by Ellie Danes
So, I turned to the man closest to me. “I like to play a little pool for money, maybe some cards. Blow off steam, you know? And it doesn’t hurt if I can earn back some of what I lost last week.”
The customer did not smile at my self-deprecation. “Lot of people are hard up these days,” he said.
“Hard up? I’m not hard up,” I laughed too loud. “I’m just ready for the next big thing.”
He tried not to look as I dug into my boot and pulled out a bigger bill.
“See?” I called. “I’ve got a fifty here that says I can break better than any man in the bar.”
“I don’t play pool,” the man said.
“Whatever you want then,” I said. “This little nest egg is all I’ve got but I know it’s lucky. You like poker?”
The man moved away under the pretense of using the bathroom, but he just shifted to the other side of the bar.
I glanced around and saw that my loud talk had done the trick. A group of shifty-looking men were convening near the door and one kept nodding toward me. A phone call was made and I had a feeling my plan had worked.
I had a bad feeling that I was about to come face to face with the New Mexico City Cartel.
Chapter Sixty
Bree
Maggie found a new hat in the gift shop and nagged me to buy it as if I was really her mother. I gave in and she squealed with delight.
“What a nice mother you have,” the clerk said as he clipped off the tag for Maggie.
The little girl giggled and happily plopped the hat on her head. She twirled around in it as I bought her a few magazines and some candy for the long bus ride.
Once we were outside, I caught her arm and pulled her close. “Save the hat for on the bus. It’s better for us to look as if we have nothing to hide. Remember?”
Maggie nodded, her smile disappearing.
I was torn. The little girl had been through so much and every small smile felt like a victory over her traumatic experience. Then I remembered that Maggie was not the only child being used as a drug mule by the cartel.
If I could pose as a convincing mother, perhaps I could help Nathan get more of the children back to the US without stirring up the entire force of the cartel.
“Ready to go?” I held out my hand to Maggie.
She took it and skipped the few blocks to the Greyhound bus station. “Is it a really long ride?”
I held out the bag of treats and magazines. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. There’s even a pad of paper and some colored pencils if you get bored.”
Maggie took the bag with another happy squeal. “Thanks!”
While she rooted around and tried some of the candy, I checked the bus schedule. There was a bus leaving for Santa Fe. From there, all she had to do was transfer to the bus heading to Denver, Colorado and there was a stop in Springer, New Mexico.
I bought her a ticket, and we wandered the entire bus station until the crowd thinned out. There was still about an hour before her bus left, and I didn’t like feeling so exposed in the empty station.
“How about some dinner?” I asked.
Maggie hopped up and down. “Cheeseburgers?”
I laughed but my stomach knotted at the thought of how many simple pleasures the little girl had been denied over the past month. “I love cheeseburgers,” I said.
We strolled hand in hand to the fast food restaurant on the corner, and I ordered Maggie a full cheeseburger meal. She grabbed the bag from me with a grin but then looked at the tight, windowless seating area.
“Can we eat outside?” she asked.
I tried to ignore the ashen pallor of her face. Something about the cold concrete and confining feel of the restaurant had robbed Maggie of her sunny disposition.
“As long as we can find a spot in the shade,” I said. “I don’t want you getting sunburned. That would make for a very uncomfortable bus ride.”
“Ugh, you’re such a mom,” Maggie said.
I laughed at that comment but the little girl had hit a cord deep inside me. As we wandered across the street looking for a bench in the shade, I wondered what it would be like to be a mother.
Then I remembered the hollow pain in Mrs. Wheeler’s eyes, and my heart seized up. How could anyone risk such grief?
The same way I was ready to risk everything to be with Nathan.
Maggie found a bench outside a garish tourist trap and tore into her paper bag. She devoured the first cheeseburger while humming a happy little tune. Then she drenched her french fries in ketchup and proceeded to make a sticky mess of herself.
I waited until she was done and then attacked her messy face with a napkin soaked in water. “So, I’m guessing you enjoyed your dinner,” I joked.
Maggie grinned but then her young face turned serious. “You didn’t hardly touch your food.”
“That’s because you ate all my french fries,” I pointed out.
Maggie pulled back from my vigorous napkin wiping and shook her head. “Are you too sad to eat?”
I sighed. “Why would I be sad? You’re safe and heading home. That’s the best news I’ve heard in weeks.”
“You’re not coming with me, are you?” Maggie’s thin shoulders slumped.
I tipped her chin up and looked into her large eyes. “I’m going to make sure you’re safe. Don’t worry about that.”
Maggie nodded. “And then you’re going to make sure he’s safe?”
“Nathan?” I laughed at the idea but nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m going to try to do.”
“I wish you wouldn’t. There are bad men everywhere,” Maggie said.
I took both her hands and squeezed them tight. “But there are good people everywhere, too. You have to remember that, Maggie.”
“Good people like Nathan.” Maggie nodded and squared her shoulders. “And you.”
“Thanks. I’m glad I made the list,” I said.
