by Lilian Darcy
“Don’t you believe in love?” she asked him finally.
“Absolutely. It’s a wonderful thing. I’ve been in love twice. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it takes more than love to make a relationship. You can start with love or not, but in the long run you need friendship, trust, understanding, patience. Hell, Edie, I know from experience that marriage is a lot of work, much of it unexpected. Getting all dewy-eyed at the start won’t change that. I’ve watched my parents work at it. I’ve had to work at it.”
“But why do the work without love?”
“Maybe because you have a kid. Anyway, I’m not pressuring you, but I meant it. I’ll marry you today, tomorrow or six months from now. My main point is that you’ve been dealing with this all on your own for months now. You’re not alone any longer. I’ll do everything I possibly can to help.”
“Thank you,” she said finally. Her voice cracked. God, she hated that she felt so weak right now, so alone, so overwhelmed. What had happened to that woman who had come marching out here to do her duty and then skedaddle? Yet lying here like this, she felt an ache of need for what Seth was offering: not to have to face all this by herself.
Weakness? Or good sense?
Almost as if he had read her mind, he remarked, “How many people do you rely on when you get in your helo? Ground crew, maintenance, copilot, door gunner...” He trailed off, letting her think about it. A few minutes later he added, “Yes, you take the responsibility as pilot, but you’re relying on others to do their share. We all do. Hell, I had a whole team. We were as tightly knotted in our dependency on each other as a rat’s nest, only as good as our weakest link. If we’re really honest with ourselves, none of us gets through life truly alone. Well except maybe for a hermit, and somebody has to bring him food.”
That drew another small laugh from her. She thought about what he was saying, though, and realized his points were valid. There was a difference between shouldering responsibility and depending on no one else. A huge difference.
He lifted his hand from her belly and gave her a gentle squeeze. “We’ll figure it out, Major. That’s what we’re trained to do after all.”
* * *
Seth got her to change out of her cammies and into her few civvies, and put her duffel back in his bedroom.
“Just promise me,” he said, “promise me that you won’t try to take off again for a week or two. You have the leave time.”
She suddenly recalled that he’d had a woman walk out on him before. Hadn’t she just faced that yesterday when they had their minifight in the car? What had she been thinking and why did she keep trying to run?
Maybe that was the question that she should be pondering. Did she fear she might give him more of herself than he would want? That she would come to care and thus get hurt? If so, she had just won the chicken award.
She didn’t run from things. At least not until this. God, she was turning into a wimp. She stiffened her spine. “Then I need some more clothes. Unless you have a washer I can use every night.”
“Waste of water. Want to go back to Freitag’s and see if you can find something else you like enough to wear?”
At least it would change the subject and give her something else to think about for an hour. Maternity clothes. She was still having trouble with that.
“It’s not far. Can we walk? Because I really need the exercise.”
He smiled. “Of course. And I’ll help carry things back.”
The quiet streets enchanted her. Big old trees, changing before the winds of late fall, created a near-tunnel over the sidewalks. The houses, most of them small and older, showed a lot of loving care for the most part, although the lawns would have failed inspection on a military base.
But she liked it, liked the cool, dry breeze, the rustling of those changing leaves, the sense of peace that permeated the place. “Does anything happen around here?”
“Oh, yeah. Every so often my dad used to announce that the place was going to hell in a handbasket.”
“When he was sheriff?”
“Yeah. Things happen here the way they happen anywhere. Most people here are good people, though. Great neighbors. If it was ever any more peaceful than it is now, I wouldn’t know. Sometimes I think Dad was exaggerating, but obviously I have a different metric.”
“To say the least.” She looked at him from the corner of her eye. Damn, he was handsome. It was as if his life had honed him to near perfection. Every single time she wasn’t worrying the issue of the baby, the attraction slammed her again. If she wasn’t careful, a one-night stand could turn into multiple nights. She wasn’t sure she could handle that.
The thought of his suggestion of a marriage of convenience wafted through her mind again. She wanted to quash it immediately, for fear she might seize it as an easy solution that would turn out to be anything but easy. But the idea drew her almost as much as he did. Still, some part of her rebelled at turning the raising of their child into a mission. A mission? Shouldn’t it be something more than that?
Yet what was a mission, really? A duty, an act of necessity at great risk to accomplish a stated goal. Why should life be any different? She almost sighed. “So you’re thinking about becoming a deputy?”
“I don’t know,” he said frankly. “I’m still working my way back to being a civilian. I have a built-in hair trigger after all these years. I’m not certain that would be the best thing in law enforcement.”
“So you need time.”
“Some, anyway. We’re both going through major changes. I’m sure you get it.”
Indeed she did.
As they drew nearer to the downtown, she noticed that the houses increased in size, big gracious buildings from before the Second World War. Not huge, by any means, but they struck her as solid and enduring, unlike much of what she’d known in her life. The street grew a little wider, the lawns a little better tended. Yet still no one was out and about except for a rare passing car. Folks around here must work or be very busy somehow. The quiet of the place, the peacefulness of it, called to her. She’d known little enough of it over the years.
