by Lilian Darcy
She nodded. “I guess I can understand why you’d want the privacy here, especially now that you and Paige are back together.”
Was she only repeating what she’d heard around town, or had Paige given some indication that they were heading in that direction? “What makes you say that?” he asked cautiously.
“I guess I just assumed... You’ve been seeing a lot of her, and...”
“And she set this up,” he said again.
“She thought it was important for us to talk,” Ellie said.
“She was right.”
“She obviously still cares about you.”
He didn’t know if it was obvious, but he hoped it was true. And as grateful as he was that Paige had helped him bridge the gap with his mother, that didn’t mean he was going to confess his deepest feelings to her. Instead, he gestured to the oven. “Is that fried chicken in there?”
She nodded. “And roasted potatoes, buttered carrots and corn bread.”
All of his favorites.
“Are you hungry?” Ellie asked hopefully.
“Famished,” he told her.
She smiled. “Let’s eat.”
* * *
While Sutter was having dinner with his mother, Paige was pacing her kitchen, unable to choke down a single mouthful of the grilled tilapia and rice that she’d prepared for her own dinner. It was seven o’clock, so she knew that he would have arrived home by now—and found Ellie preparing his meal.
Paige knew that Sutter’s mother had some reservations about what she considered to be an ambush, but she would be there. She loved her son too much not to do whatever was necessary to bring him fully back into the fold of her family.
Paige was confident that Ellie could handle it because she knew what was coming. Sutter, on the other hand, had no clue, and she didn’t know how he would respond. It was entirely possible that he would be furious with both her and his mother.
She picked at her now-cold fish, managed a couple of forkfuls of rice before she dumped the rest of it in the garbage. She tidied up the kitchen, then she dusted and vacuumed her living room/classroom, and when a knock sounded on the front door, she nearly jumped out of her skin.
She peeked through the front window and recognized Sutter’s truck. Her knees were trembling as she made her way to the door, and her heart was lodged in her throat so that she wasn’t sure she’d be able to speak past it. But it didn’t matter, because Sutter didn’t wait for an invitation, walking right into the house when she opened the door for him.
Because her living room was still a classroom, he took a seat at the kitchen island.
Paige leaned back against the counter, facing him.
“Are you mad?”
“About what?”
Neither his tone nor his words gave away anything of what he was thinking or feeling. “About dinner tonight,” she prompted.
“Why would I be mad?” he said easily. “No one makes fried chicken like my mother.”
“You’re deliberately misunderstanding me.”
“So this isn’t one of those times when you want me to misunderstand you?”
She felt her cheeks flush. “Okay—I should learn to mind my own business.”
“That was my first thought when I walked into the house and found my mother in the kitchen instead of you,” he admitted.
“Do you want me to apologize?”
“No.” He pushed off the stool and rounded the island to stand in front of her. “I want to know why.”
She wasn’t ready to admit that she’d hoped if he worked things out with his family, he might think about moving back to Rust Creek Falls. “Because I don’t know when to mind my own business?” she suggested instead.
“Maybe,” he acknowledged. “And I guess the reason doesn’t matter as much as the result.”
She exhaled slowly, “Does that mean you talked?”
“Yes, we talked, we hugged, she cried. It was just like a made-for-TV movie.”
The curve of her lips was probably just a little smug.
“You’re dying to say ‘I told you so,’ aren’t you?” Sutter noted.
“No,” she denied. “Actually I’m just marveling over the fact that you’re talking about your feelings—and still breathing.”
He lowered his head toward her. “If I stop breathing, will you give me mouth-to-mouth?”
“I don’t think you need to worry.”
“Maybe we should take some preemptive measures—” he brushed his lips against hers “—just in case.”
“Well, it’s better to be safe than sorry, isn’t it?”
“Absolutely.” His fingers combed through the ends of her hair, tugging gently to tip her head back so that he could capture her mouth more completely.
His tongue delved between her lips, tangled with hers. Desire, hot and heavy, flooded her system, pulsed between her thighs. Her body quivered like a racehorse at the starting gate, eager to finally end three seemingly endless years of celibacy.
Except her mind wasn’t nearly as ready as her body to forgive and forget and get naked. So when his hands skimmed down her back and over her buttocks and she was very close to melting into a puddle at his feet, she forced herself to pull away instead.
“What are we doing here, Sutter?”
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I was hoping to get to second base,” he teased.
She managed a smile. “Okay, but beyond the obvious. Why? Why are we going back down a road that’s only going to lead to a dead end?”
“How do you know that it will?”
“Because nothing has really changed. Aside from your relationship with your mother, which is great, but somehow I don’t think you’ve suddenly changed your mind about going back to Seattle.”
“Can’t we just enjoy the journey without worrying about the destination?”
