by Layla Arts
“Hadrian…” My grandfather spoke faintly.
He looked at me as if he was going to say that everything was going to be fine.
But I couldn’t imagine this going to be fine!
The fact I had to process the thought of running the Empire – alone – and being faced with the fact that my grandfather was going to die.
I’d gain so much, but lose the most important person in my life. How was I ever going to find someone like him? Someone who understood my way of thinking? Someone who could get along with my character and enjoy being me? Someone who would stay an eternity with me and not let go?
“I just – I don’t know what to say,” I admitted.
Yes, I was thrilled. But the fear of ruining what he built was enormous.
I was tapping with fingers on my knee as I tried to avoid talking about this topic. Normally, I liked to hear what my grandfather and dad discussed. I regretted asking him right now.
“Grandpa,” I breathed out anxiously. “I’m not ready to think about losing you.”
“You have to, Hadrian,” he said. “Life is too short, and I can’t stop myself from going one day. I don’t want to leave you or anyone else. But it is what it is, and I want you to have the Empire. To run it like it is yours.”
He didn’t mean to scare me with his words – he wanted me to feel proud that he had chosen me out of all the people who could’ve been here.
My grandfather had decided to get up and take a seat next to me – on the other chair. He held my hand protectively, and the way he stared at me made me listen to him completely.
“I have faith in you, Hadrian. You are the only one who needs to believe in yourself.”
Vicky West
Texas, 2014.
“Vicky.” My mom walked into my bedroom, conflicted. She had been avoiding the topic ‘Los Angeles’ for the last couple of weeks. However, it was now impossible to walk away since I’d be gone the next morning. “I washed your favorite t-shirt for tomorrow.” I hadn’t asked my mom to do my laundry, but she obliged herself to do the task.
‘”Mom,” I whined. “You don’t have to help me constantly. Get yourself a cup of coffee. I can manage it.” I assured her truthfully. But the look on my mother’s face told me otherwise.
I understood that it was hard for parents to let their child go – and even more when she wouldn’t be living in the same state. Still, my parents knew about my plans from the moment I discovered dancing. I couldn’t think of anything else that made me happier than the rhythm of the music.
As I looked over my shoulder, I was met with my mother’s eyes that stared extremely vulnerable at me.
“I’m not moving to a different country, mom,” I said – a sentence I had repeated multiple times in my life.
“You know your father and I will miss you unconditionally,” she spoke, and I saw her bottom lip trembling.
“And I will miss the both of you terribly. But I’m growing up, mom,” I replied kind-heartedly.
She sat down on the edge of my bed. I had laid a few pictures down on the duvet; I wanted to choose two to bring with me. I’d be living in a small apartment, and there was a desire to have a reminder of home around me. All the furniture I bought was either new or second handed.
“This has always been my favorite photo of yours.” My mother held a picture of me from my younger years when I held a mini-show at home with my cousin Jane. “You were adorable.”
I smiled softly as I admired how my mother was looking at the picture. I knew she wished she could relive all the years again – to see me growing up for the second time. Like she told me once in a while; from the moment I was born, I had brought glorious technicolor into their lives.
“I have to chase my dream. You and I both know that if I stay any longer in Texas, I will feel absolutely miserable and not reach what I want.” I never enjoyed it to tell my mother this, but she needed to be realistic; I wasn’t made for a life in Texas. I knew I’d be the talk of the town, if I wouldn’t return or stay my entire life in this place. My parents belonged here, but I didn’t.
“Have you said goodbye to everyone yet?” she questioned.
Clearly, my mother didn’t ask if I had said goodbye to Lisa. I tugged at the hem of my black shirt; feeling uncomfortable regarding this subject. “I don’t want to discuss this,” I declared.
“I think you’ll make a mistake if you go without a goodbye.”
I sighed out of frustration. “It’s better if I do not bring any troubles with me to Los Angeles. If I talk to Lisa – and we manage to get into a big fight – how will I travel to LA while being mournful or enraged?” I complained. I didn’t want to feel terrible altogether because of my best friend who decided to leave me. “She doesn’t want me to go, mom. Suddenly – last minute – she tells me she will not talk to me ever again if I really go. I cannot show up at her door and tell her I’m really leaving, only to be faced with a closed door for the second time.”
“She’s your best friend.”
“No, she’s not,” I replied. “She’d be a best friend if she supported my biggest dream.”
“I assume she fears that you won’t make it,” My mom spoke aloud, and I looked at her with annoyance written on my face.
“People shouldn’t doubt me, but trust me. I work hard, and everyone sees I’m devoting my entire life to my dream. I get why she fears I might be hurt there, but I won’t. I will make it. Big time.”
My mother brushed her hand through my hair. “I know, kid. I just needed you to say it aloud one more time before you are leaving in the morning,” she confessed with a weak smile, so I hugged her right away. It would be tough not to hug my mother once I drive away in a couple of hours.
