by Beth Wiseman
“Josiah?” Her steps were tentative, and not only because of the sad state of his kitchen floor. He’d been so cold to her, no wonder she was skittish. “Josiah, I don’t understand. I thought after all these years you would be happy to see me.”
“I am.” The words were out before he knew it. Clamping down his lips, he didn’t say anything else. Then she smiled, and his knees almost buckled.
“I’m so glad to hear that,” she said as she moved toward him. She sighed, a light, pleasing sound that sent a ripple down his spine. “I thought maybe I’d somehow made you mad without knowing it.”
He shook his head, unable to let her believe she was at fault for his keeping his distance. “It’s just that . . . I’m tired, I guess. It was a long trip here, and as you can see”—he held out his arms wide—“I have a lot of work to do on the house and barn.”
“I can help you.”
She was now standing only a few feet away from him. Close enough that he could see flecks of green in her hazel eyes, which were rimmed by thick lashes. Another detail he either had forgotten or had been too young to pay attention to. But now he couldn’t stop staring at her. “I appreciate the offer, Amanda, but I won’t be needing help. It’ll take me awhile, but I’ll get it done.”
“Well, that doesn’t make any sense to me.” She put her hands on her hips. “I’m as able-bodied as you, and you said yourself you have a lot of work to do. You know what my grossmammi used to say when I was little?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Many hands make light work?”
“Nee, although that’s true too. She used to say that only a fool refuses a neighbor’s outstretched hand. I remember a lot of things about you, Josiah Bontrager. But I don’t remember you being a fool.”
His father would have begged to differ, but he didn’t say that out loud. “I don’t think it’s foolish to not want to put you to any trouble.”
“It’s no trouble. Besides, my sisters and brothers can help. They’re out of school on the weekends. Actually, they’re out of school for the rest of the week because their teacher has the flu, so we can start right away.”
“How many brothers and sisters did you say you had?”
“Six.” She ticked their names and ages off on her fingertips. “Hannah is ten; Rachel, nine; Andrew turned eight last month; Thomas is six, although he’ll insist he’s six and a half; Christopher is four; and Jacob is eighteen months. Mamm’s expecting number eight in July.”
Josiah’s eyes widened. “That’s incredible.”
“I know. They really thought I would be the only one, especially after trying for so long, but then once she got pregnant with Hannah, the babies kept coming.”
“So what’s it like having all those brothers and sisters underfoot?” He couldn’t hold back his fascination or his wonder at Amanda’s enthusiasm as she talked about her brothers and sisters. When he’d left Paradise, he and Amanda had been only children. He couldn’t fathom having so many younger siblings.
“Wunderbaar!” She clasped her hands together for emphasis. “Sure, it’s a lot of work, especially since Mamm doesn’t feel well right now. She usually gets extremely tired in the last trimester. But I help out as much as I can, and I really love taking care of them. I hope to have a large family someday.”
Josiah bit the inside of his cheek. He remembered playing house with Amanda when they were kids, at her insistence, of course. A stupid game, he’d thought at the time, but he gave in because she would always agree to climb trees with him afterward. So it didn’t come as a surprise that she would want a large family. And while as a boy he’d felt dumb playing house, now he longed to have a wife and children of his own. No, scratch that. He had longed to have a family of his own with Amanda. But as he did with every other yearning, he suffocated it. Marrying Amanda wasn’t in his future. Not out of choice, but out of necessity.
“I know Andrew and Thomas are young, but they’re hard workers,” Amanda said. “They’ve been helping Daed around the house since they were small. And I’m sure Hannah and Rachel won’t mind working in here with me.” She strolled around the kitchen, ideas obviously rolling around in her mind. She ran her fingertips over the dusty countertops. “First we’ll need to scrub everything down. Then we can fill the pantry with food and figure out a place to put the cooler so you can keep ice and the cold stuff. And you’ll need some sort of stove.” She opened up the rusty gas oven and peered inside, then coughed. “We’ll clean this out too.” Standing, she looked at him, her mouth curved in a lovely smile. “Before long you’ll smell the sweet aroma of apple pies baking.”
