by Lilian Darcy
It might have been a while since Paige had been on the back of a horse, but she obviously hadn’t forgotten anything. She looked good in the saddle, with the wind blowing her long dark hair away from her face, her cheeks pink with cold and her eyes sparkling with happiness.
They rode for almost an hour before they reached the top of the bluff where they’d spent a lot of time during those long-ago summers. There was a trio of silver maples clustered together on one side of a man-made swimming hole and, low on the trunk of the fattest tree, Sutter had carved a crude heart with “ST + PD” inside it. Paige had added the inscription “4EVR.”
“Do you want to walk for a bit, to make sure you can still feel your legs?”
“Sure,” Paige agreed.
Sutter dismounted, then took Buttercup’s reins to hold her steady so Paige could do the same. She slid to the ground, keeping a hand on the horse’s flank to maintain her balance.
“You okay?”
She nodded. “But I think having my feet on the ground for a little bit is a good idea.”
They walked in companionable silence for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet of the day and the spectacular scenery of the ranch. He’d grown up on this ranch and had taken it for granted for a lot of years. It was only when he’d moved to Washington that he’d realized how much the Montana landscape was part of his heart and soul. There were a lot of things to love about Seattle, and he did, but it wasn’t in his blood the way Rust Creek Falls had always been.
The distinctive “kee-eee-arr” of a red-tailed hawk sounded, and Paige stopped to watch the raptor slowly turning in circles as it surveyed the open field for any sign of prey. “They’re such graceful creatures.”
“Graceful...and vicious,” Sutter noted as the hawk swooped down to snag some unsuspecting critter in its claws.
She winced. “Yeah, that, too.”
“I guess that means it must be lunchtime.”
“Suddenly I’m not very hungry.”
Hungry or not, he saw that she was shivering. “You’re cold,” he said, and silently cursed himself for not realizing it sooner.
“A little,” she admitted. “I didn’t realize how chilly it was today.”
“You’re more sheltered from the wind in town,” he noted. “Out here, there are no barriers against Mother Nature or her whims.”
“I wouldn’t want any,” Paige said honestly. “Although I wouldn’t have minded a heavier jacket.”
“I’d planned for us to have a picnic, but now I’m thinking that’s not such a great idea.”
“Outdoor picnics are better suited for the summer,” she suggested.
“We had a lot of them.” He stepped up behind her, partly to block the wind but mostly because it gave him an excuse to be close to her, and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into his embrace, her head tipped back against his shoulder. “We’d spread a blanket in the sun by the swimming hole, eat whatever we’d managed to steal from my mom’s kitchen for lunch, take a dip in the water to cool off if it was hot and sometimes you’d let me kiss you.”
He wondered if she ever thought about those long-ago summer days, when they’d spent so much time out here, swimming and kissing and sometimes a whole lot more.
Not that there was any chance of anything like that happening today. It was too cold to even unzip a coat, never mind get naked and busy. Although just thinking about the busy part had him feeling all kinds of hot and bothered on the inside. He banished the enticing thoughts from his mind. “Can you ride a little bit farther?”
“Farther into the middle of nowhere?” she asked warily.
He grinned. “We’re not as far away from civilization as you think.”
He helped her up into the saddle and then he mounted Toby and started away. Ten minutes later, they’d arrived at their destination.
“This is Clayton’s place, isn’t it?” Paige asked.
“And my temporary home away from home.” Sutter tied up the horses and proceeded to fill the trough so they could drink.
While he was doing that, she unpacked the saddlebags. “You’re not staying at the main house?”
“I haven’t spent a night under that roof since I left,” he admitted.
“Oh, Sutter.” Her eyes filled with tears.
“Don’t feel sorry for me, Paige. I know why things are the way they are.”
“Then maybe you can explain it to me.”
“I didn’t toe the family line.”
“You stated a differing opinion—and you had valid reasons for it.”
“Valid doesn’t mean forgivable,” he told her.
“You have to know your mother didn’t mean it when she said that if you couldn’t support your brother, you weren’t welcome in her home.”
“My mother doesn’t usually say things she doesn’t mean.”
She frowned. “Are you telling me that, in the past five years, you’ve never once talked to her about this?”
He opened the door, gestured for her to enter. “What’s to talk about?”
She shook her head. “You need to talk to her,” she insisted. “Otherwise you’re never going to let go of the hurt you’re carrying inside.”
He led her through the foyer, past the den on one side and the living room on the other and into the eat-in kitchen at the back. “Coffee?”
“Yes, please.”
He measured out the grounds, poured water in the reservoir.
“I was mad at her for a long time, too,” Paige commented.
“I’m not mad at her.”
“You should be,” she said. “You had a disagreement with Forrest and she supported your brother, not just taking the side of one son over the other but doing so publicly.”
“Okay, maybe I’m a little mad.” He took a couple plates out of the cupboard and unwrapped the sandwiches.