I took the picture she held in her hand and placed it safely in my suitcase. “I will bring that one with me,” I said, and I saw her smiling at me blissfully. “Where is dad?” I asked my mother, and she told me he was downstairs reading the newspaper. I pressed a light kiss on her forehead before I left my old bedroom to talk to my father downstairs.
While I walked down the stairs, I observed the wall that was covered in multiple pictures from my youth. I didn’t find it easy to leave everyone behind, because so many people who lived here were dear to me.
I peeked around the corner and noticed how my father was drinking his coffee while turning the pages of the newspaper. He was seated at the dining table. His glasses were placed on the bridge of his nose, and he pushed them back regularly.
I knocked on the wall, and he looked up immediately. His smile widened as he saw me entering the room.
“Hi, kid. Did you finish packing?”
“Almost,” I said with a light chuckle. “You know I always take too long.”
He closed the newspaper. “It’s happening way too fast.”
My father wasn’t the only one who had said that. Clearly, time passed by fast – but we had to deal with the fact that I wasn’t their little girl anymore. Maybe they didn’t understand how bad I’d miss them.
“Mom is emotional. Again,” I said with a laugh.
“She tries not to,” he spoke.
I adored my mother, completely. But it was often hard to read her mind. She had never been outrageously fond of showing me her emotions – I wasn’t always allowed to know everything that she was feeling.
Since I became older, she started to feel the pressure of me leaving more and more. She always claimed it was a part of growing up, but she couldn’t imagine it being so silent at home. She loved my father with her whole heart, and definitely feel elated to have some peace at home. Still, they always had me; walking around, telling stories, and making them happy.
Now, I was going to leave Texas and give them this hole they had to fill in themselves. It was going to be hard for them, and my mother started to show me more and more how much she appreciated me being around for such a long time. Normally, the youth had already left the house at the age of twenty. I, on the other hand, was still around
at twenty-three.
“I am proud of you, Vicky. For doing something like this when many people are telling you not to go.”
“Lisa hasn’t texted me yet, I muttered sadly.
“Don’t be sad about it, kid,” he told me, but I asked myself how I couldn’t feel down because of this. Her demeanor was so strange. “During times like these, you find out who is willing to be in your life. Lisa shouldn’t keep you here in Texas. She should’ve encouraged you to pack your stuff and head to Los Angeles.”
I got up and hugged my father. “Thank you, dad,” I said and pressed a kiss on his forehead.
***
Four days had passed by in Los Angeles, and I was – slowly but surely – getting to know my way around.
Saying goodbye to my parents was hard. Not only did I cry, but they were getting emotional too when I hugged them for the last time. I realized, at that moment, that I wouldn’t be seeing them for months. I had to be financially stable before I’d return to my hometown.
When the taxi drove me to the airport, I watched over my shoulder only to see my mother holding my father tightly. She was more upset than she thought she’d be for sure.
To my surprise, I once walked into a café close to my apartment and was offered a job after I had found myself talking with the owner – Veronica – for a good forty minutes.
Today would be my first day at the café, and I was thankful I had found a place where I could earn money so soon – no one supported me financially.
I unboxed the belongings I brought along that held a significant value. I placed them all around the house, to make sure a bit of Texas was in every room.
After a while, I fell onto the couch and turned the television on. My feet were resting on the salon table, and it felt absolutely amazing to be living on my own. It was necessary to leave the house, since I was twenty-three and hardly could keep up with my parents treating me like a teenager – they didn’t treat me like that constantly.
My eyes did fell on my phone that laid next to me on the couch. The screen didn’t light up that often, since the moment Lisa decided to leave me behind. It still surprised me how my best friend could push me away without experiencing guilt.
I scrolled through my messages.
Lisa: “Can I be honest?”
Vicky: “Always. You know that :)”
Lisa: “Don’t go to LA.”
Vicky: “???”
Lisa: “I don’t think it’s clever if you go and leave Texas
behind.”
Vicky: “You know that this is my dream. Why do you
protest all of a sudden?”
Lisa: “Because I don’t think you have thought this
through.”
I didn’t want to get into an argument through texting, so I decided to head over to Lisa that evening. She had no idea that I was coming around, but I wanted to be on good terms before I would leave Texas. She slammed the door shut right in my face when I said I wanted to talk about it. Somehow, Lisa was pushing me away while she always valued our friendship – just like I did.
Maybe it was for the better to be here in Los Angeles. I’d start all over again, and not be faced with the constant pain in my chest of my best friend pushing me away so abruptly.
I looked at the clock and noticed it was time to leave. I gathered my working clothes that Veronica had given to me when I accepted the job.
Thankfully, I had managed to get myself a car. I dumped everything in the trunk and drove to the café. The parking lot was mind-blowingly full – I had never experienced a café being this successful. I managed to find myself a free spot before I entered the café with a smile written on my face.
“Vicky! Lovely to spend this first day with you!” Veronica cheered as she walked over to me – she hugged me unannounced.
I already felt loved here.
“Thanks again, Veronica.”
“My pleasure. It’s great to have someone new working here,” she said happily and gestured me to walk with her to the back of the café.