I reached out with the napkin and started to tickle Maggie under her chin. She giggled and tried to swat the napkin away. We laughed and wrestled on the bench until I saw a police officer walking in our direction.
All he did was smile and tip his hat as he passed by.
Both Maggie and I watched him go. It would have been so easy to call him back. If I told him what had happened to Maggie, would he have believed me? Would he have helped her get back to her mother?
I had to believe it. I wanted Maggie to believe there were good people everywhere.
The only reason I stopped myself from jumping up and calling the police officer back was that he would ask too many questions. There would be so many things I couldn’t explain about myself and about Nathan.
I didn’t even have a real name anymore.
The realization hit me like a tsunami: without Nathan, I was nothing at all. I didn’t even have my old identity as a naive waitress to fall back on.
In truth, I was more of a liability for Maggie than a help. Sure, I’d be a comfort to her on the long bus ride, but what if someone asked to see my ID? We’d have the authorities waiting for us with those millions of questions I couldn’t even begin to answer.
“Is it time to go?” Maggie asked. Her chest still heaved from all the giggling but her face had turned serious again.
“Are you scared?” I asked her.
Maggie tipped her head from side to side while she thought about it. “Scared of being on the bus by myself?”
“It’s a long way to go and you have to transfer to another bus. The driver will help you, but you’ll have to look out for yourself,” I said.
If she couldn’t handle it, my decision would have been made for me. I couldn’t leave Maggie to suffer any more than she already had.
Maggie shrugged. “I used to take the bus to school every day. This is the same, just longer.”
I smoothed down her braid and smiled. “You are the bravest girl I’ve ever met, Maggie Wheeler. If anyone can handle a bus trip, it’s you.”
We headed back to the bus station
where I made Maggie use the bathroom before she boarded. While she went, I stepped over to a kiosk and bought a burner cell phone.
Maggie’s eyes opened wide when she saw what I had for her. “A real cell phone?” she gasped.
I nodded. “It’s not much but you’ll be able to call your mother. And I think there are a few games on it so you have something to do if you get bored.”
“And I can call for help if anything happens,” Maggie said.
My stomach twisted up in knots. “I shouldn’t do this. I should come with you.”
Maggie shook her head. “I’ll be safe on the bus. Nathan is the one who needs help.”
I blinked back tears as I walked Maggie to her bus. The little girl gave me a fierce hug, and I almost couldn’t let go. The tears streamed down my face as I thought about buying a ticket to join her.
The bus driver took one look at my tear-streaked face and clambered down the bus steps. “Now, don’t you worry, Mama. Your little girl can sit right next to me. We’ll keep an eye on each other the entire way.”
I babbled about the bus transfer and making the stop in Springer, New Mexico. The driver, a large woman with a hearty voice and wide smile, just nodded and patted my arm.
“Is she too young? I should go get a ticket, too, shouldn’t I?” I said.
“Mom,” Maggie groaned. “I’ll be fine.”
Despite all the reassurances, I stood at the curb and wrung my hands until the bus doors closed. As the bus pulled out of the station, I caught a glimpse of Maggie singing a song with the driver.
She would be fine. And I would check on her, harassing the bus authority until they radioed the driver and assured me that Maggie had indeed made it to Springer, New Mexico.
With one final wave to the departing bus, I turned and stared back over the border. There was only one thing left to do.
Chapter Sixty-One
Nathan
I nursed my beer and my disappointment as the suspicious knot of men dispersed. It could take weeks for me to catch the attention of the cartel, and the thought was excruciating.
How long before Bree’s trail went cold, and I never saw her again?
I slumped at the bar and fell into the rhythm of it. All the regulars shifted when a new song came on the jukebox. Heads turned when the door opened. Everyone looked down, gauging their drinks when someone ordered another round.
The door opened and I glanced up with the rest. Except this time, I noticed that everyone’s glances ricocheted off the man quickly. Suddenly pocket change, old receipts, and the ceiling were more interesting. I watched him a few more beats, then looked back at my dwindling beer.
The man nodded at someone behind me and marched across the bar, not even acknowledging the bartender. He shook hands with his friend and then there was a secondary exchange. From over my shoulder, all I could see was the movement but it confirmed my suspicions.
After unfolding a tight wad of cash, the man approached the bar and ordered a whiskey. He paid in cash and left a generous tip. The bartender served him with tight lips and a curt nod. It was all professional curtesy and no warmth.
He was a drug dealer.
I slumped down further over my last sips of beer. If this was a drug dealer and closely connected with the cartel, there was a chance he had seen me before. Drug dealers had notoriously good memories for faces, and no amount of red hair dye or hats would confuse him.
I stared into the shallow swirls of my beer and tried to remember. The missing memories were there, like fish under the surface, and I shook my head, trying to drive them up to the light.
I couldn’t remember if he and I had met before. The frustration of it burned in my chest. As a SEAL, I had to recall target faces with 100% accuracy. I could still see every detail of hundreds of faces, both good and bad, but I couldn’t recall if this mid-level drug dealer had ever seen me before.
It was so distracting that I almost blew my cover by pulling a big bill out of my boot and buying a double-shot of whiskey.
