André flopped on his back next to Nysys. He looked at the ceiling, trying to decide whether this was a good idea, but Nysys and Dom were the only people who knew who Nicky was. André wasn’t about to take Dom away from his job to talk about relationship problems, even though Dom ought to spend less time in his office and more time locked in his room with his mate.
“He’s just so stubborn,” he finally said. “He’s so lonely, and he’s convinced that’s what he deserves. He thinks that as soon as he steps into the house, everyone will hate him and try to kick him out.”
Nysys hummed. “But the challenge was legal. I mean, he was an asshole for challenging Dominic for being gay, and he said some stuff he shouldn’t have, but it’s been a year. He really thinks we’re going to hate him?”
“Yeah. He lost everything after the challenge, and he got used to being alone. He’s scared of rejection, so he’d rather not even try.”
“And what did you tell him?”
“I told him about Morin, and John, and all the others. No one hates them, so why should they hate Nicky for something that wasn’t even that bad?”
André knew he shouldn’t talk about Nicky, not without his permission, but he needed to. He needed help to try and find a solution. Even if he and Nicky never mated, Nicky shouldn’t be alone. No one should.
“Want me to talk to him?” Nysys asked. “I wasn’t very nice the other night. I should apologize.”
André thought about it. He knew Nysys would probably talk to Nicky no matter what André said, but he wasn’t sure it was a good idea. “I don’t know. I think we should leave him alone for today. I talked to him, but I’m not sure I got through. I can’t force him to come here and make friends, and I don’t think you talking to him will help either. He needs to understand he didn’t do anything wrong and to stop blaming himself.”
“And if he can’t?”
André shrugged. He didn’t know what he’d do then. He and Nicky needed to talk, and not only about this. He’d told Nicky he couldn’t stay at the mansion forever, and that was true. As much as he loved spending time there and tried to come back as often as he could, especially recently, he couldn’t move in. His job meant traveling, and his office was in New York.
“Can I ask you something?”
Nysys lay down beside him on his side and looked down at him. “Sure.”
“Do you think you could shimmer me to New York?”
Nysys arched a brow. “Now?”
“No. I just, well, you know my office is there, but Nicky’s here, and I don’t know if he’ll want to travel with me. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of man who would accept me paying for everything, even though I’m rich.”
“So what, you want to move here and me to shimmer you to work every morning?”
“Kinda. I don’t go to the office every day, only when I need to. It would mean seeing Nicky more.”
Nysys patted André’s stomach. “Of course, Boo. You only have to ask, you know that. And who knows, maybe you’ll manage to talk Nicky into traveling around the world with you.”
André snorted softly. “I can try, I guess, but I’m not holding my breath.”
“Now come on. You’re not going to work on a Sunday, and I won’t leave you in here to pout. You can help me and Keenan with the stuff for the party.”
“What kind of party is it anyway?”
André didn’t feel like dancing. Drinking, he’d be up for, but not dancing.
“It’s not really a party. Me and Keenan are going to cook for everyone, then we’ll watch a movie or play games. We just wanted to see our friends, you know? Everyone is always so busy, and when they’re not, they’re usually holed up with their mates. Not that that’s not fun, but it doesn’t help being sociable.”
André sighed as Nysys got up and held out a hand to him. Great. So everyone would be paired up. Everyone but him. He should have known, and he thought about telling Nysys he wouldn’t come, but Nysys was right. Even though they all lived together, they had a hard time finding time for each other. André wanted to talk with Nysys and Keenan, with Blair and Delevan. He knew not everyone was lovey dovey as a couple, so he probably wouldn’t stand out too much. He’d just have to stay away from the couples who were attached at the hip.
Nysys hauled André up. “So what do you need me to do?” André asked, wondering if Nysys would make anything explode. Keenan was helping with the cooking, so probably not, but still.
“You can help in the kitchen for now.”
André groaned. Maybe he should stay in his room after all.
* * * *
Nicky looked at the gate in front of him and fought the urge to turn around and leave. He wanted nothing more than to go back to his apartment, but he’d already spent the entire day there, on his own, and his jaguar was angry with him. They could have been with their mate, and instead, they’d been alone.
Nicky was surprised at how much he’d missed André. André was his mate, of course, but they hadn’t known each other for long. Yet it seemed to Nicky he was even lonelier than before, and he’d never thought that was possible.
He was used to loneliness, and he hadn’t had too much of a problem with it, until now. Now being lonely sounded like a punishment. Maybe André was right and Nicky needed to forgive himself. Nicky wasn’t sure he could, at least not easily, but he was willing to try, and this was the first step.
He straightened and pressed the intercom button before he could chicken out and leave. He couldn’t help but eye the road as he waited, but the wait was too brief for him to run away.
“Yes?” a crackling voice said.
“I’m here to see André Bernard Frost.”
“Who wants him?”
Nicky swallowed. Should he give his full name and risk to be left out there? He could call André if he was, but still. “Nicky.”
“Just Nicky?”
“Yes. He knows who I am.”
“Great. Wait a sec.”
