by Beth Wiseman
“I understand,” she said, turning her back to him. She blinked back tears, unwilling to let him see her mourn as he pounded the last nail in the coffin of their friendship. “I’ll finish up the dishes,” she said, distressed at the thickness in her voice. “Then the boys and I will geh. You don’t have to worry, Josiah. We won’t bother you again.”
Silence surrounded her, and she knew he hadn’t moved. After a long moment, she heard him walk out the kitchen door. Only then did she let the tears fall.
“Mr. Josiah!”
Clenching his jaw, Josiah stalked past Andrew and Thomas, ignoring their calling out his name. Bile clawed up his throat as the image of Amanda’s stricken expression rewound itself in his mind. He had finally gotten through to her, although it had nearly killed him to do it.
“Mr. Josiah, wait up!”
He continued to walk toward the barn. He had hurt her once again. Not physically, as he had yesterday, but deeply nevertheless. He had seen it on her face, heard it in the tone of her voice. Seen it in the tears she tried to keep from him.
For a split second he had thought to put his arms around her, to apologize for being so harsh. But he stopped himself. She said she’d leave him alone, and that was what he had wanted all along.
“Mr. Josiah!”
He spun around in front of the barn entrance. “What do you want?”
Both Andrew and Thomas shrank back. “We just wanted to know how we could help you today.”
“You can help by going home.”
“But—”
“Geh! Get out of here!”
Andrew turned around and ran back to the house like he had flames licking at his heels. But Thomas didn’t move. His lower lip quivered, and his hazel eyes, the same color as Amanda’s, filled with tears.
Perfect. He’d made two innocent people cry today.
Thomas looked at him for a long moment, his shoulders slumped. He turned around, but unlike his brother, he didn’t run. Instead he walked slowly, each trudging step driving a knife deeper into Josiah’s heart.
“How dare you treat them that way!”
He looked up to see Amanda storming toward him. The sorrow he’d seen in her expression had been replaced with anger. Her fists pressed against her sides, she stopped short a few feet in front of him.
“All they wanted to do was help, Josiah. They look up to you, especially Thomas.”
“They shouldn’t.”
“You’re right. Not if you’re going to treat him like that.” She pressed her fingertips to her brow. “If you’re mad at me, fine, but they don’t deserve your taking it out on them.”
The sound of a horse’s hooves reached his ears. He looked down the length of his driveway to see a buggy approaching Amanda’s house. A superbly constructed buggy, outfitted with as much reflective tape as the Ordnung would allow. He knew whose it was.
Josiah had thought this day couldn’t get any worse. He had thought wrong.
Chapter Eight
“YOU GOT COMPANY,” JOSIAH SAID.
Amanda glared at him, then turned around to glance at the buggy pulling into her driveway. “I’m not expecting anyone. Maybe one of Mamm’s friends is dropping by.” She faced Josiah, looking as if she wanted to lay into him again. Instead, she frowned. “You look like you know who that is.”
“Don’t you?”
She turned again. A tall, slender man exited the buggy and tied his horse to the hitching post at the top of the Grabers’ driveway. Cousin Peter.
“Oh no,” Amanda groaned.
Well, he hadn’t expected that reaction from her. “What’s wrong?”
Her angry expression had been replaced by one of irritation. “He’s been trying to court me for the past year. I’ve tried to be nice about it and let him know I’m not interested, but he’s not getting the message.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I wonder what he wants now.”
Their argument apparently over, or at least postponed, Josiah moved to stand next to Amanda. “He shouldn’t be bothering you like this.”
“Maybe he’s just dropping off something at the house.”
“Has he ever done that before?”
She shook her head. “Nee. He’s never even visited before.”
Josiah wasn’t in any hurry for her to leave now, not with Peter walking inside her house. He had a small measure of satisfaction knowing Amanda wasn’t interested in his cousin. She’d always had good taste.
