by Vella Munn
“Just before Alexa called. Of course Dad said he was perfectly capable of stringing lights like he’s always done. Mom told him there was no way that was going to happen, that they’d wait for you.”
“Wise woman.”
“I just wish you didn’t have to do it all.”
“You’ll get my bill. There aren’t any lights on the lodge roof are there? That sucker’s steep.”
“It’s also buried under snow,” he explained followed by bringing his brother up to date on how much snow had fallen overnight. He should have put on his coat before going out, but his office walls had been closing in on him.
“How’d the tree decorating party go?” Boone asked. “Alexa loves the picture you emailed. Now she’s asking why we can’t have one as big.”
“What did you tell her?”
“To ask her Uncle Shaw.”
Shaw explained that the question of Santa Claus’s existence had been more important than trees to the girl. Next year he’d do everything he could to get his family here for Christmas. Just because he’d left where he’d once believed he’d spend his life didn’t mean he’d deserted the people he loved.
“What about Haley Walters?” Boone pressed. “Was she there? And, for the record, your sister-in-law commanded me to ask.”
He hadn’t said much about Haley, just that she was one of his best hires, but maybe Carol had heard something in his voice that led her to conclude Haley was more than just an employee to him.
“She was there.”
“And?”
“And we talked.”
“What about?”
“Some pretty serious stuff.”
“About what you—”
“No! Sorry, no. Not that. Boone, her mother was murdered.”
“That’s horrible. Who killed her?”
“I don’t know.” But this might explain her aversion to guns.
“You don’t—wait. You didn’t interrogate her, did you?”
“Of course not. I got the distinct vibe she wasn’t ready to talk about it. We—I don’t think we were discussing her family right before that came up.”
“What were you discussing?”
“Darn but you’re nosy.”
“Yep.”
“All right. I think I’d been talking about parents and how profoundly their children’s lives impact them.”
“Like Mom and Dad went through.”
“Yeah. Like Mom and Dad.” His brother was the one person he could be totally honest with. “I’m not sure what got me started on that or how far I intended to go.”
“Do you know her well enough for that?”
He didn’t and yet he’d been tempted. Fortunately, he’d come to his senses in time. “That isn’t the point.”
“Why isn’t it?”
Darn you. “Because I didn’t say anything. She did.”
“Yes, she did.” Boone was silent for several seconds. “I’m thinking you two are just getting to know each other and yet she trusted you with something pretty intense. If she was willing to go that far maybe she wants to go the rest of the way, even if she doesn’t know it. How will you handle it if she does?”
I don’t know.
*
Haley didn’t hear from Shaw until late in the afternoon. Last night’s storm plus reports of treacherous driving conditions had resulted in about half of the day’s clients canceling. As a result she hadn’t been particularly busy. After clearing the roof, she and Daron had researched alternative education programs. They’d identified several, and Daron said he’d talk to his mother about them.
She wanted to tell Shaw about her conversation with the teenager, but when he called, she almost didn’t answer her phone. Talking to him might be easier if she’d gotten a night’s sleep. Instead, she’d kept replaying what she’d impulsively told him. Even harder on her nerves, when she had dozed off, too-familiar images had taken over.
To her relief, and probably in deference to his consideration for her, Shaw didn’t bring up her admission that her mother had been murdered. Instead, he told her that the new snowmobiles and trail groomer could arrive as soon as the day after tomorrow.
“Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be able to get away to come see them,” Shaw said.
“It isn’t necessary. I know what to look for.”
“I’m sure you do. I just wanted to see—you.”
She stared, couldn’t speak.
“Haley, did you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“What is it? Wrong thing for me to say?”
“No.” Absolutely no. “I guess I’m confused trying to figure out our relationship.”
“Yeah?” He sighed. “That makes two of us.”
*
The new snowmobiles were everything she’d hoped for and then some. She and Daron had reacted like kids. There’d been a little racing and tight turns involved, all right, more than a little. She’d called Shaw and told him the machines would satisfy the most demanding clients. After that, they briefly talked about Daron’s educational opportunities. Then he said he was expecting a call from the resort’s attorney about the garbage collection contract.
Their relationship continued in that vein for the next week. They talked on the phone every afternoon. Each time after they’d covered the day’s news, she waited for him to say something of a personal nature, but he didn’t. Neither did she. Tiptoeing around the man who was often on her mind kept her off-balance. She wanted things to change.
It took Rey’s workmen not quite three days to more than double the size of her office and install a small but efficient wood stove. Shaw unexpectedly showed up as she was hanging pictures that included a framed enlargement of the wolf tracks they’d discovered. Just before he walked in, her nerves had gone on alert so she wasn’t really surprised to see him. However, that didn’t stop her from staring at him. He did the same, two people silently taking each other in. Not addressing the energy that suddenly filled the space.
At his suggestion, she placed the tracks picture on the wall behind her chair so clients’ attention would be drawn to it. That way, he pointed out, she’d have the perfect opening to tell them about the remote possibility that they might see a wolf.
