Ellie, the sweet sensible one, was first to hold out her hand. “From the way you’re hovering out here, I assume you’re Cash. I’m Ellie, and this is Gigi.”
He shook both their hands. “Kate’s told me a lot about you.”
Ellie stared up at him. “And she’s told us a lot about you, as well.”
He nodded toward her door. “She all right?”
Gigi barged in, her voice hard. “Hell, no she’s not all right. Sh…”
Ellie put a cautionary hand on her arm. “She’s under a lot of stress right now.”
“Hell, Ellie, don’t you think I know that? I was the one who killed that son of a bitch Burgess and rode with her in the ambulance. Stress is not the reason she ordered I not be allowed in her room. Something’s going on, and I want to know what it is.”
“Cash, it’s not our place to speak for Kate…” Ellie began.
“Fuck that. I want to know what’s going on.” He took a step forward as Ellie backed up. He stopped and ran his fingers through his hair. Hell, he hadn’t meant to scare the woman. But this was royally fucked up. Kate was his—he wanted to see her, comfort her, make sure she had whatever she needed to put this shit behind her so they could get on with their lives. But he couldn’t help her if she wouldn’t let him.
“Sorry,” he ground out, calming his tone, trying to be reasonable when all he wanted to do was put a fist through the wall. “Somebody needs to tell me what’s going on, and if Kate won’t, you should. I’d never do anything to hurt her—you girls should know that. And even if she denies it, she needs me. I’ll admit what’s happened between us happened fast. Caught everyone off guard, myself included. But we aren’t kids, and we’ve both been through a hell of a lot. I love her—my daughter loves her—and the two of us aren’t going anywhere.”
Ellie and Gigi shared a meaningful glance. Finally, Ellie held out her hand, and Cash took it. “I won’t go into the details, that’s between Kate and you. But I will tell you she’s facing an old adversary.”
That was all she said. It was enough. Cash felt the room spin and the floor drop from beneath his feet. His gut twisted in a knot, and stone-cold fear crept through his veins.
The cancer was back.
God in heaven!
That had to be why she was pushing him away. She loved him. She wanted to protect him, spare him—him and Suzanna. The depth of her feelings for them was at the root of her refusal to see him. If he let her, she’d bear another bout with cancer alone, to spare him and Suzanna any heartache that could possibly come their way.
“I won’t let her do this,” he said to her friends. “If it happens to her, it happens to me. So for us, the challenge is cancer. For others, it’ll be something else. Life is hard. Harder when you walk the road alone. And Suzanna and I can see her through this.”
Ellie nodded, and Gigi added, “You need to give her some time, Cash. She has her own ideas about what she wants to do this time. Ellie and I don’t agree, but it isn’t our decision to make. And it isn’t yours.”
“She’s stubborn, I know. But you’re right—she probably could use a little time to herself. But, just so you know, I’m in this for the long haul. Nothing will stop me. Nothing will tear me from her side.”
Gigi and Ellie smiled. “Kate was right, you are a keeper. Take care of our girl.”
“As soon as she lets me, I will.”
He wanted to talk to her doctor.
A quick stop by the nurses’ station, and he headed to oncology.
Dr. Carlson wasn’t unsympathetic, but not very forthcoming. “HIPPA laws don’t permit me to give you any information, Mr. Montgomery. Kate is a special lady—I’m fond of her. I want what’s best for her, and my instincts tell me you feel the same.”
“I’m in love with her; I want to marry her if she’ll have me,” Cash interrupted.
“All the more reason to respect her wishes.”
“Nothing I’d like better, Doc. But she won’t even see me. Kinda hard to talk to her when she won’t let me in her room.”
“And you’re a man who is accustomed to getting things done and having your way.” Dr. Carlson held his gaze and hesitated before she relented. “I see your point. I know Kate, and under the circumstances, I prescribe a personal visit. Ban lifted, Mr. Montgomery. Go get your girl. But if she asks? This meeting never happened.”