Within minutes Peter walked out the door, and Josiah hoped he would get in his buggy and take off. But instead he walked right past the buggy and across the yard, straight toward his house. Great. Just what he needed.
“Wunderbaar,” Amanda said, lowering her voice and echoing his own thoughts. “He’s coming over here.”
“I can see that.”
“What should I say to him?”
He looked at her incredulously. “You’re asking me?”
“He’s your cousin.” She leaned closer to him. “How do I get him to leave me alone?”
Josiah could think of several ways of convincing Peter to leave her alone, but none of them were appropriate for Amanda to use, or even remotely Christian. He tried to think of a useful response as Peter came toward them with his hat perched low on his head the way he normally wore it, obscuring his eyes.
“Hello, Amanda,” Peter said as he reached them. He stopped right in front of her, completely ignoring Josiah. “Your mamm said I could find you here.”
“Hello, Peter.”
Josiah could tell that she was struggling to be cordial, which was unusual for Amanda. He was surprised to find another person in Paradise who disliked his cousin. As the son of one of the most successful businessmen in the area, Peter didn’t have to worry about the future. He made good money working beside his father in the buggy and harness shop, and when his father retired someday, the business would be his. He had a lot to offer a woman—a steady job and good stream of income, a nice house, and a secure future. Why wouldn’t Amanda want that?
Then Peter opened his mouth, and Josiah realized why.
“I took a break from work to personally ask you to the singing at my house two weeks from this Sunday. Even though we’re very busy at the shop, I made the extra trip. We’ve got over a dozen customers on a waiting list, and we’re busting our tails to get all the work done.” He leaned forward and put his face close to Amanda’s, closer than he had the right to. “But you’re worth it,” he drawled.
Amanda took a step back, clearly unnerved. “Um, danki, Peter. You didn’t have to go to so much trouble.”
“I know.” He gave her a haughty smile.
Josiah moved closer to Amanda, his guard up. He didn’t like the way his cousin was looking at Amanda, as if he already possessed her. Amanda, for her part, appeared both frustrated and confused.
“I’ll come by and pick you up at five,” Peter said. He turned to go, still not saying a word to Josiah.
“Peter, wait.” Amanda bit her lower lip. “I’m sorry. I can’t go with you.”
A spark flashed in his eyes. “Why not?”
“Because . . . because . . .” She looked up at Josiah, helplessness in her eyes.
Peter put his hands on his hips. “I’m getting tired of you putting me off, Amanda. There’re plenty of maed who would jump at the chance to go out with me.”
Josiah took a step forward. “Then maybe you should go find all those maed you’re talking about and leave Amanda alone.”
For the first time, Peter acknowledged him. “Stay out of this, Josiah. Better yet, why don’t you stay out of Paradise?”
“Peter, how could you say something so terrible?” Amanda said. “And about your own cousin?”
Peter looked down the length of his nose. “He’s no cousin of mine.”
“Blood says otherwise,” Josiah retorted.
“I’m having a private conversation. Do you mind?”
Josiah crossed his arms over his chest. “Since you’re on my property, I
do mind.”
Peter shook his head, then turned his back on Josiah. “Come on, Amanda. We’ll continue this at your house.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” She took a deep breath. “Peter, I already said I can’t go with you.”
“But you didn’t tell me why.” He put his arm around her shoulders and guided her away from Josiah. He was at least six inches taller than she was and twice her size in bulk. The gesture seemed innocent enough, but Josiah kept his guard up. When they were a few feet away and in Amanda’s front yard, Peter dropped his arm and faced her.
Amanda glanced over her shoulder at Josiah, who remained on his side of the property line. Disappointment washed through her when he didn’t follow her. Not that she should have expected him to. Peter Yoder was her problem, and Josiah had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want to get involved in her life.
Fine. She would deal with Peter. She didn’t need Josiah’s help anyway.
“I’m really sorry, Peter,” she said, looking up at him. Well, she wasn’t all that sorry, but she didn’t want to be outright rude to him. “I can’t go with you to the singing.”
