by LuAnn McLane
“Ava?” Jesse asked in a near whisper. “You already know I won’t tell a soul.”
“I don’t want to talk about this, think about it . . . him, but now that he’s here in Sea Breeze . . .” she said in a broken tone. “I . . . God . . .”
“Maybe it will help to talk about it,” Jesse said gently. He could seriously kick the asshat’s ass for doing this to her.
Ava opened her eyes, pursed her lips together, and then sighed. “Maybe at some point I did subconsciously think he could be cheating, but whenever I asked where he’d been if he was abnormally late, he’d accuse me of being crazy or jealous, like him missing dinner was somehow my fault. And that his cheating was supposedly because I was . . . frigid. He even—” she began, but then stopped. She squeezed the water bottle so hard that it crackled.
“He even what?”
Ava remained silent for a moment. “He mentally tore me down, attacking my dancing, my weight, what I wore, you name it, and I started to believe the terrible things he used to say to me.”
Jesse felt his blood boil. “He sounds like the definition of a narcissist.” Manipulative bastard, he thought to himself.
Ava nodded slowly. “In my desire to please him, I concentrated on the dancing even harder, but we started to struggle because of the sensual nature of the choreography. I just couldn’t fake it any longer. Then I witnessed a nasty side of him I didn’t know existed.”
“Oh, Ava.”
“Don’t you see? I put my trust in him, believed all of the horrible things he constantly said to me. Jesse, I was going to marry the man,” she said, leaning forward. “What does that tell you about my ability to judge people?” She shook her head. “And what in the world do I know about love?” She raised her arms skyward. “So . . . I’m just not going to do that anymore.”
“Not do love?”
“Yes,” she said fiercely.
“Do you want my two cents?” Jesse asked, even though he was going to reassure her anyway.
“No.”
“I want to show you how totally kissable you are,” he said, knowing the water and the swim in the pool had sobered her up so she could choose to close the distance. “Kiss me.”
“You want me to kiss you?” she asked with big eyes. “Didn’t you hear what I just said?”
“Yes.”
“Then—”
“Please?”
“We’ve already established the mutual physical attraction,” Ava said slowly, her cheeks flushing a deeper pink. “I think I made that perfectly clear tonight.”
“I’m more than physically attracted to you, Ava. And I’m sure Arabella and Maggie let you know that I can’t stop talking about you.”
“They did. But Jesse, I just don’t know when I’ll be ready to put my heart on the line again. Knowing how you feel only makes me more concerned that I could hurt you if I end up deciding I’m not ready for another relationship.”
Jesse shoved his fingers through his hair. “Hey, after what you’ve just told me, I understand your hesitation and why you might have trouble trusting your instincts. And I don’t want this to be about me getting hurt. I’m aware of that, but it’s well worth the risk. So if you want to kiss me . . . kiss away, without worry.”
“I can’t,” she said in a tortured tone.
“Why?”
“Because I already know what kissing you feels like, tastes like.”
“What does it feel like, taste like?”
Ava blinked at him for a moment and then held his gaze. “Like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Like dark chocolate—decadent and satisfying but leaving me wanting more. There, are you satisfied?”
“Not at all.”
“Why? I answered your question,” she said, and for a second he thought she was going to splash him.
“Because you’re not kissing me.”
“I gave you plausible reasons why I shouldn’t. You said you’d be patient.”
“I’m trying. But damn, I don’t see it that way at all. If you look at it differently, you should give yourself plausible reasons why you should.”
“But I’m finally in a good place. Why would I risk it . . . reliving heartbreak?”
Once again, Jesse felt a hot flash of anger toward Anthony, but he nodded. “I get it. But when you’re ready to take a leap of faith, I’ll be here to catch you.”
Ava shook her head, clearly near tears, but just when Jesse opened his mouth to apologize for upsetting her, she closed the gap between them, wrapped her arms around his neck . . .
