by Sue MacKay
‘She fell out and broke her arm once.’ Brendon grinned. ‘That’s what’s bothering her about Aimee getting big enough to climb up there.’
He shuddered. ‘I don’t blame her. They’re mighty tall trees. What are they?’ His neck clicked as he tipped his head back to stare up at the odd trees.
‘They’re native fauna. That one’s a rimu.’ Charlie pointed to the one where the sandpit was. ‘The flowering one is a pohutukawa and the big one in the far corner is a kauri. The wrong varieties to grow in town but every time Dad talks about cutting them down I get upset. It takes for ever to grow a kauri so big.’
‘They must’ve been planted way back when this house was built by Charlie’s great-grandfather. The land surrounding the house has been subdivided off over the years,’ Brendon told him.
For the life of him Marshall could not imagine living in the same house his great-grandparents had. It was inconceivable. Even Grampy had only owned his farm for twenty years, and while it had been the one place on earth Marshall had hated to leave at the end of school holidays he still couldn’t imagine living there week in, week out for years at a time. He shook his head.
‘Charlie, haven’t you ever wanted to move some place else? What about you, Brendon? I’m presuming you moved in when you married Charlie’s mom.’
Two similar faces with the same piercing blue eyes stared back at him, amusement widening their generous mouths. ‘Why would I?’ they answered almost in unison.
‘But there’s a whole world out there.’ He spread his hands, careful not to spill beer over the decking. ‘Different homes, towns, people.’
‘But this is home. Taupo is my birthplace. It’s where I went to school, learned to sail, met my best friends, where Mum’s buried. This is where I want Aimee to grow up. She might not stay but I hope she’ll come back from time to time.’ Charlie looked bewildered. A cute frown formed between carefully styled eyebrows.
Alien. That’s what her concept was. Totally alien. He leaned back in the chair and tipped the beer down his throat. Kiwi beer. Icy cold and tasty. Yeah, he could get to like this. Except he wasn’t hanging around long enough to get used to anything.
Charlie was still watching him. ‘Where did you grow up?’
‘Everywhere and nowhere. I was an army brat, with two career soldiers for parents.’ The next mouthful of beer soured on his tongue. It all sounded quite crappy compared to Charlie’s life. But that’s just how his life had been. Still was and probably always would be.
Look at this visit. Two days, maybe three in New Zealand before he flew back to the States and on to who knew where. Wherever his men went he went, making sure they were safe, or at least doing everything possible to keep them that way.
‘That’s terrible. I can’t begin to imagine what that must’ve been like.’ Her sweet mouth turned down, as though she was hurting for him, or the unhappy little boy he’d been.
Because she’d have guessed he had been unhappy. Not that he’d ever have admitted it, not back then, not now. But he’d known he’d been missing out on things, especially friendships, which was why he’d worked hard at being Mr Popularity at every school he’d attended. Trying to make the most of things all the time. ‘I got to see plenty of new places.’
When the hurt entered her eyes he knew he’d been flippant. Had probably meant to be but equally he really didn’t want to upset her. Charlie deserved better from him. ‘It wasn’t much fun,’ he told her. ‘But there was one constant in my life back then and that was school holidays with my grandparents. They took me in and gave me some stability until I was twelve.’ Until the accident that had changed him for ever. Having to watch Granny suffer as they’d waited for help to arrive had set him on the path to becoming a doctor.
A childish shriek came from the direction of the sandpit and Charlie was up and off the veranda double quick. ‘Hey, sweetheart.’ She bent down at the edge of the pit and scooped Aimee up, plastering kisses over the scrunched-up little face. ‘What’s wrong? Did you drive the truck over your toes again?’
Aimee shook her head slowly from side to side and shoved a thumb in her mouth.
Gently removing the thumb to kiss it, Charlie peered down into the sand. ‘Did Teddy fall off the truck?’
Aimee’s head changed direction as she nodded agreement. Her gaze moved from her mother to Brendon. Then on to him. Those same eyes he had, as Granny had had. The moment they’d registered in his brain he’d known she was his. Not the tiniest of doubts. And while the reality had slammed through him he hadn’t wanted to deny it. A strange sense of hope, of gladness, had taken over and spun him out.
