by J. A. Huss
Oh, God. I feel sick. I stop and make him stop too. "What is it? What's my part?"
"That's up to you, Snowbird. Us or them. Human or avian."
"Who is us and who is them, Gideon?"
He sneers at me. "Who the fuck do you think is us, Junco?"
"Then why would Lucan and them let me live, after they get the six? I mean they have to know I'll choose humans and Earth. So, why wouldn't they just kill me and stop that last part from happening?"
He shrugs. "You tell me. Why would Lucan let you live? Are you sure he would?"
I want to say yes, but I'm not sure. Ashur said they needed my help out of all the shit they're in so that part adds up. But Lucan made such a big deal about me coming home. That part makes no sense if he wants to kill me. Unless he just wants me back to make sure I die.
I change the subject.
"You said you named me? What's that all about?"
"I wasn't the only other Seven, Junco. I was just one among hundreds over the years, but I'm the only one the RR let live besides you because all of my clutch was insane except me. Ironic, huh?" He stops to look over at me. "And they let me live if I agreed to be connected to you. You see, they already made a shitload of Sevens, but they all went insane before they ever got out of playschool. They were all utterly and completely wild in every way. Uncontrollable, unreasonable, and a menace to everyone. And while the Seven doesn't really do all that much until the end, if the Seven isn't right, the other six aren't right either. It's all or nothing. You can't pick and choose the Siblings. Doesn't work that way. They all have to come from the same clutch. So, they figured they needed to redistribute the different genetic attributes and raise the Seven using a unique combination of environmental factors."
"My training."
He nods. "Right. And your family, that acrobatic shit you do, the horses, the piano – all of it was part of your conditioning. To keep the human parts in your psyche while they sucked them all out of your cells to prepare you for morph. So you'd be ready for the next phase. You were born half human, but half humans don't morph into avians, Junco. They took that shit away to make you morph."
He starts walking again and I keep up because I have the other half of the damn rifle.
"So, what's that have to do with you naming me?"
"I was your anchor. They needed you to have one normal human relationship. Someone you could always trust. And that was me. They took me to you the day you were born and told me to name you. I was only five, right? So, of course I had all these grand ideas about names and omens and shit like that. And it snowed that day."
I snort. "It snowed on September, 3rd?"
He smiles down at me. "Yeah, pretty good omen I thought. So I named you snowbird because your little mouth was in the shape of an O when I went in to see you, like a baby bird waiting for food."
I feel warm for a second.
"But they weren't on board with snowbird, so they made it Junco instead."
"Who are they?"
"Your father mostly, Junco. I get that you hate him. And if I was you and had to go through all that shit and not understand why, I'd hate him too. But the things he did saved your life more times than I can count. He wanted you to live, that's why he pushed you so hard. He didn't want them to kill you like they did all the others."
All the others.
I take a few deep breaths and let the silence linger as our feet travel the tunnel. "They tried to kill me, after that shit with the mutant kids. That's why I had to kill that trainer. He shot me on the sniper range, but not a good shot. You only get one shot at me."
He laughs. "Yeah. I know. And that was Matthew anyway, right? If there is a devil, then Matthew was it."
Yeah. I hated fucking Matthew. He made Dale look like Santa. "Who else is in on this, Gideon?"
"The rest are not important right now. All bad people on all sides, Junco. We'll get them. Don't worry. We'll get them back for all of it. But not today. Today we get Inanna and Iliana and we go back with your friends to their home."
"Iliana? I thought she was dead? Isten said they killed her."
"Hardly any of these people really die. Clones, right? They are digitizing consciousness now, so this Iliana is the same one that was close to Tier." His words link Tier and Iliana in a way that makes me hurt inside, but I push it down. No point in being jealous when I get to kill the bitch in the end. "She was a real Seven, like us. Before she was killed the first time. But even though her consciousness can be transferred to a new body, the genetics don't match exactly. She's not a Seven anymore. Just an Iliana clone who wishes she was us. And Tier and them, they were just too stupid to figure it out until it was too late. She's just a worthless clone."
