by Lara Swann
We stand there like that for a long time, time disappearing between us.
Not saying anything. Not needing to.
Until I finally step back, take a deep breath and start feeling close to normal again.
I glance over at Matthew, and the anger that I should have been feeling this whole time finally penetrates through the shock and fear.
“My fucking Mom…” I say bitterly.
“She doesn’t seem to pick ‘em well.” Josh says, his tone darker than his words.
She told him I’d had a crush on him all these years. That was what he was acting on.
It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t say it.
I thought I knew everything about Josh.
But I’ve never seen him like he was when he confronted Matthew. I didn’t even know he could be violent.
And I don’t know what he’d do if I told him that this happened because my Mom is a fucking idiot.
I just want to forget it ever happened.
“Yeah.” I simply agree instead. “I know.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close, turning me away from Matthew sprawled on the ground behind us.
“Should we…should we do something?” I ask uncertainly, looking back. “About him?”
I can’t bring myself to actually care that he’s alright, but I’ve never just…left someone like that, either.
“I already did.” Josh says grimly, and I get a confusing jolt of satisfaction.
He leans in to kiss my temple, then takes my hand while somehow keeping me just as close, our bodies bumping against each other and giving me the reassurance - and contact - that makes me feel grounded again.
“C’mon. Let’s go back to that diner.” He says. “I’ll buy you some ice cream.”
I laugh a little, happy to find the lightness back in my chest. “I don’t need you to, you know. I’m fine now, I promise.”
“Maybe I need to, Cassie.” He smiles over at me, and squeezes my hand as we walk away.
I feel that smile all the way through me.
Chapter Ten
Cassie
“Fuck, it’s cold in here!” Josh stops in the open doorway, then heads straight towards the AC unit.
I follow him inside and immediately see his point, a wave of cold air hitting me.
It’s late now, and the daytime warmth of the sun has all but disappeared - turning what should be a welcome coolness into something far less comfortable.
I wrap my arms around my body to fight off a shiver and look over at the AC myself.
“What did you do to this thing, Caz?” Josh frowns at the panel, trying to shut it off.
“No idea.” I say. “I don’t know how that stuff works - just pressed random buttons until the AC came on.”
He gives me a disbelieving look and I laugh at the expression, moving over to my suitcase and sifting through my clothes to find a pullover and shrugging into it.
“You were the one that wanted it on this morning. I was just helping you out.” I point out.
He mutters something about that under his breath and turns back to it.
I wait for a minute, and when there’s no let up in the stream of chilled air, come to stand behind him. He flicks through the various settings as I watch over his shoulder.
It always irritates the the hell out of him when I do that, but I’ve never been very good at just waiting.
“Are you just going to hover there?” He asks, shooting an annoyed glance in my direction as predicted.
“Would you rather I make suggestions?” I retort.
We both know how those tend to end.
I grin at the exasperated look on his face, and then come up behind him as he turns back to it, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind and resting my head on his shoulder.
It’s just for warmth and because it’s comfortable, of course, but when he squeezes my hand where it rests against his hard abs, I kiss his neck.
My family aren’t here to see us, of course. It’s just an instinctive gesture.
But it’s one that I can’t stop myself from continuing, nuzzling him and running a trail of kisses up to where I nibble on his earlobe.
He stills underneath me, and I can feel the hitch in his breathing even as I grow uncomfortably aware of the way I start aching. All sorts of illicit images come into my head - the kind that have been appearing all week.
Josh jumping out from the pool, water flying everywhere and running down his hard, slick muscles.
Josh bending down to kiss me, eyes sparkling.
Josh pushing me against a wall and almost - almost - pressing against me with lust and passion and desire.
The kind I’ve been feeling far too often recently.
“I…” Josh breaks my train of thought, clearing his throat. “You know, I don’t think I can fix this.”
Fuck it. He’s your best friend. Not your boyfriend.
That’s just a pretense. Just for this week.
I force my mind to shut off all those images, trying to pay attention to our current problem.
But I don’t move away from him. And when I speak, my mouth is still right next to his ear.
“I think it’s too late to ask anyone else for help.” At least I speak at a normal volume.
I don’t whisper. I don’t murmur. I don’t do anything that could be misconstrued as seductive.
Except for, maybe, the way I’m standing. Except for not wanting to stop touching him.
“Yeah, I didn’t see any lights on when we came in.” Josh agrees.
That had been deliberate. There hadn’t really been any reason to hang around in Yuma - there’s certainly not much to get up to there - but after we’d retreated to the diner for ice cream, we’d just…stayed there.
Talking about anything and everything, the way we’ve always done. Neither of us were really in any hurry to come back.
After what happened with Matthew…we both needed some down time. A chance to recover and settle.
Which seems to have worked. I feel fine now. Still pissed off and annoyed about it all, but the momentary wave of terror and anxiety is gone.
I think we were probably hoping that we wouldn’t have to see my family, too. It’s been nice to have a day to ourselves, and I didn’t want it ruined by all the questions and explanations that they’d demand. And…I’m not sure if I see my Mom right now, I’m not sure I’d be able to stop myself from exploding at her.
