Dear Soldier: BBW Contemporary Romance

by Ashe, Karina

  “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

  He lowers the lighter to the sparkler. “Look Lily, you started this.”

  “I did nothing of the sort!”

  “Oh you did plenty, and it’s alright. I did plenty too. But here’s the thing, if you want me to come clean, you gotta spill.” He lights the sparkler. “And my secret’s a lot bigger than yours.”

  He holds up the sparkler, staring at it like he’s about to tell it some deep, dark secret. The mood between us immediately changes. For some reason, I’m tempted to put my hand on his wrist and my cheek on his shoulder. Instead, I slide my palms over my dress, searching for pockets that aren’t there.

  When I look back up, his attention is on me. His blue eyes look darker in the fading light.

  I shiver, stepping back.

  “What is it?” he asks.

  What do I tell him? He looks…distant. Upset. I want to comfort him, but I don’t know how. I don’t even know what’s wrong, or if anything is wrong. “I’m just wondering what you’re thinking,” I admit.

  The corner of his mouth turns up and he looks back at the sparkler, waving a figure eight in the air.

  I take a deep breath. “Ian—”

  “Don’t.” His voice, though soft, silences me.

  I take a step back. His dark, beautiful eyes catch me.

  My clammy palms stick to the scratchy, glittering sequins plastered over my thighs. “What are you hiding from me?”

  For just one second, I see a hint of something flash in his eyes, but it’s so quickly replaced by his signature, cocky smile that I can’t decipher it. “You’re so direct, Lily. Not at all like any woman I’ve ever met. Not at all like me.”

  I gulp. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  He takes a step closer, grin widening. “It means I don’t want to say anything, so I’m stalling.”

  “Why would you do something like that?”

  He gives me the once over, not even trying to hide his hunger. Every cell in my body explodes. “Maybe I want tonight to last a little longer.”

  My ankles suddenly feel way too vulnerable in these teetering heels. Something in me is gonna give out. It’s not a question of if, but when. And with him being so close and sexy and giving me that dirty smile, I’m afraid the thing that’s gonna give is the one thing I can’t lose: my self respect.

  I shut my eyes. Think, Lily. Think. “Why would telling make…this…different? I mean, are you married?” My eyes whip open, narrowing. “Oh my god, you’re married!”

  He raises the sparkler. “No, it’s not like that. I have no deep, dark secrets—or at least none that you haven’t already heard.”

  “Then what is it?”

  He tilts his head to the side, studying the sparkler thoughtfully. “If I tell you, things between us will change, but if you must know, well, I guess I’ll tell you.”

  He raises the sparkler and starts flicking his wrist, scrawling something over the sky as if it were a canvas.

  “Are you writing something?” I ask.

  “Yeah.”

  I shouldn’t encourage him. I know this. And yet, for some reason, I try to follow it.

  I fail. It’s all a jumble of swirls and flashes of white against the last light of the sun. “It’s not dark enough for me to read it, yet.”

  “I’ll do it again. Right now.”

  “That doesn’t solve the light problem.”

  “Well, I guess you’re just gonna have to squint real hard, then.”

  I do. “Who’s Billy Aires?”

  Ian’s lips twitch.

  Oh that is it! “This isn’t funny! It’s frustrating. Your handwriting is shit.”

  “Hey, that hurts.”

  It was amazing how much I didn’t care. “Do it again.”

  “I don’t know if I can. You’ve bruised my manly ego.”

  “By complaining about you handwriting?”

  “Now you’re just bruising it more.”

  “I’ll bruise something else in a minute.”

  Right after the words leave my mouth, I feel something tug on my left shin fin. “What you gonna bruise, Wiwy?”

  I look down to see a kid with bright red cheeks and brighter blue eyes staring up at me like I just announced that I intended to kick a puppy.

  “Nothing.” I glare at Ian. “He and I were just having an adult conversation.”

  “My mommy and daddy go to their bedroom to have their adult conversations.”

