by Sue MacKay
Great one, O’Neil. Just what the doctor ordered. A full-blown hard-on. One that would have no release. Sasha wasn’t his. Hadn’t been in ages, and wasn’t about to become so. She carried another man’s baby. It didn’t matter that the man had left her high and dry.
Yeah, and you still lust after her. Still love her.
Yeah, and I can’t do a thing about that.
What happened to trying to woo her back slowly?
I just ran out of patience. And, I suspect, opportunity—if I ever had that. Sasha had made it very plain she wasn’t interested in a rerun of their previous relationship. What about a newer version? A grown-up, take-all-life’s-punches relationship? She wasn’t interested in that either. She might be saying her baby’s father was a bastard but there’d been a ton of hurt in her voice, indicating she might still be in love with the guy.
Ignoring his painfully squeezing heart, Grady turned into her bedroom and nudged the light switch with an elbow. The big bed beckoned. It would be so easy to lie down with Sash and hold her close as she slept. If she woke he’d have to rethink that because he doubted he’d be able to keep his hands off her. Patience had always been his middle name—until he’d returned to Golden Bay and seen this woman currently in his arms and drooping in all directions as though she was boneless.
Yet the moment she woke she’d remember all that fear brought on by her baby’s silence and those muscles would tighten up.
And he still had a boner to contend with. Seemed a dose of cold, hard reality hadn’t quietened that down. Best put her to bed. Don’t go there, he warned his southern brain. Behave.
Sash stirred as he placed her on the bed. When he tucked the sheet and quilt up to her chin she blinked her eyes open. ‘Grady?’ she croaked.
‘Shh. Go back to sleep, Sash.’
Her eyes opened wider. ‘Why are you putting me to bed?’
‘Because it’s late and you were sound asleep in my car.’ He stepped back from that tempting picture of sweetness. Run, man, while you still can. Because whatever you want, Sash will hate you tomorrow if you take advantage of her right now.
But Sash wasn’t thinking straight. Her hand slid out from under the covers and grabbed at his shirt. ‘Grady.’ She tugged him. When he didn’t budge she pushed up the bed and leaned closer. ‘Thank you for today. For being there. For being you. I needed all of that.’
Another tug, and this time he didn’t resist. Couldn’t resist. Those lips were smiling, those eyes drawing him in, that honeysuckle tickling his sensory receptors. He bent down, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up close so that he could feel against him the length of the body he craved in the deep of the night.
Sash twisted her head so that her lips locked on his. Finally, finally he tasted her. When her tongue slipped into his mouth he knew he’d found his Sash. And yet this was not his Sash. A different woman, confident in a less brash way. Gentled by her baby? By circumstances? Then her hands gripped his biceps and her swollen breasts pushed into his chest and he forgot to think. Just savoured the moment, the bone-melting kiss. He was home.
Lifting his hands to her head, his fingers combed into her silky hair. So soft. In response she pressed her hips forward. Rubbed up against his obvious need for her.
And reminded him with her baby bump why he shouldn’t be doing this. Dropping his hands to her shoulders, he separated their bodies, put air between them. Let go his hold. Stepped back further. ‘Sash.’ Swallow. ‘Sasha, I’m sorry.’
Her butt abruptly landed on the edge of the bed, as though her legs couldn’t hold her up without any assistance from him. The ring-covered fingers of her left hand pressed into her lips. Surprise glittered out of her eyes. ‘You’re sorry?’ she asked around those fingers. ‘Then so am I.’ Taking her hand away, she stared up at him. ‘Grady, I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was obvious you were moving away from me and in my sleep-hazed state I had to follow.’
Hit me in the gut, why don’t you? ‘I understand. It’s okay.’ Lying was all right sometimes, wasn’t it? For sure, he wasn’t about to lay his heart in those trembling hands twisting in her lap. She wasn’t ready for that. She might never want him again, despite that kiss. He’d still have to try, but not this way. Slowly, slowly. In other words, be patient.
