Akari stared at Lane, speechless.
“We don’t have time for this,” Jinn cut in. “We need to go if I’m to finish in time. Lane’s life is on the line.”
Akari took a step back from them, nodding just once.
Jinn continued to lead Lane down the hall. She considered fighting, trying to run, but she knew it was useless. She was one Human on a ship full of Apkallu. She wouldn’t get far. Besides, this was her best chance to avoid landing in the interrogation room of The Ummanu.
As Jinn laid her out on the surgical table, a wave of abandonment hit Lane. Her own people would hand her over to terrorists in order to avoid a war. Her own people were so willing to work with terrorists instead of standing up to them. Her own people were just leaving her to her fate after all she’d done for them. It made her sick.
And Akari…
Before Lane could begin to piece together how Akari fit into all this, Jinn pressed something to her arm and she fell into unconsciousness.
Chapter 9
Lane woke in fits. Just when she thought she’d emerged from the darkness of unconsciousness, it rose to pull her under again.
Finally she came to completely, blinking at the bright lights above her. Her tongue felt heavy and fuzzy in her mouth. Her head felt equally encumbered.
“Lane?”
Her name drifted to her slowly in an unfamiliar voice.
She blinked again, trying to focus on the shapes around her.
“Lane?”
She knew that voice. She couldn’t place it at the moment, but she knew she’d heard it before.
Shapes and sounds started to make more sense as the fog in her mind cleared.
“Where am I?” she asked, her voice cracking. Her throat felt so, so dry.
“You’re in the sickbay,” a male voice answered. Lane turned her head to see Jinn sitting in a chair beside her bed. He wore an operating gown and a mask, which was pulled down and hanging from his neck. “The procedure went perfectly,” he continued. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“Nothing to worry about!” Lane replied. She sat up quickly, regretting it immediately when her head started pounding. She remained sitting up, just out of pride, but she rubbed her temple.
“Try to relax,” said a new voice. Akari in her Human male form stepped into the room.
“How can I relax when I was just forced to go through brain surgery?” Lane asked.
“It’s not that invasive,” Jinn assured her. “It’s rather routine, in fact.”
“I don’t think that’s helping,” Akari barked, her voice tight with nerves.
“But you feel alright?” Jinn asked Lane.
Lane took stock of her physical well-being, finding that her sore throat and headache were the only things bothering her.
“Just a bit of a headache,” Lane said.
“It’ll pass in a few minutes,” Jinn said. “If it doesn’t, I’ll give you more medication for the pain.”
“Thanks,” Lane said carefully. Then, turning on Akari, she said, “What do you have to say for yourself? How could you do this?” She felt like she didn’t have the energy to have this conversation at the moment, but she had no other choice.
“I told you,” Akari said, “I did this to protect you. The Humans will be here soon to investigate. We had to make sure you were ready.”
Lane crossed her arms, staring at Akari but not answering. She knew Akari was right, but she didn’t want to admit it. She was still too angry and hurt and lost.
“You violated me,” Lane said. “You messed with my brain without permission. That’s unforgivable.”
“I had to.”
Lane thought that Akari, in her defense, did look completely pathetic. Lane tried not to feel bad for her.
“We need to make sure it works,” Jinn said, his tone thin as though he knew his suggestion would be shot down.
Lane turned to Akari, eyes wide.
“What does he mean?” she asked.
Akari took a step toward Lane. At the same time, she transformed into her female Human form and bowed her head in something like supplication.
“He means that we have to check our telepathic connection.”
Lane’s body tensed involuntarily. She held her breath, waiting for something to happen.
When nothing did, she asked, “Well?”
“Are you ready?” Akari asked. “I didn’t want to do anything without asking.”
Akari took another step closer to Lane. Now they were within an arm’s reach. Akari put out her hand slowly, tentatively, and Lane shrank back from the offered touch. The scientific part of Lane’s person was curious beyond words at this next part, but the emotional part of her was still hurt and angry and a little afraid.
Finally, after a moment of indecision, Lane whispered, “Okay. I’m ready.”
Jinn took a step back, all but disappearing into the background, and Akari closed her eyes. Lane clasped her hands tightly in her lap, waiting.
Suddenly, a voice, strangely calm and richly layered, said, “Lane.”
“Holy shit!” Lane shouted in response.
“Are you alright?” Akari asked in Lane’s mind. The sensation struck Lane with its strangeness again. It was like hearing but more somehow: as though the words themselves had textures and smells and colors.
“Try to answer with your mind,” Akari coached outloud. To Lane, Akari’s voice sounded thin and empty in comparison to the voice that had spoken in her mind a moment before.
Lane closed her eyes and tried to send words to Akari without speaking aloud.
“Like this?” Lane asked.
“Yes!” Akari sounded purely elated. Lane couldn’t help but smile at the joy radiating in her mind.
“Good work,” Akari added. “Your scans will come through positive. We’re in the clear.”
Lane frowned at the thought of being prodded by government officials, but she couldn’t help the wave of relief that swept away some of her anxiety.
However, with some of her worry gone, her anger returned full force.
