by J. A. Huss
I shake my head and laugh. "Get a grip, Lucan, you don't shoot cottontails on the sniper range. The shot came from behind me. He wasn't my target, he was my trainer. It was deliberate."
"Then why let you live after killing a trainer?"
I shrug. "Too much time to train another one? They had a job coming up and they needed me. I cannot imagine they could pull out a full-grown clone and expect her to be compliant, they'd have to start again, wouldn't they? They saw I was as well-trained as they would ever get probably, and took their chances."
I'm silent for a few more minutes. "That's how I know there's a God, Lucan. All these lucky breaks, all this training, and all this self-control and determination did not happen by accident. I was made by someone for something. And while everyone seems to think I was made for their purpose, I know that's not true. I have only one true purpose." I give him a crooked smile. "I don't mind doing the jobs you ask me to do, but none of this is my one true purpose. You should know that."
His face is serious when he speaks. "The truth now, Junco. Do you think I might be damned by your God?"
I frown. I don't want to think about this. "Maybe." I regret my answer instantly and look away, not meeting his eyes. "No?"
But I swallow and stare into his blue eyes and give him the truth. "I don't know and I don't want to know. I don't want to know, Lucan. So, it doesn't matter. I just feel like – like we're in this together, ya know? Somehow. We're tied together, you and me. So, if you're damned, Lucan – then so am I." I want to smile but the muscles won't co-operate. "And if we are damned, well, then fuck it. We'll go down together then, I guess."
He puts his arm around me and whispers in my ear. "Thank you for that. It means a lot."
"Unless, of course, God says he's gonna smite me." I feel Lucan's chest shake with a laugh. "Because a little baby smote across the teeth from your father is one thing, but being smoted by your God can't be good. The Bible is full of smiting and smoting. And I've always wanted to use these words in a serious conversation, but never had the chance. So–"
He laughs out loud now. "Junco, I think you're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
I pull back and look up. "Ditto, Lucan. You're actually one of the most reliable people I've had in my life, like – ever." I let that sink in. "But ya do realize, that's a pretty low bar, right?" I grin at his surprised expression. "I mean, look at my parents. So, don't go getting a big ego or start thinking you're special or anything."
"OK, Junco. Well, you might not like me too much after I tell you this."
"What?"
"Isten will be here at 3 AM to take you to the simulated Earth firing range. You'll spend the next three days with him."
I draw in some air between my teeth. "Yeah, that stings. Isten was a major asshole today. Not friendly at all. You have any idea what that's about?"
His silence says he does, but he stands up and pulls me to my feet as well. "You'll have to work it out with him, Junco. I better let you rest, 3 AM comes pretty fast."
I give a sloppy salute and he's gone. I stay up there a little longer, then fly down and climb in the bed and drift off within seconds.
Chapter Six
Isten shows up half an hour early and pulls me out of bed by my feet, then picks up a bag he's already packed and drags me, still half out of it, to the waiting flyer that will take us to the spaceport. I sleep all the way there, rouse myself just long enough to buckle into the free-G harness, then pass back out.
When I wake up we are still fucking pushing through deep space. I check my vision screen for the time. It's just past noon. "Jasus fuck, Isten, where the hell is this place?"
He doesn't look up from his logs. "We'll be there in another hour."
I yawn. "Fuck it. If you're still gonna be a dick I'll just go back to sleep."
He doesn't even answer me and I can't sleep another minute, so I sit there in silence until we start the docking sequence. The world is not a planet-like habitat like Justice, nor is it a torus like Amelia. It's nothing but a non-reflective sphere just hovering out in the dark. Once we get closer in I discover that the outer boundaries are transparent and there are actually two spheres, one inside the other. I squint to see the splashes of terrain. Mountains, desert, grasslands… I almost moan with desire when I see it.
When we disembark the ship and enter the interior of the massive habitat it really does feel like Earth. Same G, same atmosphere, same clouds, sky, sun – all fake of course, but everything is just like Earth.