  Oh God. I was never gonna be able to look at Jen and Peter the same way again. I mean, I knew of course, but…

  “Mr. Ian, is it time for ice cweam yet?”

  Ian sighs. “I don’t know. Lily didn’t want me to buy you guys any.”

  I feel the kid’s fist tighten on my fin. “Wiwy? You don’t want him to buy me ice cweam? Why?”

  Alright, this kid was sent from hell to kill me. “Okay, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant…” I sigh. “Buy him ice cream. Buy them all ice cream.”

  And Ian did.

  He bought ice cream for every child.

  Every.

  Single.

  One.

  It was cute, but I was afraid to ask exactly what percentage of his soldier’s yearly salary he spent. I just hoped Avery didn’t mind him crashing on our couch for the next few days…or six months.

  Chapter 6

  Lily

  By the time the ice cream fiasco is over, it’s getting dark in earnest. The kids invite Ian to come watch fireworks with them, but he tells them he has other plans. When they’ve all run off, he takes my hand and looks at me in a way that makes me shiver everywhere.

  Finally, every cell in my body screams.

  It’s not until we’ve left the park and he’s driven up to the old campground that my nerves kick in.

  “So, this is a good place to watch the fireworks, huh?”

  It was an okay to watch them. It was a good place to get some privacy. I swallow, throat suddenly tight. “Good enough.”

  The corner of his lip curls up. “I like the sound of that.”

  I snuggle back into the car seat. “You seem to like the sound of a lot of things.”

  “When you say them I sure do.”

  I look away so he can’t see me blushing. “That’s corny.” Not quite as corny as the fact I blushed after he said it, but I still figured I should point it out.

  He pulls the keys out of the car. The engine dies. “So, why don’t we get out and you can show me around.”

  It’s surprisingly chilly outside. Ian offers me his jacket, and for a second I almost ask for his shirt too. I want to see those muscles in the moonlight. He turns to me, smiling, looking exactly like the kind of bad boy mothers warn their daughters about.

  He grins. “You’ve got a little color in your cheeks, Lily.”

  I feel my cheeks grow warmer. “How can you tell? It’s too dark out.”

  “I can’t see the exact color, but your cheeks look a little darker than the rest of your face.”

  I gulp. “You’re point being…?”

  “I wanna know what you’re thinking about.”

  I take a step back.

  He takes a step forward.

  I take a step back.

  And what do you know? He takes a step forward. “I would say we can do this all night, but you’re at the treeline.”

  I take one more step back, hitting a tree.

  “See?” he grins.

  “I don’t see what you’re so happy about,” I stall.

  He plants a hand over my head and leans in, his bicep bulging right above my forehead. “It’s ‘cause I finally got you right where I want you.”

  “I…I…” I can’t think. I can’t breathe. I can’t do anything but look into his impossibly blue eyes—eyes that, impossibly, are looking straight at me like I’m the only thing they’ve ever wanted.

  My inner thigh muscles tighten.

  “Lily, if you don’t say anything I’m
gonna think it’s ‘cause you don’t want me to do all sorts of gloriously dirty things to you. And since I want to do these things…very, very badly…if you don’t say yes I will leave right now and…” he gulps.

  “…Do gloriously dirty things to yourself?” I whisper.

  He laughs. “I couldn’t have put that better myself.”

  Actually, he could have put it better. This is officially the worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard. Yes, even worse than “What’s in that dirty chai?” I mean, really, “If you don’t fuck me, I’m just going to have to go jerk off in the woods alone” ? What kind of asshole thinks a line like that would actually work?

  “So, what do you say Lily?” he cups my cheeks with his rough hands. Calloused thumbs brush over my bottom lip.

  What do I say? What do I say????

  I don’t say anything. Instead, I grab his wrists as I go weak in the knees. I moan as he leans into me, his lips mere centimeters from mine. And when he’s still teasing me with the possibility of our first kiss, I finally choke out, “What are you waiting for, you bastard?”

  He grins. “Your consent.”

  “Fine.”

  “Just fine? That doesn’t sound like you really want it.”