“And hurt.”
He opened a bag of potato chips and dumped some onto each of the plates. “Let’s eat.”
She huffed out an exaggerated breath. “You’re such a man.”
“Thanks for noticing.”
“It won’t kill you to talk about your feelings,” she told him, carrying the plates to the table.
He poured the coffee into two mugs and took a seat across from her. “And what if you’re wrong about that?”
“Okay. I’ll tell you about mine,” Paige decided.
He picked up half of his sandwich, bit into it.
“I was mad at your mother for a long time, too, because I blamed her for your decision to leave Rust Creek Falls,” she confided.
“It wasn’t her fault.”
“That doesn’t matter—feelings don’t need to be rational, they just need to be.” She looked at the sandwich on her plate: thickly sliced ham between slices of fresh bread slathered with mustard, just the way she liked it. But she picked up her mug, sipped her coffee instead. “And it was easier to blame her than to accept that it might have been my fault.”
“It wasn’t your fault, either,” he said in the same deliberately casual tone.
She nibbled on a chip. “I felt as if I’d let you down—but you let me down, too.”
“What did I do?”
“You left.”
“I’m pretty sure we talked about that,” he said drily.
“But I didn’t believe you would actually go,” she admitted. “I knew you were angry and upset, but I still didn’t think you would leave. And when you did, I was sure you wouldn’t be gone for very long.” She gave him a wry smile. “Obviously I forgot how stubborn you can be.”
“Said the pot to the kettle,” he noted wryly.
She opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again. “Okay—I could have called and tried to keep in touch.”
He didn’t ask why she hadn’t, for which she was grateful, because she wasn’t entirely sure how she would have answered that question. Because the truth—that it hurt too much to know that he was so far away—was too revealing.
“Speaking of keeping in touch—how are things in Seattle?” she asked in a somewhat desperate attempt to redirect her thoughts. Thinking about her history with Sutter was only going to lead to heartbreak; she needed to remember that his present was far away from Rust Creek Falls—and her.
“Everything seems to be under control.”
“Seems to be?”
“I have complete faith in Jenni and Reese.”
Jenni, she remembered, was his trainer—the one who drank margaritas. And Reese—she tried to remember what he’d told her about him. “Reese is your stable manager?”
He nodded. “And all-around go-to guy.”
“Still, you must be itching to get back and check on things for yourself.” She kept her voice light, determined not to let him know how much the knowledge that he would be leaving again tore her up inside. Because he’d made her no promises, and he’d certainly never pretended that he was back in Rust Creek Falls to stay.
“There doesn’t seem to be any urgent need, and right now I’m more concerned about what’s happening here.”
“Everything is on track here—thanks to Lissa Roarke. It’s amazing how much attention she’s drawn to Rust Creek Falls and the devastation done by the floods.”
“I wasn’t talking about the status of the town, but the status of us.”
“I want us to be friends, Sutter. But anything more than that—” she shook her head “—just isn’t going to happen.”
Sutter seemed to consider her statement for a long minute before he responded. “I can accept being friends,” he finally agreed. Then he flashed the smile that never failed to make her knees weak. “For a start.”
* * *
As the weather continued to grow colder and the occasional dustings of snow started to accumulate, Paige began to appreciate not having to leave her house to go to work. Although holding classes in her home provided a whole other set of challenges, especially when the kids started bouncing off the walls in anticipation of the upcoming holidays. Right after Halloween, their thoughts had fast-forwarded to Christmas, and every one of her students was excited. Everyone except Ryder.
Paige couldn’t help but notice that the more the other kids talked about the upcoming holiday, the more withdrawn Sutter’s eldest nephew became. She wished there was some way to reach him—to bring him out of himself and get him involved in something.
A recent staff meeting at the principal’s house had included a discussion about the elementary school’s annual Christmas production. Some of the teachers wanted to cancel it this year, suggesting that their time and attention were better spent on other things. Paige was relieved when the principal insisted that was exactly why the kids needed it more than ever.
Of course, Ryder had no interest in auditioning for the play. In fact, when she suggested it to him, he shook his head. “I don’t wanna be in any stupid play.” Then, as if aware that his comment might have sounded disrespectful, he quickly added, “ma’am.”
Paige didn’t press the issue. She understood that some kids lived for the opportunity to get up on stage and others preferred to stay in the background. So she waited a couple of days, and then she casually mentioned that there was a lot of work to be done on the scenery for the play. Though he had a tendency to downplay his talent, Ryder was quite artistic. She didn’t expect him to jump up and volunteer, and he didn’t, but when she told him that she would appreciate any help he could give her on the project, he silently nodded his agreement.
While her days were busy with her students, Paige knew that Sutter was keeping busy, too. He was usually at the ranch, helping his father and his brothers with whatever needed to be done at the Triple T, but when he had time to spare, he made his way into town and invariably found somewhere else to lend a hand.
