by Rita Ewing
Leila didn’t feel her tears until a small ring of water had gathered on her knees. She reached for the telephone and dialed through the emotions that she was trying to hold back. As the phone rang, she prayed it would be answered and she would get what she needed. “Hello.”
“It’s me,” she said, hoping she was hiding her tears.
“Well, it’s good to hear from you, baby.”
She closed her eyes and squeezed more water from her eyes. Relief washed through her. She was wanted.
“I’ve been thinking about you.” His sweetness poured through the telephone. “When can we get together? I need you, baby.”
Her tears still flowed, but not because she wasn’t wanted. He said he needed her. And that’s what she needed. “I had an appointment tonight, but I can cancel it,” she said.
If Shawn didn’t care about their son’s teacher conference, why should she? She was more than Shawn’s wife. She was more than a mother. She was a desirable woman. And the man on the other end of the phone purring sweet sounds into her ear proved it.
twelve
“Okay, this is the last one, Leila.” Allen stood at the foot of the quadriceps machine ready to assist with the last rep.
“I’m so sore.” She moaned.
“Come on, girl.” He chuckled. “You’ve been saying that all morning. What were you doing last night?”
Leila released a stream of breath as she returned the machine to the starting position. She tried not to smile. It had been a week since she’d seen her lover after Shawn ran off, but the things they’d done together … She’d probably be sore for a few more days. “I think you’re getting a bit too personal, Mr. Wade.” She stood and wiped her neck with her towel. In the mirror, she could see the entire workout floor behind her, and her smile widened.
Allen marked Leila’s chart and looked up. He followed her glance to a guy dressed in black workout pants and a matching tank top lifting himself on the pull-up bar. Allen frowned. He recognized Leila’s husband’s teammate and wondered if this was the jock Leila was allegedly doing in the parking lot. That would be some mess–Leila being caught with one of her husband’s friends–even worse, his teammate.
“Did you hear what I said, Allen?”
“Uh, no. Sorry.”
“I said, I’ll share my bedroom secrets if you’ll share yours.” She laughed, but he didn’t join her.
“Leila,” he began, leaning closer to her, “I don’t want to get into your business, but you need to be careful … before everyone is in your business.”
She turned away from the man in the mirror and looked at him. “What do you mean?”
Allen motioned his chin toward the man Leila had been watching. “There are some rumors going around.”
“About what?” She followed his glance in the mirror. “You’re not saying that people think … me and him? Please.”
He shrugged. “All I’m saying, Leila, is be careful. And go easy on those public displays of affection–especially the ones … in the parking lot.”
She lowered her eyes. Someone had seen her–damn it. Good thing those days were long over. She was with a real man now, and he damn sure wasn’t anybody’s basketball player. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow at Toni’s premiere. You’ll be there, right?”
He nodded, but she never saw him as she rushed toward the locker room. He shook his head. That was good advice he’d just passed on–keep your personal business private. If he’d been more careful, he wouldn’t be feeling as if he were staggering on a balance beam a thousand feet above the earth. And he would be able to sleep more than two hours every night, rather than pacing the wooden planks of his bedroom floor trying to figure out how he was going to convince Nona to desert Brickhouse and Harlem.
As he turned to the workout room doors, he swayed. He leaned against the mirrored wall and closed his eyes.
“Allen, are you okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, glad it wasn’t Nona, or Leila, or Toni catching him in this state. “Just didn’t eat this morning.”
The woman in the lime-green spandex shorts and matching bra top smiled. “I know how that is.” She paused. “Maybe we can grab something to eat now? Are you free?”
He shook his head and hurried to his office. He never mixed with the clients, although he was bombarded with propositions. But that wasn’t the reason for his rudeness. Dizziness was the first sign. Nausea and abdominal cramps were sure to follow.
He breathed deeply when he closed his office door. Since he had become a regular partaker of these drugs again, he’d learned to time his episodes. He had to reschedule many clients and even cancel a few, but for the last week he had been a functional addict.
At his desk, he opened one of the drawers and pulled out the small metal box. Then he used the key he kept in his pocket, not taking the chance of anyone stumbling on his stash.
Inside the box was the bag. Inside the bag were two capsules. Inside the capsules was his relief.
He glanced at his watch. Five hours had passed. He would have to take one capsule if he wanted to work through the afternoon. But then he’d have only one pill left–and he’d have to do what he’d been trying to avoid. He’d have to make contact.
He looked at the telephone and then he heard it.
Talmadge Williams.
The scratchy hoarseness of the reverend’s voice had stayed with him for the entire week.
Allen turned away from the phone. Maybe he couldwean himself off the steroids. Maybe there was enough in his system to go the rest of the way on his own. Maybe he would never have to make that call again.
Yes, he thought. Except for that spell of dizziness he’d just had, he’d been fine for most of the week. He could do this.
He glanced at his watch and jumped from his chair. It was time to meet Isaac for the first Golden Citizens Health Guild session.
“Argh,” he yelled before he had taken his second step. He clutched the desk, trying to keep himself from collapsing completely. He fought to keep his cries of agony inside, but the pain stabbed him with such severity that he was sure this was his time to die.
