Casey listened with awe and understood her friend’s terror as the tale ended. She could relate to everything she heard; her own horror was no less than Moon Glow’s. Then Blake told them about the raid on their neighbors by the Spaniards. This time she was on the other end of a scowl and she knew that Blake was recalling her involvement. Blue Thunder said he was not surprised, but was pleased his friend Fire Arrow and his people weren’t hurt or captured.
The men saw it necessary to excuse themselves, leaving her and Moon Glow to do what women do best, which Blake claimed was to gossip. And that’s exactly what they did, they chattered away. Moon Glow did her chores as they talked into the day, but Casey’s mind continued to drift to Blake. She was worried about her predicament and was unsure of what to do. She had missed her monthly flow the past two months and soon she would show, unable to hide her secret any longer. Loving Blake was not enough, but he had yet to tell her his true feelings.
Not wanting him to feel obligated to marry her because she was carrying his child, her head was reeling with indecision. Oh, he lusted for her and cared but what would he think if he knew she was with child? Was he the kind to settle down? He had been a drifter for so long; would he change his life style to raise a family? She knew so much about his body, but not a thing about his mind.
Moon Glow heard her sigh heavily. “What troubles you, my friend?”
Casey shrugged, “It’s nothing.” But she couldn’t hide the falsehood that crept into her voice. Moon Glow must have heard it and raised her brows in question.
“If you need to talk, I’m here for you, day and night, but I’ll not pry. She giggled, “But, my woman’s intuition tells me that your problem has a name. Blake.” She touched her shoulder and they exchanged knowing smiles and Moon Glow left her to her private thoughts.
Casey bit her bottom lip and scolded herself.
Why didn’t you say something, you mutton head?
TWENTY-NINE
Casey sat on a boulder watching the deep blue canopy turn into flaming orange as the sun set. Silver birds dotted the horizon and the weather was warming as spring promised to show its full face any day. The earth was happy, times were peaceful and she wished her spirits were in tune with nature. Sighing, she placed her hand over her rumbling tummy. Her stomach protested its emptiness; solid foods refused to stay down these past few days. She had found peace living with the Indians, but her contentment was not complete. Still, she fretted as to what to do about the tiny soul growing in her belly.
Blake had been gone for a week now. He insisted on riding to the nearest trading post by himself to wire his parents that he had fulfilled his debt and had been living with his friends, the White Mountain Apaches. She would have liked to have gone but he refused her company, claiming he’d get there faster alone. Casey had snorted unladylike recalling how he patted her cheek and kissed the top of her head, as if she were a mere child. She could ride as good as any man, which she would have been happy to prove. She didn’t argue because of her condition, but any other time she wouldn’t have stood still for such treatment.
Before Blake journeyed to the post, the Apaches left the mountains, where their camp had been located for warmth of the sunrays. They had burned their wickiups and she noticed many of the women appeared sad. For the summer months, they had set up camp near the water among stunted trees to shelter them from the scorching sun. She and the clan had subsisted on berries, nuts, the fruit of various trees, mesquite beans and acorns, of which she was fond of.
“May I join you?” Star Gazer’s sober voice drifted over her shoulder and Casey jumped out of her daydreams. She nodded without looking up at her friend.
“I have been watching you. Something lies heavy in your heart, Little One.” She knew it was a statement not a question. He watched her face to find truth in his remark, but she schooled her features to remain passive. She was happy Star Gazer still called her his friend and that he admitted his love for her changed since his fight with Blake. He also had to admit he was taken in by her pale beauty and he thought she would have filled the hole in his heart, the part of him that still longed for his dead love, Weeping Bird.
Casey didn’t answer the young brave, but continued to gaze into the sky. If she couldn’t tell her friend, Moon Glow, about the baby, she certainly couldn’t confide in Star Gazer, a male.
“Little One, you know Star Gazer is friend. You are like sister to me.” He pointed to his broad chest. “The gods have opened my eyes to truth. You can tell me what troubles your heart.”