“Leave me alone for a while,” Lane said to Akari. “I need some time for myself.”
“As you wish,” Akari said, bowing her head as she had before. “I’ll be in our quarters when you’re ready. Until then, you can stay here in the sickbay with Jinn. He’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”
Akari turned away from Lane, transforming with ease back into her male Human form. Then, without another word, Akari left the sickbay.
“You shouldn’t be so hard on her,” Jinn said once Akari was gone. “She’s just looking out for you.”
“I know,” Lane said. “I just can’t help feeling betrayed. I didn’t want this. Surely you understand that.”
“If it helps, she didn’t want it either. It’s an adjustment for her, too.”
Lane let out a long breath, not sure what to feel or think. Jinn watched her carefully for a minute, his expression thoughtful.
“Akari is one of the good ones,” Jinn said. “I’ve known her for almost my entire life and I can tell you that she’s one of the good ones. Give her time. I think you’ll find that things are not as they seem.”
With that, Jinn left Lane alone in the room. She laid back down on the bed, overwhelmed with more thoughts and emotions than she could begin to identify.
Chapter 10
The government’s scan didn’t bother Lane as much as she had anticipated. The agents were swift and noninvasive. They got what they needed and left. Lane had thought they would try to interrogate her or persuade her to return, but they hardly spoke to her except to walk her through the scan process.
They finished and packed up, leaving her with the Apkallu as though she was one of them now. She felt, for a moment, that maybe she was. She didn’t feel like she belonged with them, but something about the way the agents treated her and how the General was going to hand her over to The Ummanu felt like she didn’t belong with her own people anymore, either.
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She curled up in her bed in sickbay and tried to decide what to do next. She knew she couldn’t stay in sickbay forever, but she didn’t know where else she could go besides Akari’s quarters. And she didn’t feel ready to face Akari yet. The feelings surrounding Akari were complicated and confused and muddled by the procedure.
She was curious to find out the extent of her new abilities. The scientist in her wanted to run small experiments, figure out all the details, but she could only reach out to Akari and she wasn’t sure that was a good idea.
Lane hesitated, paralyzed by indecision. Surely, it couldn’t hurt to just try to reach out to Akari. Besides, maybe the Apkallu could read her thoughts right now, without her even knowing. Lane knew herself well enough to know that the not-knowing would drive her crazy.
“Akari?” Lane reached out, her question tentative and quiet.
She waited, still and not thinking anything in particular. Then, a voice in her mind answered.
“Lane? Are you alright?”
Even though she was half-expecting them, Lane still found the sudden words, with their layered complexity, jarring. Lane imagined she could hear Akari’s concern in the question.
“Yes, I’m fine. Well, as fine as I can be. I was wondering if I could reach you from here. Have you been reading my mind this whole time?” Lane knew she sounded rambly, but she couldn’t stop herself once she started.
“We can reach each other at rather long distances. And no, I can’t read your mind. I only hear what you send me, just like speaking aloud.”
Akari’s voice was calm in Lane’s mind. Lane found it almost soothing. She clamped up at that realization.
“Okay, thanks,” Lane answered and then didn’t send anything further. Something about the whole ordeal upset her and intrigued her at the same time. She wondered when she’d become such a tangled web of conflicting emotions.
She turned over in the bed, clutching at the pillow and trying not to think about how she was now telepathically linked to an Apkallu. She’d never considered the possibility, nevermind the reality, of the given situation. She groaned into her pillow.
She’d only been lying there for a few minutes, trying to push everything out of her mind, when the memory of her time with Akari resurfaced. Her mind replayed their first kiss, their meals together, their heated encounter on Akari’s couch. Akari’s female form was undoubtedly gorgeous -- far more beautiful than any partner Lane had imagined finding for herself -- and Akari’s Born form intrigued her in a different way. She wasn’t sure if she’d be sexually attracted to it when the time came, but she figured that she’d have to wait and see. There were too many variables, too many unknowns, to come to a solid hypothesis.
Jinn stepped into her room, coughing lightly to get her attention.
“I’m turning in for the night,” he said. “I just wanted to be sure that you had everything before I left.”
“Thank you, Jinn. I’m fine.”
“You’re sure you want to stay here overnight?” Jinn asked. “You have that bed, but they aren’t notoriously very comfortable. You do have your room at Akari’s. She won’t encroach on your space if you don’t wish it.”
Lane wanted to comment that Akari had encroached on her mind and trampled all over her free will. Why would barging into her room be any different? But she was too tired to argue with Jinn. She’d been through too much to have any energy left to fight now.
“I’ll stay here,” she said instead. “Thank you, though. Goodnight.”
“As you wish,” Jinn said, giving her a small bow of his head. “See you tomorrow.”
He slipped out without another word.
After he had gone, Lane let out a long breath and hoped she could sleep soon.
Sleep took her far easier than she expected. Dreams, vivid and elaborate, filled her mind almost immediately.
In her dream, Lane found herself in Akari’s quarters again.
“Hello?” Lane called, unsure who was in the apartment. The walls were glittering and almost transparent, shifting and waving in strange patterns. Lane suddenly felt lost at sea, rocking and tossing from the force of a storm.
