"I do not need a place to live. I am not without funds, and I have a small property I may reside upon."
"Nor do I ask ye to return with me out of some misguided sense of duty."
She softly cursed, but did not resist him as he gently pushed her down onto the bed, neatly tugging her around until she was sprawled beneath him. He too quickly guessed her every doubt and concern, yet somehow managed not to tell her what she wished, and needed, to hear. The feel of his long body on top of hers, however, was making it difficult to think. It had been too long since she had tasted the passion they could share. It was easy to let wanting push aside all interest in talk.
"I will not become your mistress,” she said even as she tilted her head back so that he could more easily cover her throat with warm, tantalizing kisses.
"I wasnae asking it of ye."
Before she could muster the wit to ask him just what he did intend, he kissed her. The hunger in his kiss brought her own rushing to the fore, unwilling to be ignored or brushed aside. She wrapped her arms around him and fully returned his kiss. Gisele knew she was giving him a silent but clear agreement to set aside all talk for a little while, to once again revel in the heat of their passion, but decided that it did not matter. As she had ridden away from Donncoill one sharp regret she had suffered from was that she had not made love with Nigel one last time. If she still had to walk away from him at the end of this day, at least she would not suffer from that regret.
They had been apart for too long for the reunion of their bodies to be a lingering pleasure or a gentle one. Gisele tugged off his clothes as swiftly as he tugged off hers. They both shuddered when their bodies finally touched flesh to flesh. She found that she could not get enough of the feel or the taste of him, touching and kissing every inch of his strong body. Nigel returned her every kiss and caress with the same fevered urgency until they both shook from the strength of their need for each other.
She cried out with eager welcome when Nigel finally joined their bodies. Wrapping her limbs around him, she greedily met every thrust of his body. The way their voices blended as they found release as one only enhanced the pleasure rushing through her body. Gisele held him close as he collapsed in her arms, and fought to cling to the mind-clouding delight they had just enjoyed. She did not want to think, but as her breathing slowed and her heartbeat returned to its normal pace, she knew she could not lie there drunk with passion and just ignore the world.
Nigel reluctantly eased the intimacy of their embrace. He glanced at Gisele's small hand as she moved it absently over his chest, then looked at her face. Her gaze was fixed with stubborn firmness on the movement of her hand. Although it was tempting to just make love until they both fell into an exhausted sleep, he knew that now was not the time for that. Neither of them might wish to talk, but they had to. He gently grasped her chin in his hand and turned her face up to his. It was another moment longer before she allowed her gaze to meet his.
"Mayhap I have wooed ye too gently,” he said, “and that has led to naught but confusion."
She inwardly tensed, wary of what he might say, but calmly replied, “You showed a true skill for the art of wooing."
"Thank ye, but I clearly wasnae skilled enough to make ye stay with me, was I?"
"I was going to France to clear my name, no more. As I have said, it came to me that I was asking others to face a danger I myself was too cowardly to face."
"And ye are certain ye werenae running from what my wooing would lead to?"
"I was not sure where that might end,” she said quietly, briefly looking away from his intent gaze. He did not need to know all of the doubts she had suffered from.
"Where all wooing is meant to end—with marriage. Ye left ere I could ask ye to be my wife."
Her heart skipped so hard it was almost painful, but she found herself not to let false hope and the lingering sweet memory of the passion they had just shared cloud her wits. “Why?"
"Why?” He frowned at her in confusion. “Why what?"
"Why were you going to ask me to be your wife?"
"Lass, ye are supposed to say ‘aye’ or ‘nay,’ not ‘why'."
"I need to know why before I can say ‘aye’ or ‘nay'. Nigel, until you got the word from France that I was innocent, you still thought me capable of butchering a man."
"Nay.” He grimaced when she eyed him with a hint of suspicion. “Do ye recall the time I was teaching you how to use a sword, that first time that ye disarmed me and I said that was when ye must strike the death blow?” Gisele slowly nodded. “The way ye looked was enough to tell me that ye hadnae killed your husband. Aye, if ye were in a fight for your life or in a fight for mine, ye could kill, as ye showed me the day I was wounded. But, nay, not coldly and brutally as was done to your husband."
"You might have told me when you had this revelation."
"I am sorry, lass. I meant to, but there were a few other things I needed to think on at the time."
Gisele smiled and lightly caressed his cheek. “I know. Soothing my hurt feelings was of small importance, and I realize I should have been satisfied that you thought me worthy of your protection and help.” She cocked one eyebrow and drawled, “And you have still not answered my question."
"What we have just shared wasnae answer enough?” When she just frowned, he added, “I asked your family for their blessing, and they have given it. Ye must ken by now that my family would eagerly welcome ye into the clan."
Nigel was not sure why he was so reluctant to say the words he knew she wanted to hear. He was, he realized, a complete coward. After the hurt he had inflicted upon her by not telling her all about Maldie, he knew he owed Gisele the full truth now. No one deserved the baring of his soul more than Gisele did, but he could not seem to force the words past his lips. He needed some hint from her that his words of love would be welcomed and returned.
