a Bad Thing – Justin Timberlake
PILLOWTALK – ZAYN
With You – Jessica Simpson
Move Along – The All-American Rejects
To my husband.
For humoring me when I talk nonstop about books.
Muah!
“Chase your dreams but always know
the road that will lead you home again.”
- Tim McGraw
HAILEE
This isn’t exactly what I expected when I answered the call from my best friend. I couldn’t have heard him right.
There’s no way—
“You heard me, Hails.” He chuckles. “I’m getting married.”
Oops. Guess I said that out loud.
Happiness. Sadness. Anger. Jealousy. Joy. Love.
The conflicting emotions slam into me all at once, making me feel like my heart dropped to the floor and shattered at my feet.
I blink back my tears and steady my voice before I speak. “Wow! I’m so happy for you, Gray.”
I mean it. I am happy for him.
Grayson is my best friend, my rock. His happiness is everything to me, but that doesn’t mean I’m not heartbroken that it’s someone else making him this happy.
“Thanks, sweetheart. I know you’re surprised. It’s sudden...but...she’s the one.”
“Definitely surprised…”
“We’re getting married in October.”
“That’s only four months from now.” Is he serious?
Damn, the hits just keep coming. There’s no way I can hide my shock.
“Yeah, but she wants a fall wedding at that little church by the lake and we didn’t want to wait until next year.” He sighs and continues, “I thought you’d be happy for me—you’re my best friend.”
“I am happy for you, Gray. I promise. I’m just really, really stunned. I didn’t realize y’all were so serious already.”
“I know it’s cliché, but when your heart knows, it knows. You’ll understand what I mean one day.”
I sigh. “We’re not talking about me.”
I really don’t want to talk about the sad state of my love life.
Not right now.
Definitely not with him.
“What do you need from me for the wedding? How can I help?”
“The only thing I need from you is for you to be standing at my side on my wedding day. Be my best man?”
I laugh through the tears. “I can’t be your best man, Grayson. I don’t have a dick.”
“You know what I mean, Hails. I couldn’t do this without you.” I can hear his smile in his words.
“You know I will. I’d do anything for you.” Absolutely anything. I’m pathetic.
“I know and that’s why I love you so much.”
If only he loved me like I love him.
“I love you too, Gray. You deserve nothing but happiness.”
I’ve gotten good at hiding my emotions over the years, but I’m quickly losing control. It’s a struggle to keep my voice from breaking.
I honestly never thought this day would come.
Grayson is my best friend. He’s not a bad guy, but he never keeps a girlfriend for more than a couple of months. He always finds something wrong with them—usually because they have a problem with our friendship.
Him getting married? I’m still at a loss for words.
Tara is great and seems really good for him, but it’s only been a few months.
I hear a noise behind me and turn to see Elijah walking towards me. I didn’t realize he’d woken up. He rubs his sleepy eyes as I pull him onto my lap.
He looks at my face and puts his small hand to my cheek. “Mama, you sad.”
I sigh. “It’s okay honey.” I kiss his forehead and snuggle him close. I almost forget that I’m on the phone.
“Aw, little man is up? How’s my godson doing?” Grayson asks.
Thank fuck he didn’t hear what Elijah said.
“He’s good, getting big. You really need to come to see us. We miss you.” I tell him.
He’s been through e
verything with me, so it was only natural to make him Elijah’s godfather. They’re especially close, but it’s been a few weeks since we’ve gotten together.
“Work has been crazy busy, but I’ll make time soon. I promise.”
“We’re here when you do. I’m gonna go, so I can get this little monster back to bed.” I rub my hand up and down Elijah’s back.
I’m so thankful for the chance to end this call. I need some time to get my feelings back under control and bury them deep. It’s not that I’m not thrilled for him. I am. He deserves all the joy he’s feeling. It’s my own baggage causing problems for me now.
“No problem, sweetheart. Give him some love for me and I’ll call you soon about getting together. Goodnight Hails.”
“‘Night Gray.”