“I know you’ll downplay things,” he said from his side of the desk. “No need for anyone to arm themselves.”
She winced at the word arm which she suspected was deliberate but agreed. More than a week had passed since Shaw had placed her palm against his cheek and she’d told him about her mother. The gesture had broken through barriers she wasn’t sure he was aware of and she didn’t know how to handle. They’d twice run into each other in the evening, but this was the first time they’d been alone together for what felt like a long time. She wanted to be relaxed, to simply accept his presence, but her body wouldn’t cooperate. It was probably best that there was a barrier between them since she couldn’t look at him without wanting more. Darn his leg-hugging jeans and the sweatshirt that did a lousy job of hiding the width of his shoulders and depth of his chest.
“We never did get together to look at the collection of wildlife photographs,” she said.
He shifted his weight. “I thought you’d bring it up if it mattered to you.”
Oh no, he wasn’t going to dump that on her. “I came to the same conclusion about you.”
“Did you? Look, it’s been awkward between us since—I didn’t want to put pressure on you.”
She wasn’t sure whether to thank him or to insist he not treat her as if she was fragile. Right after her mother’s murder she would fall apart if anyone so much as spoke to her, but that had been years ago.
Because she didn’t know how to tell him that without putting too much focus on herself, she explained she’d gone to Kolina and Terron’s place after work on Monday where she’d selected the pictures she wanted to give to her family. Once Kolina had printed them out, Haley had placed them in a padded envelope and mailed them. She’d included a note letti
ng her family know why she’d made the selections she had.
“I owe Kolina,” she admitted. “I’d really feel guilty for imposing on her if I didn’t know how much she likes showing off her collection.”
“I know.” Shaw had been looking at her since he’d come in. That didn’t change. “I did the same thing and got the same reaction from her.”
“Ships passing in the night,” she muttered.
“That’s wrong. Haley, I think we need to spend more time together.”
Her stomach knotted but just for a moment. “I’d like that. Uh, I have a stew in the slow cooker if you’re interested.”
“I’m interested.”
Chapter Fifteen
Haley had put her personal stamp on the mobile she was renting. The furniture wasn’t new, but everything was clean and well-maintained. More to the point, it felt like her. Her essence filled the space and spoke to him. Whispered of deeply personal, decidedly sexual things. Made him question his ability to act in a civilized manner. But even if he wound up doing or saying something he shouldn’t, he didn’t want to be anywhere else.
She’d arranged the two chairs and the couch in the living room so whoever was there could watch TV plus look out the large window. She’d placed several pine cones in a wooden bowl and set the arrangement on her dining area table. He imagined her making her choices based on her emotional connection with each pine cone. A photograph of Mount Lynx with a dusting of snow on it and another of a couple of men ice fishing on a frozen Lake Serene gave life to the walls. The picture of a man, woman, and two teenage girls had to be her brother and his family.
As he wandered around the living room while Haley dished up the fantastic smelling meal, he contemplated what she planned to do with the two flower pots that were on her porch come spring.
Spring.
Would she still be here?
“I don’t get the appeal.” He indicated the ice fishermen to give his thoughts a place to go. “Spending hours in the cold waiting for a bite—have you ever done that?”
“I’m not that patient. Besides, I can think of a lot of other things I’d rather do in winter.”
“Like what?”
She didn’t immediately respond, prompting him to study her, not that he hadn’t already done so. She’d changed out of her snowsuit into jeans and a light blue sweater that glided over her small but rounded form. Her hair was loose, her cheeks bright from the elements. He’d never seen a more sexual woman.
“I’ve done some cross-country skiing,” she said. “I brought my skis but haven’t had time to use them.”
“How about on your next day off?”
“I’d like to, but I haven’t been to town in forever. The larder’s pretty bare. Speaking of, this is as good as the meal’s going to get.”
By the time he’d taken two bites, he had no doubt the beef and vegetable stew was the best tasting meal he’d had in years. More to the point, she’d wanted to share it with him. He couldn’t say he was at ease in her presence. After too many days of longing to see her but making himself hold off, he was aware of every move she made, how her voice sounded, every time she glanced at him which was often enough to keep his nerves buzzing. Because he couldn’t tell her how she was affecting him, he informed her that if she got tired of dealing with snowmobiles and customers, he’d give her a job in the kitchen in a heartbeat.
“You’d come to regret it. The slow cooker is my lifeline. So I take it this passes the test?”
“Absolutely.” He wanted to ask how she’d learned to cook but that person had probably been her mother.
As they ate, they talked about the drawbacks to living so far from town followed by admitting that most of the time it wasn’t a problem. At least they weren’t rehashing the weather, and he hadn’t said something dangerous like admitting she’d turned him on.