  What the—why are we still talking? Is he trying to get me to back down first? Well, that’s just not my style. I smile back at him. “You’ve got a nice body, Ian. I want to see if you know how to use it.”

  “Is that a challenge?”

  “Of course it is, but it’s a limited time offer. If you make me wait too much longer to kiss me, I’m gonna get bored and—”

  His lips crash into mine and oh my god, it’s officially Fourth of July in my panties. I’ve never felt that much going on down there before. Not even with a vibrator.

  And he hasn’t even touched my pussy yet!

  When he breaks the kiss, we’re both gasping. His eyes look deeply into mine, dark with lust. I dig my fingernails into his wrists and he growls with appreciation right before he removes his hands from my face.

  I am about to ask him why the hell he stopped when he grabs my hips, lifting me off the ground. I barely have time to wrap my legs around his waist and my loop my arms around his head as he pushes me into the tree trunk. I run my fingers through his thick, wild hair as he brings us both to the forest floor.

  He sets me down gently. I’m amazed considering how fast we’re moving. He claims my mouth in another kiss, letting out an appreciative growl. “I wasn’t expecting this,” he whispers.

  “What?”

  His hands stop on my hips, then squeeze, inciting a low, breathless note from the back of my throat.

  “The feeling of you beneath me,” he whispers in my ear. “The sounds you make.”

  As if on cue I make another sound. His grip on me gets so hard and possessive that it wouldn’t surprise me if he never let go. And, even more surprisingly, I don’t want him to.

  The stubble on his chin brushes against the side of my neck. “I fuckin’ love it.”

  “Oh.” Oh God, oh god, oh…

  Something long and hard slides across my stomach. His cock, barely contained by his jeans. And when I say barely, I mean barely. I’m suddenly wondering how the hell he fits that thing in his pants and how the hell it hasn’t blown apart his zipper and how amazing it will feel when he finally gets it all the way inside me…

  My cunt tightens.

  Oh God. Oh my fucking God.

  How the hell is he gonna fit all that inside me?!?!?!?

  “Lily,” he rasps.

  I squeak.

  “God damn,” he whispers.

  And I’m thinking No shit, and Holy shit, and then stop thinking completely as he runs his hands over my shoulders, looping his thumbs under layer upon layer of aqua, purple and pink frills and ripping them down over my shoulders. I arch my back, shoulders bare and, gasping, push my chest into his.

  “Not yet,” he whispers, pushing me back down. Then, with multicolored, sparkling netting is wedged between his fingers, he grabs my bodice and tears it in half with a growl.

  Holy shit! He actually ripped my top off like a monster from a B horror movie! He looks down at me, panting, his limbs still decorated with the spoils—long, glittering, pastel slips of fabric running down his arms like streamers.

  If I were with anyone else, I would have laughed at the absurdity of it all, but one look at him and I can’t. Yes, the situation is absurd. Yes, it looks like he just went apeshit on a teletubby. But, goddamn, I’ve never had anyone look at me the way he’s looking at me right now.

  “Perfect.” Slowly, he brings his hands down to cup my breasts. Sparkling fabric, carried by the gentle summer breeze, caresses my stomach. Instinctively, my muscles tighten. And then, my toes curl and my eyes roll to the back of my head as his thumbs brush my nipples.

  I feel him adjusting himself on top of me. Knees sliding down the inside of my thighs. Hands running over my curves. The slightest hint of his teeth right before he claims my exposed breasts in a kiss. His tongue swirls around my nipple and I feel it in my hands, in the balls of my feet, and, oh God, in my “feminine place.”

  He unceremoniously breaks the most glorious kiss my breasts have ever had the pleasure to receive and sits up. “We gotta do something about these fins, Lily.”

  I look down at my sequins-covered legs. I couldn’t agree more. “Oh Ian, make me a woman!”

  His eyes go wide. “Shit, I didn’t realize you were a virgin. Uh…maybe we should wait on this.”

  What? Virgin? What the hell was he going on about?!? “I’m not a virgin, I’m a mermaid!”

