“Are you kidding me, Julie?” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “You are the reason we found her and Luna Quinn. She hasn’t been in the river long so there could be evidence that hasn’t washed away. Thanks to you.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze before releasing it. “We actually collected evidence off of Luna Quinn and whatever we find here could help catch this psychopath.”
He closed the door then and I watched him walk away. It was probably the kindest thing anyone had ever said to me regarding finding bodies. I let that adulation warm me a little as he disappeared down the path to stand sentry over the body. Soon all those involved in the death trade arrived in droves wearing uniforms and coveralls, carrying notebooks, cameras and specialized equipment. This shit show was going to take a while.
Before Pierce returned to the car I’d used my phone to search up the blonde girl in the water. Iris Bell was seventeen with a promising future in the sciences according to teachers. She was “the best person in the world” according to her friends. If I’d been murdered at seventeen there wouldn’t have been anyone besides Katie to brag about me. There still wasn’t.
I sent Katie a text asking if she wanted to come over and cut my hair later. She loved nothing more than sitting me down and making me over.
She texted me back immediately: Awesome! I’ll bring wine!
Then she added: For me. No wine for you.
And added a winky emoji.
I messaged her that I was out for a couple hours but would let her know when I was back home. Her reply was a simple K.
It made me feel better to have something to look forward to besides the awkward ride home with Agent Pierce. Katie would be a nice distraction. I didn’t want to be alone to brood about Iris Bell and her white ribbon.
Agent Pierce was in a jovial mood when he climbed back behind the wheel of his car. Apparently finding bodies did not have the same morose effect on his personality. He gushed on about how he felt they were getting closer to finding the killer. He also said it would be good to give Iris Bell’s family closure.
Yeah. I’m sure it’ll make their day to find out that their daughter was floating in the Nooksack. I bet they’ll throw a frickin’ party.
“This kind of asshole, well, he just keeps killing. He won’t stop at three.” Pierce started up the car. “The more evidence we get, the quicker we’ll nail his ass.”
We were quiet as he turned the car around, crossed the truss bridge and then put miles between us and Iris Bell. Eventually we were back on the I-5 and making our way north. The road stretched out in front of us and death was far in the rearview mirror. I stared out the window in silence and watched the fields roll by.
“I owe you an apology,” Pierce announced suddenly.
I turned and blinked at him as I thought I’d missed something.
“The bridge,” he said.
“Oh. That.” I turned away as embarrassment heated my cheeks. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just weird about high bridges.”
“You told me you didn’t like heights and I pushed you so, yeah, I’m sorry. That was cruel.”
“It’s okay,” I murmured and kept my face turned to look out the window.
“The medical examiner thinks she’s been in the water less than twenty-four hours. We’re getting closer to finding this guy. I can feel it. The preliminary report is back on Luna Quinn. Asphyxiation. Strangled. No sign of sexual assault.”
I chewed on that comment quite a while and turned it over and over inside my head. It wasn’t until he exited the highway and drove past Gramps’s place that it occurred to me.
“Hold on,” I said sitting up straight. “She was in the water less than twenty-four hours?”
He looked at me and nodded. “Give or take a few.”
“She hadn’t been dead that long. I mean, I’ve seen them when they’ve been dead a while and she looked...there wasn’t much...”
He frowned and nodded.
“Yes, he’s keeping them alive a while before killing them. He grabbed her on the fifth of the month. Three weeks ago. At least that gives us hope we can catch him before he kills again.”
“Fuck you!” I punched him hard in the arm.
“Hey!” He looked at me like I’d lost my mind.
“You told me you had someone in custody!” I screamed. How dare he manipulate me like this! “You led me to believe we were looking for bodies because of stuff he told you. This guy is still out there!”
“No, wait a second,” he said in a reasonable tone. “We’ve had a few people in to be interviewed and—”
“You lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie I just—”
“You lied.”
We were only a few yards from my place. If I hadn’t been so caught up in Agent Pierce’s betrayal I would’ve noticed Denny’s pickup earlier. Now Pierce pulled up alongside Denny’s truck.
“Oh, shit.” I blew out a long breath. “This isn’t going to go so well. You should probably just go.”
As soon as Pierce stopped the car, I hopped out.
“Hi, Denny.”
I smiled brightly and walked over to where he was sitting on my steps. I tried to kiss him but he turned his head.
“Who’s that?”
Agent Pierce climbed out of his vehicle and walked toward us, and Wookie started barking inside the trailer.
“Denny, this is Agent Pierce. He’s an FBI agent.”
“Am I supposed to be impressed?” Denny asked sullenly as he got to his feet. “That’s where you’ve been all day? Hanging out with some fucking FBI agent?”
“She was doing me a favor—” Pierce began.
“I was not talking to you,” Denny snarled at Pierce.
“Just go,” I said to Pierce.
“I think I’d better stay.”
“What the fuck, Julie? You off doing your wacky voodoo thing? Sneaking around behind my back so you can conjure up some bullshit witchcraft shit to find dead people? Is that what you’re doing?”
“It’s not bullshi—”
“It is!”