They were approaching Freitag’s when a woman of about forty with shaggy, short, blond-streaked hair accosted them. She wore a blue flight suit and called out, “Hey, bro, what’s the rush?”
The woman turned out to be Wendy Yuma, Seth’s sister, the flight nurse he had mentioned.
“You must be Edie Clapton,” Wendy said warmly after Seth introduced her.
So the news was out, Edie realized. Well, of course she couldn’t have expected Marge Tate to keep quiet among the family. Her stomach fluttered. Or maybe it was the baby. “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, too.” Wendy smiled as they shook hands. “I haven’t got a whole lot of time. I need to get back to the station. How about we do dinner at my place a soon as I can figure out when the schedule is clear? Barring an emergency, that is. Are you guys going to the diner?”
Edie flushed faintly. “I need some more clothes.”
“Well, good luck at Freitag’s. They have some maternity stuff but not much. Mainly because the mothers around here exchange it constantly. I hope you’re not into froufrou because they don’t have it.”
“I noticed yesterday. And I hate froufrou.”
“Good.” Wendy’s smile widened.
“Say,” Seth said, “do you suppose Yuma would give Edie a chance to fly one of the Hueys? She flies Pave Hawks right now.”
Wendy’s brow lifted. “CSAR, huh? I bet you he would. And you ought to have plenty to talk about. Yuma flew medevacs in ’Nam. I’ll give you a call. Nice meeting you, Edie.” Then she hurried off.
“She’s nice,” Edie remarked, looking after her before resuming the walk that had now taken them to the main street. Freitag’s was half a block ahead. “Why does sh
e call her husband by his last name?”
“Because he prefers it. His given name is Billy Joe. Wendy calls him that once in a while but she’s the only one.”
“Interesting. She looks a bit like your mom.”
“But not as pushy,” Seth said wryly.
“Your mom’s not pushy. She’s just...” Edie sought a nicer word.
“Pushy,” Seth repeated. “She’s been a mother too long.”
Edie laughed quietly. “I guess that would do it.”
“With six daughters? About like being a pilot or a SEAL, I think.”
That drew an even louder laugh from her. “I guess we’re going to find out.”
As soon as the words popped out, she realized how they might sound. She stole a glance at Seth, but he seemed not to have noticed. After a moment she relaxed again. If he’d taken it the wrong way, he could call her on it. Otherwise, she’d just forget it.
This time he didn’t wait near the front of the store, but followed her back to the maternity section. “Use my arms to throw things over if you like them,” he said easily.
She hesitated. “Seth, people might talk.”
“They probably already are. And they’re good at putting two and two together, believe me.”
She hadn’t thought about that possibility, but standing there faced by racks of maternity clothes, she realized that it was inevitable. She had bought maternity clothes yesterday. She was staying with Seth. What would be the most obvious conclusion to draw?
“Do you...do you mind?” she asked carefully.
“Hell, no. I’m sure I’ve already been cast as the villain in the piece, the unscrupulous user of innocent women who will now pay for his sins. At least they won’t be bored for a few days.”
He gave her a breathtaking grin. She giggled. “So we’re a soap opera?”
“Pretty darn near.”
“I’d rather be cast as the evil seductress of the sheriff’s son.”
His eyes twinkled. “You certainly fit the role.” He waggled his eyebrows at her. “Damn it, Edie, one look at you and I was in your thrall. Under your spell. There’s something about a woman in cammies...”
She laughed so hard then that two saleswomen came to look and tears ran down her cheeks. “No lace and satin for you, huh?”
“Uncle Sam raised me. I lose it over cammies.” He paused and winked. “Of course if you want to try the lace and satin I’d be happy to advise.”
He kept his voice low so he couldn’t be overheard, and she was grateful, but her heart skipped at least three beats at the suggestion. Lace and satin? Boy, would she love to try that sometime. The thought surprised her, as she’d never felt such a desire before, but then she remembered the baby bump. Wouldn’t that look cute in some sexy getup? Her laughter renewed, but when he questioned her, she refused to explain.
Instead she turned her attention to the clothes. It wasn’t as hard to face today for some reason. Maybe she’d crossed another hurdle in her adjustment. Seth offered no advice or opinion except that since it was getting cooler, she might want some long sleeves, maybe some flannel.
She settled on some jeans, some cotton flannel work shirts, and broke down for one prettier top in royal blue with some ridiculous sequins around the neck. She saw the way Seth’s eyes smiled when she picked it, and wished she knew what he was thinking. She shooed him away though when she chose some underwear. It seemed ridiculous even to her after the intimacy they had shared, but she sent him on his way with the things she had already purchased.
“I’ll meet you at the register. Now scat.”