And she kissed him. Really kissed him. She tasted him with her tongue, delved her fingers into his hair, and pressed closer.
Groaning, Jesse pulled her onto his lap and she straddled him. He ran his hands over her bare back, loving the silky feeling of her skin. And God, her breasts grazing his chest made him want to undo the tie at her neck so he could take her in his mouth, licking, sucking, teasing until she was wild for him.
Ava rocked against him, causing his dick to get steely hard. He wanted her so badly that he ached.
A moment later she pulled her mouth from his and he held her.
“That’s why I can’t kiss you, Jesse. You turn me inside out.”
Jesse cupped her chin. “Oh . . . I thought you were taking the leap of faith.”
Ava smiled softly. “I can see in your eyes that you already care about me. I told you that I could suddenly freak.”
“And I said I’ll take that chance.” He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip. He wanted to kiss her again, but he could see the vulnerability in her eyes, so he held back. “Hey, I’ve got a pizza in the freezer. Want me to pop it in the oven?”
“It’s late. I should be going.”
“Neither of us can drive.”
“The trusty bike?”
“I’ll be honest. I don’t know if it would be safe for us to ride a bike either. You should stay here tonight.”
“Jesse . . .”
“Look, I want nothing more than to kiss you again.” He closed his eyes. “And more. But I also want to be your friend. And unless you want to Uber home, I think you should stay here tonight. Would you be okay with that?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Well, then come on inside. I can bake frozen stuff almost as well as I can reheat,” Jesse said, and he was relieved to see her smile.
“Okay,” she conceded, and he chalked it up as a win. She was beginning to trust him, and even though he wanted more, that was a damned good start.
“I’ll go get back into my clothes,” Ava said.
“Bummer.”
Ava chuckled. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a few minutes.”
“Okay.” Jesse couldn’t help but admire her cute butt as she stepped out of the hot tub. He scrubbed a hand down his face while he watched her walk across the yard. After what she’d shared with him about Anthony Grecco, he knew he was going to have to go slow and keep his promise to be patient. But his need to protect her was fierce. He hoped he and Anthony didn’t cross paths, because given half the chance, he’d smash his fist into Asshat’s face.
Jesse headed into the house and changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt before popping the pizza into the oven just as Ava entered through the back door. Although he missed the bikini, she managed to make even jeans and a pink T-shirt look sexy.
“Hungry?” Jesse asked.
“I am, even after all the junk food I consumed.” She nodded toward the pantry. “Sorry, I’ll replace everything.”
Jesse shrugged. “I’ve got a better idea. You can go grocery shopping with me and train me to buy healthy snacks.”
“Deal,” Ava said. “May I play something on the jukebox?”
“Of course. What are you in the mood for?”
“Mmmm, some Elvis.”
“Plenty of selections to choose from.” Jesse smiled as he watched Ava go through the selections with obvious delight. While he’d had women over at his place before, none of them had seemed to fit
right in the way Ava did. He chuckled when “Hound Dog” came on, but he wasn’t prepared for Ava to start singing along. Although he knew she was just goofing around, perhaps trying to bring levity back to the evening, she still had a kick-ass voice. “I thought you couldn’t sing!”
“Oh . . .” Ava waved a dismissive hand through the air and blushed a little.
“No, seriously.”
She shrugged. “I think I still have a bit of liquid courage in my blood.”
“Do you sing often?”
“In my car, in the shower, and when I’ve had three giant rum runners with floaters. Arabella’s fault.” She grinned.
“But you had fun, right?”
“Yeah, you were right about those two.”
Jesse walked over to join Ava by the jukebox. “I’m right about you too,” he said, putting his hands on her hips, wishing he could have a slow dance with her.
“Jesse . . .”
“Okay, I’ll stop. For now.” He nodded his head toward the surfboard island. “Come on, pizza’s almost ready.”
