by Leanne Banks
* * *
The next morning, she awakened to the sound of Emma chatting through the baby monitor. And no Benjamin beside her. She felt an odd sense of loss and confusion but pushed it aside as she pulled on a long-sleeved T-shirt, underwear and a pair of jeans. Walking into the nursery, Coco found Emma batting at a stuffed bunny and chatting with it.
Coco’s heart twisted in love. Emma had grown so much since the first day she’d taken over as nanny. “Hello, Miss Chatterbox. How are you this morning?”
Emma immediately turned her head to look at Coco and gave her a toothless smile.
“Aren’t you the gorgeous one?” she said and changed the baby’s diaper. She lifted her up from her crib and pointed to Benjamin’s photograph on the chest of drawers. “That’s your daddy. Can you say daddy?”
Emma made several unintelligible sounds.
“Da-da,” Coco said. “Da-da, Da-da, Da-da.” She’d coached the baby too many times to count.
Emma continued to make her sounds. Just as Coco began to turn away, the baby said, “Da-da.”
Coco blinked. “Did you say Da-da?”
“Da-da-da-da,” she repeated.
“You’re saying Da-da,” Coco said, so excited she couldn’t stand it. “Da-da.”
“Da-da-da-da,” Emma said.
“Gotta find your daddy,” Coco said and bolted for the stairs. She hoped Benjamin was in the office. Darting to the office door, she threw open the door, but he wasn’t there. Her heart sank. “Dang.” Searching her mind for a way to record the moment, she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and pushed record. “Say Da-da,” she said holding the phone toward Emma’s mouth.
Distracted by the phone, Emma leaned toward it and tried to lick it.
“No,” Coco said and pulled the phone slightly away. “Da-da,” she coached. “Da-da.”
“Da-da,” Emma whispered.
“Good girl,” Coco said. “Again. Da-da.”
“Da-da-da-da-da-da.”
Coco saved the recording and kissed Emma on her cheek. “Yay.”
After she gave Emma her bottle, Coco sent the voice recording to Benjamin’s phone.
Moments later, he called her back. “Did I hear what I think I heard?”
“You did. Your daughter said Da-da. How does it feel?”
“Pretty damn good,” he said. “Do you think she knows what she’s saying?”
“Mostly,” she said. “I point to your photo and say Daddy. She said it for the first time this morning. I’m excited.”
Benjamin chuckled. “I can tell you are. Thanks for the recording,” he said. “And thanks for last night,” he added.
“Sure,” she said, her stomach taking a dip. “Sure. I’ll talk to you later.” She hung up the phone full of mixed feelings. Just hours ago, she and Benjamin had made love, but she could tell that he didn’t want to hear her tell him she loved him. And just now, she was turning cartwheels because his daughter had uttered two identical syllables that may or may not identify him.
Her chest tightened with the realization that she was feeling too much for Benjamin. He might regard her as a fun lover, but he didn’t truly want her as a fiancée, let alone as a wife.
She was his employee.
That knowledge stirred her uncertainties. How was she supposed to manage her growing feelings for Benjamin when they were living in the same house and he seemed more than happy to share her bed? On occasion, anyway. And what would happen to her when his desire for her waned?
Coco wasn’t sure how to keep her heart safe. She was all alone in the world, and even though Benjamin had stepped up to help her, she shouldn’t count on him. She shouldn’t mistake his kindness and sexual interest for anything more.
The house phone began to ring again, calls for Coco, wanting her to make an appearance or give an interview. Coco could tell that Sarah was growing impatient with the interruptions.
After Emma’s morning nap and lunch, Coco decided they could both use an outing. She knew of a park in town and although it was a little chilly, she thought she could bundle Emma well. And, heaven knew, she needed to get out. Her thoughts and feelings were ricocheting throughout her body and mind. She gave a call to the ranch hand Benjamin had assigned to her and left a message when he didn’t answer.
She drove to the park, hauled out the stroller and plopped Emma into it. “Ready to go?” she said.
Emma, wrapped up with a hooded coat, looked around. Coco rose and found a group of photographers coming toward her. She held up her hand. “Whoa. Leave us alone.”
“We just want to ask you more about your visit to Chantaine,” a man said.
“I’ve already said all I’m going to say. The Devereaux were very kind to me and Chantaine is a beautiful island. I wish all of you would have the opportunity to visit. There’s nothing else to say.”
“There has to be more,” a woman said, lifting a microphone in her direction.
“No, there’s really nothing more to say,” Coco said. “Now, please leave us alone.”
“But—”
“But nothing,” Coco said and shoved the stroller away from the paparazzi vultures. She practically ran and it wasn’t a running stroller.
Emma giggled, and Coco wished she could laugh, too, but she was so furious with the intrusion in her life. In Emma’s life. In Benjamin’s life. She would have thought all the craziness would have died down. But no. She wondered how long it would take. She wondered what it would take to make them stop.
Rounding a curve, a man leapt out in front of her. Coco screamed, and Emma began to cry.
“I just want an interview,” the man said.