“Need a round on me?” the man asked as if he could read my thoughts.
I straightened up only marginally under his sharp review. The drug dealer sized me up in a matter of seconds and decided I looked like I could use a few favors. My breath slowly released as he patted me on the back and took the stool next to me.
He was going to do me a favor in order to get one in return. It was exactly what I wanted.
The bartender poured us two shots of whiskey. He didn’t make eye contact; the way people shy away from the faces of animals they know are bound for the slaughterhouse.
“You don’t look like a man who likes to take things for free.” The drug dealer nodded to my untouched whiskey shot. “I’m sure you’ll pay me back. Wanna know how I know that?”
I nodded.
“I got some friends who need a little work done. They pay well as long as you know how to keep your mouth shut. That seem like something you could do?” he asked.
I remembered my earlier persona and chuckled. Then I took the shot and turned to face the drug dealer. “I’m willing to take a gamble if you are,” I said.
“You a betting man?” He didn’t even wait for my nod. “No offense, brother, but you don’t look like you’re very good at it.”
I shrugged. “Everyone has their runs of bad luck. I’m not broke yet.”
The drug dealer sized me up again. “You look strong, I’ll give you that. So maybe you can handle the trouble your mouth gets you in.”
“Look, buddy. I don’t know what sort of weird set-up this is, but I’m not interested. Thanks for the shot.” I stood up.
Ever con-man knew in order to hook the mark, you had to pretend to walk away.
“So, you’re not that desperate? I heard you were in here begging for some action,” the drug dealer said.
The hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I had clocked everyone in the bar but I still couldn’t tell who was his informant. They were a smooth, almost imperceptible team.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “What’s the job?”
The drug dealer stood up and turned me to walk with him. In my ear, he said, “Why don’t you come back here tomorrow, same time, and I’ll have all the details for you.”
“One more shot to seal the deal?” I asked.
He chuckled and slapped me on the back. “Done.”
The bartender caught the drug dealer’s quick nod and poured me another shot of whiskey. By the time I sat back down on my stool, my new contact was gone. I kicked back the shot and ordered a beer.
“Looks like I might be coming into some money soon.” I laid down the rest of my petty cash.
I was hoping the bartender would give me some sort of warning, or at least make some comment about the shit I had just stepped in, but he was silent. That meant it was bad. Why warn someone when it was already too late?
I fidgeted my full beer around in my hands and wondered what sort of entry level job I would be assigned. How long would it take me to work my way up the ranks and find Adrian Juarez?
It seemed more likely someone would recognize me tomorrow and all hell would break loose.
Either way, it would be a long time before I was able to see Bree’s sweet face again.
The thought punched a deep ache into my gut. Bree would be heading across Colorado by now, on her way to a new life. Would she go to the coast like she’d always daydreamed? Or would she head off to find her estranged sister?
My mind began to track Bree and my muscles twitched to leave the dim little dive bar. I could track her from Springer, New Mexico, and maybe catch up with her before she crossed state lines again.
“Got a lot on your mind?” a woman asked from a few stools down.
I shook my head. “Not really,” I lied.
The woman flipped back thick, dark hair. She was attractive even though her lips were painted too red. Her weary eyes still flickered at me, dancing down over where my arms stretched my stolen shirt. She shimmied her shoul
ders in a flirtatious dance.
“Bored, then. I can help with bored,” she said.
I was sure she could. The woman leaned against the bar, making her ample cleavage even deeper on more on display. I could feel the man to the right of me shooting jealous glances past me to her. Any other man in the bar would have taken her generous offer.
All I could think about was Bree.
I shook my head. “Not much for conversation tonight. Thanks anyway.”
The woman took the rejection with only slightly wider eyes and turned to consider her options in another direction.
I slammed half my beer and tried to shut out the bright daydream blazing through my head. The alcohol and the close brush with a cartel member had sparked an escape route. All I wanted to do was walk out the door.
I would head straight to the field where Maggie had taken Bree across. It wouldn’t take much for me to find their trail. I’d be across the border in a few hours and on my way to the Greyhound station in Springer.
If Bree had already moved on, I would take the first road leading to the coast. I tried not to smile as I realized my best move would be to check in at every diner along the way. Bree had a soft spot for her old profession, not to mention a healthy appetite. I imagined finding her in the same way we first met, except she would be in the booth and I would slide in across from her.
The sweet daydream dissolved, and I tried to wash away what was left with the rest of my beer.
Reality returned and I slipped off my barstool. The whiskey had already worn off and all I felt was tired. I needed to get back to the motel and get a solid night’s sleep. Tomorrow I knew would not go easy.
The bar customers glanced as I pulled open the door and left them to sink back into their places and wait for the next person to come in.
Chapter Sixty-Two
Bree
I held my arm up, fist clenched, but couldn’t bring myself to knock on the door. The lights were out in the little motel room, and I couldn’t decide what that meant. I lowered my hand and stepped back.
Either Nathan was already gone or he was asleep. I doubted he would be able to rest much before he completed his mission.