We unpack our gear and catch a ride on a small plane up to the mountains. By the time the trip is all said and done we've lost all the daylight, so Isten and I pitch camp in the dark under the dim light of two solar-powered lanterns that work just well enough to throw shadows everywhere and make life more difficult.
Throughout all this Isten has only said three words to me that weren't absolutely necessary. And they were 'Move that ass' as we were hiking with packs that weigh more than I do up the side of the mountain to make our base. There is only one tent, so bunk time should be a fucking riot.
"Hey, Junco?"
I swipe a hand over my forehead to wipe the sweat off me. "What?"
He throws me a ration. I pocket it and keep cleaning Big Boy. Isten pulls the tab off his packet of food and squeezes it into his mouth. Just thinking about food makes me want to vomit. I shoot him a disgusted look.
"I hope you're not going to be moody the whole time, Junco. I'm sick of it already."
I look up and smile. "Fuck you, Isten. I don't know why you're mad, I didn't do anything to you. Nothing."
He comes over and kneels down next to me, automatically picking up pieces of my rifle and helping me put it back together. "Yeah, actually you did, Junco. You went and wasted three fucking weeks messing around with Tier when we could have been training together."
I throw up my hands. "Are you fucking kidding me? That's why you're mad at me? Because I wanted some downtime?"
His hands are moving fast on the weapon parts now, so I sit back and stretch my legs out and let him have at it. He doesn't look up when he answers. "Tier is not the most important person in your life, Junco. I am." He does look up then. "I am, you get it? I'm your spotter, you're my spotter. The only thing that counts is us. No one else matters, Junco. Just me and you." He stops for a minute and puts the final piece on the weapon with a satisfying snap. "And we could've had this shit all worked out weeks ago if you had the good fucking sense to give a shit."
I just stare at the back of his head. "I didn't know, Isten. I worked alone on Earth. Or with my father. I only did assassinations, remember? I only used a spotter for training."
"Which means," he says, looking back at me now, "it will be even harder to get our minds synced up, Junco. We probably won't be able to do it. It's gonna be a disaster."
I shake my head at him and smile. "Isten, this is my home we're talking about. I could do this mission blindfolded. I know that place, we're gonna be just fine."
"We're not going to be in the MR or the RR, Junco. That's wishful thinking."
I shake my head. "You're wrong, Isten. That's exactly where they'll be. I've been thinking about this a lot, even when I was on vacation, so shut the fuck up about me being a slacker." I wait for him to look at me before continuing. "Moju is probably in with those Subjack people, my mother, Selia – all of them. So we just need to go get him first, then he'll know where they are. He will. And I'll bet you anything you want right fucking now, he's gonna say they're in the MR. Not all of it was bombed, only Peaks was. And Peaks is on the very Eastern edge. There's another world up there in the mountains."
He sits back next to me and stretches out his legs too, then lies all the way back on my bag. "I was gonna kill Kush on Deliverance day, Junco. I cannot fucking believe you slept with him." He stares up at the fake stars, avoiding my eyes.
"Why?" I whisper.
He huffs. "Why kill him, or why can't I believe you slept with him?"
I shrug. "Both, whatever."
He sits up, leans over into my face, pushes me back and then grabs my hands and pins me down as he straddles my chest.
"What the fuck, Isten?"
He leans down harder until it gets uncomfortable and I squirm, but he doesn't let up. I weave my leg around his and pull him, then push with my shoulder and free one hand, squirm again, and flip onto my side. We wrestle and he knocks me in the head and pisses me off. I elbow him in the cheek, wiggle backwards and grab my SEAR as he regains his position on top.
He smiles at the little blue wand. "What are you gonna do with that, Junco?"
"Get off me, Isten."
He shakes his head. "No. What will you do with it? Kill me?"
I let out a breath. "You know I'm not going to kill you, don't be an asshole."
"Then why did you pull it out?"
"Habit."
He leans down on me harder and I'm having trouble breathing. "What the fuck, Isten? What are you doing?"