"And all those clones of Aren?"
"There's only one Aren, and he hasn't died yet. Just like you. There's only one Junco and if they have clones of me," he stops to look back, "then they're impostors too. All of them. I am the Seven of Clutch 139 and you are the Seven of Clutch 144. We are the only Sevens left from the RR engineering. Now the MR, they have their own shit going on. But we're the sanctioned ones, the ones that come from the real genetics and not the cloned genetics. Just us, Junco. There is no Clutch 145 as far as I know. And if there is, it doesn't matter anymore. The avians have their six and as long as they're all alive when they extract the DNA, the next clutch doesn't matter. As far as Aren goes, his worthless parents sold his genetics when he was a kid. He wasn't responsible for that."
We walk for a few minutes without talking. The puddles in the tunnel are getting deeper and my feet make more noise than I'm comfortable with. "The Aren I spent the night with, back in the scrub, after the MR caught me? Who was that guy? Do you know? He knew my favorite food. He kept a secret I told him back in cadets. And he fought for me when Tier was trying to take me away."
"Just a clone, Junco." He stops to look at me. "Don't get caught up in it. They're clones. They look like us, but they are not us."
"Have they cloned Tier?"
He blows out some air through his teeth. "He fucked up so bad. Pure avian clones are not like the human ones – you can manipulate them in all sorts of ways in the tank. Make them grow faster, be smarter, change muscles, or anything else. I cannot even tell you how much fucking worse he's made the situation down here. I'd like to kill him for that reason alone."
I roll my eyes. "Whatever."
Gideon grunts out a little laugh. "As powerful as Tier is, Junco? He's no match for me, I was playing with him back in those tunnels. We aren't even the same species."
He turns and picks up the pace, forcing me to as well since we are attached at the rifle. Lucan's words come back to me when I asked him if I was a demon. He said we weren't even the same being, but my mind is full of Isten and Iliana and so much more I cannot even put it in words. So fuck it. The full moon will just have to wait a little longer because I'm busy looking at Alcor.
Gideon stops walking and hands me back his part of the rifle, then starts removing a grate built into the side of the wall. "We'll go up through here. Sera says this is the overflow drain."
Chapter Thirty-Three
It's not a big grate. Not at all. I peek around his hunched shoulders and try to imagine him even fitting in that drain, that's how fucking small it is.
"Uh, I don't think you'll fit through there, Gid."
"Shut up, Junco. I'll fit and so will you. Just do what I tell you now." He finishes up with the last screw and pries a few layers of rust and grime off the sides and tugs until the metal snaps free and he falls backward a little. He sets it on the ground and looks back at me, serious. "Forty-seven minutes, Junco. Do not play around, you hear me?"
"I won't. Shit, don't be such an asshole."
"I'll go first, you follow and since you're so much smaller, pick that fucking grate up and pull it in behind you just in case someone stumbles onto our little escape route."
And then he takes back the 50 cal, turns, and forces his wide shoulders into the insanely s
mall passageway, wiggling a little bit to get past the entrance. The 50 cal follows him in, it too wiggling as it moves along the tether that is around his arm.
I breathe heavy for him as I imagine how tight it is, then feel a sharp pain in my head and wince at Isten's memories. No time for stupid shit, Junco. I pick up the grate and crawl in once he's out of the way, then contort myself around and prop the grate back against the opening.
Gideon is moving faster than I could ever imagine in this tight space and it takes me a second to get into my sniper crawl and keep up with him.
The pain in my head increases as Isten's memories flood into me in another wave. I moan a little and this sets Gideon off.
"What the fuck is wrong now, Junco?"
"The memories, I'm sorry. It fucking hurts." I see Isten as a ten-year-old in his sniper training and then smile when Lucan gifts him scope sight when he completes his course. He's got a lot of experience on me. I think. Then Gid is in my brain snatching up memories and the pressure subsides.
"When did I first go to sniper training, Gideon?"