“Please, God. Please, God. Please, God,” he whispered between the cramps that gripped his intestines with a force that hammered him to his knees.
Minutes later when the pain subsided, he stayed crouching, afraid that even a deep breath could bring back the wicked spasms. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he accepted that death hadn’t come to him–this time.
He pushed himself back into the chair. So much for thinking he could do this on his own. And who was he protecting by not making the call? It was too late to protect Nona. Because of him, Nona was laid out like a Butterball turkey at Thanksgiving. Reverend Watkins was going to have his way with her, carve her any which way he wanted–all because of him.
Allen poured one of the capsules into his hand and then remembered the pain. He dumped the last one into his hand and swallowed both. This was a first–taking two at one time.
In moments, pleasure flowed through him. At least six free hours. He shook his head at that thought. He’d never be free again.
With no more thought, Allen picked up the phone.
“Talmadge, it’s me.”
The man on the other end chuckled. Allen hated that chortle. In that sound, he heard all of that man’s thoughts–that he knew Allen would call, that he knew Allen was weak, that he knew Allen would be calling him for the rest of his days.
They made their deal, and then Allen grabbed his portfolio. He had to get to Morningside Church. He was the keynote speaker, ready to address the hundreds of senior citizens on how a healthy lifestyle could add years to their lives. As he thought about the words he was about to say, he was grateful for the few acting classes he’d taken in college because today was going to be one of the greatest performances of his life.
thirteen
Even before they were close to Times Square Ke
lly spotted the streaks of light that flashed through the dusk sky from the strobes in front of the Ziegfeld Theatre.
From that moment, Nona had heard the same question every five minutes: “Mom, how much longer?”
And Nona continued to give the same answer. “Not much longer.”
“You said that last time.”
“So why do you keep asking me?”
Kelly bounced back into the leather of the rented Town Car seat, and then smoothed the satin skirt of her dress. “Do you think we’ll see Ms. Lee?”
“Of course.” Nona patted her daughter’s hand. “Calm down, Kelly. There’s nothing to be excited about… yet.”
Kelly took a deep breath and folded her hands on her lap. Nona smiled. All those lessons–ballet, piano, acting–gave her eleven-year-old the grace of one several years older. She was pleased she’d made the decision to share this night with Kelly. She prayed this was a new beginning for them that could end some of Kelly’s challenges.
Nona’s smile faded when she looked up at Allen sitting across from her. It didn’t seem he had heard any of her exchange with Kelly. He was staring out the window, as he had been doing since the beginning of the ride.
She was more than surprised when Allen had called that morning and asked if he could ride with them; and her surprise escalated when she’d said yes. She was so afraid he’d bring it up again. It wasn’t an unusual request; he usually escorted her everywhere. But for the last week, they’d shared the same space, but not their usual lives. Their conversations were polite, forced, not the exchanges of best friends who’d been through so much together. And neither dared broach the subject of the love they shared–Brickhouse–or the rezoning issues. There was no way she’d survive a replay of their last discussion. Even now, the memory of his words pleading with her to quit made her nauseated. It was a conversation with Allen that Nona never wanted to have again.
“We’re here.”
Nona fluttered her fingers through her head, making sure that the front of her spiked style was in place. She smiled as she thought about the night ahead. This was what she needed. A time of celebration with her friends to take her away from thoughts about business.
Ray slowed the car, and before he rolled to a stop, Kelly had her hand on the doorknob.
“Wait, sweetheart,” Nona said, putting her hand on Kelly’s shoulder. “Ray will open the door for you.”
“Oh, I forgot.”
Kelly stepped out first. As Nona leaned forward, Allen caught her elbow, assisting her.
She paused. “Thank you.”
He nodded. In the dimness of the limousine, she stared into his eyes. There was a message in the misery that veiled his face. But a moment later, it was gone when they stepped from the car.
“Mom, this is a real red carpet.”
Nona took Kelly’s hand as they stepped onto the scarlet walkway. While women dressed in designer gowns and men garbed in expensive tuxedos stopped to greet the press, Nona pulled Kelly toward her protectively past the professional celebrity watchers waiting with their microphones and cameras. She shielded her daughter’s face with her hand.
“Nona Simms, look this way.” A camera flashed.
“Nona, over here.” Another bulb exploded.
“Nona, we’re with Access Hollywood. Can we get just a moment?”
The shouted requests continued, but Nona smiled, waved, and walked without stopping.
“Mom, don’t you want to talk to any of them?”
“No, sweetheart,” she said, wrapping her arm around Kelly’s waist. “Tonight is all about you.”
“Me and Ms. Lee.” Kelly beamed.
Nona laughed, and she knew she’d made the right decision. No family photo ops tonight. She wasn’t sure, but after that last photo session she’d shared with Kelly, she wasn’t taking any chances of her daughter being hurt again.
“Nona, it’s good to see you.”
Before she had a chance to step inside the theater, Derrick greeted them.
Oh, God, she thought, swallowing her cheer. This was supposed to be a good night. “Hello, Derrick.”
His eyes passed over her as if he were admiring a piece of art. “You look beautiful tonight, Nona.”