She turned. He was so handsome and wondered why he didn’t have a mate. She decided to change the subject to him. “Tell me, Star Gazer, why aren’t you married? You’re very handsome and strong. If it weren’t for my love for Blake, I might have…”
She mashed her lips together knowing where her thoughts were leading and what she had almost said. Lowering her eyes, she had to admit she did love him very much, as much as anyone could love a friend.
Taking her hand, he said, “I had a great love for only a short time. Weeping Bird was a great warrior, even though a maiden, she was greater than some braves. She was almost as tall as this Apache,” he pointed to his chest “and sometimes she even out ran me.” The brave stood and picked up a pebble, skipping it across the small watering hole. “I wish I could toss sadness away as easily as stone. I never talked about Weeping Bird to anyone, but maybe talking about her might lesson pain.”
He sighed sadly. “She always insisted on playing games with young men of the tribe. My brother, Blue Thunder made sure she was included. All the braves balked at her playing.” He knitted his thick black brows and grunted. “Braves were jealous because she could out run and shoot an arrow better than most and was very brave. She hunted and went on small raids with us many times. We were out scouting for those white eyes who had murdered many children, men and woman in a neighboring village,” his voice filled with remorse.
“Yes, I know the story, go on,” she insisted.
“I did not want her to go. She demanded, claiming she could not live if I were killed.”
Star Gazer dropped her hand and sighed painfully. Shaking his head sadly, he continued. “She was shot by a soldier with a bullet meant for me.” He sat once again on the bolder beside her.
“Oh, no,” Casey sobbed, trying to hold back tears, but they escaped anyway. She then squeezed the Indian’s hand affectionately. “How awful for you,” she said seeing pain harden his handsome features; love coupled with sadness skated through his eyes. She knew the agony of losing a loved one. All of her own emotions spilled out and she couldn’t stop herself from throwing her arms around his neck, giving him an understanding and comforting hug.
***
Blake was tired, hungry and in a foul mood by the time he returned to the village. He had spent most of his days and nights riding hard, wanting to return as quickly as possible. He missed Casey the moment he rode away four days ago. Spending only a half a day at the trading post to rest, he bathed in the nearby stream and waited for the answer to his telegram; the reply he received was not what was expected. His father had died last month and his mother, all alone, was ailing; he had no choice but to return home as soon as possible.
He dismounted from a very sweaty horse that was just as weary as the rider. Checkers was a good friend, never letting his master down, but he snorted a complaint in protest of the long and hard ride. Asking for forgiveness, he patted the palomino’s nose. Checkers whinnied, shaking his head, not ready to forgive. But then Blake asked a young Indian boy to give his steed a good rubdown and some nourishment. The animal nudged his master playfully and he knew he was forgiven.
Blue Thunder sat outside of his wickiup stringing a bow. He nodded at Blake as he approached. “Hon Dah, how was trip?”
He removed his damp hat and wiped the sweat from his brow with a soiled bandanna. “Got bad news about my father, he’s dead.”
The big brave shook his head sadly. “My heart saddened for fr
iend. You will be leaving us?”
It was definitely a question and Blake nodded and popped his hat back on his head. He needed a bath, he thought, as his eyes searched the camp for Casey. Not seeing her around, he figured she was inside their dwelling. Wanting to clean up before searching her out, he turned and went to look for her. Still not in the best of moods, he hurried with thoughts of a refreshing swim and Casey’s waiting arms.
But, when Blake came upon Casey, her arms were around someone else. Seeing the cozy couple embracing, he faltered, shocked at the unbelievable sight and his body filled with raging anger. There was no mistaking that golden head and his friend, Star Gazer.
“So this is what goes on behind my back! That Indian didn’t learn his lesson from the last fight.” Blake spat his words into the dirt, angered beyond reasoning. Did Casey play him for a fool? Was she still bitter about my taking her brother to the fort for trial?
