“Yeah, I know,” I replied, more than a little sarcastically.
“And I’m sorry, baby. I really am. I love you and I need you. Please don’t do this!”
He sounded so sincere, I almost believed him. But since I didn’t believe him, I shook my head and walked past him.
“If you go through with this, you’ll regret it, Nay,” he warned, as I unlocked the door and stepped inside the building. “I promise you will.”
*****
Mondays were my days to catch up on paperwork. There were usually no patient appointments unless it was unavoidable, and unless I had a patient in active labor, I was normally able to stay holed up in my office in relative peace. Robert’s little visit and threat had ruined that for me. I did stay in my office, but got nothing done as I sat there staring into space, remembering how happy we had been all those years ago when we first got together.
I met him at a charity function. Back then, I was active in several organizations, including the local chapter of Mahogany Sisters in Motion or MSM—an organization that, at its core, sought to uplift and empower black women. They held a fundraising gala every year to the benefit of their community outreach program, complete with silent auctions and live entertainment. That year we were able to get Charlie Wilson. I was sitting at my table, rocking in my seat, when Robert, whom I hadn’t noticed, approached me and asked me to dance with him. He was shorter than me, an odd, ruddy shade of brown, and not particularly attractive, but his suit fit him well and he had a nice smile. So I accepted. By the end of the night, he’d left his table and took a seat at mine, engaging me in conversation about his job. Robert was smart, and that attracted me to him almost as much as the fact that he wasn’t handsome. My father was a handsome man, very handsome, with charm dripping off of him. He was the reason I didn’t trust handsome men. I dated more than a few. A couple even proposed to me, but I couldn’t shake the thoughts and memories of my mother being left alone in a big house with her three daughters. The look of sadness on her face as her handsome husband, my daddy, ran around with God knows who was unforgettable. I figured an unattractive man would be a safer bet.
I was wrong.
We’d only been together two years the first time I found out he’d cheated. He apologized, begged for forgiveness, promised he’d never do it again, and I made myself believe him because I loved him. I never told anyone about that first affair he had with some woman he met online, not even my sisters. The second time he cheated, it was with one of my patients—who was only six weeks post-partum and married—that he’d met in the waiting area at Genesis one day when he came to take me to lunch. I found out about them when she made an appointment and announced the affair to me while sitting in my office. That time, I was so utterly and completely humiliated that I told my sisters and even left him, but not for long. He apologized again, of course, and said he believed he was a sex addict because he loved me and loved having sex with me. He promised it wasn’t me. It was him. He didn’t know why he kept cheating and said he needed help. So he went into counseling and we both did couples therapy. At the time, we were six years into a marriage that was already a bit crippled. We had hobbled into ten years when the baby popped up.
I don’t know who the mother is or how Robert met her. I wouldn’t listen to his reasoning or his apologies this time. I loved him. But that just wasn’t enough anymore. Loving him and having loved him for more than ten years wasn’t nearly enough to erase the feeling of complete disrespect I felt when that woman dropped her baby, my husband’s baby, off on my doorstep. Yes, I was initially confused, maybe even torn. I had always wanted a baby, had tried and tried to conceive to no avail, and maybe for a second or two, I saw that little boy as the answer to my prayers. But the more I ruminated on things, the more I realized how badly he’d betrayed me, slept with that woman without using protection, possibly exposing me to all kinds of diseases. And I also came to realize his cheating wasn’t a pattern or something he had to fight to control, it was a way of life for him. It was simply who he was—a cheater. And it was who he would always be. So I left him again.
But this time I didn’t go back.
By lunch, I was starving despite my unproductivity. So I grabbed my purse and decided to head out to eat since I’d been cooped up in my office all morning, thinking maybe I’d call and see if Angie could meet me somewhere. I thought about taking the back door out to the parking lot but quickly decided against that. With Robert’s current state of mind, I wouldn’t put it past him to be out there lurking around, and since he’d actually gotten a little violent with my sister, Nicky, in the past, I wasn’t taking any chances on getting caught out there alone with him again.
I passed the front desk, tossing a smile and a wave at Janine, our receptionist, and as I pushed the glass door open, ran right into Lorenzo Higgs.
4
I dropped my purse and keys, probably would’ve dropped my cell phone, too, had it not been tucked away in the pocket of my lab jacket.
He quickly bent his towering frame over and picked my belongings up, offering them to me with a smile. “Here you go.”
“Uh…thank you. You-you startled me.”
His smile disappeared, replaced by a slight frown. “I did? I’m sorry.” He looked down at himself and back at me, his expression a bit softer. “Am I that ugly?”
My eyes widened. “Ugly? God, no! You’re nowhere near ugly.” Geez, that was a bit much. “Uh, I’ve just had a rough morning. Kind of out of sorts. I’m actually heading out to lunch now.”
The smile returned. “Really? Can I join you? My treat.”
“Uh…” I really didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know him, and I was still married. Was I even supposed to be having lunch with another man? Then again, it wasn’t like it was a date. But still… “I don’t think so.”
