“Li,” he murmurs into my hair. “I can’t believe it. It’s been too long. God, I’ve missed you.” I try not to notice that he smells fantastic, I really do. But with his hard body wrapping around mine, it’s difficult for me to think of anything else. He pulls me back, looking into my eyes. “Still as gorgeous as ever.” Just before I wonder if he is already crossing the line, he winks, letting me go.
“Says the man looking like a dang bodybuilder,” I joke, trying to lighten the tension that seems to be crackling in between us. “Goodness, Blake! What have you been doing, steroids?” He knows I’m joking; there’s no way Blake McIntyre would do anything illegal. “No, seriously. You look amazing. If it wasn’t for that face, I would hardly recognize you.”
“I would always recognize you,” Blake says, his voice low. My eyes lift on their own accord and meet his, both of us having a conversation without words. “You look amazing, Li. It’s been too long.”
“Yes, it has.” Tears spring behind my eyes out of nowhere, and I turn my face so he won’t see them. But I forgot how well he knows me.
“Hey,” he says softly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Lifting my chin back to look at him, one traitor tear slides down my cheek. He catches it with his thumb. “Liane. Don’t cry.”
Blake pulls me into his arms again, stroking his hand softly on my back. I sniffle, wanting to kick myself in the head for being so ridiculous. Pulling back, I smile and let out a small laugh. “Geez, am I being a chick or what. It’s so great to see you again, Blake. I’m so sorry that I waited so long. I was stupid.”
His eyes search mine for a moment too long, as if he is trying to decide if I’m really okay. I’m not, but he doesn’t need to know that. “Let’s go ahead and get it out now. I know we talked about it on the phone, but that’s not the same to me.” Fear clutches my stomach. He wants to rehash our huge mistake? “I’m sorry again that I crossed the line. Please forgive me. Our friendship means so much to me, Li. You’re everything to me.”
I wave my hand, my heart cracking a little with his words. What did I want him to say, ‘Oh please be my forever love, Liane Kelly, the messed up girl whose boyfriend just dumped her?’ God, am I desperate or what? “Blake, it’s water under the bridge. We were kids. We’re here now, together, and we’re going to have the best two weeks of our life.” What I didn’t say was, ‘if you lean over and kiss me right now and tell me you’ve loved me your entire life, it’ll be the best two weeks of our life’.
Blake smiles, taking my hand and twirling me in a circle. “Yes, we are. It’s going to be the best time of our life. By the way, your magazine is toast.” He nods his head towards my now soggy, sand covered magazine.
I laugh. “Yeah, I think you’re right. I never even got to read it.”
A squeal sounds from the boardwalk, and I turn to see Blake’s sisters, Brooke and Brianna, running full speed towards me. “I think they’re just as happy as me to see you.”
I smile, his words cutting me like a knife even though they shouldn’t. Just days ago, I had a boyfriend. Today, I’m already wishing for Blake to confess his undying love for me. God, I need help. Desperate, much? Blake doesn’t even know yet about Ronan and me. That would have to come later, because his little sisters skid to a stop in front of me. Brooke reaches me first.
“Li!!!!” she hugs me tightly, making us jump up and down. “You’re here, you’re here!”
Brianna walks to my side and reaches her arms over both of us and envelops us. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispers into my ear, so only I could hear. “This year, Blake will have a smile on his face.” I search her eyes, wondering what she means by that. Blake is very close to his sisters, and I know that they talk about everything. I think of myself as a big sister to them and their brother, Bennett.
“Hey, where’s Bennett?”
“Right here, Li!” he seemingly comes out of nowhere, sneaking in between his sisters and wrapping his spindly arms around my waist. He’s still in that skinny awkward stage, but I know he is going to be just as handsome as his big brother within the next few years. Wrapping my arms around him, I fight tears again to have four of my favorite people in the world all surrounding me with such love. Here I am, a broken eighteen-year-old girl who has given everything to a man I thought I loved and pushed away the family I had known my entire life, and here they are, still loving me unconditionally.
“You know what time it is?” Brooke steps back, eyeing all of us in her mischievous way. Of the four of them, she’s the comedian, always making everyone laugh and keeping things light and fun.
“Sand castle competition!” Bennett shrieks. It’s our first day of vacation tradition. “I’m going to get Mom and Dad! Li, where’s your Mom and Dad? Go get them! T-minus fifteen minutes and everyone meets right here!”
The girls and Bennett run for the condo, leaving Blake and I alone again. “Want to walk up and get your parents? I don’t think Bennett is going to wait. He’s been spun like a top for the last few days.”
I smile, wishing I had the nerve to tease him about bugging his mom about how much longer it was until they arrived here. But I don’t, and seeing how I’m on the verge of losing it at every word I say, I’m better off keeping my mouth closed. “Yes, let’s go get them.” We fall into step next to each other, and before I know it, Blake reaches out and grabs my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. I look up at him in surprise, trying not to read too much into what he’s doing.
“I don’t want to let go until I have to,” Blake explains, winking at me. “I’m afraid if I’m not touching you, I’ll wake up and realize I was dreaming and I’m not really here with you.”