And whenever he was in town, he stopped by to see Paige before he headed home again. And the more time she spent with him, the more difficult it was to remember that they were only friends.
If she didn’t see him every day, he called or texted. Sometimes more than once. She knew that she was playing a dangerous game, but every time she tried to put on the brakes or pull back, Sutter was there. And it would only take one stroke of a fingertip over the back of her hand or a casual brush of his lips against hers and she would forget all the reasons why getting involved again was a bad idea.
With each day that passed, Paige couldn’t help but notice that everything seemed better when she was with Sutter. She’d thought she was perfectly content with her life, but with Sutter she was truly happy, and at the same time frustratingly discontented. Because every time he kissed her or touched her, he made her want more.
And as one day turned into the next, it got harder and harder for Paige to keep him at a distance. It didn’t seem to matter that she knew it would be a mistake to get involved with Sutter again, that it was only a matter of time before he left Rust Creek Falls and headed back to Seattle.
Because the longer he stayed, the more she found herself hoping that he’d stay forever. She knew that wasn’t a fair or reasonable hope when he had a business in Seattle, but still it blossomed inside her heart.
And if he asks you to go to Seattle with him again? Lindsay’s words echoed in her mind, giving her pause. If he wouldn’t stay—would she be willing to go? Her head cautioned against it, but her heart was quietly pounding, “Yes. Yes. Yes.” But it was a moot question, because he hadn’t asked her.
On Wednesday, Sutter spent the afternoon helping rebuild fences in town, so she invited him to come over for dinner when he was finished. Although he didn’t show up at her place until almost seven o’clock, she was just pulling the chicken out of the oven.
“I was going to apologize for being late, but apparently I’m not.”
“You are,” she told him. “But I’m running behind schedule, too.”
“Had to keep some unruly students after class?” he teased.
She just shook her head. “And I have to renege on our plans for tomorrow night.”
“Why’s that?”
“I have four pounds of ground beef that need to be made into meat loaves.”
“You don’t even like meat loaf.”
She wondered how, after five years, he remembered that when her own mother never did. “It’s for my mom,” she admitted. “She was carrying a basket of laundry up the stairs and fell and broke her collarbone.”
“Ouch,” he said, reminding her that he’d suffered the same injury when he’d been thrown from a horse when he was thirteen. “That’s not fun.”
“No,” she agreed. “That’s why dinner’s late—my dad was in court today so she called me, and I spent three hours at the clinic with her this afternoon.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
She was touched that he would ask. Especially considering that neither of her parents had been warm or welcoming since his return. But Sutter had always been willing to lend a hand wherever it was needed, as evidenced by his return to Rust Creek Falls despite the tension that remained between him and his parents.
“Thanks, but my sisters have made a schedule of household chores and meal preparation. I’m on dinner prep Tuesdays and kitchen cleanup Thursdays. They’ve even got Caleb scheduled to do laundry, which makes me doubly grateful that I have my own washer and dryer.”
“Are you scheduled for anything on Saturday?”
“Not officially,” she told him. “But I’ll probably be at the school for a few hours in the morning, and then I need to get started on my holiday baking.”
“It’s only the middle of November.”
“It’s
not only but already the middle of November,” she clarified. “And with my mom being laid up, I offered to do her baking, too.”
“Do you want a few extra pairs of hands?”
She eyed him warily. “I’d say it depends on who those extra hands belong to.”
“Me and my nephews.”
“I can’t quite picture you decorating sugar cookies.”
“Well, if it was up to me, I’d show you a more creative use of icing and sprinkles, but since I promised to take Dallas’s boys for the day, that will have to wait.”
The heat in his gaze practically singed her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. And the slow, sexy smile that curved his lips made all of her female parts ache and throb. It was too easy to imagine what he was thinking, and now she was thinking it, too, and wishing that he wouldn’t have the boys with him on Saturday.
“You should check with your nephews first,” she told him.
“Why?”
“Because I get the impression that Ryder isn’t too excited about the holidays.”
“Probably because it was the day after Christmas last year that Laurel walked out,” Sutter told her.
She hadn’t been sure of the exact date, but she’d remembered that it had been sometime around Christmas because it had been a hot topic of conversation in town after the holidays—the fact that Dallas’s wife had packed up and walked out, not just on her husband but her children.
Paige still didn’t understand how Laurel could have done such a thing. Maybe she’d fallen out of love with her husband—and considering the man’s grumpy attitude of late, Paige could understand how that might happen. But she didn’t understand how any woman could abandon her children, and Paige’s heart broke for the three beautiful boys who had been left behind.
“That would certainly explain his less than jolly attitude,” she acknowledged.
“You didn’t know?”
She shook her head. “Not any of the details.”
“She didn’t even talk to him about it,” Sutter told her now. “He just woke up on the morning of December 26 and found a note on her pillow.”
“I heard it mentioned that one of the Triple T’s ranch hands disappeared around the same time as Laurel.”
