by Lara Swann
“Yeah, at UCLA - though not the med school there. Doctoring is a little beyond me, I’m afraid. I’m an actor.” He flashes a winning smile, as if expecting that announcement to be met with more than the surprised blinking of my family.
Okay. Yes. How we actually met. That works.
I return my attention to my food, my heart-rate slowing as I resolve to let him deal with it. Josh has more charm than anyone has a right to, and can think on his feet far better than I can.
“Ahh…an actor. That’s…impressive.” She says it as if she can’t quite make up her mind, and I can almost feel her shift in attitude. “Are you in anything I’d know? I do love a good romantic comedy.”
Her tone has retreated from eager to polite but reserved and I belatedly realize how ‘actor’ sounds to them.
“Oh, I doubt it.” Josh laughs easily, dismissing the comment with a casual gesture. “I’ve picked up a few parts here and there, mostly in local productions - still getting experience, you know. Unless you’re a fan of independent cinema - I’m working with a friend on our own movie. That’ll be my big break, I just know it.”
I frown. Everything he just said is true, but…the way he’s said it…
“So it’s not really what you do then, is it?” Neil interrupts, attempting to cover the disdain in the question with light amusement. “Unless you’re making money from it, that is. So…how do you get by - while you’re…‘acting’?”
He says the last with a slight wave of his hand and I find my blood starting to boil on Josh’s behalf, waiting for him to cut their narrow-minded assumptions to pieces.
But Josh just shrugs pleasantly. “Oh, I work in a bar. But that’s just temporary.”
He gives them all a blank smile, looking for all the world like he didn’t even notice Neil’s insulting attitude - or the way half the table is now looking at him skeptically.
I have to stop myself from staring at him in shock.
Josh hates the assumptions that get made about him because he’s an actor who hasn’t had a major movie role yet - the instinctive way people look down on him and assume he’s just some lazy bastard who doesn’t want to get a ‘real job’, or a fool with a dream.
He works harder than anyone I know, and he’s landing more and more roles - his friend happens to be an award-winning director with studios already trying to snap up the independent movie they’re creating.
And he’s more than adept at making those exact arguments - firing back with oh, actually comments that shut the judgmental skeptics up in a heartbeat.
He never lets it go like this, and I feel a slow burn of humiliation on his behalf.
Neil and Beth exchange smug looks and I start fuming, ready to jump in and put an end to the things they’re obviously thinking about him.
Josh’s knee nudges mine under the table before I get a chance. I glance up at him, surprised, to see his eyes sparkling back at me and instead of the infuriated-angry expression I’d expected, there’s genuine humor there.
I process that for a moment, until grudging admiration slowly replaces my frustration, and I admit to myself that he’s playing this well. Well enough that even though I should know what’s going on, I’m having trouble keeping up.
Or maybe, for some reason, my impulse to defend Josh is overriding my basic common sense. Not a great thing when my whole plan is for my family to disapprove of him.
He gives me a half-smile and a slight quirk of his eyebrows, and I can tell he’s enjoying himself - sparkling with hidden laughter at my family and their misguided opinions. It warms me, and the last of my anger disappears as I enjoy our little, private joke at my family’s expense.
Glancing around at the table again, I give an ignorant smile of my own, aware that our exchange could easily be interpreted as typical loved-up behavior and silently encouraging the belief that his “I’m going to be an actor one day” dreams have me even more attracted to him.
“Yeah, isn’t it great?” I say with a small smugness of my own, laughing inside.
I dig into the food enthusiastically again, and steadfastly ignore the uncertain glances around the table and polite agreement.
“So what are the plans for the week?” I ask after a few moments, changing the subject before the silence can get too awkward.
And also to let me know exactly what I’m going to be subjected to, and should be planning for.
“Well Beth’s party is on Sunday, so we thought we’d have a quiet day tomorrow on the ranch - it’s been so long since the whole family has been together.” My Mom gives me a pointed glance and I refrain from rolling my eyes at her. “And there’s so much we need to catch up about.”
She smiles at Josh, who laughs easily. “I’m starting to feel like I should be expecting an interrogation!”
Mark, next to him, shakes his head and mutters under his breath. “Yeah, I hope Cassie warned you about that…”
I grin and slip my arm around Josh’s shoulders, leaning into him and trying to act like I care about introducing him to my family. “Ohh, you’ll be fine.”
“The kids are excited to get in the pool, anyway.” Maria adds, diverting the attention away from Josh for a moment. “It’ll be good for them to have a day running wild around the place.”
“Yeah, like we did when we were kids.” Mark answers enthusiastically. “Remember that time we were fighting with branches, Cassie, and I charged at you, only to fall straight into the river?”
“I remember who got the blame.” This time my laughter is genuine and I shake my head at him, while adding to Josh. “This story comes up every time we come back here.”
“Hey, you sidestepped - it was your fault.” Mark grins at me, and Josh laughs along with him.
I can tell why - the banter I share with Mark sometimes is very similar to the easy way Josh and I are together. For some reason, I’ve always gotten on better with guys, and Mark has always been the closest to me in terms of ambition and attitude.