Damn that lack of sleep, my eyes well with tears again. Pulling my sunglasses over my eyes even though we are almost at the condo, I give myself a mental talking-to. “Hey.” He stops me before we open the screen door to the condo. “I want you tell me what’s wrong. I know you, Li. Something’s bothering you. You don’t have to tell me now, but later tonight when it’s just us, I want to know.”
When it’s just us. God, how I want him to help me forget everything that’s going on in my head right now. I want to talk to him about it; I do. I just don’t want to ruin our first day together with me crying my eyes out over someone that I wasted two years of my life with. I pull open the door and step in, looking back at him briefly. “I will. Let’s just focus on having fun with our families today, okay?”
He nods, following me inside to get my parents for the sand castle contest. I promise myself that for the next few hours, I will forget the trouble in this mixed up head of mine and focus on being with my favorite people in the whole world.
“I WIN! I win!” Bennett yells, jumping up and down with glee. He built a mansion sand castle, complete with moat and bridge. In true summer tradition, the kids had built the sandcastles and the parents had judged. Truth be told, I hadn’t been as into it as I should’ve because I couldn’t shut off my head.
Looking over at Blake, I see him watching me. I smile at him and he winks back. No matter how many times I’ve already looked at him this afternoon, I still can’t believe that it is him. He’s like someone out of one of my many romance novels I like to read. Kill me now.
“I’m heading up to start the grill,” Blake’s dad, Phil announces. “Jack, ready?” My dad brushes the sand off his shorts and stands, following his friend to start the cooking for our families.
“Let’s go in and get the drinks and sides ready,” my mom Margaret says to Blake’s mom, Cathy. All of a sudden, everyone is heading away from us again.
“That kid really is good at sand castles,” Blake says, studying his brother’s work. “Maybe he’ll be an architect someday.”
“What are you going to major in?” I settle myself into the chair I brought out earlier, and Blake sits next to me cross-legged in the sand.
“I’m not sure yet,” he answers. “I want to own my own garage, so probably business. You know I did some technical scho
ol this year for mechanics, so I want to continue that also and get my certifications. My plan is to work for someone else for a few years and then open my own place once I get established.”
I know how much Blake loves cars; it is something that I can’t wait to see him do. He bought an old Camaro and restored it with his dad for his first car. I’d seen pictures of it, but would do anything to see this man sitting next to me driving that sexy machine. Over the years, he has taught me so much about cars that I often feel like I’m there with him.
“I think that’s great, Blake. Do you want to fix cars, or restore old ones?”
“Both. I know it’s risky, and there’s a lot of overhead, but it’s the only thing I’m really passionate about.” He looks at me, our eyes locking together. It seems like there’s something else unspoken in that statement, but I refuse to read into what my ridiculous teenage brain is conjuring up.
“Everything is risky. If it’s something you love, you’ll make it happen. Don’t doubt yourself. I can’t wait someday to come see your very own garage. What do you want to call it?”
“I have a few names, but I’m not sure yet. I have to get through school first. You still going to major in education?”
“Yes. I want to be an elementary teacher. I know I’ll never be rich, but…”
“That doesn’t matter, Li. Happiness is worth more than money, any day. I’m proud of you that you want to make a difference in the lives of children. Those kids will love you. You’ll also be an amazing mom someday.”
I sigh, my thoughts immediately going back to Ronan. I had thought I had it all—a boyfriend that loved me, a future together, and a plan for my career. We wouldn’t be rich, but we’d be comfortable on an accountant and a teacher salary. But not anymore.
“Uh oh, where did you go?” Blake rests his hand on my leg, and I stare at it, unable to stop myself from noticing how different his hand is from Ronan’s. Blake’s hand is much larger, and his fingers are rough from work, with some scars on it. Ronan doesn’t do anything with his hands other than sports. He’s the kind of guy that gets manicures. “Talk to me, Li. I’ve seen that same look come across your face many times today. What happened? Why are you so sad?”
I WATCH HER face fall for what seems like the millionth time today, and it makes me want to punch something. Someone has hurt her, and I have a feeling I know who it is. The ‘amazing’ Ronan. Seeing her today, wearing that polka dotted bikini, her blonde hair curling over her shoulders and her sad eyes gazing into mine hasn’t helped my resolve to make it this two weeks just being friends. But I won’t be that guy, the one that makes a girl choose between him and her boyfriend. And if I’m honest with myself, I am pretty sure I will lose, and I can’t handle that. To take the chance that I could lose Liane’s friendship for the rest of our lives has me scares to death. She has to be in my life, and that is that.
I know she’s inwardly fighting with herself. While we have always told each other everything, I know whatever this is, she’s struggling with telling me. Probably because she knows how defensive I am about her. She thinks it’s just because she’s my best friend. What it really is, however, is that no one in this world is good enough for her. Not even me. When we had been talking about college and our futures, she made me feel like what I was doing was admirable. Not that everyone else hasn’t been encouraging me; my parents and friends are very supportive of my dream. But I inwardly wonder if that’s a good enough career, if turning a wrench for the rest of my life is something to be proud of. But when her eyes light up and she listens to me talk about my dreams, it’s as if I can see my future through her eyes, and I feel comfortable. I can do this. I will do it.