“Understood.” Cash turned on his heel and headed for the elevators. Thank heaven. She’d probably be mad, but what the hell? She needed him—even if she was too stubborn to know it.
Kate was asleep when he pushed open the heavy hospital door. Her back to him, the outline of her sweet body made his blood run south. No other woman since Ray had affected him this way. He wanted to roll her over and bury himself in her tight, wet depths until she admitted she wanted him there forever. On the other hand, he wanted to take care of her, wipe away her fears, fight her dragons. Hell, he’d take the cancer for her, if it were possible. So they hadn’t known each other long; she was it for him. The one woman for him—the one woman he wanted. He wouldn’t lose her now. And, by God, he’d fight for her.
Treading carefully, he quietly approached her bed and stared down at her. So damn beautiful. So sweet. So incredibly undeserving of the horrendous toll this disease had taken. She may want to go through this alone, but he wouldn’t allow it. He was a man, her man, and he was strong. Strong enough to bear her burdens, Suzanna’s burdens, and his own. Suddenly, he understood why he’d been spared on that hot, sandy field of battle. Understood his purpose, his destiny. For Suzanna. For Kate.
Her eyes blinked open. Incredible eyes. Beautiful, but full of pain.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“You aren’t supposed to be in here.”
“Lady, you’re not getting away from me. No one keeps me away from my woman.”
She rolled over, her eyes still clouded with sleep. “Cash…”
“Shh. You don’t have to explain.” He grabbed the chair, positioned it next to the bed, and straddled it. “Ellie and Gigi wouldn’t tell me anything, so I went to Dr. Carlson. HIPPA prevented her from revealing the nature of your illness.” He took her hand in his and kissed each soft finger. “Kate, I’m no idiot. She’s an oncologist… The cancer’s back, isn’t it?”
Kate nodded, her eyes welling with tears.
Cash smoothed them away with the back of his fingers and cupped her damp cheek. “Same breast?” he asked quietly.
She shook her head. More tears. Then she croaked, “They’re doing a biopsy this afternoon.”
“Okay. Once that’s done, we’ll know what we’re up against. I have to pick Suzanna up at the airport in an hour, or I’d stay with you through the procedure. But as soon as I get her settled, I’ll be back. Will you be released today?”
“No, and I don’t want you hanging around the hospital. You take Suzanna home and stay. She hasn’t seen you in weeks. She’ll want to spend some time with her dad.”
“No can do, sweetheart. Suzanna will understand.” Cash smoothed the hair from her face and brushed his lips against hers. “You’re my priority right now.”
“No…I can’t allow it. You know I love you. You saved my life in more ways than one, not just from Clark. But I can’t put you in this position again. It kills me to think about you and Suzanna taking me into your hearts knowing I might break them. I don’t know what the future holds, and I can’t ask you to share it before I know.”
“Nobody knows what the future holds,” he argued.
“Stop arguing with me and think. Do you really want to invest your love and chance your daughter’s wellbeing with someone who may or may not beat this thing? Do you really want to take that kind of chance? I can’t be what you need. At least, not right now. Maybe, someday—if I get a clean bill of health.” He began to shake his head, but she cupped his face and drew his eyes to hers. “You know I’m right, Cash. You and I—we could face the outcome, good or bad. We’re grownups. We’ve stared death in the
face before. But not Suzanna. Hear me out. Dr. Carlson is making arrangements for me to go to Texas.”
“Texas? What the hell?” He shot back in the chair.
“The M.D. Anderson Cancer Treatment Center in Houston. It’s one of the best hospitals in the nation for cancer treatment. If the biopsy indicates a small tumor, as Dr. Carlson expects, there’s a treatment available that would take care of the cancer without chemo, and anything that helps me avoid chemo is a consideration. I’m going as soon as the results of the test are available, probably in a few days.”
“I’m going with you.”
“No, you’re not,” Kate objected. “You’re going to do just as I ask because you love me and respect my wishes. I’m not shutting you out, Cash, although I admit my first inclination was to leave without saying anything to you. I’ll keep in touch, text, call. I’ll tell you everything the doctors tell me. If the treatment goes well, I’ll come home, and we’ll talk about our next step.”