  Then his eyes go really wide.

  Oh God, how did this go downhill so fast? “The Fourth of July theme.”

  He nods. “Right. Fish.”

  “No, beached mermaid.”

  His chest heaves. “Sweetheart, I don’t give a fuck what you are. I want you so bad I’m amazed I can still talk.”

  “Oh.”

  He grins, ripping whatever’s left of the sequins off my legs, and then bites my panties. Yes, bites them with his teeth. And then he whips his head to the side, ripping them off me.

  I’ve never seen anything so hot in my life.

  “God damn Lily,” he whispers, looking down at my feminine area. “You got the most perfect pussy I’ve ever seen.”

  I decide not to ask him exactly how many he’s seen and just take the compliment.

  He leans over, kissing me. I shiver as his warm breath spills between my thighs, then cry out as his tongue flicks against my clit.

  “And responsive,” he whispers, smiling up at me again.

  I’m about to say something but at that moment, he slowly penetrates me with his finger.

  I gasp, tightening all around him.

  “God damn, you’re tight too. I can’t wait to find out what you taste like.”

  “Oh god.” He did not just say that, did he? My fingers dig into his scalp, guiding him closer.

  He twists his finger inside me, hooking his finger, hitting a part of me that’s so damn sensitive I scream. My toes curl. I try to pull my knees together but his strong shoulders are there, stopping me.

  He rolls his tongue around my clit before gently biting down on it. Once he has it where he wants it, he sucks in.

  I’ve never felt anything like this before. I didn’t even know things could feel like this. I’m in a storm and he’s the center of it, the calm eye, never taking his eyes off me as I buck against his face not so silently begging for an ecstasy only his mouth can bring. His fingers push into me deeper, two and then three. I know a part of me should be anxious about being so wanton, but I can’t bring myself to do anything but give into this dark, beautiful, gentle feeling.

  I can hear fireworks going off in the distance, but I don’t see anything but his eyes, feel anything but the cold air and the warmth from his mouth.

  He licks me without restraint or shame, telling me how good I taste, how soft I am, how tight and precious,
whispering things I can’t make out over my own whimpers and the sound of fireworks in the distance.

  My head falls back and I look at the sky bursting to life in a clamoring of bright lights. My legs pull back further, pulling me tighter against his mouth and fingers. He knows what’s coming, and his movements become even more relentless, expertly pushing me to that brink that’s so pleasurable it almost hurts.

  I let go and his fingers dig into my skin, keeping my hips still as I try to buck against his face, now crying out as loud as I want.

  Slowly, he removes his fingers, licking them.

  I shiver.

  He curls up next to me. The dry grass tickling my shoulders and arms, putting his hand on my stomach.

  “How was that for a first kiss?”

  “Pretty good,” I whimper.

  I glance down at the EPIC bulge in his pants. “I think I know how we can make it better.”

  His eyes darken. “You’re gonna drive me insane.”

  “I better,” I tell him as I grab his shirt. This time I’m the one who pushes him down on the forest floor. As I straddle him I feel his magnificent cock aching to be released from the bondage of his pants. I look down into his face—a beautiful hurricane of agony and desire—and know it’s time to set him free.

  To set us both free.

  I yank the zipper down but Jesus Christ, it’s hard to unzip around an object that is that huge. After at least twenty seconds of listening to him groan I finally get his pants open.

  “Oh my god,” I whisper.

  His cock twitches from my appraisal.

  I look up into his face. This time, I’m worried. I knew it was big. I mean, I felt it and it felt big. But…I didn’t even know cocks came this big.

  “It’s alright,” he says. “I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want to.”

  I shiver, climbing on top of him. His hands once again move to my hips. I feel him brush against my slit.

  “Oh my god,” I whisper. Even the head of it is…

  He brushes a strand of loose hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear before returning his hand back to my hips. “Lily, look at me.”

  I open my eyes and find his. There’s a softness in them I’ve never seen before. It touches a special part of me deep inside—and no, I’m not just talking about my pussy.