‘I need to get into bed now. Properly.’
‘Of course. Do you want a hot drink once you’re sorted?’
‘Is hot chocolate on the menu?’ Her smile was shy and sliced right in deep, twisting through his heart.
‘Coming right up,’ he gasped, and turned abruptly for the door and the chill of the other rooms. Her bedroom had become hotter than an inferno. To the point he half expected to melt into a puddle of need at her feet.
In the pokey kitchen he banged cupboard doors as he looked for a mug, some chocolate and sugar, clanged the pot onto the element, slammed the fridge door shut after finding the milk.
He’d never be able to walk away from her again. At least, not until he’d tried everything possible to win her back. That kiss, short though it had been, had proved how much he still loved her.
As if he hadn’t known.
Turning the gas on to low, he stood watching the milk heat ever so slowly, thinking about Sasha and what she’d done in the intervening years when they’d both been carving out careers and turning into grounded adults. Funny how they’d both always wanted medical careers. He’d once tried to talk Sash into studying to become a doctor. She’d told him he was crazy to even think about it.
It wasn’t as though she didn’t have the smarts. She had as much, if not more, intelligence as any doctor he knew. Her school grades had been embarrassingly high. She’d been school dux, topped science and biology, and yet she’d refused to consider med school.
‘Too big a tie,’ she’d say with a grin. ‘At least six years with no free time for flying, skiing or just doing.’
‘Just doing’ had been her favourite expression and it encompassed all things physical or fun or non-studious.
He’d argued back, ‘Six years isn’t all that long. And we’d be studying together.’ Talk about selfish, but he hadn’t been able to imagine not being all but glued to her side. If only he’d known then what the future held just around the corner he’d have kept his big gob shut.
‘Two points you’re missing.’ She’d wagged her forefinger at him. ‘It takes a lot of money to go to med school and I’m not asking Dad to fork out for me. Then there’s the fact I hate being tied down too long. Can you imagine me studying twenty-four seven for years on end? I don’t think so. I want to be a nurse, do the hands-on caring stuff, help people when they’re feeling at their most vulnerable. I know there’s a lot of study involved but not as much as it takes to become a doctor.’
He hadn’t been able to argue with that and in the end he’d been the one to walk away from all their plans anyway.
The milk bubbled to the top of the pot and he deftly poured it into the large mug and stirred rapidly, swirling the dissolving chocolate through the liquid. Thinking about Sash, Sash, Sash.
Back in her bedroom the bedside light had replaced the main light, giving off a soft glow. Sash lay tucked up under her quilt, her eyes closed and her golden hair spread over the pillow. His heart felt like that chocolate in the hot milk. All gooey and swirling.
‘Sash?’ he called softly, in case she’d already fallen asleep.
Her eyes opened slowly. ‘Hey, Grady. That smells yummy. You’re spoiling me.’
Placing the mug on the bedside table, he headed for the door, where he turned to look at her. ‘Get a good night’s sleep, Sasha. I’ll be out in the lounge if you need anything.’ He wasn’t leaving her in the house alone. Not after today. She’d had a huge fright and if she woke during the night he wanted to be there to reassure her that everything was fine with her baby.
Shrugging, he continued down the short hall. Who did he think he was fooling? He was staying because he had an excuse to, because he didn’t want to leave h
er. Not until he absolutely had to—which no doubt would be tomorrow when she was back to being her normal self and kicked him out.
CHAPTER EIGHT
SASHA DRAGGED HER eyes open and peered through the gloom of her bedroom to the sunlight trying to filter in around the edges of her blinds. ‘At least it’s going to be a nice day, by the look of that.’
Her hands went to her stomach. ‘Hey, Flipper, how’re you doing in there this morning? All over yesterday’s quiet spell?’
She’d fought sleep last night—and lost—afraid that she’d not notice if the baby stopped moving again. Twice she’d woken during the night when she’d tried to roll over onto her stomach and immediately she’d felt a kick from inside. The relief had been enormous, but nothing like that moment when the hospital technician had shown her the printout with her baby’s heartbeat looking absolutely normal.