Since when had he thought he wanted a child in his life? Never had, never should. This strange reaction had to be because his body clock was all out of whack after the long flight down here. But what if he could be a good dad? Not that it was likely with his pedigree.
Marshall’s breath stalled in his throat. Those young eyes remained locked on him. He couldn’t break the contact. Could Aimee read his mind? As if. She didn’t yet grasp the concept of what a father was or did. Hell, he didn’t want to disabuse her of any ideas Charlie might teach her about that, but he’d have to tell her the truth about his background one day soon.
Panic flared his nostrils, dried his mouth so that he had to pour some beer into it. But his bottle was empty.
‘Here.’ Brendon handed him another; icy cold and slick with condensation. ‘Get that into you.’ There was understanding in the man’s eyes, in his voice.
‘Thanks,’ he croaked.
‘Give yourself time.’
Didn’t the guy get it? Did Charlie? He glanced in her direction, found her gaze fixed on him, too. Hell, everyone seemed to be keeping an eye on him, waiting for something from him. They weren’t going to be happy. Despite learning about his appalling childhood of being hauled half across the country and back every year, they honestly thought he could do this. Could be a rock-solid father for Aimee. Damnation. He already had a whole troop of men to take care of.
Look at the three Langs. Completely at ease with their lifestyle and each other. Charlie and her father had a strong, loving connection that must’ve got them through a lot over the years, and would continue to do so long after he’d returned to duty. He didn’t have that with either of his parents. He and Charlie? Chalk and cheese? Try the earth and the moon. That’s how far apart they were, how different their lives were. They didn’t have a hope in Hades of making this work.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE NEXT MORNING Charlie dressed with more care than she’d bothered with in forever. Zipping up her denim shorts, she muttered under her breath. She needed a belt to keep them up. Not fair. They’d fitted perfectly back when she’d first bought them at the market in Honolulu. Back before her treatment regime had burnt off all her body fat and then some.
Rummaging through the wardrobe, she found a near-new sleeveless blouse made in a soft cotton fabric and slipped it on. The bright reds and blues added some colour around her pale face. Not even spending time in the sun every day had tanned her skin to a healthy bronze this year. Would she ever look robust again? Would her strength come back if she worked out hard enough? She needed energy before she could work out. Even now, ten months after her last radiation treatment, there were days when walking to the letterbox was exhausting.
Her mouth twisted into a wry smile. Last night, when she’d announced she was off to bed at nine o’clock, Marshall had looked nearly as shocked as when he’d cottoned on to Aimee being his.
‘You’re what?’ he’d blustered.
‘Being a mum and a doctor wears me out,’ she’d explained, once again avoiding the real issue.
Now, slipping into Aimee’s room, she found the cot empty. She glanced at her watch to make sure she hadn’t slept in. No, she’d got that right. Guess Dad had got up earlier than usual to get ready for his fishing trip.
No sound came from the kitchen but the front door was open so she headed in that direction, p
ulling up short the moment her feet hit the veranda. No way. She had to be hallucinating.
Marshall lay sprawled on the lawn while Aimee crawled over him, giggling when he tickled her. Marshall’s total absorption in this simple game made her heart squeeze. This was what she wanted for her daughter. A father who played with her, who would take the time to do things for her and with her. There was wonder in Marshall’s gaze, as though he couldn’t believe he’d created this gorgeous tot.
Had he never thought about having a family of his own? From the little he’d mentioned yesterday about his childhood it probably wasn’t at the top of his to-do list. Her heart squeezed painfully. She’d always thought she’d have children some time in her future. Children, as in more than one. It hurt to think that dream was over. Being grateful for having Aimee didn’t always cut it. Her daughter would never have siblings. She’d never again feel a baby growing inside her body. It was damned hard to swallow at times.
Marshall looked up then and smiled that easy smile of his. ‘Hey, you’re looking good.’ His gaze trawled over her.
‘Thanks.’ She blushed.