He laughed and did as told. And that’s where she really lost her mind. Maybe the women around here worked hard and didn’t want a lot of froufrou, but that evidently didn’t extend to underwear. Feeling almost guilty, she selected some satin items and a couple of bras with a little lace. For the life of her, she couldn’t have said why.
When she returned to the register, she sent him away while she paid. She didn’t want him to see her selections. Not yet, anyway.
Where the heck had that thought come from? For an instant she almost returned the frilly items, then steeled herself and bought them. She could always find a trash can if she changed her mind.
Seth took most of the sacks from her when she joined him out front. “Lunch?” he asked. “We’ve got a great selection: Maude’s, Maude’s or Maude’s.”
“Lead me to a salad and a small sandwich.”
“Big salad, but small sandwich not likely. We can take the leftovers home. And maybe I need to learn how to cook. When you see Maude’s menu, the baby will probably gag, but dang, it’s good food.”
Maude was an experience all by herself. Edie wouldn’t have thought that a woman so rude could manage to run a successful business, but there was no mistaking the success of it. The place was jammed and they got the last booth.
She sensed dozens of eyes on her, could almost feel the questions beating on the back of her head. Well, let them wonder. She focused her attention on Seth, which was surprisingly easy to do, and on the huge salad that came loaded with grilled chicken and a grumble from Maude about “expecting women need protein.”
She almost choked.
Seth shrugged. “Told you,” he said. “Judging by that salad, I get the role of villain. I hope she doesn’t burn my steak.”
“Would she?”
“Absolutely.” He flashed a smile. “You never have to wonder where you stand with Maude or her daughters.”
“I actually don’t mind that.”
“Most of us don’t. She can take some getting used to, though.”
Thirty seconds after he made that comment, Maude put a tall glass of milk in front of Edie. Evidently she wasn’t going to get the coffee she had asked for. Her lips started twitching and she had to fight down a laugh.
When had laughing become so easy? Why was she feeling so light today, especially after a night of tossing and turning? She decided not to question it, however. She was sure all the worries would return in good time.
Seth kept the conversation light and general, sort of like the fun they’d had that night in Afghanistan, both of them seeking a break from reality. They kept it up all the way back to his house and the good feeling followed them right through the door.
He took her bags to the bedroom, saying, “Time to put the feet up, my lady. I think I’m going to go out and buy a bed for one of the spare rooms, so you might as well rest. I’ll be back soon.”
She wondered if he wanted to get away from her. Something must have shown on her face, though, because he reached out suddenly and gripped her upper arm gently. “You can come if you want. I just thought you might need a nap.”
“I do,” she admitted. The nearly sleepless night seemed to be catching up with her.
“I won’t be long,” he promised. “Just a bed they’ll probably deliver tomorrow. You can even help me pick out the sheets in the morning if you want.”
She smiled then, feeling better.
“And I swear,” he added as he headed for the door, “I’m going to figure out something I can cook tonight.”
“What are you going to cook in?”
“I bet if I tell my mom I’m in the mood to get domesticated, she’ll have some pots to spare. I do have dishes, you know.”
A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Have you ever thought about how utterly capable you and I are with some things, and how utterly incapable we are with others?”
“Often lately,” he admitted, looking rueful. “I’ve been staggering my learning curve, but it looks like I need to speed some of it up.”
After Seth left, Edie debated whether to go nap in bed or on the recliner. She settled on the recliner after only a few minutes’ thought. It seemed better somehow. Certain habits of safet
y hadn’t departed, she realized. She wanted to know if anyone came into the house.
Life lived on the edge for too long, she thought as drowsiness began to sweep through her. Too long. When had she last truly relaxed?
With Seth that one night. And again today. Wondering about that, she fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter Seven
Seth had been using a twin bed as a convenience until he finished the renovations. So, of course, given all that was going on, did he just go buy another cheap one for one of the other bedrooms? Definitely not. He’d intended to get a king-size bed eventually, to fit his height better, and that’s what he bought.
Try explaining that one to Edie, he thought as he wrote the check for the mattress and frame. But it would be stupid to buy yet another bed he wouldn’t be likely to use in the long run.
He arranged for afternoon delivery the next day, then skipped the sheer idiocy of calling his mother and bought a set of cookware and utensils that were recommended by the clerk. Enough to manage some simple cooking, he figured, and while he claimed to be unable, he’d been married twice. There were a number of things he had learned to cook during those two spells, and he was pretty sure he hadn’t forgotten how.
On the way out the door, heading for the grocery next, he spied a display of stuffed animals. Completing his idiocy, he bought a big stuffed bear for Edie. He could always claim it was for the kid if it bothered her.
He’d been thinking hard since yesterday when she’d thrown out that sarcastic suggestion that they should just get married. His response hadn’t changed. It looked to him like the best way to handle all the things they were going to have to deal with. Logical. Good planning. Mission-specific action.
