She recalled the trip they had taken to the wedding of a friend over in Elizabeth Town. It was a long drive. She and Tony had stopped over at a motel on the way back home. It was her idea, but he didn’t need much convincing. He was the first man she had ever experienced. She remembered being overwhelmed by his passion. She also recalled his tenderness, his longing to please her, his kisses. Oh, those kisses! The tears began to flow as she called forth images of being held in his arms, his lips and her lips melting together, their souls becoming one. He was the only man she ever slept with.
Nine months later, Miguel was born. Tony had been good to her during the pregnancy, that is, when he was around. He had spent a lot of time going to towns down near the coast, trying to find a job selling motorcycles. He often talked about going back to West Virginia. Juliana’s father didn’t trust him. They would need to raise Miguel. No use pretending otherwise.
Juliana made a decision. She would tell Miguel who Tony was. Thank God, they would have the pictures taken just before Tony left. In time, she would locate Tony’s family and take Miguel to see them.
Before Tony had come back on the scene, Juliana and Pablo had talked about changing Miguel’s last name to Méndez. Now, that Tony had appeared and Miguel had just about figured out who he was, it didn’t seem proper to tamper with Miguel’s name. When it came time to enroll her son in school, Juliana would register him as Miguel Wallace Danforth, just as it appeared on the birth certificate. Juliana had chosen the first name. The middle name had been Tony’s idea. He never told anyone why. They never asked. Juliana would not attend the services for Tony. She did not know the family. She suspected they didn’t know about her or Miguel. Tony had a way of skipping over things unless he got caught and had to confess.
Juliana got up from her seat. She looked back at the rainbow colors on the altar. She left the building.
As she got into her car, she whispered another prayer for Tony and his family. That includes Miguel and me, she thought. Thank you, God, that Miguel got to meet his father.
Chapter 29
The cemetery, where they would have Tony’s service, was on top of a hill overlooking the town of Springfield. Off in the distance were dairy farms and other farms where thoroughbred horses were raised. Beyond the farms, a long ridge of the Appalachians soared skyward. Folks around here referred to this stretch of country as Almost Heaven. Townspeople were certain that their valley was the most idyllic location in the state.
A gentle breeze blew across the hill. The sunshine was brilliant, the sky crystal blue, just as it was on the day of the accident. It was a perfect day, if there could be one, for a burial service. The canvas material of the canopy, which had been set up at the gravesite, made soft snapping noises as it ruffled in the breeze. The family would sit under the canopy, in folding chairs, during the service. Friends and other acquaintances would stand at the edges.
Fiona Wilson had decided against a service in the chapel of Tuttle’s funeral home. She had also decided not to have a visitation. Tony’s ex-girlfriend, Sarah, could not be there. She was in drug rehab. Fiona hoped that nobody in Sarah’s family would show up. If they did, they would probably make the usual sarcastic remarks about Fiona keeping Liza. There might even be some arguments. Fiona did not want any scenes from anybody. A single service at the cemetery would be sufficient.
Shortly before the service, family and friends had formed a procession of vehicles at the funeral home. The hearse carrying Tony’s casket led the way. Immediately behind the hearse, a limousine carried Tony’s mother and his daughter Liza. After that, were the personal vehicles of other relatives, friends, and guests. Not knowing exactly where he belonged in the procession, Wally instructed Norman to follow all the other cars.
Norman did not try to change Wally’s mind about that, but he did voice his opinion on the matter. “You’ve done every bit as much for Tony as his mother. Don’t shortchange yourself. You belong here and you deserve a special place.”
Wally was silent.
When the procession arrived at Hope Memorial Gardens, the pall bearers, most of them Tony’s buddies from Brockton, carried the casket to the grave site. Clark Hickman was the only pallbearer who was not from Brockton. He lived in Poplar Hill, just up the street from Wally. Clark had been Tony’s close friend since childhood, but Tony had never told Wally much about him.
Wally suspected there had been an involvement between Tony and Clark. Now, he would never know.
Tony’s mother and the others walked from the parking circle to the gravesite. Now and then, someone would sniffle, but the procession of mourners was mostly quiet. The family was seated. The funeral director was talking to Tony’s mother. Liza was waving at everybody. Wally and Norman didn’t look for a seat. They stood at the edge of the canopy.
