That was when things had gotten crazy for Chris, and her too as he fielded offers to play professionally. They’d spent the months leading up to the wedding weighing options, excited for the possibilities. Being with Chris had defined her since she was fifteen. She’d graduated high school a year early because he’d gone to college and struggled academically. So she’d joined him at school, done his homework for him, let him copy her on tests. Even got a business degree because that’s what he was studying.
And she hadn’t minded, because she never planned to be anything but Chris’s wife and mother to his children. She’d wanted a big family, as many kids as they could have. His career would be lucrative and she would be able to stay home and devote herself to her babies. Then reality hit like a brick wall on what was supposed to be the most important day of her life.
Chris decided he didn’t need her anymore. He had his degree, his basketball contract. She had the harsh knowledge she could be taken for a fool. He’d said she was too needy in bed and he wasn’t going to go his whole life without another blow job. He’d made it about her, when really it had been about money. If they were married and divorced he’d have to compensate her in some way, but you can dump a girlfriend, even one who made you her everything, even one who’d loved you with all she had for five years, and not have to pay for it at all. He had his future, his friends, while she’d been left with the crumbled ruins of her hopes and dreams.
She’d learned a hard lesson and wouldn’t make the same mistake again. No matter the orgasmic haze Scott had her living in, she wasn’t about to rearrange her life for anyone. Once upon a time she focused her entire life plan on a man, and that had been a very unhappily ever after. Even with as sexy as Scott was, or how storybook perfect his life seemed to be, if she tried to be more than friends with him, she’d be living his life, not her own.
With a sigh she trudged back down the stairs, setting the books on the end table as she checked the windows for him. The strange rumbling sound coming from the shed all day had stopped, and the fire had burned down to almost nothing, making the quiet almost deafening. Rather than go crazy, she decided to check for him outside. She’d nearly frozen the last time she went out on the porch, but she’d take that over the what-ifs racing through her mind.
She climbed into his tent of a parka and shoved her feet into the rubber boots he kept in the entry. Wind pushed at the door when she opened it, greeting her with an icy bite. How was it possible for it to be colder now than a few hours ago? The storm needed to ease up, not get worse. How else could she make her escape from this winter wonderland and the man determined to make her face the past and feel all the feelings she’d rather leave buried?
The snow blew onto the porch, having covered all but the top step. The path he’d spent all morning clearing had nearly filled in. The blanket of white covering everything in sight had her feeling powerless and desperately alone. And still, she couldn’t see him, didn’t hear a thing except a quiet tapping. She strained to listen and realized it was the sound of snow falling. The world was so still she could hear the snow landing on the drifts.
She called out his name, and waited for a response that never came. He’d surely hear her, unless something had happened to him.
Maybe he’d hurt himself with that giant shovel.
Or a wild animal had attacked him.
Did they have bears here? Or wolves?
Or maybe he’d built an igloo to avoid being near her.
She was freezing, but her entire body broke out in a cold sweat. How would 911 even get up here? She clutched the front of the giant coat and grabbed the handrail, the snow-covered steps seeming more like a sledding hill than a way to get out of the house. The first step was easy to find, but the next seemed to drop down forever, and on the third the snow was so deep it fell into her boots. The icy cold tensed every muscle in her body. She didn’t want to go back in without him, but she didn’t want to keep going either.
She called for him again, not knowing what else to do. How was she going to help him when she could barely take care of herself? She screamed his name again, her throat scratching with the effort. She heard a shuffle and a thump, and snow scratched at her bare legs as she made her way to the path he’d cleared. She’d trudged halfway to the shed when he stepped out of the open doorway carrying a metal something or other in one hand and a canvas contraption full of wood in the other.
“You shouldn’t be out here, especially without pants.” He stepped forward, snow landing on the gray knit cap on his head.
She opened her mouth to speak but didn’t know what to say. “Go on now, inside.” It wasn’t until he was right in front of her that she found the energy to move. She started back toward the cabin, the snow in her boots melting to soak her socks. “What happened to your cookies?”
“They were done hours ago.” Her teeth began to chatter, her whole body starting to shake. She trudged on, each step like walking in ice water. Falling snowflakes scratched against her face as she walked.
“What possessed you to come out in this?”
“The fire went out.” True, and it saved her from confessing that she needed him.
“I was on my way in. I never thought you’d come off the porch, let alone start walking.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her off the ground, holding her to him as he climbed the steps. He dropped the bag of wood, letting the metal thing clang to the ground. He jostled her and the boots came right off, then he plopped her on the doormat. “Take off anything wet and go sit on the hearth.”
Her hands shook as she stepped inside, the warmth of the cabin filling her lungs. She sat on the bench by the door and peeled off the socks, then unzipped the coat and tried to hang it on the hook. Her fingers shook too much to get it there, so she let it drop and shuffled to the fireplace. The flat stones were still warm, though the fire was only the charred remains of a log, the inside glowing orange, the outside nothing but soot and ash.
Scott pushed through the door, then shoved it close and latched the bolt at the top. Annoyance radiated from his every move as he picked up her discarded coat and socks, shaking his head as he sat down to take off his boots.
