Her mouth moved, but nothing came out. I locked eyes with her, my chest tight and my throat even tighter. Jesus, she couldn’t even speak. I almost wished the guy on the floor wasn’t dead so I could kill him again.
And again. And again.
“Ben?” Hernandez said.
I blinked. “Yeah?”
“Time to get checked out for that concussion.”
I shook my head, closing my hand on Sarah’s. The one not currently attached to a possibly broken arm. I wasn’t sure who held onto who more tightly—her or me. “No. I’m not leaving her.”
“You don’t have to. You can go in together.”
Dad cleared his throat, then gestured to the closest paramedic. “Can you please ensure they ride in the same ambulance?”
“There’s only one gurney.”
“I can ride sitting up.” I looked at the man. “I’m not leaving her.”
“She’s his partner,” Hernandez said. “Come on.”
The paramedic hesitated, then said, “Fine. But if you pass out, it’s on you.”
She clung to me, worry in her eyes. “I’m fine. They’re just worrying needlessly about me. You know how hard my head is.”
She tried to speak and failed…again.
“Shh. I’m here.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead, even though the room spun when I did so.
“Your mom is okay,” Dad added. “I left men in charge of her. She’s sleeping, peacefully unaware of what happened.”
Sarah sagged against the bed, closing her eyes, tears trickling down her face.
I wiped them away.
“Sir, we need to get in.”
I nodded and let go of her. My hand immediately felt the loss of her skin on mine. I watched them work over her, talking amongst themselves as they loaded her up on a gurney. Behind us, a cop covered Vinnie’s body with a tarp, but not before I caught Sarah staring at it.
They wheeled her out, and I started to follow. Dad caught my arm. “Son?”
I stiffened. “I know I disobeyed orders, but I don’t give a damn. Fire me if you must, but don’t punish Hernandez. He had nothing to do with it.”
As if he sensed my words, Hernandez glanced over his shoulder at me from outside the room. He was briefing the others on what went down, more than likely.
“I wasn’t going to chastise you,” he said quietly. “I was going to tell you to take the week off to care for your partner.”
I stared at him. “She won’t be my partner much longer. I have no intention of losing her again. Not after this. Never again.”
My father nodded, lowering his head. “I know. You guys are being reassigned partners because I chose to do so, not because of any wrongdoing. There will be no repercussions for you, or her. I think we all suffered enough tonight.”
“Dad…”
“It’s done.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Go take care of your partner. That’s an order.”
I nodded, saying nothing else.
Truth be told, I wasn’t sure if I could.
Thirty-One
Sarah
I opened my eyes slowly, blinking against the bright lights overhead. My head throbbed, and my arm felt torn in two. My eye swelled shut, and my throat burned. I swallowed cautiously, wincing when it hurt even more than my arm. A whimper escaped me.
There was immediate movement beside me. “I’m here,” Ben said, his voice deep with exhaustion. “I’m right here, Sar.”
His hand touched mine, and I turned toward him, my eyes burning with unshed tears. He stared at me, his face pale and his eyes shadowed with darkness. When I’d woken up in that motel room and seen him sitting above me, I’d tried to ask him if I was dead.
Nothing had came out.
Now, here we were, hours later in a hospital room, and I could only assume I wasn’t, indeed, dead. Ben must’ve arrived in time to save my life. I licked my lips, and he hurried to reach for the Styrofoam cup on my bedside table.
“Doc said you could drink if you want.” He pressed the straw to my lips. “So, drink if you want.”
I took a cautious sip. It burned going down, but it also cooled the fire, so I took one more before sagging against the pillows again. I tried to speak, but only a croak came out.
“Shh. Doc said you won’t be able to talk right away.” He set the cup down and held my hand again. “But your voice will come back. You’ll be yelling at me again in no time, don’t worry.”
There was so much I wanted to say.
So much I needed to say.
Not being able to voice those thoughts out loud was frustrating, and that familiar feeling of helplessness washed over me. It was as unwanted as it was infuriating.
His face twisted with worry, and he stood up, leaning down to kiss my head. “Don’t cry. He’s dead. Hernandez shot him. He saved us both. That asshole will never hurt you again.”
Thank God.
