by Linnea May
No, not something. Someone.
“Jim?” I exclaim, aghast horror replacing everything else on my mind.
Kade shifts next to me, leaning over to see out the window on my side of the car.
“Your ex?” he asks. “Is that him?”
He juts his chin forward, directed at the dark figure standing on top of the stairs at my front door. Jim is wearing the gray polo I bought for him on his last birthday, his hands shoved into his pants pockets and his head lowered as he stands with his shoulders stiff and raised to his ears, as if he’s freezing cold.
Or angry.
I know this stance. He’s pissed.
I nod. “Yes, that’s Jim.”
“What’s he doing here? Is he waiting for you?”
“That’s what it looks like.”
“Did you agree to meet tonight?”
I turn around, throwing a dark frown at Kade. “Of course not. Why would I do that? And why tonight, when I’m out with you? That makes no sense.”
My heart is galloping with anger. I’m furious at Kade for even suggesting something so idiotic. Is he seriously that jealous?
“I’m sorry, I have to go deal with this,” I tell him as I unfasten my seat belt, about to get out of the car.
“I’m coming with you.”
“No you’re not, Kade. This doesn’t concern you.”
But he’s faster than me, already out of the car while I’m still trying to argue with him.
I watch in terror as he approaches Jim with wide and determined steps, balling his hands into fists as if getting ready for a physical confrontation.
Shit.
I jump out of the car, not even bothering to close the door behind me as I run after him.
“Kade! Stop!”
He slows at the sound of my voice but doesn’t stop walking, his gaze still fixated on Jim, who’s turning around to us with an expression I’ve never seen on his face before: a colorful blend of shock, surprise, and confusion topped with a cold splash of utter pain. His jaw drops as his eyes dart back and forth between me and Kade as we approach him with different intent.
I catch up to Kade and manage to grab his strong arm, feeling helpless and small as my fingers dig into the fabric of his suit jacket, fully aware that I can only hold him back if he lets me.
“Please, Kade, I can handle this,” I beg him. “Please don’t do anything stupid.”
He nods, accompanied by an unhappy growl. “I won’t if he won’t.”
Fair enough. I know Jim well enough to know he’s not one to provoke a fight, especially not against someone who’s physically superior to him.
With Kade, however, I’m not so sure.
I step in front of him, placing myself between the two as we come to a halt at the foot of the steps. Jim still has his hands in his pocket as he leisurely walks down to us. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that he stops at the first step, towering over both of us when he says, “So that’s the replacement, huh?”
Kade shuffles behind me, and I move closer in front of him, making sure he’d have to push me aside before he could reach Jim.
“Jim, what are you doing here?” It’s hard to tell if he’s just furious and nervous, or if he might be intoxicated. The latter wouldn’t bode well for him.
“What’s he doing here?” he barks back at me, pointing at Kade, whose anxious rage is palpable. “Who is that asshole, anyway?”
“Hey, buddy—”
I literally slam against Kade as he takes a step forward, raising his fist at Jim, who flinches in surprise. My back hits rock-hard chest with such a strong impact that it pushes the air out of my lungs. Kade is so enraged that he’s trembling, holding back only because I force him to.
“Oh, you don’t have to protect your new boyfriend from me, Lila!” Jim snaps, coming dangerously close as he takes that last step down to us. I can tell by the spark of insecurity that dashes across his face that he only now realizes how much taller than him Kade really is, but it doesn’t slow him in the least. On the contrary, it seems to fuel his irrational hate even more.
“Big guy can’t fight for himself, can he?” he bellows at Kade, completely ignoring me.
Kade almost pushes me out of the way as he tries to reach Jim, who still protrudes his chin defiantly at him.
“Please!” I shriek, so high-pitched and loud that both guys flinch as if in pain.
I turn my back to Jim, placing both of my hands on Kade’s chest as I face him, locking him down with a pleading look.
“Please, Kade, you have to go. I can deal with this by myself. I have to. You’re only making this harder by being here.”
My voice is soft and so low that it’s not more than a hoarse whisper.
He reciprocates my look, his dark eyes resting on mine as if trying to read something behind them, searching for something I might be hiding from him, a silent cry for help that would negate my words and tell him to stay.
But there is no such thing. I really want him to leave, because his presence is poison to Jim’s mood and it makes it impossible for me to handle this in the way I want, the way I should handle this.
“Are you sure?” he asks, shooting a dark look at Jim over my shoulder.
“Yes, she’s fucking sure. Don’t play the damn hero!” Jim snaps at him. “Get the fuck away from her.”
I roll my eyes, only visible to Kade, before I wink at him. “Don’t worry. I got this.”
His eyes bounce from me to Jim and back to me, ultimately nodding. Then he lifts his hand, pointing at Jim as he hisses, “If you harm her, you’re dead. Got that?”
I worry that Jim’s condescending chuckle could lead Kade to jump at him, but he restrains himself, giving me one last reassuring look before he turns on the spot and marches back to the limousine.