She studied the floor so she wouldn’t have to see the disappointment in his gaze. She pushed her hands flat against the warm stone, and tried to force her body to stop shaking. She didn’t have any body heat to hold in.
“Damn it, Marissa. Are you really that cold?” Suddenly he was right there, his hands roaming her body, squeezing like he was checking her for broken bones. He took a blanket from one of the couches and draped that over her. “Can you wiggle your toes?”
She tried, but she had no idea if she was doing it because she couldn’t feel them.
“Good. From now on I don’t want you to go outside without me.”
“Whenever I’m told not to do something, it makes me want to do it more.”
He stared at her as if she were speaking a foreign language. “Fine. Please don’t go outside alone. It’s snowing and all the paths are snowed over, which makes it too easy to get lost.” He turned his attention to the fire, adding logs and sticks and somehow making the flames grow. “Nothing is going to happen to me. But even if I wasn’t here you’d be fine. The cabin has everything you need. You don’t need to be a one-woman rescue team. Especially in a dress. Didn’t you bring pants with you? I gave you sweats this morning.”
“No, I didn’t bring any pants, and yours don’t fit.”
“Staying warm is more important than fashion.”
“You’re a foot taller than me, Sasquatch. We can’t share clothes.” She felt like a child about to get grounded and sent to bed without supper.
“Then cinch them up and cut a foot off the legs.”
Even though she craved the heat of the fire, she stood and faced him. “I don’t know what the rules are with snow. I grew up two miles from the Pacific Ocean. It only snowed once, and it melted before the bus picked us up for school. I’m trying to deal
with all of this the best I can.”
“Hold on, where in the world did you find pirate pants?”
“I’m not playing dress up. These are a pair of your basketball shorts.”
“Interesting choice.” Oh, he better not be smirking. “I think sweats would be better.”
“If you’ll give me a ride to the mall, I’ll pick up something to cover my legs.” She flashed a smile meant to telegraph Back off. “Do you have any idea how these shorts are staying up right now?”
“No.” He dragged the word out until the answer turned into a question.
She reached behind her, undid the chip clip, and handed it to him. The shorts started to sag immediately.
He let out a low whistle. “I’m going to put some soup on for lunch and then change into dry clothes. I want you to stay here until you’ve completely warmed back up.”
She nodded and watched as he started lunch, making her feel completely useless. She should have thought to make lunch instead of panicking about where he was. She liked to be the one taking care of things, not being taken care of.
Scott’s laughter rang through the house and he raced out of his bedroom wearing nothing but his unbuttoned jeans. He pointed at her, then opened the door under the stairs and stepped inside. She’d assumed it was a closet, but from the sound of his feet slapping on wood she guessed it was stairs leading to the basement. He reappeared a minute later with black pants, boots and a coat half the size of the one she’d been wearing.
“I forgot I’d brought up extra gear when we had the bachelor party. Pete is a medium, which I know is still too big for you but much smaller than my stuff.” He laid it on the table. “Put that on with a T-shirt and we’ll be good to go.”
“Go where?” Why did he have to look so delicious when she was annoyed with him?
“After lunch we’re going snowshoeing.”
He had to be joking, but he looked way too serious. “Oh no, I’m not going back out there.”
“You can’t let a little snow scare you.” As he stood there she realized his jeans were barely on. They’d slipped so low on his hips the only things keeping them on were the curve of his ass and his dick.
“I think you’ll like it. And if you do, I can show you some of my favorite spots.”
“I can’t hear a word you’re saying right now.” She wished she could sex it up, do something about her crazy hair and bag lady layers of clothes.
“What?”
“You’re standing there like sex on legs. All I want to do is go over there and yank your pants down.”
He gave her that naughty grin and she hoped he’d thought better of his ban on sexytimes.
“It’s not fair to show off the base of your cock if I don’t get the rest.”
“You’ll get what’s coming to you.” He shook his head and headed back into his bedroom.
“That’s what I want,” she called after him. “You coming to me.”
7
“I can’t believe you’d rather be out in a blizzard than inside playing who’s better in bed.” Marissa sat beside him on the steps he’d just cleared and wrinkled her freckled nose as he shoved the knit cap onto her head.
“There’s a break in the snow. It’s the perfect time to give you a tour of the property.” Not to mention the cold would keep his sex drive in neutral. Maybe. He stood, then turned to face her and planted his snowshoes. He held out both hands. “Remember what I said, snowshoeing has a wider stance than walking. Spread your legs.”
She did as he asked and grinned up at him. “Any time you want my legs spread, I’m game.”
He pulled her to her feet. “Are you always this naughty?”
“You started it this morning with that cream bit.” She shook her head, her auburn curls spreading over the jacket. “You inspire me. Though in those pants I can’t tell if I’m inspiring you.”
“You’re entirely too focused on my pants. Let’s take a couple of steps, get you used to the gait. This uses a different set of muscles than running or walking, so it takes a while to get used to.” He held on to her hand as she made her first halting steps.