“Leave me and my—” She searched for the word, because they weren’t her family. Brutal truth. Emma wasn’t her baby. Benjamin and Sarah weren’t her family, as much as she might want them to be. And Boomer wasn’t her dog. “Leave my friends alone.”
She ran away and prayed she wouldn’t encounter anyone else.
* * *
Upset by the paparazzi, Coco struggled to figure out what she should do. It would be so much easier to just continue on her current path. Benjamin was more than happy with how she’d taken care of Emma. He was also happy to have her in his bed as long as deep emotions and true commitment weren’t involved. That reality ripped at her.
So how did she take care of Benjamin and Emma and herself at the same time? Coco brooded over that question. What was best for Emma? What was best for Benjamin? What was best for Coco? The same answer kept coming back to her again and again, and Coco knew it would only cause her more pain. But it was all too necessary.
The next day, she advertised for a nanny.
Over the following week, she avoided Benjamin and interviewed her possible replacement. It sounded drastic, but Coco couldn’t handle her feelings for Benjamin and she wanted the best for both Emma and her father. That meant she needed to leave. She would adjust to the change. She had to. She knew what it was to lose people she loved. Sometimes she wondered if that was her destiny.
Coco interviewed five women for her position. One was perfect. Coco insisted on two background checks that came back cleaner than a whistle. Susan Littleton was perfect. More perfect than Coco was, which made her feel oddly envious.
Despite her yuck feelings, she forged on and confronted Benjamin before he left one morning. “What’s up?” he asked as she met him in the front room.
“I need to talk to you,” she said.
“That’s new,” he said with a grumpy expression on his face. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“Yes. I’m sorry. I wanted to be with you, but—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Benjamin said, clearly not believing her.
Coco took a deep breath. “I think it might be best if I leave.”
B
enjamin’s eyes widened in alarm. “Why?”
“I can’t stand the way the paparazzi are haunting me, Emma, you,” she said. “It’s wrong. And I think the only way to make them go away is for me to go away.”
“What?” he asked.
She bit her lip. “Yes, and then there’s our so-called engagement,” she said. “And the sex. I don’t think I can handle sex and a nonengagement with you.”
“Then we can stop,” he said.
“Easy for you to turn off your emotions. Not for me,” she said. “I really want to stay, but I want what’s best for Emma. And you.”
Benjamin’s expression turned grim. “So what the hell do you think is best for Emma and me?”
Her stomach clenched at the hostility in his voice. She handed him the folder she’d held by her side. “I have found a wonderful replacement. She’s probably even better than I am,” she admitted reluctantly. “Her name is Susan Littleton and I’ve put her through numerous interviews and background checks.”
“I don’t have time for this,” he said.
“She’s already met Emma, and Emma loves her,” Coco said.
“You’re determined to do this,” he said.
“I think it’s best,” she said, her heart breaking.
“I didn’t think you would quit on us,” he said and put his hat on his head. “I’ll meet with her tomorrow,” he said and walked out the front door.
The next day, the shoes Coco had left in Chantaine arrived with a note from Bridget. I can’t believe you left without saying goodbye. I can’t believe you left without your Cinderella shoes. Yours truly, Bridget.
Coco could almost believe Bridget was sincere. She could almost believe Bridget cared about her.
That would be a mistake, wouldn’t it? She looked at the shoes and remembered dancing with Benjamin at the palace. Her heart twisted at the memory. She took the shoes to Emma’s room and put them in the baby’s closet. Maybe when she was older, she could use them when she played dress-up. It tore at her to know she would miss the precious milestones of Emma’s growth.
* * *
After his own background investigation and interview, Benjamin reluctantly approved Susan Littleton. He was angry and upset that Coco was abandoning him. He’d grown to care for her, and God knew Emma adored her. He would have been far more terrified about Coco leaving if he hadn’t observed Susan and Emma. He also knew, however, that Coco had been responsible for bringing Emma to the place that she could accept another caregiver.
His life was simple and the ranch could be boring for a woman. He couldn’t help wondering if Coco shared some of his mother’s qualities. Maybe she had a little wanderlust. That would explain her determination to leave.
Benjamin surrounded his heart and emotions with barbed wire. That way, no one could wound him. He helped Coco pack her small car. Reluctantly.
She placed one last box on her passenger seat and turned to face him.
“You’re sure you want to do this?” he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.
She took a deep breath and bit her lip. “I’m sure it’s right for you and Emma.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Is it that easy for you to leave?”
Her eyes turned dark with emotion. “Not at all. Just the right thing,” she said. “Thank you for everything.”
She hugged him and he couldn’t quite resist embracing her in return. “Yeah,” he said. “Don’t be a stranger, princess.”
She laughed. “That’s such a joke,” she said and pulled back. “Thank you again, for everything.”
Coco got into her car and drove out of his life.
* * *
Coco didn’t know where she was going. She just wanted to remove all the attention directed at her away from Benjamin and Coco. That was her goal. She should feel a great deal of satisfaction. And she did, she told herself. She really did.
So why did she also feel miserable?