“I don’t bake.” This was getting out of hand. He had merely wanted her not to feel bad; he hadn’t meant to open the door for her to do all this for him.
“Silly, I know that. Remember the time we made cookies together at my house?”
He nodded, his mind transported to the past. They had been ten years old, and although he’d followed the recipe and done everything Amanda’s mother had said, his cookies were hard and tasteless, while Amanda’s had been delicious. He had never baked before—his father believed only women should cook and would get angry when he’d catch Josiah helping his mother in the kitchen—and after that failure he never attempted it again.
“I’ll make the pies,” she volunteered. “Is apple still your favorite?”
He hesitated before answering. The idea of coming into this desolate house and having a fresh-baked pie waiting greatly appealed to him, wearing down his already thinning resolve. Perhaps one pie wouldn’t hurt. “Ya.”
“Then it’s settled.” She brushed past him, giving him another one of her wonderful smiles, the kind that not only brightened her face but lit up the entire room. “The kids and I will be here tomorrow morning,” she said over her shoulder as she headed for the door.
“Amanda, wait.”
She turned around.
He almost told her no. He could repair the house and barn by himself. He had the tools, the skills, and—after selling his horse and the tiny mobile home he and his father had shared in Indiana—he had enough money for materials. But it would take him twice as long to complete the renovations if he did them alone. That would make it twice as long before he could sell the house and leave Paradise for good. If he had Amanda and her siblings’ help, he would finish much sooner and finally be on the road to Ohio.
“Did you want to tell me something, Josiah?” Amanda asked.
“Ya,” he said, finally making up his mind. “I . . . I’ll see you in the morning.”
With another smile and a wave of her hand, she disappeared outside.
He leaned against the countertop and blew out a breath. Deep down he appreciated the help. If only it hadn’t come in the form of Amanda Graber. At least she would be inside most of the time while he worked on the exterior of the house. The less contact they had with each other, the better off they both would be.
The next morning Amanda awoke well before sunrise. She had to get all her chores done before she went to Josiah’s and got started on the kitchen. What a mess! She had assumed there would be some problems with the outside of the house after ten years of neglect, but she hadn’t thought the inside would be so bad. It made her wonder if the interior had been in bad shape before Josiah and his father had moved away.
But that didn’t matter anymore. She had discussed her plan to help Josiah with her mamm and daed the night before, and they both agreed it would be a good idea. Not only was it the neighborly thing to do, but it would be good for Andrew and Thomas to learn a little about repairing a house—not to mention that it would keep them out of trouble. Hannah would stay home and help with Christopher and Jacob, but Rachel would be allowed to assist Amanda, who had spent the rest of the night creating a long list of what needed to be done.
Amanda put on her kapp before retrieving her shoes from the closet. She’d learned her lesson about going barefoot at Josiah’s, and she would make sure her siblings also protected their feet when they went o
ver there. As she slipped on her black shoes, she felt a tiny stab of pain on the bottom of her heel, reminding her of Josiah’s tender care of her foot. While she didn’t completely understand why he behaved so strangely toward her, she was glad he had agreed to let her help. She didn’t think she could stand seeing him working so hard by himself when he didn’t have to.
She dashed down the stairs, careful not to trip in the dark. When she reached the kitchen she turned on the lamp and started breakfast. Before long everyone in the house had awakened and settled down for a morning meal of flaky biscuits, flavorful sausage gravy, and lightly scrambled eggs.
After everyone had finished eating, and Hannah and Rachel had cleaned the kitchen, Amanda drew Rachel, Andrew, and Thomas to the side. “We’re going over to Josiah’s house today,” she said, bending down in front of them so she could meet their gazes.
“We are?” Andrew asked, tugging on one of his black suspenders.
“Why?”
“To help him fix his house. He has a lot of repairs to do, and it would be hard for him to do them on his own.”
“Will I get to use a hammer?” Thomas asked, his eyes filling with excitement.
“As long as you don’t hit his thumb with it like you did Daed’s, then I’m sure you can.”