“Okay,” Ava said, but paused to make another selection, “Blue Suede Shoes.” But as he listened to her singing, “Can’t Help Falling in Love” started to play in Jesse’s head. Ava was right, he realized. She had the power to break his heart.
“Can I get you something to drink? Beer? Wine?”
“Water, please,” she replied as she sat down on the stool.
Jesse put a cold water and a piping-hot slice of pizza in front of her. She looked at the pizza and then took a sip of water.
“Don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty for eating pizza.”
“No. Well, maybe a little, but I’m letting it cool. I’m notorious for burning the roof of my mouth. My grandpa Gigi used to warn me when I just couldn’t wait to take a bite.”
“He makes amazing pizza?”
“Oh yeah,” she said, and then braved a bite.
“And I’m serving you frozen pizza.” Jesse groaned.
“It’s not frozen.”
“Not anymore!” Jesse laughed, joining her with a slice of his own. He asked her tons of questions about her childhood and family, and before long, the pizza was gone and Ava was yawning.
“Do you have a toothbrush?” she asked, suddenly shy again.
“Sure.”
“Where’s the guest bedroom?”
“It’s filled with stuff right now,” he said, remembering that he hadn’t finished clearing everything out that he’d meant to move to the storage shed last weekend. “I’ll sleep on the couch and you can take my bed.”
“No way.”
“I insist.”
Ava shook her head firmly. “Those long legs of yours won’t fit on your retro sofa.”
“Oh well.” Jesse shrugged.
Ava blew out a long sigh, but Jesse wasn’t about to give in on this one. “Okay,” Ava finally said. “We can share your bed, but you have to be a gentleman.”
“I’ll make a barricade down the middle, just like we’re in a 1950s movie,” he said with his best smile.
Ava hesitated again, but to his surprise, she nodded. “And could I trouble you for a big T-shirt to sleep in?”
“No trouble at all,” Jesse said, but thinking of her wearing one of his shirts made his brain go where it should not. This situation wasn’t going to be easy. He eyed the couch but then couldn’t resist having her in bed with him.
He could do this barricade thing—sure he could.
CHAPTER TEN
PILLOWTALK
Ava stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror while she brushed her teeth with a new toothbrush. She wore a big Florida Gators T-shirt that reached mid-thigh—it wasn’t exactly a sexy teddy, but she still felt a little bit naughty. Wearing Jesse’s shirt had more appeal than she wanted it to, but she couldn’t deny how much she was attracted to him, and, like he said, their chemistry went beyond the physical. Ah, but right now . . . the physical attraction was causing an ache that only Jesse could ease. And damn, she couldn’t deny that she was curious what it would feel like to make love to him. Asshat Anthony had really done a number on Ava’s confidence, but it would be totally wrong to sleep with Jesse just to gauge his reaction. If the hot-tub kiss was any indication . . . they would surely scorch the sheets. In truth, Ava already knew full well she was playing with fire. Not only staying at Jesse’s house but sleeping in his bed . . . She was basically asking for trouble.
Her earlier buzz had evaporated, so she couldn’t blame the booze for her decision to stay over. And hurting Jesse really was a concern. He might say he was willing to take the chance, but words and feelings didn’t always end up at the same place.
Ava tried to take her mind off her current predicament by looking around the retro-style bathroom. Small black and white tiles on the floor, a pedestal sink, and bold green tiled walls trimmed in black made it look like a bathroom straight out of the 1950s. The only modern addition was a walk-in shower.
Ava rinsed her mouth and inhaled a deep breath, suddenly second-guessing her ridiculous decision to sleep in a bed with a man who made her tingle from a mere touch. Tossing and turning all night was a given. Okay, she needed to march right in there and tell him she hadn’t been thinking straight and that she needed to get her ass home. With a lift of her chin, she boldly opened the door with good intentions in mind . . .
But Jesse stood there in black athletic shorts. He pointed to the barricade of rolled blankets he had made down the center of the bed. “I did it. You’re safely out of touching range.”