Chapter 28
Lila
I wait until the car’s turned the corner before I face Jim. Stupid, sad and hurt Jim. I expect to find him triumphant, thinking he won or something, but the face that looks back at me is not that of a winner.
It’s the exact opposite.
He looks pale, a layer of long-lasting pain covering his entire expression. His lower lip is quivering as he tries to speak, scanning me from head to toe as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing.
“What the hell happened to you?” he asks, his eyes lingering on my throat. “What the fuck are you wearing? Is that a fucking collar?”
He steps closer and my hand shoots up to my neck, touching the metal as if I was trying to protect it from him.
“That’s none of your business, Jim,” I say, my voice hard but not nearly as aggressive as it would’ve been just a few moments ago. Seeing the pain in his eyes softened me, making me realize once again what I did to him, and how hard it was for him to accept. It obviously still is. “What are you doing here? Why are you standing at my door in the middle of the night?”
“Your door,” he repeats. “I remember a time when this used to be our door. Our home. And you were my girl, my fiancée—not someone else’s dog!”
I gasp in shock when he rushes forward, hooking a finger through the ring at my collar and pulling at it. “I know what this is, Lila. I’m not an idiot!”
He doesn’t tug at the collar hard enough to actually hurt me, but it’s not physical pain that stabs into me when he touches it. It’s wrong. It’s not his to touch. It’s like he’s invading a sacred space that belongs only to me and Kade.
I reach up and yank his hand away, relieved the moment he loses his grip on me. But he’s still standing too close for comfort. I’ve never seen him like this before, so angry, so aggressive and irrational.
So frightening.
Maybe I shouldn’t have sent Kade away. What if Jim wants to hurt me? He’s not strong like Kade, but he could still overpower me with ease. He could do whatever he wants with me, and while that idea fills me with pleasant thrills when it comes to Kade, this situation induces nothing but fear. Cold, intimidating fear.
&
nbsp; His breath is dancing on my face as I try to come up with a way to calm him.
“Jim, I’m sorry for what I did to you,” I tell him, my tone as amiable as I can manage under the circumstances. “I know you’re still struggling with it. But you were doing so well. Why regress now? Why show up at my place like this? Didn’t you tell me you found your own? If you’re here to pick up the rest of your stuff, we can—”
“I’m not here to pick up my fucking stuff.” Bitterness fills every single word. “I’m here because I needed to see it with my own eyes.”
“See what with your own eyes?”
He glowers at me. “What’s become of you.”
I don’t know why, but his words hit me with surprising force. It’s a balmy summer night, but I suddenly feel so cold, a shiver running down my spine.
“What’s become of me? Jim, I left you. I left you because I wasn’t happy. That’s all there is to it. Nothing became of me.”
“Then what the fuck is this?” he snaps, reaching for my collar again. “What is he doing to you? Why do you wear a fucking collar like this? Did he force you to?”
“Jim, you don’t understand. This isn’t—”
“No, I don’t understand! And I don’t have to. This is sick, Lila. Fucking sick! He treats you like a fucking dog. I saw the way he was with you. I know what kind of man he is!”
“You don’t know anything! You don’t underst—”
“Yes, I know! Elene told me, Lila. She’s worried about you. We all are!”
My irritation is instantly replaced by horrific shock. I stare at him, my eyes as wide as my mouth as I try to make sense of what he just said.
I haven’t spoken to Elene in weeks. There’s no way she knows about Kade or the things we’ve done together.
Unless he told her. But why would Kade do that? And why would he lie about it?
And who does Jim mean when he says “we all are”?
“What did my sister tell you?” I ask him, my voice hoarse and thin.
There’s the triumphant smile I was expecting earlier. He regards me with an ugly smirk while he makes me wait for a response.
“She saw you,” he says. “She saw you disappear with that guy. At her wedding. The wedding we thought we’d attend together—”
“So what, Jim!” I’m so tired of this, of him.
“And her husband, he knows the guy—”
“I know that!” I bark. “They work together!”
“That’s not all they have in common,” Jim says, huffing in disgust. “I know what kind of man your sister married. We both know it. And you know where she met him.”
I glare at him through narrowed eyes, quietly urging him not to proceed. He ignores the unspoken warning.
“We both know what kind of sick bastards they are, and what kind of disgusting place they like to visit—”
“It’s not disgusting!” I blurt out. “And he’s not a sick bastard!”
The look on Jim’s face tells me I should’ve kept that to myself. Up until know, he was basing his judgmental assessment on nothing but suspicion. But I just proved him right.
“Ah, so you do know,” he says, a condescending smile appearing on his face. “Is that where he took you tonight? To show you off with that silly collar around your neck while degrading you, treating you like a goddamn animal—”
“Shut up!” I yell at him, surprising myself with the volume of my voice.
I’m so sick of this, so sick of him. I don’t want to hear whatever shitty accusation he’ll level next. I don’t want to hear it. I want him to go away.
So I push him. Or at least try to. I place my hands on his chest and give him a good shove to put some much-needed distance between us.