But it does mean that when it comes to this, we’re stuck.
“I mean, we could always cut the power cord…” Josh cuts through my thoughts again, and I give an amused snort.
“Hah, yeah, my Dad would kill me if we have to pay for damages. It’s not as desperate as all that.” I shake off another shiver, and add. “Definitely retreating into bed though - with all the blankets.”
Josh grins. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
I laugh, and we start throwing whatever spare covers we can find on the bed, thinking back to the other times we’ve had under-cover parties - eating pizza and watching trash TV, mostly.
I don’t get much of a break from my studies, but whenever I’ve been super stressed-out and about to burst, Josh has always had the perfect solution for me.
We make quick work of that, spend as little time as possible getting ready for bed in the cold room, and pile on double layers of night clothes.
“I bet I look totally sexy right now.” Josh grins at me, striking a pose in the tight t-shirt he’d thrown over the loose pyjama pants he’d packed.
His tone is mocking, but I have to take a moment as I’m struck by how fucking sexy he is - even like that. I can see the outlines of his hard chest, his biceps are bulging out of the stretchy material and even the lightweight pants suit him, practically inviting me to rip them off his casual, lounging form.
Fuck it.
“Mhmm, looks like you’ve got your next club outfit picked out.” I throw a sweater at him and shake my head. “Here - th
at’ll complete the look.”
He takes a step closer and then pulls me into him, throwing me off balance so that I land in his arms, laughing.
“Maybe you complete the look.” His smile widens, and I’m suddenly aware of how close that devastating mouth is.
My head tilts up, eyes wide, and I know I’m being ridiculous…but I can feel every inch of the space between us, and I’m struggling to catch my breath - not from the fall, either.
Fucking stop it, Cassie!
I pull back, breaking the moment, and laugh again, looking down at myself. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m adding to your charm, dude.”
I’ve stolen his spare pair of pants, and my delicate nightgown is trailing over the top of them, and I don’t think I could be any more mismatched.
“I don’t know, Cassie…” He gives me a long, slow glance. “Must be fun knowing you can look hot in whatever you throw on.”
The air between us keeps tightening, and I can’t work out whether I’m just imagining things.
I catch myself before saying something very similar about him, then shake my head and step firmly away.
“Yeah, sure, Josh.” I roll my eyes at him and move over to the bed. “I’m cold and I don’t give a fuck about anything other than warming up right now.”
Except, ‘you look hot’ lingers in my mind anyway.
Irritated at myself, I push back the overloaded covers on the bed and start wriggling in, barely able to move under the weight of everything we piled on top.
He shuffles into his side and we lie there completely still for a few moments.
“I can barely move.” I laugh a little, trying to wriggle underneath it all. Turning onto my side seems impossible right now, and I’m trying not to create any extra gaps that might let the cool air in. “At least it’s cozy.”
Or at least it would be, if it wasn’t still so damn cold.
C’mon. Warm up.
I give it a few minutes, curling up into a ball and trying to get my body warmth all in one place, feeling Josh stretching out beside me, but even with all the blankets on top of us, I’ve got goosebumps all down my skin.
“I’m still cold.” I say eventually.
“Me too.” He agrees. “Fucking AC.”
He reaches for my hand under the covers, breaking the unspoken boundary between his side and my side, and that’s the only invitation I need to wriggle over to him and lay my head against his chest, latching onto him for heat.
His arm comes around my back and pulls me closer, enveloping me in the kind of warmth that I was craving. I sigh just a little, relaxing.
It’s not like we haven’t done this sort of thing before - cuddling together while on the sofa, drinking wine, or in the bed watching late night movies. We do that all the time.
But there hasn’t been any of that on this trip. We didn’t discuss it, but it just didn’t feel…right.
Now, though.
Now I’m regretting ever feeling that it might have been awkward, happy to have his warmth and company back - especially in the cold room.
“Oh thank god.” I moan, as I finally start feeling like I might warm up.
He smiles at me, kissing my forehead, and I’m suddenly aware of the way my body is pressed up against his. Instead of the pure source of heat I’d seen it as, I feel the firm muscles sliding against my body.
The way I’m rubbing my leg up and down his - for friction, for warmth, but now…for something else. My arms stop clinging to him and shivering, and instead one hand glides slowly down his chest, enjoying the hard muscle there, obvious even through the t-shirt he’s wearing.
Then my hand goes up, underneath that top, touching his skin. I can’t help myself. I’ve been looking this whole trip. And now I’m so close…I want to feel it.
He doesn’t move for a long moment, saying nothing as I explore and my pussy pulses with the need I’ve been suppressing this whole time.
Then he shifts - his large body moving us both as he twists and takes me in his arms. Impossibly, he brings me even closer, our limbs twisting and tangling together as we lie on our side facing each other, his arms wrapping around me.
It’s blessedly warm, but it’s…so much more than that.
His hand runs across my cheek, and then he’s kissing me.
Not like he has before. Not a display. Or a joke. Or a point he’s making.