The smile left again, and I instantly missed it. “Oh, okay. Well, I was actually coming here to talk to you about my sister. When would be a good time to come back?”
It was my turn to frown. “Is she okay? The baby’s all right?”
“Yeah, yeah. I just wanna make sure she has everything she needs. I worry about her, you know?”
I smiled. “Well, she’s really not my patient. Cassandra is her midwife and—”
“I know, but I’m more comfortable with you.”
His eyes were glued to mine, and he looked so good in his slacks, blazer, and dress shirt. And my husband had ruined most of my day in person and in thought. I needed…something. A distraction? I don’t know, but that unidentified need made me say, “You know what? I think I’ll take you up on your offer after all. Where do you want to have lunch?”
*****
I drove my own vehicle, opting to follow him to the restaurant rather than take him up on his offer to ride with him in a cream-colored Cadillac Escalade driven by Rell.
Once we were seated at our table in Young’s, an overly-expensive steakhouse, I asked, “Is Rell going to join us?”
“No,” Lorenzo said, looking up from the menu and meeting my eyes.
“Oh, did he leave? He’s coming back for you?”
He shook his head. “No, he’s probably on the lot in the car.”
“Oh…”
He smiled. “Are you worried about him or something?”
“No, I just think it’s odd. I mean, what does he do when you’re somewhere for hours?”
“He stays with the car unless I instruct him otherwise.”
“I see.” I refocused my attention on the menu and fell silent.
“You don’t like that he stays with the car? He’s the driver. That’s what he’s supposed to do,” he said.
Without looking up, I replied with, “It’s none of my business. I don’t know him. I don’t know you. I was just curious.”
We dropped the conversation altogether when the waiter reappeared to take our orders. After he left, I asked, “What was it you wanted to talk about? Something to do with your sister?”
He stared at me, th
en stood up. “I’ll be right back.”
“Uh, okay.”
He left, and I kind of just sat there thinking to myself that this was the strangest lunch meeting or whatever it was I’d ever attended. Somewhere between five and ten minutes later, he returned with Rell.
“Do you want him to join us, or do you think he should have his own table?”
I peered up at Rell, who looked both surprised and a little uncomfortable, and it occurred to me that maybe he liked waiting outside. Maybe he wasn’t sociable. “I-I don’t know, Mr. Higgs. Ask him.”
He sighed lightly and turned to Rell. “You wanna eat with us, man?”
Rell shook his head and looked at me, shaking it again.
“You want your own table?”
He shook his head once more, rested a meaty hand on his boss’ shoulder, and gave me a little smile and a nod before leaving the restaurant. Lorenzo reclaimed his seat and took a sip of his water.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said.
“I wasn’t going to have it said that I mistreat my employees. Rell is not the most social person. He likes being alone.”
“You could’ve just told me that, and anyway, like I said before, it’s none of my business.”
“Well, you kind of made it your business when you brought it up.”
I reclined in my chair a bit. “Mr. Higgs—”
“You can call me Lorenzo, but I’d actually prefer for you to call me Zo.”
“No.”
He leaned forward. “Why?”
“What did you want to talk to me about regarding your sister?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing,” he repeated.
“But you said—”
“I know what I said. Look, I appreciate how you took care of her and the baby, and hell, how you helped me. We were all in a panic until you got there. Your presence calmed us and got my little sister through everything better than I could’ve imagined. I wanted to thank you, but I knew you wouldn’t allow me to do it properly otherwise.”
I scoffed. “So you tricked me into going to lunch with you?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. And I’m still going to make that donation.”
I shook my head and would’ve left had the waiter not shown up right at that moment with our food. I was hungry and he was paying, so I dug in without another word.
Halfway through our meal, he broke into our mutual silence, asking, “How is it?”
I looked up at him. He had this serious look on his face that made me believe he really cared about my answer. “Delicious. How’s yours?”
“Good, but I could do better.”
“You cook?”
“Yes. You should let me cook for you sometimes.”
Wait a minute. Was he flirting with me?
I placed my fork on the edge of my plate and stared at him. “I should?” Was I flirting back? Did I even still know how to flirt?
“Yes, whenever you want.”
“A date?”
He nodded.
“Mr. Higgs, do you—”
“Think you’re attractive, want to go out with you, want to get to know you better? Absolutely, positively, hell yes.”
My mouth hung open for a moment. He was so handsome, which in the past would’ve been strikes one through three for me, but I couldn’t use looks as criteria anymore since Robert had debunked my whole ugly-men-won’t-cheat theory. And besides, I was in no emotional or matrimonial state to even be considering dating this or any other man. Hell, I was still married. And I told him so.
His face fell, and I wished I could take the words back or make them untrue. “Oh…you’re not wearing a ring. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have—”
“We’re separated, have been for a while now, so no ring.”
“Separated?” His voice perked up a bit.
“And getting divorced. But right now, we’re still married.”
“I see.” He smiled. “Then you can let me cook for you.”
“I could, but I shouldn’t, so I won’t.”