Now that was a stupid notion! Scoffed that little voice in his head. Of course it was. He knew it was. But the green-eyed monster left him without any rational senses he clenched his fists itching to hit something. His insides churned like a power keg with a short fuse. He was ready to explode, not caring to hear any explanations. What was there to explain, he saw it all with his own eyes.
He hissed behind the unsuspecting pair. “So, I see I wasn’t missed! Didn’t expect me back so soon?!” he ranted, uncaring that he was being unreasonable.
“Blake?” Casey separated from Star Gazer and leapt to her feet. Blake was back and she was elated and so excited she didn’t hear the sarcasm in his voice. She stepped forward, arms outstretched, but paled on seeing heated sparks fly from his eyes. His face twisting in anger didn’t make any sense. Confused, she lowered her arms. Without an inkling of warning, she gasped when Blake grabbed her Indian friend and knocked him off his feet.
“Blake?!” she shrieked. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Good golly! His odd behavior frightened her so that her knees knocked together making her whole body tremble. Twisting her hands, she swallowed nervously waiting for him to explain himself for acting so strange. Strange? No, a horse’s behind was more fitting. Her eyes searched his icy stare for some understanding to this ridiculous conduct, but none came. He turned on his heel and left without a word. She started to run after Blake, but thought better of it. She was becoming angry herself, but still didn’t know what to make of the situation. How dare he?! She went to Star Gazer, who was pushing himself up from the ground. He shook his head in total bewilderment. His lip was bleeding and she touched his tender mouth with her finger. Tears fell freely, confusion filled her mind. She winced, feeling his pain, seeing his lip begin to swell.
“I’m sorry, Star Gazer. I don’t know what got into him.”
Star Gazer spat out a stream of red liquid. “Your Blake has short temper and his head is full of rocks.” The brave ran his fingers over his teeth to assure himself that they weren’t loose, and grunted. “He no deserves you. He believes we are lovers when seeing us embrace.”
Casey screwed up her face. “Why that son-of-a-bitch! What nerve!” Her chest heaved, now she was incensed. “He cares so little for me, he can’t trust me. Well, I’ll be damned if I tell him the truth. Let that mule-headed cowboy think the worst, I’ll not marry him no matter what!” she snapped, placing her hands on her hips and stamping her foot in the dirt. “Baby or no bab...” Quickly her knuckles went into her mouth to stop her slip of her tongue. Too late she realized what her unchecked mouth had said.
Star Gazer looked seriously at her. “So that makes you walk around with thoughts far away.”
“Oh, Star Gazer,” she placed her hand on his arm and begged, “Please, you must give me your word you won’t say anything.” Her lower lip trembled and her stomach knotted.
The concerned brave sat her down onto the boulder. He sighed, “You must tell Blake truth. It no good to say nothing, he father of child.”
“No!” she yelled, a little too harshly. Then she placed her hand over her stomach as if she could protect it from all worldly harm. “I won’t tell him, especially now. I don’t want a husband who has so little faith and trust in me. Oh… that insufferable beast!” she hissed.
“I feel you are wrong, but not my right to interfere. I gave my word to keep secret,” he promised her and walked her back to camp. She knew Blake wouldn’t be in the wickiup when she entered. Blue Thunder told her that he had galloped out on Checkers, as if the evil spirit was after him. She was glad because she would have ordered him to leave anyway, not wanting to confront him when he returned. Sadly, she asked Laughing Trees if she could sleep in her hut that night. Surely he’d return with more heated words and wrong conclusions.
What a mutton head! Casey grumbled inwardly.
“Is white girl all right?” asked Laughing Tree. “You mumbled something about Blake. He nincompoop. What is strange word?”
“He’s a jerk! An ass! A fool! A real dope! Oh and a few other words I cannot say.”
Laughing Tree tried to hide a smile, but she didn’t pry further, although she did mutter, “Lovers,” as she walked away.