“Dad knows we were together when it happened, but isn’t going to punish us. He’ll reassign partners, sure, but then we can be together, if you want. And if you don’t want, that’s okay, too.” He forced a smile. “You’ve been through a lot, and you might want to be alone. You might not want to be with someone right now, and if that’s the case, then I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever for you, if that’s what it takes, because there’s no one else I want to be with besides you.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I opened my mouth to speak, but again, nothing came out. I fisted my good hand in anger. I wanted to tell him how I felt.
“I know. It sucks.” He forced another smile and pushed my hair behind my ear. “But you can tell me everything later. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here, waiting.”
I gripped his wrist tight, nodding.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to stop him from hurting you, and I’m so sorry I was too late to get him before he hurt you even more. If you can forgive me…” He trailed off, lowering his head. “If you can forgive me, I swear I’ll make it up to you. Someway, somehow, I will.”
I shook my head. He wasn’t to blame. This wasn’t on him, or me.
It was on Vinnie.
“But if there’s one thing this tragedy has shown me, it’s that I never want to lose you again. Whether you’re at my side as my friend, my partner, my lover, or my everything…” He swallowed hard and studied my face. “…I never want to lose you again. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me, however you’re willing to give it, but in the interest of full honesty, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll always love you. Nothing you say, do, or don’t do will ever change that—it’s just not possible to kill the kind of love I have for you.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Because the love I have for you, Sar?” He reached out, smiled, and smoothed his rough, calloused hands over my skin. “It doesn’t die, or crack under pressure. It just grows stronger.”
I clung to his wrist even harder, nodding because the words, no matter how much I might wish otherwise, wouldn’t come. Instead of trying to speak, I settled for a whisper.
One way or the other, I was going to say the only thing I needed to right now. The only thing that mattered, in the face of all this other crap. Pulling back, I looked him straight in the eyes, smiled despite my tears, and whispered, “I love you, too.”
He blinked, staring at me, and then a joyous smile broke out over his perfect, charming, unforgettable face. “You do?”
I nodded, not bothering to attempt to speak again.
He laughed, cradled my face, and kissed me gently. As he pulled back, he rested his forehead on mine, and swore, “I will never lose you again. I swear to you, from this day on, to always be there for you. I’ll never fail you, or make you doubt me again. I love you, Sarah.”
Nodding, I squeezed his wrist and kissed him again.
I might not be able to say the pretty words back, but he knew I felt the same way. I could see it in his eyes, in his smile, in the way he watched me with that warm
glow that he always had when he stared at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. This time, I was looking, but he didn’t care.
There was nothing to hide anymore.
Epilogue
Ben
“Are you sure?” I asked, smiling at the woman on the bed with me.
She nodded, smiling back. “I’m sure. She’ll definitely want the purple.”
“I thought she loved pink,” I teased, holding up the tiny baby hat and staring at it as if I was uncertain.
Mrs. Lopez shook her head at me, clearly dismissing me for a lost cause. “She does, but every girl likes a little bit of variety in her life now and then.”
“Truth,” I said, still smiling. I checked the time and stood, knowing I needed to get out in the living room with Sarah, or we’d be late for work. “All right, I’ll give it to her before I go, okay?”
She pouted. “Do you have to leave?”
“Yes, but start another hat. I’ll be back later, and it’s getting cold outside at night.”
She picked up the ball of red yarn. “All right.”
I bent, kissed her head, and left the room, passing Grace as I went. We nodded at one another, and I came into the living room, scanning the room for the love of my life. She stood there, waiting by the door, two cups of coffee in her hand. Her left hand glinted in the sunlight where the engagement ring I’d put on her finger a week ago caught the sunlight.
I still couldn’t believe she was going to be my wife.
There was no doubt that I was the luckiest guy alive.
“Is she good?” she asked softly.
“Yeah, she’s good.” I smiled at her and kissed her, the baby hat still in my hands. “How was she with you this morning?”
We took turns sitting with her every morning while the other showered and got ready for work. Then, when we were both ready, we met in the living room, and Grace took over. On weekends, we had lazy mornings where I knitted and sang to her mother, and she joined us, sometimes singing with me. I’d never been happier than I’d been these past six months, living with Sarah, in love and not afraid to show it.