The funeral director approached Wally. “I have something to ask you. Mrs. Wilson says she has changed her mind about several things. She is requesting that you sit beside her during the service. She told me that you have earned that place.”
Wally had trouble believing what he heard. He looked at Norman. “Do you mind?”
“Do whatever you need to do,” came Norman’s reply.
Wally threw aside his doubts and walked over to Fiona Wilson. Looking at her, it was easy to tell which side of the family Tony favored.
Fiona took Wally’s hand in hers, looked up at him, and spoke softly, “I have been thinking. We both love Tony. He loved both of us in his own special way. Now is not the time for us to let our differences get in the way. Tony has been telling me nice things about you all summer. You seem to be a fine person. Please sit beside me. You deserve the seat as much as anybody here, maybe more.”
Mrs. Wilson went on, “In case you’re wondering, Tony’s stepfather could not be with us today. He has a heart condition and is having some problems.” Fiona Wilson paused and reflected, hoping to cover everything necessary in their brief conversation. A little girl fidgeted in the chair beside her. Fiona turned and spoke to Wally, “Oh, have you met Tony’s daughter, Liza? She’s Grandma’s pride and joy. So much like her daddy when he was younger.”
Turning to Liza, she said, “Say hello to your daddy’s friend.”
Liza stood in front of Wally, curiosity all over her face. She tugged on Wally’s suit coat. He looked at her and smiled. He asked playfully, “ Hey, sugar dumpling, what’cha want?”
She looked up at Wally. “You love my daddy?”
“Oh, yes, honey. I never loved anybody so much in my life.”
Wally sat in the chair on Fiona Wilson’s left. Liza sat on the other side of her grandmother. Then she changed her mind. She walked over to Wally, and climbed upon his lap.
“Liza, doll, don’t bother Mr. Jackson. There’s room to sit beside him, if you like. You’ll wrinkle his slacks.”
“It’s all right, Mrs. Wilson. I would be honored to hold Tony’s daughter.”
Wally had been pondering something he considered very important. He might not have another chance. He cleared his throat. Turning to Tony’s mother, he said, “I was going to give these to the funeral director to give to you. But, since you invited me to sit here, I will give them to you myself.”
Fiona turned to Wally. A curious look was on her face. “Is it something of Tony’s?” she asked.
“Yes.” replied Wally. Then, he spoke softly to the little girl on his lap. “Liza, honey, hop down a minute. Uncle Wally has to show some pictures to your grandma.”
Fiona smiled. She looked at Liza. “Hmm. Uncle Wally. I like the sound of that.” Turning to Wally, she went on, “Why don’t you let her call you that from now on? I mean you are becoming very special to us. You must have a proper title.” She smiled. Her eyes glistened with tears beginning to form. Taking a tissue from a small box beside her, she touched it gently to her cheek to catch a stray tear, then to the end of her nose to take care of a sniffle.
Wally produced an envelope from the inside pocket of his suit coat. He looked at Fiona.
He thought, I hope she is pleased with these. Is it the right time? Wally cleared his throat again. Mustering up some courage, he said, “This envelope was in the mail this morning. Juliana just mailed it to me day before yesterday. On the night before Tony was in the accident, he called me and said he would have her send me some pictures of the child.”
“Child? Did you say child? And, who is Juliana?”
Wally handed the envelope to Fiona Wilson. “Tony told me that he had a son by a former girlfriend, named Juliana, down in North Carolina. He was so happy. It was late when we talked. He wasn’t going to see the child until the next morning. Tony was usually kind of cool about stuff like this, but I could detect more than a little bit of excitement in his voice.”
Fiona pulled three pictures out of the envelope.
“Oh,” said Wally. “I forgot to tell you. The little boy’s name is Miguel.”
Fiona wiped a few tears from her cheek. She looked at the first picture, “Oh my, the child is so precious. And, Tony looks like the happiest man on Earth.” Holding the picture up for Wally to look, she went on, “Have you noticed how much Miguel looks like his daddy? Oh, this is the nicest gift anyone ever gave me.” She grabbed another tissue and began to wipe her eyes.