“That was an accident,” Thomas said, guilt crossing his cherubic features.
“I know, honey. And Daed did too. Just be careful, and do what Josiah tells you to.” She eyed her brothers directly. “Without argument.”
“We will,” they said in unison.
“What am I supposed to do?” Rachel asked.
“You and I will be cleaning the kitchen. It needs a lot of work.”
Rachel nodded. “Are we going over there now?”
“As soon as you get your shoes on.”
“Aww, I don’t wanna wear shoes,” Thomas said.
“You have to.” She pointed to her foot. “I have them on, and with good reason. Yesterday I got a splinter in my heel. There’s also rusted nails and broken glass in the yard. You don’t want to cut open your feet, do you?”
Thomas and Andrew both ran to get their shoes.
She waited for her siblings to get ready and watched Hannah take Jacob out of his high chair, knowing her sister was probably glad she didn’t have to help Josiah. Hannah had never been keen on doing chores, but she didn’t mind watching her baby brothers.
“We’re ready.” Andrew and Thomas ran from the living room to the back door of the kitchen, skidding to a stop in front of her. Rachel, more mature at age nine, ambled a bit more slowly.
“Okay, let’s go!” As Amanda trailed behind her sister and brothers, carrying a blue bucket filled with rags and cleaning supplies, a strange feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. She couldn’t shake the feeling that Josiah had agreed to this reluctantly. What if he had changed his mind overnight? The boys would be disappointed . . . and so would she.
Andrew and Thomas chased each other in the tall grass while she and Rachel went to the back entrance. The rusted screen door still leaned against the house, and in the early morning light she noticed a fist-sized hole in the screen. She knocked on the wooden door. Once, then twice. After the third time she turned the knob, finding it unlocked.
“Stay out here for a minute,” she instructed Rachel, then tilted her head in the direction of her brothers. “Keep an eye on them, make sure they don’t go into the barn. We shouldn’t disturb Josiah’s horse.”
Rachel nodded and walked toward Andrew and Thomas, who were now playfully pushing each other.
Amanda opened the door and stepped inside, once again greeted by the musty, dank smell. None of the lights were on, and she didn’t see any sign that Josiah had been in the kitchen since she’d left last night. She turned on the lamp, then went to the window over the kitchen sink. With a few strong pushes she opened it, breathing in the welcome fresh air.
Aided by the steady stream of sunlight through the window and by the lamp, she could see that she had underestimated the amount of work she and Rachel would have to do. The light blue paint on the walls underneath the wood cabinets had peeled off in spots, and dust and cobwebs coated everything. Further examination showed several piles of small black pellets, a clear indication that mice had taken up residence. Rodents and bugs outdoors had never bothered her, but vermin had no place in a house, especially the kitchen. A good scrubbing down of everything would help, but she suspected Josiah would have to set out a few traps to get rid of them completely.
The squeak of a floorboard sounded, and she whirled around to see Josiah entering the kitchen. His streaked hair stood up in tufts all over his head, his suspenders were dangling around his waist and legs, and his shirt was buttoned partway. Clearly he had just woken up.
He rubbed his eyes and looked at her. “Amanda?”
“Guder mariye!” she said. “I knocked a few times, but no one answered, so I decided to go ahead and get started.”
“Guess I was more tired than I thought.” He looked at her for a moment, then he quickly buttoned up the rest of his shirt and slid on his suspenders.
“Andrew, Thomas, and Rachel are outside,” she said. “The boys are excited to help.”
Josiah ran a hand through his hair, trying unsuccessfully to tame the tufts. His wavy hair looked so thick and soft. As he continued to thread his fingers through the unruly locks, she wondered what the texture felt like.
She blushed and looked away. She had no business thinking about touching Josiah’s hair. Still, she had difficulty getting the temptation out of her mind. Hoping the flaming color on her cheeks had ebbed, she looked at Josiah. “I thought I’d start by wiping down the counters.”
He shrugged. “Whatever you want to do.”