She didn’t know why, but some of the joy she’d lost when she first saw him returned. “Thank you,” she said, feeling for a moment like a teenager.
Derrick shook hands with Allen before he said, “Who is this lovely young lady?”
Nona didn’t think it was possible, but the smile that had filled Kelly’s face widened. “This is my daughter, Kelly.”
Derrick took Kelly’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I didn’t know your mother was going to have such a beautiful date.”
“Thank you,” Kelly said through giggles.
Nona expected Derrick to turn away then, but he kept his focus on Kelly, asking how old she was, where she went to school, complimenting her on how mature she was.
Nona raised her eyebrows as she watched. Allen stood to the side, like a proud father, while Derrick’s questions went beyond polite inquiries. He seemed genuinely interested as he talked and listened to Kelly.
Nona’s eyes roamed over Derrick. It was an involuntary action, she decided. Something she did whenever she saw him. He seemed to have a penchant for Armani–this time it was formal wear. She might have hated the man, but she loved his affection for well-designed clothes, and enjoyed studying the way well-designed clothes loved him back. The black and white combination–the white single-button, notched-lapel jacket, with the black tuxedo pants–was an outfit she would have picked out for him.
She shook her head before a smile could fill her face. He got her every time–with his looks.
“Nona, you have a wonderful daughter.” He leaned closer and pretended to whisper, “If I were just a little younger …”
When Kelly giggled again, Nona had to smile. It wasn’toften that she saw her daughter totally happy, and she had to admit she was pleased that Derrick had made Kelly laugh. Nona allowed her glance to pass over Derrick again, and she inhaled the slight scent of Versace Man that wafted to her nose as he stood so close. She loved that fragrance; she’d purchased a bottle for Allen last Christmas. She closed her eyes and breathed in …
“Hey, girl.”
Leila’s voice dragged Nona from the vision she was about to imagine, and she was relieved. What had she been thinking? This was Derrick Carter. She had to remember that she couldn’t stand the man. Although tonight he was making it a bit difficult for her to keep that in mind.
Nona hugged Leila.
“You look beautiful.” Leila stepped back and admired the Versace backless gown that Nona wore. “I love your hair,” she said.
“You look mighty good yourself.” Nona turned to Shawn. “And you are quite handsome tonight, Mr. Lomax.”
“Yeah,” he grunted and took a sip of the golden liquid inside the glass he held.
Nona tried not to show her surprise as Shawn turned his back on his wife. “So, did you guys just get here?”
Leila nodded as if she were weary. “But we’ve been here long enough for Shawn to already be drinking.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m going over there,” he said, motioning with his chin toward a group of men chatting and laughing at the bar. Nona recognized several of the Knicks. “I’ll catch you later.”
“Shawn, the movie is going to begin …” He moved fast enough and far enough to not hear the rest of her words.
“Oh, sweetie,” Nona said and took her friend’s hand. For the first time since she’d arrived, she was glad that Derrick Carter had stepped into her space. He still had Kelly’s attention.
Leila blinked to keep the water from her eyes. “Don’t say anything, Nona. I’m just trying to hold on. Tonight should be about Toni anyway.” She squeezed Nona’s hand. “And if I can’t have my husband, at least I have my friends.” She took a breath. “And here are two more of them now.”
“Hello, ladies
,” Anna said as she joined Nona and Leila. The mayor followed behind her. “Looks like this is going to be quite a festive affair.”
“Aren’t all of Toni’s premieres wonderful?” Leila laughed.
Nona smiled. Just seconds ago, she was sure that Leila was going to fall apart in the middle of this lobby, but Anna’s presence had cheered her up.
“How are you, Mayor Leone?” Leila asked Anthony.
“Just fine, Leila.” He turned to Nona. “And how are you doing?”
“I’m hanging in there. Doing my best to salvage my business.” She held up her hand. “But I don’t want to talk about this now. No business tonight, just fun.”
“That’s what I’m talking about.” Toni laughed, joining the group in her sheer, curve-hugging Vera Wang gown that matched the color of her eyes and left little for one to imagine. “This is wonderful. The gang’s all here. Now, I have the best seats in the house reserved for all of you,” Toni said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Go to row BB when you get inside.” Toni’s eyes roamed to where Kelly and Derrick stood. “Well, look who’s here. Kelly, it is so good to see you again.”
“Hi, Ms. Lee. Thank you for having me.”
Toni hugged Kelly. She turned to Derrick. “And how are you, Mr. Carter?” she asked through half-closed eyelids.
“Good, Toni.” He greeted the rest of the group before he said to Nona, “Thank you for sharing your daughter with me. We’re still on for tomorrow afternoon?”
“Definitely,” Nona said with more cheer in her voice than she’d planned.
Toni stared at Nona for a moment, then stepped away without a word. Seconds later, Derrick excused himself from the group.
Anna said, “I know you don’t want to talk about business, but I want you to know–the Central Park video … I want to help you with that.”
“Excuse me,” the mayor said, walking away before Nona could respond.
“What’s going on?” Nona asked. “In just five seconds, we’ve driven all the men from our group.” She laughed.
“I’m still here,” Allen said.
“And you’re all we need,” Leila said.