I tap the ‘end call’ button on the screen and hug my son a little tighter. He turns his head up and kisses my cheek. “Lub you, mama.”
“I love you too, baby boy. Let’s get you back to bed—it’s late.” I rub my nose to his, stand up and carry him to his room. I get him tucked in and sing to him softly until his eyes close and I can hear his breathing slow.
I quietly leave his room and pull his door mostly shut. It’s going to be a long night. I grab some wine from the kitchen and take it to my small living room where my laptop is waiting. I’m not in the right frame of mind to finish writing this paper for class, but it has to be done. I start typing, but soon get lost in thoughts about Grayson.
We’ve been friends for almost ten years—since sophomore year of high school. We had mutual friends but didn’t really know each other until one morning when I got to school, and he approached me. Apparently, my then-boyfriend had cheated on me and everyone knew, but only Grayson had the balls to tell me. He didn’t even really know me but was man enough—even at sixteen—to tell me when everyone else stood by saying nothing. He comforted me and held me while my tears soaked the front of his hoodie. We’ve been close since that day. I’ve been in love with him since not long after.
Grayson is my person. He’s the one I always go to when life gets rough. He never hesitates to comfort or support me without judgment. He’s also never shown even the smallest hint that he feels anything for me other than friendship. I know that he doesn’t feel more for me, but that doesn’t stop my love for him. I’ve kept it inside all this time and I’ll continue to keep it inside.
He deserves happiness. If marrying Tara is what gives him that—I’ll stand by his side and support him.
I never had a chance. Never will. I’ve been single for so long, but I’m doing fine on my own.
Maybe if I say that enough I can convince myself it’s true.
I’d love nothing more than having a man to come home to each night—to have a father figure for my son—but I just don’t see it happening for me. I’ll have to learn to be happy with that.
No one wants a girl like me anyway.
HAILEE
Exhausted and wrung out.
There’s no other way to describe how I’m feeling today.
After submitting my paper, I ended up crying myself to sleep. I woke up regretting the wine I had. I don’t want to be at work today, but I don’t have the luxury of calling in unless I’m actually dying. Even then—someone has to come in and bake. After dropping Elijah off with my mom for the day, I hauled my tired ass into the bakery and got to work.
I’m bent over, pulling a pan of muffins from the oven when someone slaps my ass. “What the hell?!” I spin around and see my friend, Madalyn. I didn’t hear her come in.
She’s grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “Sorry, doll. That ass was begging to be smacked.”
“Bitch.” I laugh, as I start moving the muffins from the pan to a tray.
“Oh, you love me!” She snatches a muffin, taking a huge bite. “Mmm. Peanut butter chocolate chip. My favorite. This proves you love me.”
“Yeah, yeah. Get to work. You’ve got a ton of orders to finish today.”
“You got it, boss.” She laughs and turns toward the cooler to get what she needs.
Madalyn is my other best friend. We’ve known each other for about three years—since I moved to Blackwood from my hometown, so I could be closer to my parents. While Grayson is my rock and lifeline, Mads is my ride-or-die. This girl is absolutely amazing and always has my back. Without question. No matter what.
The Sweet Spot Bakeshop—the bakery where I work—is owned by her grandmother, but she hired me on as the manager because Madalyn has no interest in the business end of things. She’s completely content using her creativity as the cake decorator.
“So, you look like shit. What gives?” She asks after pulling out her supplies.
“Wow, thanks Mads.” I roll my eyes, stirring the batter I’m mixing.
“You know I don’t sugarcoat shit. Stop avoiding the question.”
“Ugh. Grayson is getting married.” I have to stop working as tears blur my vision.
She slowly turns to look at me with a look of disbelief. “Are you serious? They’ve been together for like...a minute!”
This is exactly why we’re friends. “That was my first thought, too. He proposed, though, and she said yes. They’re getting married in October.” I state the facts like the words don’t burn coming from my lips.
“She’s pregnant!” The way her eyes widen, and her jaw drops makes me want to laugh, but I only shake my head.