But he doesn’t let me. He bounces back to me right away, this time crowding me even more than he did before. I manage to slip beneath his arm when he reaches out for me, storming up the stairs to my door while rummaging in my purse for my keys.
He reaches the top of the stairs at the same time I pull the keys out of my purse, fingers closing around the metal in my hand as he pushes me against the door with the weight of his body.
“Jim, please! You’re scaring me!” I cry out. “I’m gonna scream for help if you don’t leave right this second!”
“Isn’t that how you like it now?” he spits in my face. “Isn’t that how you want to be treated? Like a dumb little—”
“No!” I shriek, so high-pitched and loud that it’s painful to the ears, even my own. I don’t think I’ve ever used my voice like this, filled with so much desperation and fear. Even my bellowing cries during my play with Kade were nothing in comparison, lacking the terrible conviction this one carried.
But it does the job.
Jim stares at me, his eyes widening. He doesn’t say a word as he backs away from me, slowly granting me the space I’ve been asking for.
His horrified expression still rests on me as I take my chance and turn away from him, unlocking the door with trembling fingers and fleeing inside, back to safety. Away from him.
Chapter 29
Kade
Leaving her alone with that enraged idiot was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and I regretted it the moment I got back in the car.
But I knew she was right. I had to trust her and let her deal with this guy on her own. As much as it bothers me, it doesn’t concern me. Her dead wood is not my problem.
At least it shouldn’t be.
I was ready to give her the room she asked for, but I wasn’t ready to leave Lila to herself and risk her getting hurt. So I told the driver to get out of their sight and park a block down from her house, where I jumped out and made my way back to a street corner from which I could watch them. My heart was racing with worry and a feeling that should have no place in this.
Jealousy.
Despite everything, I feared that she might ask him to come upstairs. That, after seeing him and talking to him, she would realize she’d made a mistake and reconcile with him. That I was too much for her after all, too much pain, too much trouble. That I pushed her boundaries too far.
She said it herself: It was hard to leave her ex-fiancé, and she admitted it was still tough to deal with, even though she thought she did the right thing for herself. She was never truly convinced, and each leathery strike that broke her delicate skin might’ve pushed her away from me instead of bringing us closer as it was intended.
You never know with girls who are new to this, girls like Lila who have always been the quiet and good ones, the ones who dated proper boys and considered themselves safe within the realm of the ordinary.
Breaking up with her fiancé was the first step in breaking free from all of that, but by getting involved with me, Lila took a shortcut to a world she may not be ready for. It’s one thing to break free from a path that was as boring as it was secure. It’s an entirely different story to exchange all that with someone like me.
She may not want me to, but I feel fucking protective over her, and the thought of losing her because she decided to go back to where she came from hurts as much as the thought of her getting hurt by him.
I watch the scene unfold from afar, flinching nervously every time that Jim guy gets too close to her, every time they move in a vicious dance around each other. He crowds her several times, trying to intimidate her, but she stands up to him like a true warrior, putting him in his place by facing him with her back straight, chin up and a defiant look on her pretty face.
That stance is just as sexy as her surrendering under my strong command.
Yet I can’t help but wonder what she might be hiding under the mask. Insecurity? Doubt? Is she defending her decision in front of him, or is she susceptible to the dangerous thoughts he might be trying to plant right now?
I wish I could hear what they’re saying.
And I wish I didn’t have to linger at the corner like a fucking creep. But if this loser is trying to steal my woman away from me…
M
y woman.
Shit, now I sound like the fucking loser here.
I jerk up when I see them moving again, raising their voices as they charge at each other. Or rather he charges at her and she manages just in time to get out his reach, running up the stairs as she digs inside her purse, searching for something. Maybe pepper spray. Oh God, how I’d love that.
I swear, when this motherfucker runs up the stairs after her, pushing her against the door as he threatens her, I’m this close to rushing over and beating his fucking face in. I’m just about to make my move when he suddenly backs off after she screams something that even I can understand from where I’m standing.
It’s just one word. One short, simple word. But it’s a powerful one.
“No.”
He freezes at the sound of it, his body stiff as he retreats from her, taking one step back, then another. Their stares rest on each other for just a moment before Lila turns around and unlocks the door. Lucky for him, he doesn’t try to stop her when she slips through the door, quickly closing it behind herself and disappearing out of our view.
Seconds stretch into an eternity as we both stand frozen, his eyes glued to the door that just closed in front of him, mine glued to him.
I won’t leave before he does. So I wait.
I keep my eyes on him, observing as he slowly relaxes, his shoulders losing their tension and his head lowering. He stands like that for a few moments, looking crestfallen and lost.
“Leave, you idiot,” I hiss, knowing full well he can’t hear me.
Nonetheless, he seemingly reacts to my words, moving right after I’ve uttered them. But he doesn’t turn to leave. Instead, he takes two steps forward, and just as I think he’s about to ring her doorbell, he goes down on his knees and picks something up. I’m too far away to see what it is, especially since he has his back to me.
But whatever it is seems precious enough to take with him. He shoves the find in his pocket and finally makes his way down the stairs, running in the other direction.
Chapter 30