"You know why you won't kill me, Junco?"
I laugh, then choke on it. "Of course I do. I love you."
He pushes down on my arms, making me squeal as he lets out one word. "Exactly!"
I growl, then struggle, but he doesn't move. "Exactly what?"
He leans all the way down into my face. "You love me. You're not allowed to hand that shit out to some random guy you want to fuck because you're sad, Junco. I saw how you looked at Kush. You can't give that shit away like that, because the minute you do, they own you." He lets go and gets up. "Just like I own you right now."
I'm just too stunned to say anything so I lie there and wait for him to talk it out.
"I heard Ashur that night after the nargala."
"What? Heard him say what?"
"You think it was Tier who saved you, but it wasn't, Junco. It was us. All of us. We planned it together, Tier was just the one on the ground with you. We saved you, not him."
I sit up and peek around so I can see his face. "I realize that, Is. I do."
"It wasn't a figure of speech, just now. I own you, Junco. I don't know how close your Earth sniper teams are, from what I've seen they can't be that different given the nature of the work, but our teams are almost always joined." He looks over to me. "You don't understand, so let me spell it out for you, our minds will be twined before we go back to Amelia."
"What's twined?"
He lets out a little laugh. "Tier could've explained this shit to you while you were fucking him all that time, but no. You two are perfect for each other, ya know that? Mr. and Mrs. I-hate-the-rules. Do what I say, not what I do."
"Fuck you, Isten. Don't talk to me that way, understand?" I get up and try to walk away, but he grabs my ankle and pulls me down hard on the ground. I spring back on my feet and kick him in the face. He falls back slightly and then reaches for my leg and drops me to the ground again. This time I'm ready and I grapple, bending his arm back. I'm waiting for the tap when he flings himself on his side and pins me down on the ground face first, pressing me into a leg bar so that my Achilles tendon is stretched just to the point of snapping.
I tap.
He leans down in my face, his labored breath matching my own. "You should've crushed my elbow, Junco." He puts a little more pressure on my tendon and I squeal. "But you didn't. Because you can't bring yourself to hurt me."
I whimper as he adds yet another fraction of pressure to my leg.
"But make no mistake, Snowbird. People who say they love you are still capable of hurting you. Very badly. Do not hand that shit out. Got it?"
I let out a small grunt of agreement and he eases up and lets me go.
I kick him with my boot as I scramble away. "Look, I don't like to play games and there's obviously something you're not telling me, so fucking spit it out."
"You own Lucan, just like I own you. Because he loves you now. And that's the only reason he let you and Tier go away like that. Because he knows, and Tier knows, that it can't go anywhere. Ever. As long as you're on the team, you can't just fuck the captain, Junco."
I shrug and catch my breath. "So, maybe I'll quit. Problem solved."
He smiles up at me. "Right, you do that. After this mission. You will not be with Tier in any capacity except as his ninth warrior until the day you do quit. You got it now?"
"Yeah, I get it."
"And tomorrow I'm gonna twine you to me and that's the fucking end of it. I'll be in your head every fucking minute of every day. Even after you quit, Junco. Until I die."
I swallow as it hits me. "Why didn't anyone tell me this?"
"You gotta wonder, right? Why didn't they?" And then he gets up and walks out of the tent. Leaving me there alone.
I sit there for a while full of questions and then follow him outside. He's lying on his back by a small fire, smoking a cigarette. I lie down next to him and he offers the pack. I take one and touch the striker as I inhale. "I know why you guys always leave this shit a mystery until the last minute."
"Yeah?" He turns slightly, his hazel eyes glowing in the firelight. "What is it, then?"
"You don't trust me, do you? You all thought if I knew I'd quit and break my promise." I look up and see stars and smile at Orion. On Earth Orion isn't visible to the RR in June. "What more do I have to do to make you believe in me, Isten? I mean, I thought you guys wanted Tier to be saved."