Wally spoke, “The pictures are yours to keep. But I am wondering if you would get me a copy of the picture of Tony holding Miguel up in the air. He looks so content, like he has just found a chest filled with gold and jewels. That’s the way I want to remember him.”
Liza looked at Fiona and Wally. Her face shone with curiosity. Wally placed her back upon his lap. “Oh, one more thing. Juliana’s return address is on the envelope. I hope you will contact her someday.”
“Oh, yes. In proper time, of course.” Fiona wiped some more tears from her cheek. “This is the most unusual day. I am burying my son. I have found that he left me a treasure. You have made me so happy. It’s no wonder Tony loved you.”
The minister stood up. Everyone became silent. There was nothing unusual about the service until the end. After all the traditional prayers and readings, the minister said, “Tony’s buddies informed me of something he talked about a great deal. He had seen a television movie with a scene about a young man’s funeral. Tony was deeply moved by something they did. This is the reason for the tank of helium and the balloons just outside the canopy. When a balloon is filled, it will represent the spirit of Tony Danforth, yearning to soar into the heavens, accepting the reality that he can no longer be a part of us. The ribbon attached to the balloon will represent our attachment to Tony, our unwillingness to let him go. Please take a balloon if you desire. Don’t release it immediately. Take some time to ponder your connection with Tony. Take time to realize that his spirit is still very much alive. He will be in another place that God has provided. When you are ready, say some prayers for yourself and for Tony. Then, release the balloon and watch it climb into the sky. Remember, we no longer have any influence over Tony. He is a free spirit, a soul redeemed by the blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Have nothing but precious memories about Tony. Let everything else go.”
Chapter 30
Wally and Norman walked across the grass to Norman’s car which was parked in a cul-de-sac formed by one of the cemetery roads. Wally tried to make some jokes to lighten things up a bit. He couldn’t pull it off. Inside, he felt a strong urge to sob. He couldn’t do that, either.
His throat ached with disappointment about all the plans and promises of Tony Danforth. Let’s see, thought Wally. Plans. Tony couldn’t stick with a plan long enough to make it happen. He changed them so often, he all but lost me. And promises. He broke every promise he ever made to me. I got so I let them go right through my head, in one ear and out the other. No use listening to something that’s not gonna happen anyway.
Just look at this orange helium balloon, blessed by the reverend himself. It’s supposed to be symbolic of Tony’s spirit striving to free the bonds of Earth. Why does it have to be orange? That’s the color of a jail uniform. I guess maybe there’s not a color to describe Tony. His motives became so transparent. I should have seen it long ago, but I was too busy being in love. How unrealistic I was. I looked upon him as a knight in shining armor, come to rescue me. Oh, yeah. From what? He couldn’t save me from a water balloon or an attack of feathers. I spent so much of myself and my pocketbook pursuing Tony Danforth. I have nothing left.
Oh, but yes I do--I loved him. He didn’t deserve it, but I did it anyway. I loved Tony Danforth. Some folks think love should be noble and lofty, something to put stars in a crown or ribbons on a badge. What I have is a memory of the day Tony told me I was at the top of his list, the point in time when he said he could not go on without me. I loved him enough to stand behind his dream, to cheer him on a race he couldn’t win. When he figured he would never reach the finish line, and all the pieces of his life came shattering down around him, I forgave him for the mess. I couldn’t fix it for Tony. Nobody could. In the end, he became unlovable. But, God knows that I loved him in spite of that. Just maybe, God put Tony Danforth in my path because it was my job to love Tony. Somebody had to do it. God looks after his children. His ways are mysterious.
**********
Norman put his arm around Wally. He playfully tapped him on the side of the face. “Wake up, Wally, old boy! Wake up! You’re walking beside me, but you don’t know where you are.” Norman persisted until Wally snapped out of his deep thoughts.
Wally responded, half in a daze. “Oh, I am sorry Norman. I was thinking about some stuff. You know, about me and Tony.”
“Pull yourself back to the real world, Wally. Tony won’t be here to help you with your grief. I will. So will Mileah and Dorinda. Let us help you.”