“Nothing to talk about.” He leaned in.
“Don’t.” She placed her fingertips against his mouth. “Just don’t. One day at a time. As cliché as it sounds, I love you more today than yesterday.” She attempted a smile. “My feelings haven’t changed. But of necessity, the circumstances of our relationship have. We have some time. Just think about what I’ve said, and we’ll talk. Now, go get your daughter. Buy her an ice cream, and tell her I’ll call her.”
“Suzanna can handle more than you think,” he told her.
“I know. But she shouldn’t have to.”
Cash stood gazing down at Kate, then leaned down, a strong arm on each side of her. “This discussion isn’t over.”
“Yeah, Cash, it is.”
“Is this what life is going to be like from now on?” he asked, his mouth curving up into the smile she loved so much. “With you always having to have the last word?”
She didn’t say anything, and he was having none of it. He decided to show her instead.
Cash slanted his mouth on hers, pouring everything he wanted to say, and everything he wanted her to hear, into the hot, wet rasp of his tongue. And he kept at it until he felt her surrender, until they were both breathless, until he was ready to combust.
“I’ll be back later,” he said, a scant inch from her swollen lips. “That’s a promise.”
Then he pivoted and left to meet Suzanna’s flight, vowing to do whatever necessary to keep Kate in their life.
As he left the room, Ellie and Gigi stepped in behind him. Those women were exceptional friends. Caring, loyal. Kate was fortunate to have them. He nodded their way, and rode the elevator to the parking level. As usual, he was running late.
As he hailed a cab, a light drizzle began to fall, and it seemed as if the entire world was headed to the airport along with him. He asked the driver to get as close to the gate as he could, Cash was grateful a steward would escort Suzanna as an unaccompanied minor.
Suzanna and the attendant were waiting for him. He pulled out his ID and handed it to the steward. While the TSA agent carefully examined Cash’s driver’s license, Suzanna came running to him and threw her arms around his waist.
“Daddy, I missed you so much. Gram and I watched the news at noon. They had a report on Kate and the guy who was after her. Is she hurt? Can I see her?”
Cash kissed the top of her head, retrieved his license, and mumbled his thanks. Herding Suzanna toward baggage claim, he grinned as her questions came one after the other in typical Suzanna form. God, he’d missed her—loved her—was so damn glad she was back.
They grabbed her suitcase, and he guided her to the cab stand. Once they were on their way, his daughter stared him solemnly in the face. “Okay—what’s the story? How’s Kate?”
Cash took a deep breath and let it out before turning to face her.
As she waited patiently for him to spill, her eyes grew wide. “She’s not okay, is she? I want to know everything. I’m not a baby any more, Dad. Whatever it is, I can take it.”
But could she? Cash wondered where to begin. Suzanna was aware he had strong feelings for Kate, that he wanted them to be a family, and that things were complicated. As she waited patiently, the maturity of her questions and her expression surprised Cash. She was growing up fast, and into a caring, intuitive young woman.
Before he could explain the Burgess affair and Kate’s medical issues, she stopped him.
“It’s back, isn’t it? The cancer, I mean. And Kate wants to spare us the hurt.” Suzanna had been thinking. Showing that Kate, at least in part, was right. “You’re not going to let her run away, are you? If you love her, you’re going to make sure she knows we’re all in this together.”
Intuitive being the operative word. “Munchkin, Kate wants you to have the childhood you deserve. She doesn’t know what to expect, and wants to spare you…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” She raised her hand in the air, effectively stopping him. “But that’s just it. I’m almost twelve, Dad. My childhood is pretty much done. You love her. I love her. She loves you. None of that is going to change no matter what the cancer has to say about it. I’ll bet she’s scared.”
“She is. Scared, and trying her best to consider all of us.”
“In other words, she’s planning on cutting us out of her life? She doesn’t want to hurt us?” she asked.