“Maybe you can,” she said. “But I can’t. Because one trip to Heartbreak Falls was enough for me.”
“You weren’t the only one who was hurt,” he reminded her.
“I know. So why would we want to go through that again?”
“Because we’re not the same people we were five years ago, and I think—I know—things can be different this time.”
She wanted to believe him, because she didn’t want anything else as much as she wanted to be with him, but she wasn’t quite ready to take that risk.
“Maybe they can,” she finally allowed. “But one thing that hasn’t changed is that Tuesday is still a school night.”
“And you have a field trip planned with your class tomorrow,” he remembered.
She nodded. “We’re going to town hall to sort and organize the boxes and cans that have been collected so far for the community food drive.”
“Maybe I’ll stop by to help.”
“We could use it,” she told him. “Nina’s done a great job promoting the food and clothing drives, and donations have been pretty steady.”
The shopkeeper also planned to put up a “Tree of Hope” in the store after Thanksgiving and decorate it with tags for disadvantaged children. Her hope was that customers would choose tags, buy gifts for the children represented then return to the store with the gifts, which would be distributed to the children for Christmas. This community spirit that inspired even those who had lost so much to dig deep and find something to give to others less fortunate was yet another facet of the town that Paige loved.
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, and brushed one last kiss on her lips before heading for the door.
* * *
Sutter had always known that family was important to Paige. If he’d had any doubts, the lengths to which she’d gone to ensure his reconciliation with his mother obliterated them. But he still hadn’t f
ixed things with his brother, and he knew that was the necessary next step, because his breakup with Paige went back to his falling out with Forrest.
He’d wanted Paige to stand by him, to support him, but she’d sided with his brother instead. Or so it had seemed when he’d been twenty-three years old and had desperately needed someone to be on his side. In retrospect, he could accept that there had been no right or wrong, and that nothing that had been said or done then could have fixed what had gone wrong between him and his brother. Only he could do that.
And he needed to do it. Because fixing what was broken between him and Forrest was the only hope he had of fixing things with Paige for good. And he wanted to fix things with Paige, because she was the only woman he’d ever loved—and the woman he still loved.
He knew that she still had strong feelings for him, too, but she was wary. He understood why. The frequent references she made to his life in Seattle were proof that she expected him to leave again—because he’d told her that he would. But that conversation had taken place before the election, and a lot had changed in the weeks that had passed since then.
This wasn’t his first trip back to Rust Creek Falls since he’d left town five years earlier, but he could count the number of trips on one hand, and every one of his previous trips had been of short duration. In fact, prior to this most recent visit, he didn’t think he’d ever managed to stay longer than a weekend. Even when he’d planned to spend a week or two, old hurts and insecurities had reared up and driven him back to Seattle again.
He was determined to finally put those old hurts and insecurities to rest so that he could look to the future instead of the past. He knew that Forrest and Angie were in Rust Creek Falls for Thanksgiving, and he knew he couldn’t delay any longer. Before Forrest had enlisted, when he’d thought he would stay in Rust Creek Falls and work on the Triple T with his father and his brothers, he’d built a small house on the property. Since Sutter didn’t want to cause a scene in front of the whole family, he decided to track his brother down there.
Despite the chill in the air, Sutter felt perspiration bead on his brow as he approached the front door. Now that he was actually at the door of his brother’s house, his heart was pounding in his chest and his mind was assailed by doubts and fears, the foremost one being: What if Forrest turned him away?
And he realized it was the fear of screwing up again that had held him back from making any overture prior to now. So long as he hadn’t reached out and been slapped back, there was always the possibility of fixing his relationship with Forrest. But if he tried and failed— No, he didn’t even want to consider the possibility.
He was relieved when the door opened and he saw that it wasn’t Forrest standing on the other side but his beautiful young wife, Angie.
“Sutter?”
He couldn’t blame her for being uncertain—they’d only met once before, when she and Forrest had come to Rust Creek Falls the night of the election to support Collin in his bid for mayor.
“Yeah,” he said. “I apologize for dropping by uninvited—”
“You’re family,” she interjected, and a smile of genuine pleasure and welcome spread across her face. “Family doesn’t need an invitation. Please come in.”
Sutter stepped inside, and removed his hat from his head.
“Can I get you anything? A cup of coffee?” She glanced pointedly at the hands that clutched the brim of his hat. “A glass of whiskey?”
So much for thinking he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. He cleared his throat. “Actually, coffee would be great, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“It’s already on,” she said, leading him back to the kitchen.
She gestured for him to sit, so he did, and she poured a fresh mug of coffee for him.
“Is, uh, Forrest around?”
“He just went out for a walk—part of his morning ritual. The exercise helps ease the stiffness in his leg and the fresh air helps clear his head. He still has nightmares sometimes,” she confided, “but not as often as he used to.”