Then, Norman turned to face Wally. “Hey, Wally, look here!”
As Wally looked, Norman blew him a kiss. They both smiled.
Wally thought, Oh, God! I would die for a real kiss from him.
Norman thought, Gracious God in Heaven, how I wish I had the nerve.
A stiff breeze blew across the hilltop as Wally and Norman walked. The balloon tugged at Wally, as if saying, Let me go! Let me go! Just who is that walking with you? Let me go!
Wally wanted to let the balloon loose in Poplar Hill, if he could get the unruly thing to the car. The balloon was behaving just like Tony–always wanting to do things in a different way–his way.
Wally opened the door of Norman’s car. He was still trying to manage the balloon, when he noticed, too late, that the cord had been tied with a bow and could easily snag on something. Oh well, thought Wally, they always tie the end of the balloon in a knot. I’ll just have a balloon without a cord, that is if I can keep it from getting away from me.
Wally barely had time to say, “Uh, oh,” as the cord came loose. Too late, Wally discovered that the base of the balloon had not been tied properly. It came loose, also. Tony’s spirit squirted out, making a sound like pfffffffsst as the balloon danced wildly inside the car. Whatever tears almost ran down Wally’s cheek were flung into space as he began to snort, then chuckle, then cackle.
Norman howled. Between hoots he said, “You should have breathed in some of that helium stuff, so you could talk like a duck. Quack! . . . Quack!”
Wally chuckled again. “Do you realize that Tony’s spirit is in the car with us? He’s gonna stay here till we open the doors or roll down the window.”
“Let him stay!” squealed Norman. “He can listen to all our conversations, and we’ll let him out when we get to Poplar Hill.
Chapter 31
It was nearly dark when Norman guided the car into a guest parking space at the apartment complex where Wally lived. The conversation between Wally and him had slowed. Silence had been building as they got closer home. It wasn’t that either had become antisocial, or that one person was upset with the other. On the contrary, Norman had listened judiciously as Wally aired more of his feelings about Tony’s untimely death and the impact it would have on his life. Wally was relu
ctant, however, to speak of other feelings that were coming into his mind.
My God, thought Wally, I’ve spent so much time with Norman that I’m almost forgetting there ever was a Tony. Norman has been so good to me. Am I developing an affection for him, and so soon after Tony’s death? I need to stop all the fantasizing, or Norman will figure me out, for sure. He is not gay. I’ll lose him.
Norman broke the silence, “I guess this is the place where we let Tony’s spirit out of the car.”
“I guess so,” chimed Wally. “I wonder where he’s going. It will have to be some place where there’s money. No! I shouldn’t say that. Tony, can you forgive me? I still love you, and I miss you. That’s why I’m such a mess.”
Turning to Norman, Wally said, “Thank you, Norman. I don’t think I could have made this trip without you. It was rough enough just being at the service. Thank God I didn’t have to drive. I would invite you in, but I know you need to get home, and I have to go to church in the morning.”
“Oh, but I want to come in, if that’s OK. I’m still afraid that you might suddenly get in the grips of what has happened and lose control. I want to be there if you need me.”
“You’re so thoughtful, and you’re probably right. I don’t know how I’ll take it, when it all sinks in.”
Norman appeared to be deep in thought. Then he blurted out. “That does it. I’m going to spend the night. Is that all right? I mean, I was prepared for this. I have a change of clothes in a duffel bag in the trunk, even my shaving stuff, . . . only I forgot my toothbrush.”
Prickly pins of delight scampered up Wally’s back. A smile lit his face. Had he heard what he thought he heard? Was Norman going to spend the night? Here? Yes, and he must have planned it before they ever left to go to Tony’s service. His eyes sparkled. How convenient!
Once inside the apartment, the two raided the fridge and snacked on ham sandwiches, potato chips, and pop. When Norman’s appetite was satisfied, he stretched his arms above his head and yawned. “I am absolutely dogged out. I am ready to hit the sack.” He pondered a moment, then popped a question, “Do you mind if I take a shower? It’s been a long day.”
Unexpected Angel Page 14