“No. At least I’m pretty sure she’s not. Grayson would have told me. He loves her. Said she’s it for him.” I wipe my eyes on my sleeve and start mixing again. “I’ve loved him since high school. All this time I’ve stood by and watched him with all these other girls, knowing he’d never feel the same for me.”
“I know honey, and you always told me you would rather be his friend than nothing at all—that’s why you’re so close. You still have your friendship. Him getting married isn’t going to change that.”
I bite my bottom lip and sigh. “I know. Realistically, in my head, I know. My heart just doesn’t care.”
I wish my heart and head would get on the same page, or at the very least—the same chapter.
“Dollface, are you okay?” She looks at me with sympathy before pulling me into a hug.
“I will be. I always am. I just need time to process and put my feelings back in a neat little box, so I can get over him.”
“Ha! There’s nothing ‘neat’ about that box—it’s messy as hell. And what you need...well, what you need is to find some random, hot as hell guy and give him the business.” She looks at me with a stern, but playful look before flipping her silver braid over her shoulder and turning away from me. “The best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else.”
I roll my eyes as I laugh and throw a paper muffin liner at her. “You’re ridiculous and that is so cliché.” At least she stopped me from crying again.
She throws it back at me and sing-songs, “Maybe cliché, but I’m not wrong.”
“Mads…” I sigh. “You know I can’t do that—I don’t have time to date.”
“Girl, I said absolutely nothing about dating.” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “I said you need the D. You don’t have to date for that. When is the last time you had a big O that didn’t require batteries?”
“Really, Mads? I’m not answering that. Besides, I can’t do casual.”
“Why not? You’re single. Gorgeous. Body of a goddess. No reason for you not to have a healthy sex life.” She looks at me like she’s expecting me to object. She’s right. I am.
“You’re wrong. I’m a twenty-four-year-old awkward and overweight, single mom whose entire life revolves around her child, work, and school. What hot, single, decent guy wants to get involved in my mess?”
She sighs and shakes her head. “I wish you saw yourself like everyone else sees you.”
“Look, I know you mean well and you’re trying to look out for me, but I just can’t right now. I’m already dealing with this in my own way and I can’t pu
t myself out there and risk being hurt any more than I already have been.”
“I get it. I do. You knew there would never be a ‘you and Grayson’. You’ve said yourself it was never going to happen. You haven’t put yourself out there since Elijah’s dad left. Not every guy is like him.”
My emotions finally take over and I snap. “Yeah, well, you wouldn’t put yourself out there either if the man you were in love with cheated on you while you were pregnant with his baby and left you for the slut he was screwing!”
Her head jerks back as if I physically slapped her. Fuck. “No, you’re right. I have no fucking idea what it’s like to be betrayed by the one person that’s supposed to love me the most. Girl, you know I love you and we went through two very different fucked-up situations. It’s like comparing apples to oranges, but in the end, I picked myself back up and moved forward. You’re stuck on shit that shouldn’t even matter anymore.”
I wish I could eat my words.
She’s so fucking right. I feel like an asshole.
We met at a significant time in our lives when we were both down and broken. Sometimes it’s easier to lean on a stranger and our friendship grew from the ashes of our tragic pasts. We helped each other through the worst times of our lives. I know she won’t hold my words against me, but it doesn’t lessen my guilt for speaking them.
“Fuck Mads...I’m sorry. I know the hell you’ve been through. I didn’t mean...I just…” I groan my frustration. “I’m just hurt. It’s fresh and I’m not ready to jump into bed with someone anytime soon. Before this, I was happy with my life—I am happy with my life.”
I lean in, resting my head on her shoulder.
She shakes her head, giving me a sad smile. “No honey, you’re not happy—you’re just content and that’s okay, but I would love to see you really happy. I’ll let it go...for now, but you know I’ve got you.”
Even when we argue she still has my back.
“That’s because you’re the best.” I smile, pulling her in for a hug, thinking the conversation is over.
“You know what will help you feel better though…”
“Mads…” I growl at her.