Her green eyes turn to look at me, and I wonder if she’s going to tell me at all. Our parents are cooking dinner, and the sun is starting to set, making the gold in her hair shine around her like a halo. She’s my angel. God, I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms and take away whatever is bothering her. “Ronan broke up with me.”
My mouth drops open as my stupid heart soars with hope before I check myself. What the hell kind of person am I, to listen to her anguish and be happy about it? “He what?” Tears drip down her cheeks, and this time she doesn’t stop them. I fight the urge to take it all away from her, resigning myself to sit next to her and support her instead.
“He called me the other night,” she starts, her voice shaking with unshed tears. “He wanted to meet me at the park.” I grit my teeth, knowing from listening to her for the last two years that they met all the time at the park. I don’t want to know what happens there. That is one thing she has never shared with me; I just assume that she has been sleeping with him. The thought of it makes me want to pick up the beach chair and chuck it into the water. But instead, I reach my hand out and cover hers, encouraging her to continue without saying anything else. That is one of those things that I’m better off not knowing, for my own sanity.
“So I went to meet him, feeling the whole time that something was wrong. But when I got there, he was fine. We-we…” she looks at me out of the corner of her eye, and I know the words about to come out of her mouth aren’t something I ever want to hear about her and someone else. She seems to be deciding if she can say this to me, but then she shakes her head. “We were in his truck… and then he started getting all weird. He said he wanted to take me back to my car, then talk.”
While she hasn’t said it out loud, visions of her beautiful body lying in the back of this jackhole’s truck consumes me, and all I see is red. He had her in his truck, for goodness sake? He used her like she was trash, and then threw her out? I grip my other hand into a fist, the one not holding onto her, and force air to go in and out of my lungs.
“He said that we needed a break,” she hiccups, looking out at the water instead of me. That is probably a good thing, since I know that the rage isn’t hidden on my face. That guy is so lucky he’s over a thousand miles from me at this moment, because the way I feel right now, I could drive there and kill him. “That he had to concentrate on school so that he could provide for me someday, and he couldn’t do that if he was worried about me in Kentucky while he’s in New York. He said he wants to still get together when he’s home for breaks.”
I bite my tongue, expletives threatening to roll out like the tide. On a normal day, I am a very levelheaded, easygoing guy that doesn’t like to start trouble. Except when it comes to Liane Kelly. I don’t remember exactly the moment everything changed for me, but all I know is that four years ago, I wanted her like I wanted nothing else in my life. Being fourteen, I’d had no real idea what that meant except that I no longer looked at her like a friend. I thought back to what Brooke had said about me being in love with her. Of course I know that I love my family, but I had never loved a girl before. Sure, I’d taken a few on dates at home and to dances. I’d even gone too far with a few of them. But love? If love is the feeling I had right now, that I wanted to physically harm someone who is hurting her, or if it is the fact that I can’t stop staring at how gorgeous she is, or if it is me thinking about our phone conversations for days after we have them, then maybe Brooke is right. Because Liane is in every single part of me, at all times. The thought of saying goodbye to her in two weeks with the possibility of not seeing her again for another year, maybe more, makes me want to throw myself on the sand and have a tantrum like the toddler I once was.
“He… we had just… made love, Blake. And then he dumped me, like I was nothing. He says he still wants to marry me, and he still loves me… but how does someone that loves you do that to you?”
I close my eyes, the confirmation of what she had given away to a guy who obviously didn’t care at all about her overtaking me. Sweet Liane. She has always tried to see the best in everyone and gives anyone a second, third, or millionth chance. And without ever meeting this Ronan character, I already know he’s a taker. He doesn’t put her first; he puts himself first. “They don’t, Li. First of all, if that’s what he was thinkin
g he should’ve been man enough to admit that before now. Also, a real man wouldn’t take advantage of the situation and… and…” I can’t even say the words. “Liane, I know you love him. You’ve been together for a long time. But believe me when I tell you this. A real man doesn’t treat the woman he loves like that. Even if he’s worried about going away to college, that’s still no reason to break it off with you now, especially if he still says he wants to be with you in the future. What does that mean, exactly? That he wants you to wait for him?”
“That’s what I said to him,” she cries, wiping her nose. “So I’m just supposed to wait until he throws me some crumbs just like I’m a dog? Like I’m not worthy of being with him now, so he can go to college and do what? Party it up? Sleep with every girl that comes on to him? Then later, when he has it all out of his system, he’ll come back and put a ring on it? What about me?”
I’m shocked that she stood up for herself with him, but extremely proud. That is completely out of character for her, but it is about time. “You’re exactly right, Li. You don’t deserve that. You deserve someone who lives and breathes for you and you alone.” Like me, I want to add. But this isn’t the time. I’m not going to throw that on her lap too, but darn it if this little revelation doesn’t make hope bloom in my chest like a balloon. I’m probably being dumb, but when it comes to her, it doesn’t seem to matter.
Twisted Souls Page 3