‘Mum, mum. Play.’ Aimee delivered a soft punch to Marshall’s chin.
‘Hey, small fry, watch it.’ Marshall grinned and lifted Aimee up into the air above his head, rocking her gently as she shrieked with laughter.
The man was a natural. Aimee had obviously fallen for him already, appearing totally relaxed in his grasp. She’d definitely have made it known if she had any qualms. That had to be good.
‘I hope it was okay to get Aimee up. She was chattering away to herself when I got up thinking about going for a run, so I figured I’d bring her out here and let you snooze a bit longer. Last night you looked so tired I thought you’d fall asleep on your feet.’
Charlie sat down on the steps. ‘I was a bit zonked. Must’ve been the excitement of you turning up.’
‘I’m losing my touch if you want to go to sleep when I’m around.’ His smile turned into a grin, and set her heart racing wildly.
Her cheeks burned crimson as his gaze intensified, firing up memories of what they used to do in the evenings after work. She’d certainly never fallen asleep until the wee hours of the morning. ‘Guess I’m out of practice,’ she murmured.
‘Really?’ His grin stretched. ‘I like that.’
‘You’re a bit cocky this morning.’ She grinned back. Obviously he’d slept well. Sadly, not even Marshall’s presence in her home had kept her awake for more than a few minutes last night. Sleep came far too easily these days. As for long, hot nights with Marshall, she doubted she’d last more than half an hour before nodding off.
A shiver ran up her back. A familiar pang of fear snatched at her previously happy mood. The uncertainty of her future seemed far worse now that Marshall was back in her life. He might be going away again but now that he’d met Aimee he’d keep in touch. He had to. Selfishly, that made her wish for more. She’d wanted to make contact for Aimee’s sake, but now she knew she’d been lying to herself. She’d never got over him, had compared every man she’d dated since—all two of them—to him and had found them lacking in just about everything. Those two weeks had a lot to answer for, and not just her precious little girl.
‘Charlie?’ Marshall stood over her, Aimee in his arms. ‘You okay? You’ve gone pale.’
I was pale before. ‘Something stepped on my grave.’ Ouch. She sucked a breath through clamped teeth. Wrong thing to say. There wouldn’t be a grave for many years to come. Funny how she’d started to accept she just might make it, yet now with Marshall here on her patch the doubts and fears were creeping back in. Even more to lose than before? Did she want a future that had Marshall in it? Apart from as Aimee’s dad?
Pushing up off the step, she reached to kiss Aimee on the cheek. ‘Good morning, sweetheart.’ And when Marshall leaned closer she rose onto her toes and kissed his cheek too. Except he moved and her lips found his. Good morning, sweetheart.
‘Good morning, beautiful,’ Marshall murmured against her mouth. ‘You are a sight for sore eyes.’
‘Mummy, hungry.’
Reluctantly pulling her lips away from that sensational mouth, she looked at her daughter. ‘Hungry, eh?’ Flicking Marshall a look, she asked, ‘Have you been teaching her new words?’
He grinned. ‘I tried for “Can I have lots of kisses?” but so far “hungry” is it.’ Aimee wriggled to get down. Marshall obliged, carefully placing her on her feet, before straightening and draping an arm over Charlie’s shoulders. ‘Want me to cook breakfast? I do a mean piece of toast.’
Slapping her forehead with the palm of her hand, she groaned, ‘How can I resist?’
‘Morning, everyone.’ Dad strolled out onto the veranda dressed in his lucky fishing trousers. Bending down, he plonked a noisy kiss on Aimee’s forehead. ‘Hello, poppet.’
‘Hungry.’
‘Well, that’s a good thing because I’m about to cook up a storm. A bloke needs a hearty meal before he heads out on the lake to catch the family dinner.’ Dad looked from her to Marshall. ‘Ever been trout fishing, lad?’
‘No. Tried salmon fishing in Canada once. Had a great time but didn’t catch a thing.’
‘I’ll take you out some time. If you come back this way.’ Talk about a loaded statement.
Charlie held her breath but Marshall shrugged it away with absolute ease. ‘Sure. Want a hand with that breakfast?’