Didn’t mean she’d stop worrying for the rest of her pregnancy, though.
Stretching her toes to the end of the bed and her arms above her head, she revelled in the sheer indulgence of lying in bed. If only it was the weekend and she could stay all snug and warm in here for another hour or so.
‘Got to get up, lazybones. You’ve got a full load of patients today. You’re not supposed to be late, remember?’ And judging by the light filtering in, she was well on the way to being just that. It was as if something was testing her, making her earn this job by throwing obstacles all over the place to check her determination to turn up at work on time every day.
Reaching for her robe lying at the end of the bed, she shoved into it and headed for the kitchen. Stopped in the doorway. ‘Grady? What are you doing here?’
Grady finished filling the kettle and plugged it in. ‘I slept over. In case you had any more problems with baby.’
Warmth stole through her, heating her cheeks, her everywhere bits, and especially her heart. He’d looked out for her. He’d been doing that from the moment she’d rushed into the nurses’ room beside herself with fear for Flipper. She so wasn’t used to this.
‘Where did you sleep?’ The cottage didn’t run to a spare bed. She’d already started preparing the tiny second bedroom for the baby, collecting cute little knick knacks in pink, buying a bassinet and change table. Until Flipper she hadn’t even liked pink. Too girly.
‘Your couch folds out into a bed of sorts.’ He rolled his neck and she heard it click. ‘Not the most comfortable, I admit, but I managed to get some sleep.’
Now she felt indebted to him. ‘You should’ve gone home. I was fine.’ To think she hadn’t known he was here. Her radar had failed. She stared at him, and the man she used to love watched her back. If that kiss was anything to go by, she ran the chance of falling for him all over again. That would be an unfortunate error on her part, because they weren’t going anywhere with this fledgling friendship.
Entrusting her heart to Grady again would have to be right up there with leaping out of her plane without a parachute. Not because he was a bad person. Far from it. His heart was in the right place. Hers had difficulty making good decisions. She seemed to have a flaw that made men leave around the time when she started to relax with them.
Admittedly, it had been slightly different with this particular man watching her from under those thick black eyebrows. She’d been relaxed and involved and in love with him from the first time they’d met. It had been a very intense relationship and she’d believed he was equally as happy until he’d walked. But he had walked, leaving her shattered and shocked.
She was beginning to understand what it had cost him to help his family, though. He’d not only forced her away, he’d put his whole life on hold, including the career he’d worked so hard for with the high grades to get him into medical school. If only she’d stopped to think it through at the time, they might’ve come up with some arrangement to keep their relationship working. The only good thing to come out of Mum’s MS was that she’d started seeing what Grady had had to deal with. It might be too late for her and Grady, but at least she’d be more careful in the future.
With a heavy heart, she told him, ‘Thanks for staying over even when it wasn’t necessary. I’m going to have a shower and head into work. I guess I’ll see you around over the next few days.’
His lips whitened and he shoved his hands deep into those muscle-hugging, butt-defining jeans he wore with such nonchalance. ‘How about I see you in forty-five minutes’ time when I pick you up and drive you to work? Your car’s still at the medical centre, remember?’ Then he headed away.
She stared at her front door as it closed behind that straight back and tight shoulders. ‘Now I’ve gone and upset him.’
But it was probably for the best. She had to put the barriers back in place to keep him at a distance.
*
Sasha tried to relax for the fifteen-minute ride into work. Not easy with Grady less than a stretch away. He was completely focused on driving and avoiding school kids on bikes who veered out into the middle of the road. Totally ignoring her.
Finally they pulled up at the centre. She had to say something or she’d spend the rest of the day feeling terrible. ‘Grady, I’m sorry. You went out of your way to help me and then I pushed you aside.’ She gripped her bag. ‘I made a mistake last night when I kissed you.’ Though it hadn’t felt like a mistake at the time. ‘We need to keep our distance. You’re here for such a short time and I have a lot on my plate at the moment.’