Coco drove to Fort Worth and got a cheap hotel for the night. Although she’d carefully planned her exit, she hadn’t planned what she would do next. Coco was at a loss. She considered making a trip to the Gulf Coast. With her car loaded with all her belongings, she wasn’t sure that was practical.
When she awakened the next morning to silence and no baby sounds, sadness overwhelmed her. She missed Emma. She missed Benjamin. She glanced out the window at the gray day and fought tears. Trying to pull herself out of her misery, she took a shower then checked her phone. She’d received a voice message from a Valentina Devereaux Logan, telling her to call her back. To say the least, Coco was surprised by the message. During her continental breakfast provided by the hotel, she debated whether she should return the call.
Tossing a coin, she made the decision when tails won the call.
Coco dialed the number, braced for anything.
“Hello, Tina speaking,” a woman said, as a child screamed in the background.
The sound of the screaming child somehow immediately put Coco at ease. After caring for Emma, it was such a familiar sound. “This is Coco Jordan.”
“Oh, lovely,” Tina said. “Pardon me for a moment. My daughter is being a tyrant. Katiana, you may not have cupcakes for breakfast, and if you continue to scream, you’ll be sitting in the naughty chair.”
Coco couldn’t help smiling at Tina’s words to her daughter.
“There now, again pardon me,” Tina said. “I hear you’re leaving your current position due to the paparazzi. You must come and stay with me.”
Coco blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Yes, you must come here. After all, everyone, except one of my brothers and I, has met you. That’s not at all fair, is it?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Coco said. “How did you know I’d left my job?”
“Bridget called and talked to the housekeeper. I would have called before, but Stefan was such a bear. Of course, now he thinks you walk on water since you got Eve to slow down a bit.”
Coco took a deep breath, trying to stay on track with the conversation. “I really don’t need your pity.”
“Well, you’ve got it because I’ve suffered the paparazzi. But the real reason I want you to come is because I want to meet you. And I want to see your eyes. Bridget tells me you have the Devereaux eyes. But kinder.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Coco said. She hadn’t expected this at all.
“You should say, ‘Yes, thank you very much. I’ll accept your invitation,’” Tina said.
It wasn’t as if she had anywhere else to go, Coco thought. “Maybe I could just visit for the day,” she said, thinking out loud.
“Or longer,” Tina said. “I’ll give you the address so you can put it in your GPS, although you may have to call again once you get closer.” Tina recited the address.
“If you’re sure,” Coco said.
“I’m quite sure and I look forward to meeting you,” she said.
Coco followed the instructions to the ranch where Valentina and her family lived. The main house was beautiful and there was a turkey wreath on the front door to add a homey touch. Standing on the front porch as she knocked on the door made her homesick for Benjamin’s ranch.
She heard a rush of footsteps. “Katiana, heavens child,” a woman said and opened the door. A middle-aged woman with iron-gray hair and a little girl with brown curly hair pulled into pigtails stood in front of Coco.
“You must be Coco Jordan. I’m Hildie and this is Katiana. Come on in. Her Highlyness is on the phone about another one of her charity projects. She’s determined to save the world,” the woman said as she led Coco inside the house to a den furnished with comfortable-looking furniture and toys on the floor. “She’ll be right with you. In the meantime, Katiana, you can pick up your toys and get ready for lunch.”
“But
I’m still playin’,” the little girl said.
“I’ll help,” Coco offered.
Hildie glanced at her. “Hmm. That’s nice of you,” she said and left the room.
“What do we have here?” Coco asked Katiana.
The child picked up one of the figurines on the floor. “This is Rose the Fairy Queen. She’s the boss of the other fairies.”
“I’ll bet she’s very smart,” Coco said. “Where does she take her nap?”
“In the box,” Katiana said and stroked the fairy figurine. “But I like to take them with me when I nap sometimes.”
“It’s probably easier for everyone to get their sleep if they go in the box. Is this a pony fairy?” she asked, picking up a horse figurine.
Katiana nodded and began to tell a story about how the pony likes to take everyone for a ride. Coco couldn’t help wondering if Emma would play with fairy dolls and make up stories about them. Within a few moments, and a few extra stories, the two of them got all the toys put away in the box.
A young woman with wavy brown hair and dressed in casual clothes entered the room. “Oh, no. Have we already put you to work?” she asked. “I’m Tina.”
Coco stood, wondering for a moment if she should curtsey.
“Don’t you dare curtsey,” Tina said as if she’d read her mind and moved toward her, extending both her hands. “It was so lovely of you to come, Coco. And Bridget and Phillipa were right. Devereaux eyes, but so kind. You’ve met my daughter, Katiana,” Tina said.
“Yes, she told me all about her flower fairies,” Coco said. “She’s so verbal.”
Tina ruffled her daughter’s hair. “Yes, a blessing or a curse depending on the moment. Miss Hildie is going to give you lunch while Coco and I have a chat.”
“I want to chat, too,” Katiana said.
“Later, if you take a good nap. Run along,” she said and dropped a kiss on her daughter’s cheek. “Please have a seat. Would you like something to drink? Tea, coffee, apple cider?”
“Apple cider would be great,” she said and Hildie delivered mugs to each of them within moments.