A totally noncommittal reply. She swallowed her disappointment. It was better this way than having him make promises he wouldn’t keep once he’d had time to really think everything through.
‘Can always use another pair of hands.’ Dad seemed to accept Marshall’s non-answer, and if anyone would be pushing him that would be Dad. This whole situation was unsettling for him too, worrying if she might pack up and head for the States so she and Aimee could be near Marshall. But Dad needn’t worry. She wouldn’t be doing that.
She smiled as she watched the men walk down the hall to the kitchen, Aimee tottering along behind. Amazing that Dad and Marshall appeared totally at ease with each other. Was Dad trying too hard to make Marshall feel welcome? She hoped not. She wanted Marshall to make up his own mind about what he was going to do. Anyway, he had an army career to get back to. A career that was unlikely to bring him anywhere near New Zealand.
Her heart sank. So much for being excited about having him around. This really was silly. She’d needed Marshall to know about Aimee, and now he did. The last thing even she expected was for him to give up his career. He might be a doctor but first and foremost he was a soldier. That had been abundantly clear in Honolulu when the call had come for him to report back to base earlier than originally expected. He’d immediately gone to the head of the ED and told the guy he was leaving. No asking if that suited, or could the department cope with being left in the lurch. The army and his men came first. And, she suspected, second and third.
‘You’re missing out on your run,’ she muttered as she headed for the cupboards to get plates down.
‘I’ll go later. Maybe tomorrow you can come with me?’
Ouch. Once upon a time there had hardly been a morning she hadn’t gone for a run or cycle first thing. ‘I don’t run any more.’ The plates hit the bench with a bang.
‘You don’t?’ Astonishment cracked through the air. ‘Why not?’
‘I had to stop in the last months of pregnancy and I’ve never got back to it.’ Please don’t ask any more.
‘Charlie.’ She felt his hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him. ‘Am I missing something here?’
‘I…’ Swallow. ‘You know what? I will go with you tomorrow but you’ll have to go easy on me. Not try and race me home, as you always used to.’ Hadn’t she decided to start getting fit yesterday? No time like now to start. Hefting the plates, she headed for the door.
Marshall’s eyes narrowed as she tried to pass him. He opened his mouth and she waited for the questions. But they never came. Slowly he
leaned forward and kissed her lips lightly. ‘It’s a date.’
*
Marshall didn’t know what Charlie was hiding from him but, sensing her unease, he’d let it drop. For now. He didn’t have the right to interrogate her. Not until he’d spent more time with her. But tomorrow they’d go for a run and see if that didn’t open up a line of conversation that might shed some light on the matter. Judging by Charlie’s lack of strength, it would be a very short run. Had something gone horribly wrong during her pregnancy?
In the meantime, he’d concentrate on her father. He found it hard to make Brendon out. The guy made every effort to be friendly yet surely he had plenty of questions ready to fire at him. Taking the bacon and eggs the older man handed him, he said, ‘I’ll do my best to do what’s right for Charlie and Aimee. I can promise you that.’
What I can’t promise is not to hurt them. I know little about being a parent. Also, I will never ask Charlie to tie herself to me for the rest of her life. That would be a half-life. I’d hardly ever be around.
‘I’m sure you will.’
That’s it? The guy was playing with him. Had to be. ‘You know nothing about me.’ Neither did Charlie, come to that.
Brendon banged a pan on an element. ‘You’re right. I don’t, but I trust Charlie’s judgement.’
‘That’s it?’ he repeated out loud. ‘Come on. I can see you’ve got questions begging for answers. Fire away.’ He pulled his back ramrod-straight, tightened his shoulders and faced the man down. At least he tried to but Brendon wasn’t intimidated at all.
Shaking his head, Brendon asked, ‘How do you like your eggs?’
Anger sped through his veins. What was this man about? Trying to scare him off in a weird, roundabout way? ‘Charlie mentioned you’d suggested she give up looking for me. Would you prefer it if I hadn’t got in touch at all?’ Except not once, even when Brendon had seen them kissing, had this man indicated he had problems with his sudden appearance.