‘It’s all right, Sash. I get it. There’s to be no rerun of the past.’ Did he have to look so disappointed? Nah, couldn’t be. Had to be that he was angry with her for kissing him in the first place and then making it sound like he was the problem here.
She headed inside, turning when she realised Grady was following her. ‘You don’t have to escort me right into my room.’
‘I’m working this morning.’
Keeping that distance just got harder. ‘Are you coming to the staff meeting?’
‘Yep.’
Wonderful. A glance at her watch showed she had time to top up her medical kit beforehand. ‘White and one, thanks.’ She cracked Grady a smile. ‘I’ll be five minutes.’
‘Yes, ma’am.’
Jess jumped up from the desk the moment Sasha walked into their room. Engulfing her in a huge hug, she sniffed. ‘Told you Flipper would be all right.’
Sniff back. ‘Guess that was the first of millions of crises my girl’s going to cause. I hope I’m cut out for this.’
Stepping back, Jess grinned. ‘Welcome to my world. Nicholas brings me so much happiness and worry all wrapped up together, it can be scary, but I keep reminding myself there are millions of kids out there with parents who feel the same and they grow up fine.’
‘That’s supposed to make me feel better?’ She grinned back. ‘I’m going to buy you a cellphone that is only to be used to talk to me, because you’re my first line of defence when I can’t cope.’
‘I signed up for friendship so bring it on.’ Jess’s grin wavered. ‘You do have your parents on standby.’
Unlike Jessica. Another hug was called for. ‘You know, if you called her Mum would be on your doorstep before you’d finished saying you needed help. She adores you and Nicholas.’
‘Great, now look what you’ve done.’ Jess rummaged around for the tissues. ‘Sasha, you’re in for the most amazing experience. Having a baby is wonderful beyond description. Yeah, it can be frightening, doing it on your own, but the rewards more than make up for that. Anyway, apparently I’ll be on the end of the phone all the time. That’s if I’m not glued to your hip.’
‘Now, there’s an idea.’ She sucked in her trepidation. ‘Guess we’d better get to that meeting.’
She grinned at the coffee waiting on the table. Everyone asked about her baby before they got down to the business of discussing patients.
Then Sasha told everyone about Campbell McRae and her concerns for his mental state. ‘I’m going to visit him again today, more to check that he’s no
t become any further depressed than anything else. But I did wonder if some counselling sessions might help.’ Rory was Campbell’s doctor.
‘It would, but do you honestly see Campbell turning up for them? Especially as he’ll have to drive over the hill to see anyone.’
Beside him Grady sat, tapping the tabletop with his finger. ‘Want me to go with Sasha to see him? Give him a medical assessment?’
They needed to be fixing the problems she’d already noted. ‘Medically Campbell’s doing fine, apart from ignoring his exercise routine and letting his glucose levels creep up a little with the occasional intake of chocolate. It’s the head stuff that needs dealing with.’
Rory answered before Grady even got his mouth open. ‘I like the idea of Grady visiting him. The guy enjoys being made a fuss of. What bigger fuss than a doctor calling in?’ He glanced at Grady, and something passed between them.
Something that made Sasha sit up. Those men were too smug. ‘Grady can head up that way while I go in the other direction. He’ll be saving me time when I’ve got a long list of patients to see today, starting up the Cobb Valley.’
What was Grady doing here anyway? It’s not like he had a job at the centre. Oh, no. She shivered. He didn’t, did he? He hadn’t told her anything about his current job, where he worked, what he intended doing after he’d got that house ready for the market. Had she missed a vital clue somewhere between the Donovans’ accident and last night’s kiss?
That kiss. She swallowed a groan. What had she been thinking? And there was no way she could blame it on Flipper’s little sleep that had sent her into a mad panic for hours. Her hand brushed her bump. Almost simultaneously felt a kick. Yah, good girl. Love ya.