“You’ll have one of your own soon, to relive all that with.” Maria says warmly, and Anne’s hands stroke her stomach instinctively.
She looks up with a radiant smile, and Mark smiles back at his wife with a slightly awed expression.
“Won’t be long until he’s chasing after Lucas and Ellie.” He says, that tone of wonder in his voice.
“Though I’m not sure I’m prepared by half.” Anne adds, laughing lightly.
That’s all it takes for the conversation to shift entirely to Mark and Anne’s plans for the arrival of the baby in a few months’ time. My attention wanders back to the remnants of my food and I can feel my eyes glazing over.
As much as I’m looking forward to another niece, I have absolutely nothing to contribute to the color of the walls of the nursery, or arguments over a name, or all the advice they clearly need to make it through the first few weeks as new parents. Which, of course, they’re totally going to remember months from now.
Josh’s arm slips over my shoulder and I glance up to see a knowing glint in his eyes. I laugh quietly and lean into him, enjoying his obvious knowledge of how I zone out in these sorts of conversations.
I’m not sure whether I should be disappointed about it, or just glad that the attention has shifted away from us, but either way it’s nice to have Josh’s understanding presence beside me. His hand is gently stroking my shoulder, and with the warm food inside me and that comforting gesture, I’m feeling far more relaxed than I thought I would be by this point.
“This isn’t so bad, you know.” Josh murmurs into my ear, leaning down to me. Echoing exactly what I was just thinking in that way he often has.
“Maybe not.” I give him a reluctant smile, and shrug. “Maybe having you here will make all the difference.”
His expression softens at that, and my mind drifts to whether it might be true - maybe, if my love life seems sorted to my family, they’ll get off my back and I’ll just be able to enjoy the good parts about being around them.
&nbs
p; I’m about to say so when I notice the way Josh is looking at me strangely - but Beth interrupts before I can ask about it.
“Cassie! You look half asleep there.” She announces, and everyone turns to look at me.
I blink and realize I’ve practically fallen into Josh’s body beside me, entirely distracted by lying against his shoulder and looking up at him.
“Hah, she’s not the only one.” Maria replies with a yawn of her own. “After the journey, and with the kids…and Cassie and Josh traveled up much further. Bed sounds like a good plan right about now.”
“Really?” Beth asks, a little incredulously. “But what about drinks in the game room? It’s not even late yet!”
“It’s a lot easier when you just got a lift up, Beth. We’re not all used to the college lifestyle anymore.” Mark adds wryly. “I certainly wouldn’t mind crashing out.”
I’m relieved at the general murmur of consensus. I don’t quite feel awake enough to deal with Beth when she’s tipsy - or with the direction that conversation might end up going. I hadn’t realized how sleepy I am.
“It’s our first night - and we’re here to celebrate my engagement.” Beth continues, her voice starting to pout. “I thought you’d all want to celebrate a little.”
“Well, let’s have a toast to your engagement then, Beth.” Maria suggests, always trying to be the peacekeeper. “And then save the hardcore celebrations for your party, hmm?”
Beth considers that for a moment, and appears to realize she’s not going to do any better.
“Okay, great.” She grins at everyone, and jumps up from the table. “I’ll get the champagne.”
“Already…” Dad mutters as she scampers off, his first contribution to the dinner conversation.
Mom fetches the glasses and within a few minutes Beth sets the cork flying with a giggle, bubbles streaming everywhere. She pours the champagne excitedly, clearly giddy about the coming week, and seeing her obvious happiness eases some of the irritation I always feel at her behavior, putting me in a slightly more generous mood.
It is her engagement. Let her enjoy it.
I’ve never found Beth easy to get on with, something about the way she acts getting under my skin every time we’re around each other - but I seem to be the only one, and I still haven’t worked out whether that’s because my whole family is completely blind, or I’m just a bitch.
The glasses circulate, and Maria improvises some fizzy orange juice for Anne when it becomes clear that champagne is the only thing Beth brought back from the kitchen.
Mark chuckles as he receives his glass, shaking his head at Beth. “You always did manage to drag your birthdays out for days too, little sister. I see some things don’t change.”
“You have to make the most of these things.” She flashes a spoiled grin at him, then turns it on Neil. “Neil’s been upholding that tradition quite nicely, too…and that’s one thing that won’t change when we’re married.”
Neil gives a deep laugh and moves in to kiss her, before raising his eyebrow dramatically. “Why settle for only days, baby?”
She giggles happily and then turns to us all, looking over at my Dad first, who belatedly realizes something is required of him.
“Right, yes, well…” He clears his throat and looks at us all. “To Beth and Neil’s engagement, then.”
He raises his glass and we all do the same, toasting Beth and Neil and then following as he takes a large swallow.
“You’ll have to do better than that for the wedding speeches.” Mom mutters to him, then gives Beth a big smile. “We hope you’ll both be very happy, darling.”
“Ohh, I know we will.” She giggles again, taking Neil’s arm and leaning into his side.
I feel Josh’s arm around my waist in the same moment and it feels momentarily strange to know we’re reflecting their coupley behavior. Then he leans over and kisses my forehead, clinking his glass to mine, and I almost forget that all we’re doing is mirroring them. I flush slightly, though I think it must be the champagne after the long drive.