Not even the hot kisses we continued sharing today, almost casually. Purposefully ignoring them.
No, this…this is deliberate. Intentional.
He holds my head in both of his hands, and his whole body leans in. Our mouths meet and join, and our tongues dance with heat as our bodies start writhing together. I gasp and moan and don’t even try to stop myself, and I finally hear him groan for me. Hear the weight of his own desire and need.
It makes my pussy clench in lust, and I nibble on his lower lip as the world narrows to just this moment. Just this feeling.
This overwhelming pressure, that finally feels like it’s going to burst.
That one heated, demanding kiss - and then we can’t stop.
Josh runs his hand down my arm, then around my hip until he’s cupping my ass, bringing me ever closer.
He murmurs my name and it sends shudders through me, every part of me lighting up with a fire I didn’t want to know existed.
We keep kissing, our lips meeting and breaking apart as our bodies move against each other. I start exploring him with small, cautious touches, becoming more insistent with every moan he steals from me.
Oh, fuck.
We’re trying to twist and turn in the heavy sheets, and Josh reaches up to throw half of them off. He takes my head in his hands again and I get one moment to see his heated gaze before his lips press to mine again. I haven’t made out like this for as long as I can remember.
Quick, one-night flings when I have the chance for a little stress relief, sure.
But taking time, kissing like it’s more important than breathing, feeling his ravenous gaze all over me as we can’t stop touching each other…
My god.
I see his face. Josh’s face. My best friend. And it blows my mind for a moment.
He’s handsome. I’ve seen that whenever I’ve looked at him.
But now…here…I don’t see it anymore.
I feel it.
Overwhelming. Powerful.
Like a blow to the stomach that leaves me breathless and panting and aching for more.
My pussy clenches tight, and as if he can sense it, I feel his thigh there, pressing between my legs.
I let out a moaning, desperate noise, and he twists us so that I’m on my back. His hands run down my body, showing me how much he wants me as he sets every sense alight.
I tug at his t-shirt, wanting it off. I need to see and feel him - and he obliges in the next moment, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the floor. I reach up to run my hands over his rugged, hard flesh and I moan in appreciation.
God damn.
I’ve spent so long mocking him for how sculpted and ripped he keeps his body and now…god, now I can’t imagine anything better.
His fingers slide up my thighs, under my silky nightgown, and they leave a trail of fire behind them. I moan and buck into him, I can’t help myself, and the smile that he gives me as he raises a brow is dark and heated.
I nod immediately, knowing what he’s asking.
I’m not cold at all anymore. I feel hot and flushed with passion, and every time our skin touches, sparks seem to fly straight through me.
That’s all it takes for us to start tearing off the bed clothes we’d scrabbled around looking for, and then it’s just us.
Just Josh and I.
Skin against skin. Nothing else between us.
That startles me out of myself for just one moment. Just enough to look up at him, wide-eyed.
“Josh…what are we…” I breathe.
I don’t even know whether I want to ask it. Whether I want to ri
sk this stopping for anything at all.
“I’m kissing you…” He answers, doing it as he talks, stealing my breath again and making me moan up into him. “Because I want to, Cassie.”
The power and entitlement there sends another shudder through me, that blissful feeling of being so desired overtaking me.
By Josh.
My Josh.
The guy I’d never even thought would—
“…and touching you…” His hands glide over my open, exposed body, coming to a stop over my breasts and curving around them, teasing and touching and tempting until I’m crying out for more.
My pussy is pulsing hard now, tensing with such a deep-seated need I wonder how it will ever be satisfied, and then his mouth finally leaves mine.
“…and tasting you…”
Those beautiful, firm lips drift down my body, kissing, suckling, nibbling as I clutch onto him for dear life. His hands tighten around my tits and squeeze and pull and I nearly explode off the bed from how good it feels. My legs wrap around his hips, wanting—needing—more, but he slips through them easily, his mouth moving ever lower.
He looks up at me from between my legs, and I widen them instinctively, my pussy wet and glistening and waiting for him. I swear I can feel his breath over it, and it spasms in response.
“Unless…you don’t want me to, Cassie?” His voice is so deep now, darkened with lust and so inviting that I think he could convince me of anything. “Do you want me to stop?”
I whimper, then shake my head hard.
“No…no, don’t stop. Please…” It escapes me in a whisper.
His smile could come from the devil himself, and his eyes…his eyes are pure fire.
I shudder, and then his mouth is on me and I can’t think anymore. Can’t work out what we’re doing, can’t question it.
Can only feel, as his tongue touches and teases and strokes me in all the right ways.
Fucking hell.
His hands grip my thighs hard, parting them and not giving me any reprieve from the intensity of his tongue and mouth on me. He starts off with long, slow strokes, tantalizing every sensitive fold of my entrance, then wraps around my clit and suckles and flicks it until I think I’m going crazy.
I clutch the sheets hard, throwing my head back into the pillow, eyes rolling back as I moan and cry out with the need building so hard and so fast inside me. I can feel the desperate heat, the tension, the energy of it all, rushing through my stomach and down, lower, further…