He's breathing a lot harder than me, wearing out fast from the effort it takes to move through the little tunnel. "You started training the day you were born, Junco. I guess you shot your first little scoped rifle at five? I don't remember. A lot sooner than Isten, if that's what you're wondering."
The passageway starts to get wet and we slosh against the trickle of running water. "Oh, my God, what is that fucking smell."
He grunts up ahead. "You don't want to know. Just keep crawling."
I turn my head and hurl. The remains of my mapolina meal comes up in waves. I hurl again as my stomach contracts and retches up everything left of those potential calories.
"You all right?"
I heave a few more times but nothing else comes up. "No, this place smells, what is it?"
He ignores me and starts crawling again so I follow.
The truth doesn't set you free, Junco, that was pure bullshit. Let it go and if you need to know what it is, well, then–
"Shit!"
"What?"
"They're evacuating the clone tanks."
And then I hear it. The slurp of water circling a drain somewhere up ahead. The massive deluge is upon us in seconds and Gideon is speaking in my head. Hold your breath, Snowbird, just like they made you in the pool. Hold your breath and crawl fast or you will die.
The words sting me back to the past, swimming in my house pool as heavy hands hold me under the water for minutes at a time.
"Why are you sad?" HOUSE asks me.
"I don't get to see Gideon."
"You never see Gideon when you're at home."
I shake my head up at her and flop back on my bed. The purple canopy ripples from the blast of cold air coming from the ceiling. "I'm not supposed to be at home in the summer, don't you see?"
"So you want to be at camp?"
"Ahrrrrhhh. You make me angry. You know what I mean, HOUSE. I want to be with Gideon. He's my only friend during the summer and now I have to stay home and do regular stuff."
"Maybe you shouldn't have been bad, Junco?"
I turn away, not that it makes any difference. HOUSE can see me no matter what position I'm in. "I'm not bad. Gid said so. I'm just doing my job. Matthew is bad."
"But now he's coming here to teach you to swim because you ran off after Gideon was taken away and no one could find you for two days."
I swallow down the fear that comes with the memory of how Matthew punished me. "Yeah, but my dad will be here."
"I'll be here too, Junco."
I nod. I know that. HOUSE is good to me. "You're a good friend. I just wish you were real – errr – I mean, I know you're real, HOUSE. I meant I wish you had a body, so you could play with me."
"Should I make a holographic body?"
I sit up. "Can you do that?"
I can almost feel her smile. I know she's an AI and can't really smile, but sometimes I can feel her smile. "I can if you order me to, Junco. I am here to take your orders just as if you were your father."
This is new to me. "Since when? You never did that before."
"Since you came home last week. Your father reprogrammed me to accept your orders as absolute. It is not something that can be undone, by anyone."
I pause to think about this new development. I won't be ten for a couple more months, and maybe I don't know a lot of stuff about the grown-up world, but I know what this means. I have a new power. It scares me a little. Dad only gives me powers when he thinks I might need them. "Will I get in trouble if I ask you to be real?"
"If you tell me to make it a secret, then I can't tell anyone about it."
I smile. Sneaky HOUSE. "Make a body and keep it a secret."
And then she's in front of me, sitting on the bed, wearing clothes that came right out of my closet. I squeal. "You did it!" She smiles for real now and this makes her hazel eyes glimmer gold in the sunlight coming through my courtyard window. "You look like me, only younger."
"I'm the little sister," she says as she stretches out near the bottom of the mattress. "Your bed feels wonderful." She looks up at the canopy and then down at the quilt. "I like unicorns."
I giggle. "Me too, even though it's a little babyish. Pretty soon Dad said he'll move my bedroom into my safe room and I can pick new stuff from Peaks. You can come with me. To pick it out, if you want."
There's a knock at the door and HOUSE disappears.
"Enter."
"Who are you talking to, Junco?"
I flop back on the bed. "Just HOUSE."
My dad scratches his chin and makes a face down at me and I know he knows I'm hiding something, but what I said was not a lie so he's probably not sure what to do about it. I laugh at this and he shakes his head at me. "Junco, I hope you're not making plans."