“I can do it.” She grinned up at him, but didn’t release his hand. “I’m not sure why I’d want to when I could be warm and cozy inside, but I can do it.”
“Cabin fever. If you weren’t so obsessed with getting in my pants, you’d probably feel it already. It’s an antsy feeling to get out and do something.”
“I don’t know that I’d get that. I’m inside most of the time anyway. The worst parts of my day are running to my car in the rain.”
He remembered how stifling that life had been. “I don’t know if I can be with someone who never wants to leave the house.”
“If we were having sex it wouldn’t be a problem for you, I promise. Though if you worked sex into our outdoor time, I’m sure I could be persuaded.” Shameless flirting distracted her from her footwork and she caught the edge of one snowshoe on the other. He kept her upright, but just barely.
“Keep your legs spread.”
Her blue eyes sparked with mischief. “How do I get you to say that to me naked?”
“You decide when I’m going to come see you in Portland.” He led her toward the hill that rose behind the cabin. “When you need to go uphill or downhill you turn your feet sideways. It gives you a wider base. When you get more comfortable you can try it at a run.”
“You want me to run in these things?”
“Eventually you’ll want to. It won’t be awkward forever.” He helped her get to the crest of the hill, her breathing heavier than he anticipated. It had been a long time since he’d led a beginner. When he guided a tour he opted for the experienced routes.
“I think if I tried to run, I’d wind up tumbling down the hill and turn into one of those giant snowballs like in cartoons.”
He scooped some snow into his gloved hand and squeezed, the snow compacting down. Heavier than earlier, but still not dense enough for snowmen and igloos. He didn’t fight the grin as he thought of how Marissa would make naked snowmen and want to fool around in an igloo. He lobbed the snowball at her and smiled as it splattered over her coat.
“You hit my boob!” She pressed a hand to her chest and grinned. “Now you have to kiss it and make it better.”
That image flashed in his mind. “Leave your jacket on, sugar.”
“You’re no fun.” She toyed with the zipper.
“I’ve made you come twice today. I think that’s the definition of ‘fun.’” The temperature really ought to be doing more to keep his dick in line.
“See, that’s why I prefer bed sports to snow sports. Because when I lose, I come.”
“That tends to be how it works.” The cold made her cheeks pink, highlighting her delicate features. Even wearing his hat and oversized clothes she was so damned pretty.
“My chick license might get suspended for telling you this, but that’s not how it usually is. The dude gets off and then falls asleep. You, my friend, have special talents.”
“You keep on thinking that.” His gut clenched; he really should have pursued her earlier, before she had to experience the worst men had to offer. “There’s a difference between a girl you’re fucking and someone you want to be with. When you want a woman to stay with you, you make sure she comes first. Then she’ll want to do it again, and again.”
“That’s so . . . mercenary. I like it. But I think orgasms should be equal opportunity. I feel guilty that we’re so out of sync.”
He wrapped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her to him, widening his stance so his shoes didn’t connect with hers. “We have the same short game; it’s just our endgame that’s misaligned.”
Marissa gazed up at him, her blue eyes so clear and true he could lose himself in them. She splayed her hands over his chest, those bright eyes softening. “I spent a lot of time this morning considering what you said. I think you want a relationship with a girl I’m not anymore. You have this image of me from wh
en I was an overly devoted girlfriend and that girl is long dead. I might look the same on the outside, but inside what I need is very different.”
“What is it you need?” Whatever it was, he’d give it to her.
“Appreciation, understanding, a life I control instead of one assigned to me.”
“I appreciate the hell out of you. But I don’t understand why you don’t want more than sex. You’re right, that’s not the Marissa I knew.”
Her sexy laugh was quiet, but it still floated around them. “We’ve flipped the traditional gender rules. I want to get to know you again, and you already want to take things to the next level. After a day. I’ll admit, it’s been quite the day, but if we’re stuck here for a few more days, we’re likely to get on each other’s nerves. Who knows where we’ll be when the snow melts. I might even have killed you for the way you tackle laundry.”
“What’s wrong with how I do laundry?” This girl could go off on tangents like no one he’d ever known.
“I suppose it’s more about the way you toss socks and underwear in drawers haphazardly and don’t bother to organize your hanging shirts. I know you can organize yourself; your collection of graphic tees is downright impressive.”
“If you’re looking for excuses, and how I put away laundry is the best you got . . .” He shrugged and shot her a grin. “You’re trying to talk me out of wanting to be with you, and it’s not going to happen.”
“I’m being realistic. My job, my whole life, is three hours away. I hitched my wagon to someone else’s star once; I won’t make the same mistake twice.” She dropped her hands and tried to step back, but nearly fell and caught herself by holding on to him.
“Snowshoes don’t go in reverse.” He steadied her and then stepped aside to give her some space. “I want to get to know you again. I think we’ve gone past the just-friends level already. ”
She set her hands on her hips. “I’m not up for Let’s see where this goes with a guy who’s crushing on the girl I used to be. This won’t work long term. Hell, it won’t even work once the snow melts.”
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