He screamed right up in my face, and before I knew it Agent Pierce had Denny on the ground and had his knee in pressing into the middle of Denny’s back.
“Let him up!” I hollered. “For God’s sake, Pierce, stop that!”
Pierce helped Denny up and stood between us.
“I think you’d better leave unless you can talk to Julie with respect,” Pierce told him.
“Yeah, fuck you.” Denny spat at Pierce and a blob of spittle landed mid-chest. Then he stomped over to his truck, climbed inside and fishtailed out of my driveway, kicking up a cloud of gravel all the way back to the highway.
“Jesus.” I covered my face with shaking hands and tried to regain control. After a few seconds I looked at Pierce. “You need to go.”
“Hey, I wasn’t going to just stand here and watch the guy put his hands on you.”
“He would never do that!” I cried. “He was just pissed about the dowsing. He doesn’t like it. There is no way he’d hurt me. Not ever.”
“I’m sorry then.” He cleared his throat. “I just assumed that maybe that was the reason why...” He let his voice trail off.
“Why what?” I demanded.
“Why you’re so damn skittish, like a dog that’s been kicked too often.”
His words slammed into my chest and crushed me.
“Just go. Please.”
Tears smeared my cheeks and the words came out on a strangled sob and I hated myself for letting him see me cry.
I went inside my trailer, sank to the floor and listened to the sound of Pierce’s vehicle heading back toward the highway. I sat on the floor and let Wookie lick my face as I bawled.
My phone chimed a text after a
few minutes, and I hoped it was Denny but it was Katie.
Are you home yet?
I replied: Sorry. I have to cancel. Maybe tomorrow.
Katie: Oh come ON!
She sent me an angry-faced emoji.
Although Katie was the queen of the last-minute cancellation she did not like to have it done to her. She was pissed.
I turned the phone on silent then opened the door to let Wookie out. He sniffed and peed on every rock and weed within a dozen yards of the trailer. Once he was back inside I locked the door and, even though it wasn’t even seven o’clock, climbed into bed and pulled the covers over my head. Wookie usually preferred his own bed but seemed to suspect my thoughts were in a dark place. He climbed into bed with me and pressed his sizable body against mine. I dozed but my head was filled with sticky, quicksand dreams.
When I woke up it was nearly ten. I glanced at my phone and winced. Over a dozen furious texts from Katie demanding an explanation. The last one was a couple hours ago and, after that, she appeared to have given up. I decided to go straight to her house and talk to her in person. I stopped at the store and bought her a bottle of cheap red wine and some chocolate ice cream. When I arrived at Katie’s, Denny’s truck was parked out front.
“Great. Just great,” I muttered.
No doubt he drove right over here to tell Katie all about how I did him wrong with my occult black magic.
Mrs. Cole’s car was gone so I pulled in the driveway behind Denny’s truck. When I climbed out of my car I could hear the heavy bass of some death metal song pounding from inside the house. I went up to the front door and knocked. The music was loud and there was no way they’d hear me even with a jackhammer. They were probably drinking and talking about their mutual disappointment in me. The bell had been broken since I was ten so I didn’t even bother to try it. I stood on tiptoe and ran my fingertips along the top of the doorframe until I found the spare key. When I opened the door, the first thing I saw was Katie’s phone in a docking station blasting out tunes through the speakers. The bass was so loud my teeth vibrated.
“Katie!”
Nobody was in the living room or kitchen. I stuck the ice cream in the freezer, left the wine on the counter and headed down the hall. There were garbled sounds from inside Katie’s room so I opened the bedroom door. Katie was bent over the desk where the two of us used to sit and do homework together. Her skirt was hiked up and Denny was fucking her hard and fast from behind. There was an empty bottle of vodka on the floor. Nobody even noticed me until I flicked on the lights.
There was a quick scramble while they both attempted to right their clothes and called after me but I turned and ran out of the house. A scream caught inside my throat did not release until I was two blocks away. Then I couldn’t stop screaming. Half an hour later I was at home with a bottle of wine. There’d been a second bottle but I’d unscrewed the cap and drank that one on my way home. My phone rang and rang, and eventually stopped ringing because I threw it out the front door and let it be swallowed by the night. Wookie lay in his bed where he watched me with wary, sad eyes.
In the morning even Wookie’s slobber couldn’t rouse me but my own bladder finally did. I flung the door to the trailer wide-open for the dog to go out, then went to use the bathroom myself. I filled Wookie’s bowls and attempted to call him to come back inside but my tongue was thick and cracked dry and my voice was hoarse. The whisper that left my lips came up from the deepest level of my sour gut.
Wookie lumbered back inside and when I went to close the door I spotted my phone facedown near the front tire of my Jeep. I walked out in bare feet, sucking in ice-cold air when a sharp rock bit into the bottom of my foot. The phone was dead and the glass was cracked but it worked once I plugged it in. Texts rolled in from Katie and I ignored them all. None were from Denny. I called the gas station and told them I was too sick to come in. Then I called Gramps.
“I’ve caught a bug so I won’t be coming around,” I told him with a cracked whisper. “I don’t want you to catch what I’ve got.”