We look up at each other, smiling, but when I meet his eyes, it’s not the warmth of a shared joke that I feel between us.
I break that eye contact and move in closer, leaning my head against his shoulder the way we often do, and letting his body almost support mine.
“You’re right.” I murmur gently, “You’re a very good actor.”
I’m not sure whether I’m trying to tell him that, or remind myself - Josh is very good at creating exactly the right atmosphere to completely suck his audience in and make them forget reality for a little while. I just hadn’t quite anticipated how…confusing…that might feel to be in the middle of.
We stand and make a little muted conversation as we all finish our champagne, but it’s obvious that most of us have used up the last of our social energies for the evening - and Beth’s focus seems to become more and more absorbed by her fiance as she drinks the last of her champagne, moving closer into him and not quite hiding their wandering hands well enough.
Which at least means she doesn’t object when we finally start saying goodnight and disappearing for the evening.
Josh and I get out of there relatively unscathed, and we walk up the large, elegant stairway with Maria and her husband John.
“You two are down towards the end, next to Beth and Neil’s honeymoon suite.” She points out helpfully for us, then gives me a small smile. “I think Mom assumed that putting both of you young and energetic, childless couples together at the opposite end from my kids might mean that any…noise…doesn’t disturb the kids.”
I blink at her, taking a moment to work out what she’s talking about - and then I blush. I honest-to-god blush about it.
I’m no stranger to the concept of sex, and I never react like that. But. Damn. I don’t want to be thinking about sex with Josh. And I definitely don’t want to be thinking about my sister thinking about it.
“Great, thanks.” I say abruptly, then take Josh’s hand and practically drag him along after me.
I hear Maria chuckle behind me, which makes me feel even hotter, and I take a breath to force myself to slow down. I steadfastly refuse to look at Josh, knowing he’ll be having a field day with that reaction. He’d be the last to think me innocent, but somehow it’s different around my family.
When we finally make it into the room and I can lock out everyone else behind me, I sink against the wall with relief.
“What was that about?” Josh is clearly trying not to laugh at me. “I’ve never seen you act so prudish.”
I shoot him a glare, then run my hands through my hair. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve never had to deal with my family making stupid comments before. It…took me by surprise. And I’m tired.”
The universal answer for any bizarre reaction - tiredness. But in this case, it’s probably true. It was a long drive, and then a dinner that felt almost as long at times, and…there’s no other reason for it. As Josh says, I’m not shy about these things.
I step past him in the small entranceway to the room and take a look around. Unexpectedly, a small smile comes to my lips. It’s almost exactly as I remember this place being - over-large, decadent furnishings and homely style choices.
I take a seat in the stuffed chair by the fireplace and curl myself up into it as I used to do as a child. It’s even big enough that I still feel like I’m sinking into the thing. Josh comes to sit opposite me, swinging his legs up onto the sofa and lying back.
“Well, thank god that part is over.” I say after we’ve had a few moments of silence to enjoy and recuperate from having so many people around us.
Josh laughs again. “It wasn’t that bad, Cassie. And I think we did a good job of it.”
He flashes me a smile, and reluctantly I offer one back.
“You did a good job of it.” I agree. “Yeah, I think they’re going to fall for whatever story you spin them, Josh. Hell, I almost believed you.”
“What, that I hav
e a terrible memory and no future as an actor?” He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know whether I should be offended…”
“No, not that.” I say without thinking, then come to a grinding halt as I realize what I had meant, before laughing and shaking my head, glad that this is Josh, the guy I can share anything with - even this absurdity. “I could’ve almost believed we were actually a couple back there.”
He snorts, and then gives me his most charming smile. “I knew it! You’re finally going to see why all those other girls can’t resist me, babe.”
Yep, you’re immune again.
I laugh, thinking of all the times I’ve mocked him for his far-too-obvious seduction attempts that nonetheless work every time. I sink deeper into the chair and let my eyes drift closed a little as his easy banter takes away some of the tension that had built up from being around my family at dinner…and from the weird way I’d started acting.
It seems to take far too much effort to open them again a few moments later, when I realize that I haven’t even responded. I catch him looking at me when I do, a curious expression on his face that I’m too tired to process.
Instead, I shrug. “You know, I think I’m going to have to be boring tonight and head straight to bed. I think that drive took it out of me worse than I thought. That, or the champagne finished me off.”
“Really?” He asks, disappointment lacing his voice. “No hot, noisy sex then?”
I kick my shoe in his direction at the comment, but can’t help laughing again. “Definitely not.”
I stand up and stretch, then glance towards the blissful, waiting bed. He follows my gaze and we both seem to realize it at the same time.
“There’s only one bed.” I say, somewhat stupidly. “Damn.”
I walk over to it, as if that might somehow change the situation, then glance back at Josh with a little more awkwardness than I should feel. “Are we…sharing?”
His mouth curves up and his eyes are laughing as he looks at me, seemingly no concern about this at all. “Yeah, I think we’ll have to, Caz. I’d feel too bad if you ended up on the couch.”