“Amanda, I drove all the way out here to ask you. I took time off from work.”
“I know, Peter, but—”
“I don’t understand why you keep refusing me. It’s not like you’ve had any other offers. And face it, you’re getting old. It’s not like you can afford to be picky.”
His words stung. “I’d appreciate it if you’d leave, Peter.” She moved toward the house, fighting the irritation rising inside her. She wasn’t that old. He made her sound like she needed to be put out to pasture.
“Wait—Amanda.” He grabbed her upper arm, preventing her from moving any farther. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve liked you for so long.” He pulled her toward him. “I don’t understand why you don’t like me too.”
“Peter, let me go.” The desperation she saw in his eyes stunned her.
“If you’d only give me a chance . . . please.” His head tilted toward hers, and suddenly she realized he intended to kiss her. “You’d see how much I want you—”
“Let her geh!”
At the sound of Josiah’s booming voice, Peter dropped his grip. Amanda immediately stepped back in shock. Peter had tried to kiss her. Right in front of her house. Had he lost his mind?
Josiah stormed toward Peter. “You touch her one more time and I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” Peter smirked. “Hit me? Go ahead. I’m sure the bishop will be happy to hear about how you beat up a member of the church, not to mention a member of your own family.”
Amanda’s gaze darted to Josiah, who remained in place. His fists were clenched at his sides, and his mouth was pressed in a flat line. For a brief moment she thought he might cave in to his cousin’s taunt. Then his posture relaxed, but only slightly. “I suggest you leave, Peter. Now.”
“Not until Amanda tells me why she can’t go to the singing with me.”
“I’ll tell you why. Because she’s going with me.”
Amanda’s mouth dropped open. Josiah couldn’t have surprised her more if he had sprouted wings and started flying around the yard. She should have done a better job at hiding her shock, but she couldn’t, not when only moments ago he had made it abundantly clear that he wanted her to leave him alone.
“You’re taking her?” Peter scoffed as he looked at Amanda. “Seems to me she had no idea about that.”
She met Josiah’s gaze. The slightly confused look in her eyes spoke volumes.
“Just as I thought.” Peter crossed his arms over his chest. “She’s not going with you.”
“Ya, I am.” The words came out before she could stop them. Turning to Josiah, she said, “I’d be happy to go with you. Extremely happy.”
Still looking at Peter, he said, “Gut. It’s a date.”
A date? Her mouth suddenly went dry. His words were obviously aimed to irk Peter, and from the way the other man’s face reddened, it had worked. Still, to proclaim aloud and to his cousin that he had asked her out on a date seemed unreal.
“Fine,” Peter said, backing away from them both. “If you want to be with this loser, go ahead. Just remember what you’re giving up.” He looked past them, gesturing with an upward tilt of his chin at the run-down barn behind them. “He’s as worthless as that barn. You’ll see.” Spinning around, he stalked back to his buggy.
Amanda didn’t breathe until Peter and his buggy were well out of sight.
“Are you all right?” Josiah asked.
Her cheeks reddened. “Ya. I’m sorry about that.”
“Not your fault he’s a jerk. He always has been. Comes from being spoiled, if you ask me.” He gave her another look. The horse suddenly whinnied from inside the barn. “I’ve got to feed her.’Scuse me.” He turned and went inside.
Amanda followed him into the barn, squinting as her vision adjusted to the dark interior. She glanced around, seeing the horse in her stall waiting patiently to be fed. There was room enough for three more horses, but she didn’t remember the Bontragers ever having more than one at any time.
She watched as Josiah dragged a bale of fresh hay from the other side of the barn closer to the horse’s stall. He pulled a small knife out of his pocket, flipped it open, and cut the rough twine securing the square bale. He loosened the hay with his hands, then grabbed what looked like a brand-new pitchfork and tossed fresh hay over the stall door into the horse’s trough.
“Josiah.”
He didn’t stop, nor did he look at her. “Ya?”