He chuckled. “Doc, you’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”
“I told you to stop calling me Doc.”
“If you want me to stop calling you that, then you’re going to have to give me something else to call you.”
“Call me Ms. Mattison, then.”
“That your married name?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not calling you that.”
“Why?”
“Because if I do, it’s only going to remind you of the fool that’s letting you get away from him, and he’s already making things hard enough for me. What’s your maiden name?”
“Strickland.”
“I’ll call you Ms. Strickland. I like the sound of that better anyway.”
I tried not to smile, but I did. “Fine.”
“But, you have to call me Zo.”
“You assume we’ll be calling each other anything after today.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “You think we won’t?”
“What if we never see each other again?”
“We will, Ms. Strickland. We definitely will.”
5
“Rell, what do you think of the nurse?”
Rell, whose wide body spilled from the driver’s seat onto the center console, just shrugged and gave me a little grunt.
I relaxed in the backseat and sighed. “She’s married.”
Rell glanced back at me with a surprised look on his face.
“But she’s getting a divorce.”
He shrugged again.
“She’s gorgeous, though, and so damn pretty. But she’s obviously got baggage.”
Nothing from Rell this time.
“But I like her, you know? She’s very intelligent. And caring. I mean, she was really concerned about you waiting in the car. And the way she was with Mel? She helped me, too, when I cut the baby’s cord. I told you that, right?”
He nodded as he pulled up to my gate, rolled the window down, and punched in the code.
“I don’t know. Maybe I should give her some time. Slow things down. I mean, I just met her. Maybe I’m moving too fast.”
Rell’s response was to park in front of my house and then slide out of his seat with a grunt. A few seconds later, he was opening the back door for me.
“Thanks, Rell,” I said, as I slowly walked up the steps and entered my house. I stood in the foyer for a moment, the silence taking my mood down a couple of notches. My mom and Mel had left and gone back to their house that morning after having spent the last couple of months of Mel’s pregnancy in my home, and I kind of missed them. The last thing I felt like doing was being in that big-ass house alone. I sighed as I headed toward my study, deciding I’d try to get some work done.
6
“So, how’s Ryan?” I asked, as I sifted through the nail polish on Nicky’s dresser. She must’ve had a hundred bottles neatly lined up next to about two hundred bottles of perfume.
“Good,” Angie said from her seat on the floor. “He’s supposed to be editing some videos.”
I glanced at her. “Supposed to be?”
She nodded. “Yeah, but I keep getting notifications that he’s posting stuff on social media. I swear he’s addicted.”
“Ryan has a huge following,” Nicky offered. “He’s got to keep his fans happy.”
“Ryan has a huge following because he’s Ryan, not because of the memes he posts,” Angie said.
“Yeah, but you have to admit, he shares some funny stuff,” Nicky said.
Angie rolled her eyes. “Your ass is just one of his groupies.”
“I sure am.”
Angie threw her nail file at Nicky who was digging through a drawer in her nightstand, presumably trying to find some CD her latest potential husband had given her.
“Why you gotta be so violent?” Nicky asked through a giggle.
“I’ma do more than throw stuff at you if you keep cr
ushing on my husband.”
“First of all, I’m not crushing on Ryan. He’s my brother-in-law, and I love him as such. But shit, I ain’t blind. Your man is fine, big sis. Exceptionally fine. Hell, I do believe he’s the finest man—”
“Speaking of fine men,” I said, interrupting Nicky before an all-out bloodbath ensued, because although Nicky’s loose behind was playing, I knew Angie would lay her out about Ryan. “I went out on a date last week.”
“Aw, shit. With Robert’s homely ass?” Angie asked, in a tone coated in disgust.
“Fuck,” Nicky mumbled.
“No! Damn, can you two give me a little credit for having an ounce of sense?”
Silence.
I sighed and reclaimed my seat on the floor with a bottle of canary yellow nail polish in my hand. “Whatever.”
“I mean, look at your track record, Nay,” Angie offered. “How can you blame us for thinking you’d go back to him?”
“We’ve been separated for over a year. I filed for divorce. I’ve changed. What he did to me changed me, and I’m not just talking about the twenty-two pounds I lost. I’m not Robert Mattison’s fool anymore. Can’t you two see that?” I tried to keep the tremor out of my voice but failed. My voice almost always revealed my true emotions, and even on those rare occasions when I was able to control my voice, my face would undoubtedly give me away.
I blinked back tears, determined not to cry this time. I was so tired of crying…
“We’re sorry, Nay. We really are,” Angie said, with Nicky quickly agreeing. “You have changed. We know that.”
I nodded. “Do y’all wanna hear about the date or what?”
“I do, and I also wanna know how I missed the fact that you met a man and we live in the same house,” Nicky said.
I stared at her. “Have you gained invisibility or something? When are you ever here, Nicky?”
She heaved a sigh. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”
“And I’m telling you now. Goodness! Anyway…” I gave them the details on Lorenzo Higgs from my first encounter with him at his home to our lunch “date.”
Believe in Me (Strickland Sisters Book 2) Page 2