He inhales and then blows out a cloud of smoke towards the night sky. "Everyone hates Tier except us, Junco. Why else would those fucking Archers let him rot in jail like that, put him on trial, make him look like shit in front of everyone?" He looks over to me, the light dancing over his face. "Why did they make you slice your fucking chest open to wipe away a debt that never mattered to them in the first place?"
He looks away and takes another drag before continuing. "Lucan gave him all those gifts. All those unsanctioned, illegal fucking gifts and then all of us have to pay the price for his stupidity. And I get it, Lucan picked him long before the 039 ever came into existence. So whatever, I've gotten plenty of gifts from him too. But it's gone way beyond that. They're afraid of him now, Junco."
I recall Tier poking his finger into Lucan's chest the other night and it begins to make sense.
"Not even Lucan can control him. Not after what you did to boost him. That fucking freak show of a mess you made out there on stage that night? You do realize it was a plan by Sera to oust Lucan, right? Give Tier control over everything? He might as well be running the whole show now."
"Wait, what?"
Isten sighs deeply. "Fuck, Junco. I am having a hard time reconciling the two sides of you. Ruthless, skilled killer and helpless, naive teenage girl. Who are you today? Just so I know how slow I should talk?"
"I have–"
"No idea what I'm talking about. Right, I get it – you can pick out Alcor, but not the full moon. Anyway, now Lucan's in love with you, too. It's like some goddamn Greek tragedy playing out before my eyes."
"He doesn't love me like that, Isten."
Isten laughs. "Uh-huh. Right, Junco. He just wants to shower you with gifts and protect you. Fuck, you need to grow up a little." He turns and sits up and I pull back just in case he gets the urge to attack me again.
"It doesn't matter, tomorrow it's over for both of them. Because it's me and you from now on. And I don't know why they never explained it to you, Junco, I really don't, but this was always in the plan. The last time we all talked it over together the purpose of saving you was to get the 039 our ninth warrior and since your skills merged with mine, well, it was perfect. This whole coincidence of you actually turning out to be the honest to God fucking Seventh Sibling for real, was just that. A fucking fluke. We didn't know, we thought you were just a pretty effective fucking clone. And we just wanted you for us." He turns so I can see his face. "That's it, Junco. We liked you and we just wanted you for us."
We sit there listening to the crackle of the fire for several long minutes.
I feel stupid.
&nbs
p; But no one has been straight with me and I just don't have the history with these people to understand what's going on. Or, like Lucan said, ask good questions.
"I followed you through sniper school, did you know that, Junco?"
His words snap me back to the present. "What?" I frown up at him. "What do you mean?"
He smiles at me now. "I was with you every fucking second of that training." He looks away and his smile falters. "I was," he hesitates, "not visible, one of Lucan's gifts, so you never saw me. But that's how long we've planned for you to be our nine. I've been waiting for this day a long time and I just don't know what Tier was thinking." He shakes his head, clearly confused. "It was his idea. If he wanted you for himself all he had to do was say so. But the day you guys came back from vacation I asked him and he said it was still on."
I squeeze my eyes shut as the words soak in. "He gave me away?" My throat starts to tighten up a little it hurts so bad.
"Basically, you could say that."
"And Ashur? He knew too? And took me out to dinner and kissed me?"
"He kissed you?" Isten lets out a long sigh. "Fuck, anyone else I should know about?"
"I kissed him back, if that was your next question. You gonna threaten to kill him now?"
He stays silent, but I'm just getting warmed up. "So once again, everyone knew but me, yet they all felt like they could just play with my feelings?"
More silence. I nod and get up. "Wonderful. I'm done for today, Isten. Whatever happens tomorrow, happens. I imagine that if this wasn't in the plan then someone would have stopped you from taking me off-world, so that's just motherfucking wonderful."
I've been sold out yet again.
Chapter Seven
I wake up in the morning and Isten is banging shit around outside. The air is cool and misty when I venture through the flap in my bed clothes. The fake sun is just peeking up over the fake horizon in what I can only assume is the fake east.