The crackling sound stopped and Nicky was alone once again. He fidgeted and tried to stop himself when he realized it, but he was too nervous. How the fuck had he managed to be an alpha for an entire year? He was pretty sure everyone had known he sucked at it back then, yet they hadn’t said anything. They’d obviously thought it, though, or they wouldn’t have been so quick to leave him in Dominic’s hands.
The intercom crackled again and Nicky held his breath. Would André want to see him? He knew he’d taken a risk by coming without calling first, but André had told him he could come.
The gate started opening as the man on the intercom said, “Welcome to the mansion, man. André will be waiting for you at the front door.”
The gate moved silently. Nicky hadn’t thought to tell the man he was on foot rather than in a car, so the big gate was opening rather than the small one to the side of it. He hurried through it and toward the front door.
It swung open when he was halfway there. Nicky couldn’t see who had opened it, since the man was illuminated from behind, but he recognized the curls on top of the man’s head.
His stomach flip-flopped and he swallowed again. There was no going back now, and he tightened his hand around the bottle of wine he’d brought. He didn’t know if it was good, or even if they’d accept it, but he felt better bringing something, since he’d been invited.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” André said when Nicky reached the steps that led to the door.
“I didn’t either.”
André smiled as he stepped to the side to let Nicky in. “Well, it’s good that you managed to surprise both of us.”
Nicky walked in. The house smelled of garlic and basil, and he wondered if he’d get to eat whatever was cooking. He hadn’t eaten before leaving his apartment. He’d been too nervous, but now that he’d seen André and André seemed happy to see him, he was relaxing, and his stomach was letting itself known.
He handed the bottle to Andr�
� and took his jacket off. André pointed at the hooks lining the wall and Nicky put his jacket there. Then he hovered awkwardly until André stepped forward and kissed him gently. “It’s good to see you,” he whispered against Nicky’s lips.
“It’s good to be here.” And it was, mostly thanks to André’s presence. Nicky didn’t know how everyone else would react to his presence, but André was glad to see him, and that was the most important thing. Everything else came after.
“Come on, everyone’s in the kitchen.”
André started to walk away, but Nicky grabbed his arm and pulled him closer for another kiss. André grinned at him when the kiss ended. “I’m glad to see you too.”
“Is there... who’s there?” Nicky asked. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to eat if Dominic Nash was sitting on the other side of the table, even though the man had told him he was welcome.
“Keenan, Nysys, Blair, Adan, and their mates, and me and you.”
Nicky breathed out. He’d expected more people, but the only names he recognized were Keenan and Nysys. Dominic wouldn’t be there.
He followed André toward a door to the left of the entrance. André entered a hallway and stopped in front of an arch. “Delevan is Dominic’s son, just so you know,” he said, watching Nicky.
Suddenly Nicky wanted to leave, but the look on André’s face made him stay. André wanted him there, and being on friendly terms with his friends would make their relationship easier.
Nicky nodded at André and André smiled. He took Nicky’s hand and dragged him into the kitchen. There was a lot of noise—silverware scraping against ceramic, glass against wood, people talking, but when Nicky walked in, it all disappeared.
Everyone looked at him, and he couldn’t say whether it was just in surprise or something else. He tensed, ready to leave if he was asked to. Nysys put down the towel he was drying his hand on and came closer. Nicky raised his chin and looked down at Nysys, expecting him to tell him he wasn’t welcome, but instead, Nysys hugged him.
Nicky blinked and looked at André, unsure of what to do. André chuckled, and Nysys said, “You’re supposed to hug me back. That’s how it works,” from Nicky’s chest.
Nicky awkwardly put his arms around Nysys and patted his shoulder. He looked at André again, trying to ask for help with his eyes, but André was already putting the wine on the counter and talking with Keenan, who was looking at Nicky with a small frown on his face.
Nysys finally released Nicky and looked at him. “You have to work on your hugs.”
“Huh? I will.”
Nysys patted Nicky’s chest. “Good. I’m glad you’re here.”
“You are?”
“Yup.”
“You seemed to hate me last time.”
“Like I told André, I’m an equal opportunity person. I’ll give anyone a second chance, and this is yours. Don’t fuck it up.”
“I won’t.”
“Good.”
Nysys went back to the stove, leaving Nicky standing alone in the kitchen entrance. He decided hovering there would only make people look at him more, so he walked toward André, who was still talking with Keenan. The frown on Keenan’s face was gone, and when Nicky got there, he smiled at him.
“I’m glad to see you’re fine. I wondered, sometimes,” he said.
Nicky nodded. “Thank you for what you did for me. I hope me being here isn’t a problem.”
“Why would it be? You’re André’s boyfriend.”
Nicky arched a brow at André, who shrugged and said. “I didn’t think you’d want people to know you’re my mate.”
The spoon Keenan had been holding clattered on the floor, and the next thing Nicky knew, he was dragged into a group hug with Keenan and André, with Keenan yelling next to his ear, “I knew it! I knew André was hiding something.”
André pulled back, laughing. “Apart from my boyfriend’s identity?”