He wasn’t going to make this easy for her. But she wasn’t about to walk away. “I appreciate your helping me out with Peter.”
“No problem.” He shoved the pitchfork into another pile of hay.
“I’m sorry you had to be dragged into it. I wish he would just leave me alone. He’s right about one thing: there are plenty of maed in the community who would love his attention. Plenty of them that are more his age.”
“He’s only two years younger than you.”
“Two and a half. Besides, twenty-one is too young. For me anyway.” She winced, remembering his words about her being old.
Flipping the hay into the stall, Josiah didn’t comment.
She clasped her hands together. How could he be so unaffected by what had just happened? She had thought he would at least say something. Instead, he seemed content to ignore the incident entirely.
Stepping forward, she moved until she was almost right beside him, but clear enough away that she wouldn’t get the in the way of his work. “Look, Josiah, I know you don’t want to take me to the singing. I won’t hold you to it.” She looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed and more than a little insecure. “I know you only said that so he would leave me alone.”
He moved to grab more hay, but before sliding the pitchfork underneath a large clump, he halted. Turning, he looked at her, his expression resolute. “I said I’d take you, and I’ll keep my word.”
He didn’t have to sound so enthusiastic about it. Also, it wasn’t right, not when he was already spoken for. “What about your girlfriend in Ohio?”
His eyes grew wide. “What girlfriend?”
“The one you’re going back to once you sell the house.” How painful it was to say that aloud. Why should she be bothered that he had someone waiting for him? She should be more surprised that he hadn’t married by now. They were both twenty-four, and most of her friends were already starting families. Even her mother had expressed concern recently about Amanda’s lack of a beau.
He resumed working, sliding the pitchfork underneath the last remnants of hay and dropping them in the trough. The crunching sound of hay being mashed between the animal’s teeth filled the barn. Slowly Josiah leaned the pitchfork against the wall, then faced her. “There’s no one waiting for me in Ohio.”
“Oh. She’s still in Indiana?” She frowned, confused. If his girlfriend lived in Indiana, why was he going to Ohio?
“Amanda,” he said, looking directly at her. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
She nearly let out a sigh of relief, but stopped just in time. “Then why are you going there? Why not just stay here in Paradise?”
He kicked at a dirt clod on the barn floor. Dust particles rose and danced in the beams of light streaming through the open gaps in the barn wall slats. “I can’t. Not in this house.”
“Well, of course not, not with things the way they are. But once you get everything fixed up, this will be a great place to live. Just the way it used to be.”
“Ya . . . maybe.”
She didn’t miss the doubt in his voice, and figured he must be tired and overwhelmed. “It will. I promise you that.”
Josiah walked to the other side of the barn and leaned against the wall. “Doesn’t matter. I’m selling.”
Fighting her rising disappointment, she said, “I hate to see you do all this work for nothing, Josiah.”
“It’s not for nothing. This is a great piece of property and a fairly large house. And look at the barn.” He gestured to it with his hands. “Four stalls, a loft, another place to store hay on the ground floor. You can’t find barns this nice anymore. Well, it will be nice once I’m done with it. In the backyard there’s a place for a large garden, and when I finish with the front porch, it will be a gut place to relax at the end of the day.”
Amanda could hear a tinge of excitement in his voice as he spoke, and she warmed to it. “In other words, a great place for you to live.”
He didn’t answer her for a long moment as he stared at the horse finishing her meal. Finally he said, “What time did Peter say he was gonna pick you up for the singing?”
His change of subject had been severe, and she had to respect that, even though it frustrated her to do so. “Five. It starts at five thirty. I think we have a problem, though. Peter thinks you and I will be on a date.”
“Oh, that.” He shrugged, but she noticed he kept his gaze from hers. “I said that for his benefit. I didn’t want him to get any ideas that he had a chance with you.”
“I see.” She hid the disappointment from her voice. “But what if he tells everyone that we’re courting?”