Casey piled up a few furs and sat in the corner to dwell on her self-pity. She was so irked she wanted to clobber that idiot! What nerve! Well she’ll show him!
How? Needled her smart side. Oh, Phooey! She’d think of something.
She fell asleep with a pout on her lips and Blake on her mind.
Blake flew into the night in a neck-breaking run. He shouldn’t have taken Checkers out so soon, but he had to get away. His head ached and his spine complained every time his rump hit the saddle. He was as miserable now as he had been in the days spent looking for Casey, when he fretted that he had lost her. Once again he feared he had.
Checkers ran full speed for a while then laboring, slowed his pace. He was being unfair to the animal and brought him to a slow trot. “Sorry boy,” he patted the horse’s neck. “I’ve been pretty hard on you lately.” The steed seemed to have snorted in agreement, causing Blake to bark, “Women! Stay away from them, fella, they only cause you pain and trouble.”
Checker’s ears perked up never having heard his master so upset.
It was late by the time Blake returned. He dismounted and walked his horse back to camp, needing to exercise his stiff legs. The village was asleep with the exception of a few guards. Promising him a good rest, he rubbed down Checkers. For the second time that day, Blake headed for the pond.
The desert can get quite chilly at night and the water was cold, but did little to cool his temper. Lying on the bank to dry his skin in the balmy breeze, his head told him to go back and talk to Casey, but his heart was afraid to hear what she might tell him. She wanted the Indian. He slept another night under the moon and stars and rose before the camp stirred. Feeling foolish now for his actions, he decided to go back and ask Casey for an explanation. He must be fair and give her the chance. If she wanted the brave, he would stand aside.
Like hell you will!
He wouldn’t give her up easily and this time the fight would be to the finish. His heart was sad for the way things turned out. He loved Star Gazer like a brother and he was right to warn Checkers that women were nothing but trouble. But then trouble was his middle name.
Blake entered the dwelling but it was empty. His heart sank and he turned on his heels and stormed from the shelter, silently admitting how much he loved her. No explanations were needed, if she wasn’t there, she was with her lover. His foolish heart splintered into a millions of pieces. Life had ended.
Calm down you fool.
Why did she turn his reasoning to mush? He had been so sure she had felt the same for him. No one could fake such emotions, her eyes shone when they had made love. He wouldn’t believe she loved another until she told him to his face. Without thinking, he barged into Star Gazer’s wickiup. This was something an Indian would never do, enter into someone’s home uninvited.
The noisy entrance by someone roused Star Gazer abruptl
y, not giving him a chance to fathom that his domain had been disturbed rudely. His irate friend pulled him quickly to his feet. “Where is she?” Blake demanded.
Still groggy, he let himself be pulled off his mat but now, coming fully awake, he shook the angry man’s hands off of him. “You not welcome in my lodging. You dishonor yourself and insult me. Go! You are making a fool of yourself. Come back when you can control your emotions and you know I am right.”
Blake ran his hands through his unkempt hair and Star Gazer sensed his apprehension and confusion. His friend was so in love and he hated to see them lose something special. He had promised not to tell Casey’s secret, Indians never interfered when asked not too, but Blake had saved his life. It was his turn to repay the dept and he touched Blake’s shoulder.
“Your eyes saw only what your head wanted to see. You must look with heart. We are good friends; Casey was sharing a moment of sadness with me. Nothing more. Go to her, she is in Laughing Tree’s dwelling.”
“Damn, I’ve caused her nothing but pain,” Blake chided himself and Star Gazer would have agreed but he remained quiet. His friend continued his self-loathing, “If it were possible to kick myself in the ass, I would. God, I’ll never forgive myself if I’ve lost her due to my own stupidity.”
“We all make mistakes. Her love is true; now go eat, as Moon Glow would say, humble pie.” He slapped the foolish man on the back unable to control his hearty laugh.
Love by Dawn Page 18