“Lane?” came a voice from the next room.
“Akari, is that you?”
The walls solidified around her, returning to how they were in real life, and Akari entered the living room. She was in her Born form, a simple shift hanging over her body. Lane found herself staring at the plume of red feathers on her head.
“You know,” Lane said, “sometimes I forget that you’re an alien. But then you do something like this and I can’t forget.”
“I think that’s why the Humans don’t trust us,” Akari said, stepping closer to Lane. She put out her feathered hand, waiting for Lane to meet it with her own. “Shapeshifters seem deceptive by nature, because they can so easily become something familiar. Just when you feel connected to us, we can change and alienate you all over again.”
Akari’s voice sounded tired. Lane lifted her hand, hovering just an inch away from Akari’s. Akari closed her huge, dark eyes and let out a long hum.
“You smell so good,” she said. Lane watched Akari’s face and realized that she hadn’t been speaking aloud this entire time.
“Why did you do this to me?” Lane asked.
“You mean making you my Abzu?” Akari asked.
“Yes.”
“I told you: it was the only way to protect you. I didn’t know what the Human government would do with you. You are a ward of the state, indebted to them, and they could have handed you over to The Ummanu without another thought.”
Lane felt overwhelmed with confusion.
“How do you know that I’m a ward of the state?” she asked. “I never told you that and it’s not in accessible documentation.”
“The General told me. He said that the government paid for your schooling and you owed them five years of service. You’re still in the five years. You’re still a ward of the state. You were never safe on that station.”
The walls around Lane stayed where they were, but she felt like they were caving in on her. Everything felt just a little too real.
“Wait,” Lane said. “Is this just my dream, or is this more? I didn’t know that the General told you about my status with the state. Am I just making this up?”
Akari closed the distance between their palms and suddenly the colors of the dream intensified. Lane gasped as everything took on more substance around her, somehow feeling even more real than before.
“Lane, we’re really speaking right now,” Akari said. “Bonded Apkallu and Humans can meet in their dreams and communicate. I created this dreamscape out of habit and you walked right into it.”
“I was trying to avoid you!” Lane said and it sounded dumb, even to her, but she was too angry to care. “God, I can’t even sleep to get away from you.”
Akari looked away and whispered, “I guess not. Still, I didn’t bring you here. You came to me of your own will.”
“I thought this was just a dream,” Lane said, frustrated. “Doesn’t this Abzu thing come with a manual? I feel like it’s just one surprise after another.”
“To be honest, there’s a lot we still don’t know,” Akari said. “There are things that we can predict, that occur more often than not, but each coupling is unique. We can’t always be sure what will happen.”
“That’s comforting,” Lane grumbled.
Something between a chirp and a laugh floated through the air. Lane turned to Akari, whose Apkallu face was unreadable.
“What was that?” Lane asked.
“I found your comment amusing,” Akari said. “What do they call it, when you say one thing and mean the opposite?”
“Sarcasm?”
“Yes, sarcasm. I enjoy your sarcasm,” Akari said.
“Well, I’m glad you enjoy it. Some Humans can’t even appreciate it.”
“Their loss.”
Lane looked up at Akari, trying to find the signs of amusement o
n her alien face. She thought she found it in the slight crinkling at the edges of Akari’s black eyes.
“Do you wish me to collapse this dreamscape and send you back?” Akari asked. “I’d show you how to do it yourself, but I think you’ve done enough for one day already.”
Lane hesitated. As much as she was still mad at Akari, she found herself appreciating the company. She hadn’t realized how lonely she felt.
“In a minute,” Lane said. “Come sit with me first.”
Akari nodded and sat on the couch, extending one feathered arm toward Lane. Lane approached Akari slowly, sitting beside her and gradually sinking into her side. Lane found that Akari was soft and warm, her feathers scented like her kiss.
Lane let herself relax against Akari, letting out a long breath and closing her eyes.
Before she knew exactly what was happening, the comfort of Akari brought on another kind of sleep for Lane. The walls of the dreamscape fell away and darkness surrounded them, leaving only the softness and flowery scent of Akari’s feathers.
Chapter 11
Lane spent another two days in the sickbay, pondering her next move and trying to take some distance from Akari. During the day, she wrestled with her conflicting feelings over what Akari had done. But at night. Lane always seemed to stumble into Akari’s dreamscape, her subconscious mind seeking out Akari’s companionship.
Tensions between the Apkallu and Human governments remained at a standstill. Lane knew that each government must be working out what to do, but she wasn’t privy to either side’s plans. She wanted to speak with Maggie, to have some reliable and trustworthy contact with her own people, but she had no idea how to even begin to reach out.
More frustrated than angry, Lane returned to Akari’s quarters.
Lane wandered through the halls of the Apkallu ship, surprised to find that she knew her way through the winding corridors. She made it to Akari’s door and hesitated, her heart thrumming with nerves. She couldn’t help but wonder what had gotten into her. She pressed the door chime to drown out her racing thoughts.
A New Reason To Fight: An Intergalactic Romance Page 56