Gisele wondered if shaking Nigel vigorously would make the words she sought fall out of his mouth. She was beginning to think that he loved her, or was very close to doing so. His almost embarrassed reluctance to speak of anything but family approval and passion was her strongest hint. Nigel had a true skill with words, could easily convince her that she would be a fool to refuse his proposal, yet never speak of love. He seemed unable to muster that skill at the moment.
That left her with two choices. She could either accept his proposal, allow him to think that talk of passion and family approval was enough for her, or she could hold out until he was forced to say more. She did not have the patience for the latter and the first, she mused, could easily lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. There was one way to pull the words from him, and that was to make the confession first. It was a gamble. She could be wrong in thinking that his feelings for her were deeper than passion, and it would hurt to speak of love and get no vow in return. Gisele inwardly shrugged. The rest of her life was at stake. It was worth the risk.
"Nigel, I am honored that you would ask me to be your wife. It is certainly pleasing to know that my family as well as your own will approve of the match. I do not believe I need to say that I enjoy the passion we share, and would be more than willing to continue indulging in that pleasure. But, I fear all of that is not enough."
"I no longer love Maldie. Ye ken that, dinnae ye?"
"I saw that within days after arriving at Donncoill, and it would certainly make a marriage between us go along much more smoothly,” she drawled and smiled faintly, then touched her fingers to his lips when he began to speak. “I must finish this ere I lose the courage to do so. I need more than what you have talked of. I need your heart, Nigel, for you hold mine."
She watched him carefully, almost afraid to breathe. He looked stunned, but she was not sure if that were a good or a bad thing. When he pulled her into his arms and held her almost too tightly she began to feel a little more secure. There was certainly a lot of emotion revealed in his touch.
"When did ye decide that ye loved me?” he demanded, starting
to trace her face with small kisses.
Gisele had to smile. His reaction was all she could have hoped for, except that he still refused to say what she needed to hear. Forcing herself to be patient, she threaded her fingers through his hair and briefly touched a kiss to his mouth.
"I think it may have been when you were wounded. I feel as if it has been there for a long time. Recall that time I ran away and was captured by Vachel?” He nodded. “I ran away from you, from what I suddenly realized I felt for you. There was enough trouble on my plate. I foolishly thought that I could run from that new one, that I could run from what was in my heart."
"Nay, ‘tis hard to do. One cannae deceive it, either. It kens the truth no matter what your poor fevered brain thinks. I thought myself in love with Maldie for so long that I mistrusted every feeling I had for you."
Gisele forced herself not to tense with the anticipation she felt. She also swallowed the urge to just demand that he tell her what he felt. He needed a little more time. She did decide, however, that she would not give him too much more. The way he said so much but never enough could easily drive her mad.
"I understand that, Nigel. I was hurt, but I did come to realize that you truly meant me no harm. You were but confused. Maldie was a dream you had clung to for seven long years. Such dreams are hard to discard."
"More a nightmare at times. No one likes to believe he has given his heart away uselessly. I should have said something to you, though. That was wrong. Mayhap if I had confessed to my confusion it could have been unraveled sooner. I knew the moment I looked at Maldie that she was no longer the woman who held my heart in her small hands. More important, I kenned that I wasnae trying to hold onto her ghost, either. Aye, ye look like her, but ye arenae her. Ye arenae taking her place in my heart. Ye have made your own. I was a fool nay to see that."
"I have a place in your heart, do I?” she asked softly.
"Ye fill it, lass. Ye are in every corner of it."
He laughed quietly when she hugged him tightly. It was going to be all right. They had both found what they needed. Nigel could barely believe his good fortune.
"I have been a fool and a coward, lass,” he murmured against her throat. “I am surprised that ye have had the patience to keep me in your heart."
"At times you did seem to be worth it,” she said, and laughed when he gave her a gentle nudge.
He raised himself up on his elbows and cupped her face in his hands. “Well, ye are truly stuck with me now, my bonny French rose. I love ye, and I cannae find the words to tell ye how wondrous it feels to ken that ye love me, too."
She eagerly returned his tender kiss, then held him close, moving her foot up and down his strong leg. “There are years ahead of us for you to learn the words.” She grinned when she felt him chuckle against her breast, then frowned slightly when he picked up her amulet and kissed it. “Why did you do that?"
"Well, ye said it was from your grandmother, that she said it would bring ye good fortune."
Gisele smiled and idly stroked the medallion. “And it has. I am free and, more important, I am loved."
"Oh, aye, and I think it will take me all of our lifetime to show ye just how much ye are loved. I but thanked your grandmother as I believe I, too, have benefitted from the luck in that bauble."
"Mayhap, but not as much as I have."
He lightly straddled her and slowly grinned. “Are ye meaning to argue this matter?"
"I believe I am."
"Then prepare to be argued with most vigorously, lass. If we mean to determine which of us is the most fortunate or which of us loves the other more, it could take a verra long time."
"With a lot of persuasion, I hope."
"A lot of sweet, exhausting persuasion,” he agreed as he brushed a kiss over her lips. “And I dinnae mean to stop persuading ye until we are both naught but dust."
Even as she started to return his kiss, Gisele lightly touched the medallion resting against her breasts. Thank you, Nana, she thought, then gave herself over to the passion she knew would be hers forever.
* * *
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Highland Honor [Murray Brothers Book 2] Page 30