“It seemed strange that you were going out with a shifter without being his mate. I mean, it’s possible, of course, but it doesn’t happen that often. So, are you two already mated? Are you going to live together now that it’s not a secret anymore? Does that mean you’re going to move in the mansion, Nicky? André’s room isn’t very big, but I’m sure he won’t mind sharing it with you.” Keenan wiggled his eyebrows. “If you know what I mean.”
Nicky looked at André. He didn’t know how to answer those questions, because they hadn’t talked about it yet. Nicky hadn’t thought he’d be welcome in the mansion for a meal, let alone moving in, but Keenan didn’t seem to care about what Nicky had done in the past, and neither did anyone else in the room.
“We haven’t talked about it yet,” André said. “We’ve only been dating for a short time.”
“Dating? Aww, that’s so cute. Reminds me of my brother. Come on, go sit with the other guys, Nicky. Me, André and Nysys will finish up here.”
Keenan pushed away Nicky and Nicky found himself standing in front of the crowded table. He hesitated for a moment, especially when he caught sight of a man who had to be Dominic’s son. He was blond and looked just like the alpha.
The man looked at him, and he was the first to stand up and offer Nicky his hand. “Hi, I’m Delevan, and this is my mate, Blair.”
He gestured at the man sitting next to him, and Nicky felt himself relax as no one said anything about what he’d done in the past.
Chapter Four
They all went to the living room after dinner to watch the latest superhero movie. While everyone had been mixed up at dinner, now the couples sat together to cuddle and kiss as they watched the screen.
André had sat on the side of one of the couches, leaving enough space for Nicky to sit at the very end of it so he wouldn’t have to be too close to anyone else. Nicky had seemed to be doing well during dinner, but André wanted to be sure and to avoid making him uncomfortable.
Nysys was on André’s other side, but he was too busy groping Morin to pay attention to what André and Nicky did. André leaned closer to Nicky’s side, and to his surprise, Nicky wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him even closer against his side.
André put his cheek on Nicky’s shoulder and looked up at him. “How are you feeling?”
Nicky kept his gaze on the TV when he answered, but André could see he wasn’t as tense as he’d been when he’d arrived earlier. “I’m fine.”
“You seemed to enjoy talking with my friends.”
“I did.”
“Even with Delevan?”
Nicky’s gaze flitted to Delevan, who was on the floor, his head pillowed in Blair’s lap. “He’s a nice guy.”
“Has he said anything about what happened with Dom?”
“No. I’m not sure he knows, though. Maybe if he did he wouldn’t have been so nice.”
André swatted Nicky’s thigh. “Shut up. He knows.”
Nicky finally looked down at André. “He does?”
“Yeah. He already lived here when it happened. I’m not sure if he was at the challenge, but I know he knows. Dom talked to him about you staying here back then.”
“Doesn’t mean he knows I’m me.”
André rolled his eyes and looked at Delevan. “Hey, Del.”
Nicky hissed and tried to put his hand on André’s mouth, but it was too late, and Delevan turned to look at him. “Yeah?”
“You know who Nicky is, right?”
Delevan scrunched his nose. “Huh, your mate?”
“And?”
“I’m not sure how you want me to answer.”
“Just the truth.”
“Well, he was an alpha, and now he’s a barman, right?”
“Why is he a barman now?”
“Because his pride left him here after he lost the challenge against Dad.”
André looked at Nicky again. “See? He knows.”
“Oh, that’s why you were asking?” Delevan said. “Yeah, I know what happened
between you and Dad,” He told Nicky. “Why? Is it a problem?”
Nicky shook his head. “Nope. No problem at all.”
“You’re sure? Because I don’t care about that stuff. Dad explained what happened, and he doesn’t have anything against you, so why should I?”
“Because I attacked him.”
“It’s not like you did it out of the blue or anything. I might not know everything there is to know about shifters yet, but I do know how challenges work. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He looked at Blair. “Right? Or am I missing something?”
Blair leaned down to kiss Delevan’s forehead. “Nope, you didn’t miss anything.”
“Can you all shut up? I’m trying to watch a movie,” Nysys grumbled.
André looked at him. “Really? And here I thought you were trying to suck Morin’s tonsils out.”
Nysys scowled. “I wasn’t. He doesn’t have them anymore, so I can’t suck them out.”
“You seemed to enjoy trying, though.”
“Yeah, okay, but now I want to look at the sexy men on TV.”
“You don’t need to hear them to do that.”
“Shut up and make out with your mate.”
André snorted, but he did stop talking to Nysys. He could still talk to Nicky without disturbing Nysys too much, though. “See?” he said, leaning closer to Nicky. “I told you no one cared.”
Nicky slowly nodded. “It’s hard to believe, but yeah, I see.”
“No one holds anything against you.” André hoped seeing Delevan and the others welcome him so openly would help Nicky get over his guilt and his self-hatred. André understood where it came from, and he knew it would take more than a dinner for Nicky to let it go, but Nicky couldn’t continue spending his life like a hermit.
“I’m beginning to believe that.”
“Jeesh, guys,” Nysys said. “Get a grip, will you? You’re starting to sound mushy.”
André wasn’t sure whether he was talking to him and Nicky or to the guys on TV, but before he could ask, Nicky leaned forward and asked, “Around your neck?”
André Page 6