Ava forced a smile and tried not to stare at his deliciously bare chest . . . and in that heated moment she realized there were few things in life she wanted more than Jesse Heart. Few? She tried to think of one and came up blank. Zero. The answer was a great big goose egg.
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll have to blow the carefully constructed barricade to smithereens, even though I’m not really sure what smithereens are.”
“Pieces, fragments,” Ava whispered.
“Ah, then yes, smithereens it is,” Jesse said, holding her gaze.
Ava’s heart thudded so hard she thought surely it would beat right out of her chest like a cartoon character. She was totally smitten.
“Ava . . . should I get my detonator ready?” He raised his hand as if he had his thumb at the ready.
Ava looked at his blue eyes, shaggy hair, and sexy golden blond stubble shadowing his cheeks. His strong build, defined but not bulky, was her weakness . . .
No, he was her weakness.
“What are you thinking?” Jesse asked in a soft tone that soothed her nerves just a bit.
“That you’re my weakness.”
“Really? I think I could be your strength, Ava,” he joked, but then he fell silent for a moment. “Okay, there’s a bottle of water on the nightstand.”
“Thank you.”
“I aim to please.”
“Wait, no chocolate on the pillow?” she joked, but he arched an eyebrow and she gasped. “No . . .” She walked over and lifted the pillow, and sure enough, there was a little silver foil square—a chocolate mint. For some reason, the small gesture brought a lump to her throat. While she didn’t even want to think of Anthony, it occurred to her that he’d never made such a sweet gesture. She unwrapped the treat and popped it into her mouth.
“You look cute, by the way,” Jesse said, but then cleared his throat. “Okay, time for some shut-eye.”
“Shut-eye?”
“Well, I would say sleep, but I’m not sure how I’m going to do that with you lying in my bed.”
“Jesse, this—”
“Yeah, it’s a bad idea, but at this point we’re committed to it.”
“No—” Ava began, but he gestured to her side of the bed.
“Good night, Ava.” He hopped onto his side and squeezed his eyes shut so tightly that she grinned. When he made loud snoring noises she giggled.
Ava licked a bit of chocolate from the
corner of her mouth. She slid beneath the cool sheets and put her head on a soft feather pillow, facing him. Or, well, the barricade separating them. “It’s dark,” Ava whispered.
“Out here next to the ocean there aren’t any streetlights. And everyone knows to turn their lights off so as not to confuse wildlife, especially the sea turtles.”
“Oh . . .”
“Yes, my little city girl.”
“Do you ever open the windows to hear the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.”
“Yes, do you want me to?”
“Please.”
“You got it.”
Ava heard the rustle of the sheets and the soft patter of Jesse’s bare feet on the tile floor. He opened the windows across the room and then crawled back beneath the sheets. “Thank you,” she said, and then fell silent. She could hear him breathing, smell the spicy scent of his aftershave, and the realization that she could reach over the barricade and encounter his warm skin nearly made her groan. But she’d laid down the law, and she should stick to her guns. The problem was, she didn’t want to. No, she wanted to toss her guns out the window.
Ava gritted her teeth. She needed to be strong. Disciplined. “Dammit,” she whispered.
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing.”
“No, you said something.”
“I must have been talking in my sleep.”
“You’re not asleep.”
“I think I was. You woke me with your question.”
Jesse chuckled.
“You did!” Ava insisted, and then squeezed her eyes shut. “Now I’m going back to sleep,” she announced, determinedly turning away from him. But after a few minutes she turned back, since it was her preferred side. Still, sleep failed to come. Then she got hot, so she tossed the covers aside, only to feel cold a little while later, and so she pulled the covers back up to her chin. And Jesse, damn him, seemed to be fast asleep. Well . . .
Ava lay there very quietly, barely breathing, trying to listen to Jesse to see if he was indeed sleeping or faking. Seriously, didn’t it bother him that she was only an arm’s length away? Ava realized her lips were extended into a pout.