“Forrest and I— We’ve never really talked about what he went through in Iraq,” he admitted.
“Probably because you’ve barely spoken at all since he got back.”
“He told you that?”
“He did,” she confirmed, and the look she sent him was almost apologetic. “And so has everyone else in town.”
“I should have figured.”
Angie reached across the table and touched his hand. “But you’re here now, and that’s what matters.”
“I guess we’ll have to see if your husband shares that opinion.”
As if on cue, the back door opened and Forrest came in.
“Sutter.” Forrest looked from his brother to Angie, as if she might have the answers to the questions that were undoubtedly spinning through his mind.
“I hope it’s okay that I stopped by.”
“Sure. I’m just...surprised.” He looked at his wife again, silently—almost desperately—pleading.
Angie poured another mug of coffee and pressed it into Forrest’s hands. “I’m going to head up to the main house, to see if your mom needs anything from town,” she said.
Then she kissed her husband, and gently squeezed Sutter’s shoulder as she passed.
Forrest didn’t move until the door closed behind her, then he took a couple of hesitant steps toward the table and finally lowered himself into a chair across from his brother.
“It looks like the move to Thunder Canyon was a good one for you,” Sutter noted.
The hint of a smile played around the corners of his brother’s mouth. “Better than good.”
“Marriage definitely agrees with you.”
“I didn’t think it was what I wanted,” Forrest told him. “After Iraq, I was so messed up. I felt guilty for living when so many others had died. And I didn’t want to be happy. I didn’t think I deserved to be happy. Then I met Angie.”
“And put a ring on her finger before she could change her mind?” he teased.
“Angie was the one who was in a hurry. I just wanted to make her happy.” He took his time sipping his coffee, as if he was trying to figure out what else to say. “You could’ve come to the wedding.”
“I did,” Sutter admitted.
Forrest frowned. “You were there?”
Sutter nodded. “But I didn’t want anyone to know I was there, so I snuck in the back of the church just as the bride was starting to walk down the aisle. By the way, interesting choice of ring bearer.”
His brother inclined his head. “Apparently you were there.”
“I’m guessing there’s a story behind the dog?”
Forrest nodded. “Smiley’s a therapy dog—and the reason I met Angie.”
“You looked happy,” Sutter said.
“I’ve never been happier,” his brother said. “Angie wasn’t just what I wanted, but what I needed. She turned my life around.”
“I’m glad.” He finished his coffee and decided he’d procrastinated long enough. “But I didn’t come here to talk about your wedding.”
“I didn’t think you did.”
“I wanted to talk to you... Well, I guess I just really needed to say that...I’m sorry.”
“What exactly are you apologizing for?”
“For not supporting you when you chose to go back to Iraq.”
“You were expressing your opinion.” His gaze dropped to his leg. “And it turned out you were right to have some concerns.”
“I didn’t want to be right,” Sutter told him. “I just wanted you to be safe. I was terrified that something would happen and I’d lose you forever.” He dropped his gaze to the now-empty mug he held cradled between his palms so that he could pretend his eyes weren’t blurred with tears.
&nbs
p; “And thank God you came home and we didn’t lose you forever,” he continued, when he was sure he could do so without blubbering. “But the past five years have felt like forever. And I hope you can forgive me, because I’d really like my brother back.”
Forrest cleared his throat. “I’d like mine back, too.”
“Really?” Sutter couldn’t believe his brother was letting him off the hook so easily. Except that if he considered that he’d been estranged from most of his family and Forrest had nearly been killed, none of it had been easy for either of them.
“Really,” Forrest confirmed.
“Now I wish I’d had the courage to initiate this conversation when you’d first returned from Iraq.”
His brother shook his head. “I wasn’t ready then, and not for a long time after. Probably not until Angie pushed her way into my life.”
“I’m looking forward to getting to know her and hearing her version of the story,” Sutter said.
“She taught me not to live in the past,” Forrest confided. “And she gave me hope for the kind of future I long ago gave up thinking I could ever have.”
“I guess when you have a woman like that, you’d be crazy to let her go.”
“You’re thinking about Paige,” his brother guessed.
Sutter nodded. “I made a lot of mistakes five years ago.”
“Is she still making you pay for them?”
“No. Yes.” He shook his head. “I don’t even know. She doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge, but she is holding back.”
“You want more than she’s giving you?”
“I want it all,” Sutter admitted.
Forrest’s brows lifted in silent question.
“Marriage, kids, forever,” he clarified.
“Have you told her that?”
“Not yet.”
“What are you waiting for?”
He wasn’t sure. Or maybe he was worried that Paige wasn’t sure. And he wasn’t ready to put his heart on the line without being certain that hers was involved, too.
“If I learned nothing else in Iraq, I learned that there are no guaranteed tomorrows. If you want to be with Paige, don’t wait to tell her.”