I frown at him. "I'm not. I didn't lie, I was talking to HOUSE. Ask her."
He changes the subject. "Matthew will be here tomorrow for swimming lessons, so–"
"I don't need swimming lessons, I already know how to swim!"
"Junco, I already explained this to you, these are advanced lessons. For when you're trapped somewhere with no air. To prepare you."
This makes no sense and I want to scream this up at him. We live in the Rural Republic, there aren't even lakes most years, it's so dry out on the plains. Our mountain cabin has a lake, but I'm not allowed to walk on the lake when it's frozen and ice is the only thing I can think of that would make me trapped somewhere with no air. So why would I need to learn to hold my breath? Most of the time they want me to breathe more, not hold it in. "That's stupid."
"It doesn't matter if it's stupid, you're still going to learn how to hold your breath." He walks around the room, probably looking for something, anything, that might be out of place and can explain the feeling that I'm hiding something. But it's all in order and my eyes track him as he returns back to the end of my bed. "You should go out to the barn and practice."
"Can't," I say with satisfaction. "Michael's not here today. Had to go to Peaks for a dentist appointment. And the rules say that I can only ride when Mich–"
"I know the rules, Junco. I didn't know Michael was gone today. You should go play piano then. Now. No arguing."
I make a face at him as I get up. "I will play piano, but not because you told me to. I'll play because I want to."
He puts a hand on my shoulder as I walk past, making me stop. "You have a very bad attitude these days, Junco. You better not let it get out of hand."
I look up at his eyes. He's not playing with me. "Sorry. I just miss Gideon."
"Gideon is gone now. He won't be back for a very long time. Which means you'll just have to accept it and move on."
I huff and look away. "I'm not happy about that. Not happy at all."
When I look back up at him he smiles. "But you will not act out any more, do you understand?"
I nod and walk out to the living room. The smooth white tiles are cool on m
y bare feet and I'm glad I don't have to go outside and ride today. It's hot out there.
There are soldiers around, like always, but most of them I don't know. The living room guard tips his head at me as I pass and I smile. "Would you like me to play Asgarth, Private Roche?"
He says nothing because my dad follows me into the living room. "Junco, don't talk to the guards, you know better."
I groan. Loudly. "Maybe someone should tell me what I am allowed to do, instead of what I'm not allowed to do. That would be easier."
"Your mouth will make this day an unhappy one if you cannot control it."
I ignore him and sit down on the bench and swing my feet as I flip through the sheet music I have propped up on the stand. "Asgarth it is, Roche." My fingers pick out the notes, one by one, and I secretly wish for bubblegum. I like to chomp and snap my gum to the beat, but no one else seems to appreciate how much better I play when I can do that.
My dad comes over and starts the metronome and I frown.
"HOUSE?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Record this and send a copy to my office when she's finished." He looks down at me, but my fingers never stop. "Junco, ninety minutes and not a minute less."
I don't answer. I'm really pushing my luck, but sometimes I can't stop myself. He walks away and I smile. Teeny tiny victories are all I can hope for these days. But I'll take them when I can. "HOUSE, did you know I'm a lion?"
"Why are you a lion, Junco?"
I grin, but still my fingers never stop. That's the secret to piano time. Just keep playing. No one cares what it sounds like, as long as I keep playing. "Because I kill to stay alive." I hear Roche mutter, Oh, fuck, from the other side of the room and I laugh. "I kill just like the prairie lion. Because they tell me to. And if I don't they will kill me. So I kill whoever they–"
I'm flung down on the floor and my head smacks against the tiles. "What did I tell you, Junco?"
I stare my dad straight in the eye. "You told me never to lie. And what I said was the truth."
He pulls me up by the arm and I feel my shoulder pop a little at the force, then he drags me back to my room and pushes me down on the bed. "You just broke your security clearance, Junco. That is punishable by death. You are lucky – very, very lucky – that I love you. Private Roche will keep his mouth shut, but say that in front of Matthew and I will not be able to save you." He closes the door as he leaves and the biometrics on the doorknob flash red.