She showed me how everything looked like here, and I was sure I had gained a nice job with a wonderful employer. Throughout the entire tour, Veronica was smiling brightly. I didn’t know if she was always this ecstatic, but it made me feel more secure about the upcoming weeks – months even – about working here.
“This is your locker,” she spoke and gave me the key. “You can dump everything in here because we don’t want our personal stuff to be stolen.” Then she told me to follow her to the lunchroom where the schedules laid on the table.
“As you can see, you’ll be working in the afternoon and evening most of the time. I have quite some employees, but you’ll mostly be seeing Derek, Jenny, Clarity, and Kent – and obviously me. Right now both Clarity and Kent are working. They are absolute sweethearts, and I bet you’ll get along with them instantly.”
Veronica had introduced me to Kent and Clarity, and I was ready to work. They helped me throughout the day, and I was glad they didn’t treat me as if I was less important. Kent had been working at the café for two years while Clarity had been around for seven years already – she told me she couldn’t say goodbye to this place.
After our shift, they invited me to stay for a while. They liked to drink something together at the café before they left. I didn’t want to be boring and say I wanted to head home. This was a great opportunity to get to know people from Los Angeles and let them share their experiences with me.
Kent walked over to us with milkshakes on a tray. We had decided to sit in a booth and talk about our lives. They were both sweethearts for making me feel so welcome.
“Why did you move to Los Angeles?” Kent asked me, and he took a sip.
“Chasing my dream,” I spoke happily.
“That sounds extremely adventurous.” Clarity beamed.
I laughed softly. “I’m not there yet,” I said.
Kent looked at me. “Why not?”
“I haven’t done an audition for the Empire yet.”
“The Empire?!” Kent asked in disbelief.
“Yes,” I murmured. “Is there something wrong with that club?”
Kent scratched the back of his neck. “Some people are positive about it, others not.”
“It is a very known club,” Clarity said. “Like Kent mentioned, there are so many different opinions on the club. But it is all about experiencing it yourself. Friends of mine have visited the Empire a couple of times and were remarkably positive about the shows. Maybe you should go to a show one time?”
“Well, there isn’t a show anymore before the auditions. I looked it up online.”
“They are closed during the summer. Renovating it from the inside.”
“Doesn’t he lose so much money if he closes it during a summer break? There are a lot of tourists who want to see the dancers perform,” Clarity stated, but Kent shook his head.
“If people want to see a show, they’ll travel to Los Angeles when the club is open.”
I moved the straw around in the milkshake and stared at the both of them. “I heard the boss wanted to take weeks off because he didn’t know whether he wanted to continue with running the club on its own.”
“Those are just rumors!” Clarity assured me instantly. I felt relief falling off my shoulders. “The Empire is just a well-known club; everyone talks about it. And if the boss is gone for a couple of weeks, everyone thinks he will shut it down.”
“He will never shut it down,” Kent proclaimed, sounding rather bitter.
“It’s a family business,” Clarity said – like she already knew I wanted to ask why the club wouldn’t close.
***
Coming home in this apartment was getting less hard to do. I enjoyed being here. Clarity, Kent, and I stayed for – approximately – an hour at the café before we parted ways.
Kent suggested to take me home, but when I told him I was with my car. There was nothing to worry about.
I had made room for myself in the
living room. It was around eleven p.m., but I had to dance – I had to practice this routine for another time. It needed to be flawless and ready to be showed at any time of the day.
I put my heels on and prayed no one in this apartment was going to get annoyed by the music – or me dancing. I tried to keep the noise down and followed the routine I created back in Texas. The more I danced this choreography, the easier it was.
So I kept dancing parts of the dance wherever I went. During my breaks, I could dance in the lunchroom. No one seemed to walk in during the times I had a break – which was a good thing, since I didn’t want to show it to each and every one.
It was around ten p.m. when every customer had left the café. I was the only one who was closing today.
After I locked the door, I made my way to the stereo and plugged the AUX cable in my phone. The pace I got here was enormous, so I thought it was a marvelous idea to dance to my chosen song and clean at the same time.
Everything went so smoothly that it baffled me how well I remembered the dance.
“That’s sick!”
I stopped with dancing instantly and dropped the broom.
“Clarity, you scared the shit out of me!” I exclaimed, and my hand was resting on my heart.
“Sorry,” she apologized. “Didn’t mean to give you a heart attack.”
She walked over to me and sat on a chair. “Is that for the Empire?”
“It’s something I can use. I don’t know yet if I will.”
“It’s absolutely amazing, so I’d recommend dancing that in front of everyone.”
I felt myself blush.
“And your voice is unbelievable!” She added another compliment, and I felt myself feeling uncomfortable by all the sweet things she said to me.
“Thank you,” I mumbled. “Why are you here?”
“I forgot my jacket,” Clarity told me.
Clarity stayed for a while, and we were getting to know each other better. I didn’t ask her to help me with cleaning up the café, but she didn’t like to see me working hard while she sat there – so she grabbed the broom I once dropped.