Everyone teased us at the precinct, and made gagging noises when we sometimes forgot we had an audience and kissed, but we didn’t give a damn.
We’d lost too much time with one another.
There wouldn’t be another second wasted ever again.
“She looked like she remembered who I was for a second…” She stared off into the distance. “But then the light in her eyes went away, so I guess it was my imagination.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” I hugged her, despite her full hands. “I think she gets moments of clarity, here and there.”
“Yeah…” She pursed her lips. “Maybe.”
“We should get going.” I faked a scowl. “Your partner is waiting for you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Stop being jealous.”
“I can’t help it. I was supposed to get him, not you.”
She shrugged. “Well, he’s mine, deal with it.”
“Whatever.” I teased her, but I was happy Hernandez was her partner now. At least I didn’t have to worry about whether her new partner would have her back. Hernandez would die to keep her safe. “I guess I’m okay with Michaels.”
“He’s a good guy.”
He was. I liked him. But he wasn’t Sarah, or Hernandez. “I know.” I glanced down at my hand. “Oh, yeah. We have another baby hat to donate. Purple, this time.”
She stared at it, opening her mouth, then closing it.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing…it’s just…” She licked her lips. “I like purple.”
“I know,” I said, holding it up. “But I think it’s too small for you.”
“I know…”
“I’ll make you your own.” I kissed her again. “With those fancy cables you like.”
“Ben…” She set the coffees down and caught my hands. “I think we should keep it.”
I frowned. “Keep it? Why?”
“Because.” She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Because I’m late, dummy.”
I stared at her for a second, completely confused.
“Jesus, Ben.” She stomped her foot playfully. “Sometimes you’re really obtuse.”
“But it’s only eight thirty—oh shit. You’re late?”
She nodded, a smile breaking out on her face. “Yes.”
I picked her up and swung her in my arms, kissing her as we whirled in a circle. She clung to me, and laughed against my mouth as I showed her just how happy that news made me. We hadn’t been trying for a baby, but we hadn’t exactly been not trying, either.
As her feet hit the floor, I hugged her even tighter, laughing. “I swear to God, woman, every time I think it’s impossible to be happier than I am, you go and prove me wrong.”
“I know.”
She rested her hands on my chest, smiling up at me with the most beautifully perfect smile I’d ever seen in my life. I hoped our child got her smile. And her hair. And her eyes. And her passion for success. And her sense of—
“You do the same thing to me,” she whispered.
“And I’ll never stop.” I rested my forehead on hers. “I love you, Sarah.”
“I love you, too,” she whispered back.
We kissed, and despite knowing she’d prove me wrong, repeatedly, I went ahead and thought it anyway: There was no way in hell I’d ever be happier than right here, right now.
I couldn’t wait to be wrong again.
About the Author
Jen McLaughlin is the New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author of sexy books with Penguin Random House. Under her pen name, Diane Alberts, she is also a USA TODAY bestselling author of Contemporary Romance with Entangled Publishing. Her first release as Jen McLaughlin, Out of Line, hit the New York Times, USA TODAY and Wall Street Journal lists. She was mentioned in Forbes alongside E. L. James as one of the breakout independent authors to dominate the bestselling lists. She is represented by Louise Fury at The Bent Agency.
Though she lives in the mountains, she really wishes she was surrounded by a hot, sunny beach with crystal-clear water. She lives in Northeast Pennsylvania with her four kids, a husband, a schnauzer mutt, and four cats. Her goal is to write so many well-crafted romance books that even a non-romance reader will know her name.
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www.jenmclaughlin.com
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Also by Jen McLaughlin
THE OUT OF LINE SERIES
Out of Line
Out of Time
Out of Mind
Fractured Lines
Blurred Lines
I’ll be Home for Christmas
On the Line
THE SONS OF STEEL ROW SERIES
Dare to Run
Dare to Stay
Dare to Lie
THE MCCULLAGH INN IN MAINE SERIES
The McCullagh Inn in Maine
A Wedding in Maine
A Princess in Maine
FORBIDDEN LOVE SERIES
Bad Romance
Lust is the Thorn
SEX ON THE BEACH SERIES
Between Us
Losing Us
On the Line (Out of Line Book 7) Page 15