After Haley had cleaned up—she wouldn’t let him help—they went into the living room where the conversation briefly turned to politics. He thought he might have trouble coming up with much to talk about, but all it had taken was her asking how his niece was handling waiting for Christmas to get him going on his family. After telling her that Boone and Carol were being run ragged trying to keep Alexa’s little brother from tearing into the gifts, he asked about her nieces.
Her eyes glowed and she looked as if she didn’t have a care in the world while she extolled the benefits of Skype. She told him how the girls’ volleyball teams were doing and her brother’s admission that he was glad Kassi had broken up with the boy she’d been dating.
“Kassi had confided in me that the boyfriend wanted her to spend all her time with him,” Haley explained. She was rubbing her right knee which made concentrating on words difficult. “He got upset if she talked to any other boy. I tried to warn her about his possessiveness, but I wasn’t sure I was saying the right things.”
“Maybe she’s more likely to listen to you than her folks.”
“That’s why Mick and Carol brought me on board.” She smiled ruefully. “For some reason, Kassi thinks I have it all together.”
Smile like that again, please. “I’m looking forward to being seen as a fountain of knowledge by my niece and nephew.”
“I don’t think that stage lasts very long.”
“You’re probably right. We might as well enjoy being seen as the relative who has it all together for as long as we can.”
She studied her short nails. “I’ve thought about why the girls confide in me. I think part of it is because that time in my life stands out.”
Her mother had been murdered when she was fourteen. “Do your nieces know what happened to their grandmother?”
He guessed she didn’t want to look at him, but to her credit she did. Just the same, wariness lurked beneath the surface. “They don’t know all the details. Maybe because they grew up hearing about it, they haven’t shown much curiosity. That might change.”
At least she hadn’t changed the subject. “Have you and your brother talked about how you’d handle that?”
She leaned back and closed her eyes. “Not enough.”
If he hadn’t been through his own storm, he probably wouldn’t have been able to comprehend what she was thinking about, but he got it. She was reliving her mother’s murder. Much as he wished he was holding her, this was probably safer.
“It’s going to be hard,” she said with her eyes still shut. “The girls are old enough that they understand that bad things happen. Last year one of Maddie’s best friend’s parents were in an accident. The father wound up with a broken hip and the mother had a concussion.”
As she detailed what she knew of the accident and that Maddie and Carol had made several casseroles to take to the family, Shaw realized she was dodging around what had triggered this particular topic. Her brother was some ten years older than her which meant he might not have been living at home when their mother was killed. Maybe Haley had seen—
Ah, no, I don’t want that for you.
“I don’t know which would be better,” he said, “sitting your nieces down and spelling things out or waiting for the opportunity to work it into a conversation.”
“I don’t think there’s a right way, or if there is I haven’t discovered it.”
The more he thought about it the more convinced he became that Haley had firsthand knowledge of how her mother had died while her brother didn’t. Otherwise wouldn’t Mick be taking the lead in informing his daughters? He wanted to demand that Mick let her off the hook, but the family dynamic wasn’t his business. He was an outsider but wanting to come closer. The why of that desire had a great deal to do with her role in every dream he’d had recently.
“If you want to talk about it…”
She stood and walked over to the window, reminding him of what had taken place when they’d been together at the resort. The mobile had blinds but she’d pulled them up as high as they’d go. He could see the snow-covered evergreens. Did she think of the trees as shelter and co
mfort or did she wish she could see more of her world? He hoped the trees made her feel less alone.
I’m here. Does that matter to you?
And can I deal with the consequences if it doesn’t?
“You’re here for a meal,” she said by way of answer. “We’ve solved a few of the world’s problems, or rather we’ve decided they’re mostly beyond solving.”
“I don’t care about the rest of the world. It’s you I’m concerned about.”
“Me? I’m fine.”
Do it. Get the words out. Risk a great deal “Haley, your mother was murdered. That isn’t something a person gets over.”
Her expression hardened. “I’ve had years to do just that. I don’t need or want my hand held.”
At first, he didn’t know how to handle her anger if that was what it was. Then, because he’d been down a similar road, he realized her statement was a result of the wall she’d built around herself. The only thing she knew to do was keep him at arm’s length just as she’d probably done with everyone else.
Not sure what he could or couldn’t get away with, he stood and joined her at the window. He slowly looped an arm around her shoulder. To his relief, she didn’t draw away. “I appreciate your honesty. I won’t try to be your big brother.”
“I didn’t mean—I hope you don’t take what I said the wrong way.”
“I won’t.” At least I’ll try not to.
“It’s just that—I guess I want things to be simple.”
“So do I.” Maybe. “Not long before I moved here, I took Alexa to see Bambi. Her little brother was getting a lot of attention so I wanted to do something special just for her.”
“That was sweet of you.”
Encouraged by her response, he explained that the moment the movie was over, Alexa begged him to let her watch it again. “She didn’t care about going out for the pizza I’d promised. She just wanted to watch Bambi, Thumper, and the other creatures. That night she told her parents she wanted a deer family for her birthday.” He smiled. “I’d love to get her here in June when the fawns are born.”