“When did you get to be so smart? Yeah, she wants to protect us. You, especially.” he said.
“Then I should be the one to talk to her. Convince her we want her to be a part of our family—no matter what happens.”
“Who are you, and what did you do with my daughter these last few weeks?” Cash was only partially joking.
“Gram and I had a lot of time to talk. I thought she might not like the idea of someone stepping into Mom’s place. You know, be jealous or something. So I told her all about Kate. How neat she is, and how much happier you are since she came into our lives. About her job, and how she helps the kids of wounded vets get money for school so they can take care of themselves. And how much I care about her.”
“What did your Gram say?”
“That Kate sounded like a special woman, and she was glad you’d found someone to love again. That Mom would have wanted someone like Kate for us, and if we loved her, she would love her, too.”
Suzanna grinned as Cash blew out the breath he’d been unconsciously holding.
“Dad, you need to take me to the hospital. I think I need to be the one who talks to Kate.”
“Maybe so, munchkin. Maybe so. But don’t be disappointed if Kate doesn’t change her plans. She’s still reeling from what happened with Burgess, and now another lump.”
“They’re sure it’s malignant?” she asked.
Cash threw her a questioning glance.
Suzanna shook her head disgustedly. “I do know how to use a computer, Dad. I googled breast cancer a long time ago. Mom and all. I wanted to know what happened to her.”
Cash took a hank of her hair and tugged. “Of course you did, and tonight, if we don’t get home too late, we’re going to go online and see what other information we can pull up about her cancer and treatments.”
The taxi let them off at the entrance to the hospital. The closer he got to the elevator, the harder his heart pounded.
Suzanna didn’t make small talk as they rode the elevator to Kate’s floor. He watched and could tell his daughter was rehearsing the case she wanted to present, and gearing up for the challenge. Kate would listen, whether or not it would make a difference was an entirely different matter.
He nodded toward Kate’s room and stood just outside as Suzanna knocked.
He hadn’t prayed in a very long time. The faith he’d had as a child had been trampled with the first man he killed as a Ranger. He did his duty to the best of his ability, but taking a human life changed a man. Now, as his daughter tried to persuade Kate not to push them away, he searched for words to plead for God’s help.
That he wouldn’t lose anothe
r woman he loved to cancer. That he and Suzanna would have a chance at happiness again. That, somehow, everything would turn out all right—for her. For him and his daughter.
That this vibrant, loving, awesome woman would be spared.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kate lay on her side. The sting from the biopsy made her really uncomfortable.
Just the beginning.
Someone knocked twice, and Suzanna poked her head around the heavy door. “Kate? May I come in?”
“Come in, you pretty thing,” she exclaimed and patted the bed beside her.
Ellie and Gigi glanced up, saw who it was, and each kissed Kate’s cheek. “We’ll check in on you tomorrow. Don’t worry about a thing. You need us—you call.”
The girls greeted Suzanna as they left with one last glance at their friend.
“Come here, baby. Gosh, you look like you grew two inches while you were gone. I love your outfit.”
“Yeah, Gram bought me some clothes. I kept telling her you and I would shop closer to school starting, but she wanted to take me, so I let her.”
“Did you enjoy your visit with your gram?” she asked as she brushed a strand of Suzanna’s hair behind her ear.
“Yeah, I did. I don’t see her as often as I’d like, but I feel close to her. We talked a lot these past two weeks. It was good to be with someone who knew my mom, how she was. You know, not how she looked, but the kind of person she was, how she thought, what she would have wanted for me if she’d still be alive. My mom was a lot like you, Kate. Kind, funny, sweet. Gram said you guys would have been friends if you’d met.”
Kate settled deeper in her bed as she listened, not wanting to spoil the mood. Suzanna had something to say, but she looked nervous.
“It’s okay, baby.” She smiled. “You can tell me anything.”
“We talked about life, and how it’s sometimes not fair. About love, and how when it comes, you have to hold tight ’cause you never know what tomorrow brings.”
A Little Night Music Page 23