Her shoulders sagged. Back to treating her like a stranger. In fact, now he wouldn’t even look at her. Instead he went to the back door and grabbed the pair of work boots that had been placed nearby. He sat down on one of the wooden kitchen chairs and pulled them on. “You say your brothers are outside?”
“Ya,” she said, trying to hide her disenchantment at his mood.
“I’ll send your sister in to see you.” He grabbed the yellow straw hat hanging on the peg near the door and walked outside.
Amanda frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. Not a thank you or a good-bye or even a see-you-later. He could at least show a little appreciation. She was half tempted to walk out of the kitchen and take her siblings back home.
But that wouldn’t be right. She had told him they would help, and she would keep her word. Closing her eyes, she prayed aloud, as she often did when she as frustrated. “Dear heavenly Father, I don’t know what’s going on with Josiah, but You do. He’s changed so much, and I don’t know why. I have no idea where he’s been all these years, and for some reason he doesn’t want to tell me. Help me to help him with whatever he needs and to do it with a selfless heart.”
Chapter Five
FOR MOST OF THE MORNING JOSIAH FELT LIKE HE HAD two little shadows. Andrew and Thomas were more than eager to help. Whatever task he gave them, no matter how mundane, they did without complaint. So far they had picked up all the sticks in the backyard and put them in a pile a few feet from the house. They also collected as much small debris as they could and put it in a glass mason jar. Surprisingly, there weren’t too many rusty nails or shards of glass, and those were mostly near the house where a window had been broken and a couple of shutters had fallen off. Undoubtedly there had been a few storms over the years, and heavy winds could do a lot of damage. He should be grateful the house wasn’t in worse shape. But when he took a look at all the work he needed to do, gratitude was far from his mind.
“Here, Mr. Josiah.” Andrew held the half-filled quart jar out to him. “What else you want us to do?”
He glanced around the yard, pushing back the brim of his hat and letting the air dry his damp forehead. Most of the morning had been spent cleaning the front and back yards enough so he could use th
e push mower on the overgrown grass. He sized Andrew up. For eight, the boy seemed tall, reminding him of Amanda’s father. He also seemed to possess his daed ’s work ethic, something Josiah had appreciated in David Graber even as a boy. “Ever use a push mower?”
Andrew nodded. “For a long time. Since I was seven.”
Josiah hid a smile. “Sounds like you have some experience, then.”
“Ya, I do. Lots. And your lawn needs mowing bad, Mr. Josiah.”
He let out a deep breath, maintaining the serious tone of the conversation. “I think you’re the man for the job. I bought a brand-new push mower yesterday. Want to break it in for me?”
Showing a grin that featured two gaping holes, one on the top and one on the bottom, Andrew bobbed his head up and down. “I sure would.”
“It’s in the barn. Wait here and I’ll bring it out to you.”
“What about me, Mr. Josiah?” Thomas wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
Josiah squatted down in front of him. “What would you like to do?”
“Use a hammer,” Thomas said matter-of-factly.
Rubbing his chin, Josiah said, “All right. I’ve got some rotted boards on the front porch that need replacing. You can pull the nails out for me. How does that sound?”
Thomas nodded. “Sounds gut, Mr. Josiah.”
Josiah chucked the boy under the chin and stood, his mood lighter than it had been in days. Something about being around these boys, with their earnest and genuine eagerness to help, combined with the beautiful, crisp fall weather, elevated his spirits. “Be right back,” he said and went to get the mower. A few moments later Andrew went to work on the lawn while Josiah and Thomas tackled the front porch.
Josiah held up the hammer and pointed to the claw. “Have you ever used this end before?”
The boy shook his head. Unlike Andrew, Thomas said few words, something Josiah could relate to.
“See that nail sticking up over there?” Josiah pointed the hammer at the flat head of a bent, rusty nail poking through the end of a long plank of wood. A soft breeze kicked up, and a few brown leaves danced across the porch. “You get it out like this.” He demonstrated how to use the hammer to remove the nail, then handed the tool to Thomas. “Now, find another one and try it yourself.”