I could hear the judgment slick and oily across the line as he offered to come and take care of me. I hung up without a reply, then got in a hot shower and let the slow dribbled water pressure in my cramped stall wash away the shame. After the shower, I loaded Wookie in the Jeep and went to the store for more wine. I bought six bottles and would’ve bought more but didn’t want to make two trips to the car.
Two-hundred-three days ago I’d received the call from Gramps that Grandma was gone. I’d packed up my life in the big city and come back here. I’d left the booze behind. Now it hugged me tight like a long-lost friend, and I sighed back into that embrace, feeling almost grateful.
By midafternoon I was well into my second bottle. Gramps came by with a sack of peanut butter sandwiches. He wordlessly tossed them onto the kitchen table, then snatched my car keys from the counter and stuffed them into the pocket of his jacket.
“Take the dog with you,” I said when he turned to leave. My words were slurred and I didn’t care. “Go, Wookie. Get the hell out of here.”
Gramps opened the door then looked over his shoulder at me.
“You’ve done good since you’ve been back. This is just a small setback. Get it outta your system and then start again.”
He headed out the door then, Wookie happily lumbering along beside him. My head space had been stuck in the quicksand for hours and I’d given in to the pull of thoughts better left buried. I stumbled out the door and onto the steps spoiling for a fight.
“Why didn’t you stop her?” I screamed so hard it burned my throat, and I could feel the veins bulging in my neck. “Why the fuck didn’t you ever try?”
He paused mid-step and I thought for a second he would turn around and give me an answer to that long overdue question, but he just climbed into his old Taurus station wagon with Wookie and was gone.
Eventually the wine I bought was gone and I’d lost track of time. A couple of days might have passed but I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I did not want to get sober and think about Katie, Denny or Agent Pierce. Or Grandma. Even though every cell inside my befuddled, inebriated brain was zeroed in on them. I thought about walking the few miles into town but then I remembered I had the spare keys for Gramps’s Taurus in the kitchen junk drawer. It was a quarter-mile walk to his house from mine but I’d walked much farther for a drink before. The car was parked in the back and I knew I could get to the store and have the car back before Gramps even noticed the car was missing.
I was on my way back from the liquor store when the state trooper pulled me over. He said my grandfather had called the vehicle in as stolen. Fucking bastard! I thought I’d sobered up enough after the brisk walk in the cool air to Gramps’s place but I still blew over the limit on the breathalyzer. After being processed and officially arrested for driving under the influence, I just sat in a cell feeling sorry for myself. This was a new low. I’d always been good about not driving once I’d been drinking. There were a few ways I justified my behavior, and their names bounced around inside my head burning a white-hot searing pain in the pit of my stomach.
Hours later, my mood somewhat assuaged and repentant because the liquor had left my system, I was left feeling hollow and contrite with shame. I was told I was being let out and that someone was waiting for me. I expected Gramps and was prepared with all the apologetic phrases I’d practiced inside my aching head. It wasn’t Gramps. It was Agent Pierce. I took one look at him and wanted to vomit with humiliation.
“I went by your place to talk to you and your grandfather said you...could use some help,” he said.
I looked over his shoulder instead of directly in his face. He turned and headed out the building and I followed him to his car.
“He’s wrong,” I said to his back. “I’m fine. I don’t need help. Don’t get me wrong, though, I appreciate the ri
de.”
Pierce held the passenger door open and waited while I buckled up.
“So this is what happened because you had a fight with your boyfriend? You just implode?” He angrily slammed my door shut then walked around and climbed behind the wheel.
“It’s really none of your goddam business, Agent,” I told him.
My head was a siren but I resented the implication I was a teenager acting out because of some boy. I buckled my seat belt and turned away. My sour breath steamed up the passenger window.
“What the hell were you thinking?” he yelled. “You could’ve killed someone. You could’ve killed yourself.” He shook his head with disgust.
I waited until he was on the highway and then released a heavy sigh.
“You’re right,” I sullenly admitted. “I never drive if I’ve been drinking. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I was thinking about how I just caught my boyfriend fucking my best friend.”
“That’s rough,” he said after a minute. “But no excuse.”
“Yeah, well, it’s partially your fault, you know? You insisted I go out and find that Iris girl’s body. If I hadn’t been out with you, this wouldn’t have happened between me and Denny.”
“I’m not an expert,” he drawled. “But any man who screws your best friend isn’t much of a catch, and any friend who goes along isn’t a friend either. Also, I’m guessing any relationship where the guy makes you deny a part of yourself has got to be doomed anyway.”
His logic stung like acid mostly because it was true. I licked my lips and wished for more wine. Emotion burned my eyes and I bit the inside of my cheeks to keep it from overwhelming me.
“It wasn’t perfect,” I whispered. Then I cleared my throat and added, “But it was mine. Katie and Denny were all I had besides Gramps.”
When we pulled up to my trailer, I climbed out as he reached into the back seat and took out a grocery bag.
“What’s that?”
“I’m making you dinner.”
“Um. No. You are sure as hell not making me anything.” I made shooing motions with my hands. “Thanks for the ride. Now go.”
A Grave Calling Page 7
